Well here's another of my attempts to write something, so I hope that people will actually read it this time. If I get a lot of reviewers I will continue it; work must be rewarded with criticism good or bad after all, otherwise I'm just writing it for myself. Some of you might not like my style of writing; I like to jump around a lot (figuratively speaking) in this chapter, but it helps portray the feelings of my character, which just happens to be Reno, the little red-haired fiend.

So no one gets confused, this takes place after the Advent Children movie, so there just might be spoilers within it. I'm fairly sure I didn't reveal too much about it. Anyway, every story has one of these...yup...you guessed it, DISCLAIMERS! You got them! Right here! The song represented before the title is "Scars" by Papa Roach, the one at the end is "Sugar We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy. I don't own Final Fantasy 7, Final Fantasy Advent Children, or the characters represented within them.

My scars remind me that the past is real…I tear my heart open just to feel—"Scars" Papa Roach: Getting Away with Murder

Cold

Make the pain go away…

What is this gathering on my fingertips?

R…Rude?

Where are you?

Why do I…why do I feel so…cold?

Elena…Tseng…what…oh my god…what happened?

………………………………………………………………

3 Weeks Ago

"It starts around here and…"

SNORT

"And…Reno! Reno! Wake up!"

"H-huh! What!"

"You were asleep…listen, I'm not going to put up with your shit for much longer! Now keep your eyes open, or, god forbid, I'll keep them open myself!"

"Easy, boss, stay cool, there's no need to fly off the handle."

"Stay cool…humph…spoken like a true loser."

What was the point of me staying awake? I mean it wasn't as if the boss had anything important to say. We never broke from the usual routine. Rufus would give us a briefing, we'd gather our things and board the helicopters, and the whole trip would end up being just one big waste of time. I mean, it's not like we ever found anything, you know?

Eh, for you to understand what I'm talking about, I suppose I'd have to go even further back right? Well, ever since Cloud Strife and his friends defeated Yazoo, Kadaj, and Loz…reports of strange occurrences had been popping up. Like just a few days ago, a family had been shred to bloody pieces by a monster which strangely resembled a wraith. It had first torn open the husband, feasting on the poor man's innards bit by bit, as if to torture him, and then the creature moved onto the other family members…I had gagged when I saw it. Such a monstrosity should not be allowed to exist in the world.

Now that you've been properly filled in, you should know what our mission is…we are to find the cause of these appearances. So far, we'd received no help from the Ex-soldier or his buddies; we were pretty much on our own.

"Just outside of Midgar there will be a caravan which will be used to lure out the monsters. It contains the Lifestream substance that appeared in the church of the slums, and our researchers assure us that it will attract the fiends responsible for plaguing our city…" Rufus began as he straightened his tie, his eyes examining each of us carefully to see if we were still listening, "That is where you all come in…Reno, Rude! You two will scout ahead of the truck and make sure it has a clear escape route if things get out of hand; we may be using this Lifestream substance to get the monsters to come out, but we can't allow them to get their hands on it. Tseng, Elena! You will be the ones driving the car…you are all to keep constant radio contact to make sure this job goes smoothly. Understood?"

"Let's just get going, yo; I'm tired of waiting." I interrupted, an over-exerted yawn escaping my lips.

"Well, since you're so eager to start this mission, you will be the one in charge of filing the reports when this is all finished."

"S-say what! You…you bast…"

"Reno…hold your tongue…"

"What'd you say, Tseng! You want to start something!"

I felt Rude's hand upon my shoulder as he tried to calm me down, "Easy, buddy…"

"Yeah, yeah…but for the record, he started it, yo."

"You all know your missions, so get going already! Dismissed!" the voice of our boss rang loudly, I rubbed the backs of my ears tenderly afterwards. Rude and I both got up from our chairs as we turned to leave; my partner was carefully dusting off his bluish sleeves with a simple flick of the wrist.

I watched as Tseng nonchalantly left the room, Elena sticking to his heels like a lost puppy as always. Don't get me wrong, Tseng wasn't such a bad guy…but he was so…so serious all the time, it pissed me off. But he wasn't really the reason for my horrible mood; in fact, I usually wouldn't have gotten into an argument with him like the one in the meeting. Rude wouldn't be able to handle the news…or maybe he would, it was always so hard to tell with him, but I kept it from him anyway. I certainly wouldn't want him to know that Shinra Company planned to have me…

"Reno, you coming…?"

"Uh, yeah Rude, just give me a second."

"Okay…"

"I won't make you wait too long, so don't worry about it."

