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CHAPTER 4

"How long have you been standing there?" She asked wiping away her tears and trying unsuccessfully to fix her face into a sneer.

"Long enough." Ryan said, "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine." Sharpay answered unconvincingly, "Um, I've got a lot of homework so I'll just see you guys at dinner."

Sharpay ran out of the room leaving all six boys staring after her. Brad was the first to break the silence, "So should someone go after her?"

"No." Ryan said, "She's already mad enough that we saw her in here. I'll talk to her later."

Later that evening the guys were sitting in the kitchen eating pizza when Sharpay came in. She rummaged through one of the drawers until she found a box full of keys. Still not saying a word she left the kitchen. Seconds later they could hear the clattering of a key in a lock. Finally they heard the click and Sharpay's satisfied response. They she came back into the room and put the box back.

"Sharpay? What are you doing?" Ryan asked

"I locked the door to the music room. No one needs to go in there ever again." Sharpay said.

"What are you talking about?" Ryan asked

"You have your studio in the basement, dad isn't musically gifted and the only people who ever used to use the room were me and mom and since neither of us will ever be singing or doing anything musical anymore I figured why keep the room open." She said this with false cheerfulness and quickly grabbed a slice of pizza and left the room before any comments could be made.

Ryan ran a hand over his eyes, "She's going to come around right?"

"I don't know man, she seemed pretty serious." Chad said

"Just look at it from her point of view." Troy interjected, "Your mom died coming to hear her sing, she feels guilty. She thinks that the thing she loved is what killed your mom."

"I know but it's just so hard to watch her go through this." Ryan said, "We've always been so close and now she won't even talk to me about it. It's just so frustrating. She said we would work through it together but we don't. I talk she listens and that's the end of it. She won't let me help her."

"Well buddy, tonight we are going to make you forget your troubles." Brad said

"What are you talking about?" Ryan asked

"There's a huge party at Logan's and rumor has it that Kelsey is going to be there." Kevin said

"So." Ryan shrugged

"Dude, we're not girls. No need to play hard to get. We know you like her and the girls think that she likes you to." Marc clapped a hand on Ryan's back.

"All right, its not like I can talk to Sharpay with all of you here, lets go." Ryan agreed reluctantly

"You guys go on ahead, I left my sweatshirt upstairs, and I'll catch up." Troy said. He watched as the boys all left and drove off. He moved towards the stairs and headed up to Sharpay's room. Her door was open but he still knocked softly as he entered. "Hey."

"Hi." She said turning to look at him from her spot on the bed. "I thought you guys left."

" They went on ahead, I wanted to talk to you." Troy said.

"About what?" Sharpay asked

"You know what." He said

"I'm fine, OK? I'm not doing it anymore." Sharpay said harshly

"I don't believe you." Troy walked over and sat on the bed in front of her and forced her to look at him. "You think you made a mistake by letting me in that far and maybe your right because I'm gonna be on your ass all the time to make sure you don't hurt yourself again."

"That's really not necessary, I'm fine." Sharpay lied

"Sell that story to someone who's buying." Troy scoffed

"What do you want me to say?" Sharpay shouted jumping off the bed, she wished he would just leave her alone, "That I'm dying? That every day I have to live with this guilt is killing me? That I wish to god I had to guts to just end it all? Why are you doing this to me? Just tell me what you want."

"You just did what I want." Troy said

"What?" Sharpay asked breathing heavily

"You told me what you were really feeling, you didn't lie and you didn't pretend. Its OK to admit that you need help." Troy told her softly

"I don't want to need anything." Sharpay spat, "Why can't you just leave me alone?" She asked softly

"I don't know." Troy said honestly, he ran a hand through his hair, "When I drove you home that one day after I found you sitting outside it almost broke my heart. I mean, you're Sharpay Evans, the Ice Queen, you've never needed anyone a day in your life and now this girl that I always thought of as unbreakable was falling to pieces right before my eyes. I knew that you would never ask for help and after the play I knew you needed someone."

"So you've appointed your self my hero?" Sharpay asked sarcastically

"Something like that." Troy said, "Let's put it this way, you've had 2 months to ask for help yourself but you didn't so I volunteered and your stuck with me."

"Fine, but we're not going to have any Oprah cry moments." Sharpay said

"Deal." Troy had stuck out his hand to shake hers when he noticed the blood soaking through the sleeve of her shirt, "What the hell!" He yanked her sleeve up; some of her cuts had reopened and were bleeding along with some fresh ones. "Sharpay, you promised."

"I lied OK." Sharpay tried to pull away from him but he held her arms tight as he dragged her into the bathroom.

"Do you have a first aid kit?" Troy asked literally lifting her up onto the counter next to the sink.

Sharpay sighed resolved to the fact that Troy wasn't going to leave her alone, "Its under the sink."

Troy busied himself getting out the kit and readying the bandages and antiseptic. "This is going to sting."

"I doubt it." Sharpay said, "I can't feel anything anymore."

"Why do you say that?" Troy asked. He wiped her cuts clean and waited for her to wince but Sharpay's face remained the same.

"See." She said, "Nothing."

"Tell me why you said that." Troy persisted

"Because I'm numb, gone, Sharpay has left the building." She quipped.

"Don't joke, it's not funny." Troy said

"Oh but it is, it's a riot." Sharpay laughed hauntingly, "Don't you think I know what people are saying? Sharpay Evans finally got what was coming to her. They think I deserved to have my mother die. They think I deserve to have listen to her die over and over again."

"People aren't saying that." Troy reassured her, "What do you mean listen?"

"Oh yeah didn't you know?" Sharpay looked at him with unseeing eyes, "She called my cell while she was driving and left me a message, telling me that she knows how important this was to me and how she's on her way and then she screams, there's a crash, I can hear the metal closing in around her. I hear her moan and finally the siren's come closer. I can hear them working to get her out of the car. I heard them say she's going to die. Then she says, 'My daughter wants me to hear her audition, I have to get to school'. Then the phone goes dead. End of voicemail. So you see, not only do I know she died because of me I heard her die because of me."

Troy finished putting the bandages on her arms unsure of what to say. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and cupped her face in his hands, "I'm really no good at this stuff. I wish like hell that you had never gotten that voice mail."

"Yeah." Sharpay cleared her throat all the energy seemed to drain out of her; "I want to go to bed now."

"OK." Troy led her over to her bed and pulled back the covers. After she climbed in her tucked the covers in around her and kissed her forehead softly.

She looked up at him, clearly fighting to stay away, "You know Troy Bolton, you're a pretty good guy."

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