"Worry about something like that…never…"

I dropped my gaze at that very moment; maybe it was guilt, maybe it was fear, I don't know. Rude seemed to recognize it for a moment, and then went along with his business as if nothing had happened. A hand went up to rub my chin, and a bit of stubble scratched against my fingertips; how long had it been since I'd given myself a shave? Could have been days, months, even years for all I knew. No I told myself, I'm fairly sure it hadn't been years. After all, I'd found out what Shinra was going to do to me only about three months ago.

At that thought, my eyes glazed over and I stared with a strange sort of dullness at the doorway leading me to Rude's position. Suddenly, a flashback overtook me and I was somewhere else. My lungs were filling with oxygen chilled by winter air…winter air…where the hell had I experienced air like this before? Then I remembered the crater, the place where all my fearful memories originated from. Tseng and Elena had nearly been lost to us forever, and the image of Jenova's head still haunted me in my sleeping hours like an ominous shroud.

"Reno! Go, go! We can't let them get the head!"

"But Tseng, I can't let them get you and…"

"JUST GO!"

My body followed these familiar images against my will. The horror…a bullet whizzed just past Elena's head, only to lodge itself in Tseng's arm. His scream of pain was unparalleled by anything I'd ever experienced before; it caused instant panic to fill my heart. I boarded the helicopter just in time to hear another shot ricochet off of one of the steel handles beside the entrance into the helicopter and burned my hand as it flew by with great intensity; I remember the aching it caused for many days later.

Tears were flowing freely from my eyes when I took off into the snowy sky. I was crying for Tseng, I was crying for Elena, I was crying for Shinra, I was crying for the Ex-soldier bastard and his buddies, I was crying for Rude…but most of all I was crying for myself. I bawled like a baby, nearly crashing into a mountaintop in the process; how could something go so horribly wrong? We'd been sent to get the body of Jenova…not fight some hellish spawn of Sephiroth! And now Elena and Tseng…oh god…oh god, oh god…oh my god…

"Reno? You okay?" a voice questioned, bringing me instantly back to the here and now, namely facing the doorway leading to where Rude was still waiting for me.

My eyes regained their usual life and landed on the face of the boss. "Sir…I'm fine." My usual "yo" was unspoken this time, I was still taken aback by the sudden flashback I'd just had. Why would I remember such a thing at such a time? Perhaps it had to do with Shinra's plans for me…all the horror…if they did what they were going to do, was any of it worth it? I'd rather have died back then instead of letting Tseng and Elena get captured.

Rufus examined me cautiously one last time, as if he expected me to feint at any moment—my face must've looked pale as hell—before he finally left to do whatever business needed doing.

The doorway felt icy cold as one of my hands helped me through it, reminding me again of the chaotic crater foreboding in and of itself…going back there would mean the devastation of my sanity. Dark corners had seemed as if something would leap out at you from them at any moment. I put on a smile for my partner Rude as I exited out into the hall; as usual he cocked his head towards me without a word escaping his lips.

There was a strange tenseness within me as we traveled down the long corridor which seemed to get longer every second. I could still feel Rude's unwavering gaze upon me, so I played the role of good old Reno, "This job sounds like a real bitch, yo. I can't believe we ever got stuck with this cruddy assignment; what do we hope to solve anyway?"

A grunt reached my ears; was he really clueless, or was he was just toying with me like a child plays with his or her favorite plaything? I was becoming paranoid, more so than I'd ever been before. Rude was my partner in almost any job Shinra handed to us; we were together or we worked solo, we gave them no other options. If I couldn't trust him then who could I trust?

"Did you hear me, yo? I asked…"

"I heard you…but think about it…has Shinra ever told us more than what we absolutely need to know…?"

"No…" That was it, plain and simple. As always, he spoke the truth, a dark truth maybe, but a truth all the same. We were the Turks! We were supposed to know the ins and outs of everything that went on in Shinra Company, yet we were as clueless as newborn animals with our eyes sealed shut.

The both of us entered an elevator and I saw Rude fixing his sleeves yet again; the second time today since the meeting. He stopped only long enough to push the button that would lead us downward.

My head bowed forward as I recalled the flashback of only a few minutes ago; it was my own personal hell.

"Reno…what's up…you've acted strange since the meeting…"

"Shinra, Rude…Shinra wants to…" My mouth was having troubles forming the words they so desperately wanted to hide.

"They want to what?" His eyes took on a sort of interest I rarely saw in them.

"…They want to murder me, yo…"

I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear cuz that's just who I am this week—"Sugar We're Going Down" Fall Out Boy: Sugar, We're Going Down

Well, that was basically it, so...yeah. I'm not sure when I'll get the next addition up, but I'll be sure to do my best on it. Well, review and all that good stuff; I'd really like some comments. This is my fourth attempt at a writing. Two of my others died of non-reviewing, so don't let this one end up the same way.