Oh Geez. I think I just went on the best shopping spree ever! School starts tomorrow, so here is the third update, like I promised.
Chapter 8
It was the first nightmare I'd had in a month. I had been so tired most of the time that my brain had stopped creating situations for me to fulfill while I was sleeping, but now that I was catching up on sleep, it seemed that my imagination had come back to haunt me. I wondered though, why now?
Harry looked at me from across the room. At first confused, then questioningly. He hadn't said anything yet, and neither had I. We sat there for five minutes in an awkward silence, examining each other. He broke the silence.
"Why are you crying?" he whispered. I turned my face away. Tears had been running down my cheeks this whole time, and I hadn't even noticed.
"I'm sorry I woke you up. I'll leave…" I turned to pick up my pillow and stood up a little too quickly. Embarrassment filled me like a glass. Sun peeked through the windows on the far side of the room and ran across the floor. It must have been close to six o'clock in the morning.
"You don't have to leave," he said. "I was just wondering." He turned his attention to the windows. "Where's Ron?" he asked.
It was then that I realized how suspicious this must look. "In my room. Listen, Harry, we traded for the night. It was no biggie, he just wanted—I told him I would sleep here, because you—well you tend to yell at night sometimes." I looked to the door. "I'll go now if you'd like. I'm sorry." I walked to the door and went to the turn the knob.
"Wait. Beth get back in bed and go to sleep. It's almost morning anyways. There," he sighed, "There isn't any point in waking anyone up."
I turned to look at him. "You're not mad?" He shook his head.
I tiptoed back to Ron's bed and placed my pillow on it gently. I couldn't see any other solution to the problem. It seemed pointless to fight his will. I sat down and looked at Harry before lying down and facing the wall again. I pulled the comforter tightly around my body- and over my hideously disfigured face. I sniffed.
"Beth… what do you dream about?" I continued to face the wall and feigned sleeping. He repeated the question, a little more sternly this time. He sounded more like a teacher than a nineteen year old.
I continued to face the wall. "You tell me first," I said. There was a silence.
"Death. My friend's death. Death of my parents, and Voldemort's death. How they're all connected. What my death might be like. Pain… different memories." He rushed through his answer and I heard the mattress squeak as he lay down. "Alright," he said. "Your turn."
I hesitated before speaking. "I dream—I dream about a man, my Father maybe. I dream about," I stopped and burrowed my face into my covers so that my voice was muffled. "I dream about my face being back to normal, and I dream about faceless people. They're mean and then I do things wrong. I can't be right. It hurts." The last part didn't make sense.
"You didn't do anything wrong," said Harry.
"But I did!" I protested. "I can never do stuff— I never could and I was such a bad person…" I trailed off, my head pounding.
The mattress springs from across the room squeaked again, and I pulled the comforter tighter around my head. A small patter of feet on the floor, and then a weight beside me—I pulled the blanket tighter still.
"I made mistakes Beth, not you. I killed people." A hand was rubbing circles on my back now, and it was as if he was having a competition with me. "Who are you Beth? Why are you so sad?"
I pulled my knees up to my chest and ignored the question. My body was sore, and my face throbbed. There were more squeaks from my mattress and an arm snaked its way around my waist. I loosened up a little bit and leaned into the warmth of another person. He allowed me to lean on him, and it was comforting to know someone solid was there. It was funny how sometimes you just fit.
He pulled the blanket off my head, and I let him. The ugly side of my face was upwards and I knew he was gawking at it. I let myself cry some more before I finally closed my eyes and went to sleep.
§
When I woke up Harry was gone.
The sunlight poured through the windows, and I assumed it to be around ten. Remus and I were going out for a wand that day, so I quickly scrambled back to my room where I found my bed nicely made. I pulled on a pair of Ginny's old jeans, and her old black sweater, which I had come to love. I left my hair down since today we were going out. I combed it in a way that it covered part of my face, and if I kept my head down, people might not notice.
At breakfast everyone was acting normal and no one seemed aware of my midnight rendezvous.
"Did you have a nice lie-in dear?" asked Molly. Her purple robe was extremely clean for everything she seemed to do in the mornings. "Ron said that when he walked by your room you had still been sleeping so he closed it and said to let you be."
"That was nice, thanks Ron," I said politely and when Molly turned her back he gave me a sly smile and a wink, and then continued cutting his eggs.
"Now Remus is already up Beth, but he told me to tell you to be ready for eleven o'clock and then you're going to floo down to Diagon Alley." She looked over me. "Are you alright dear, your eyes seem a bit puffy."
"I'm fine Mrs. Weasley. Famished though," I changed the subject to distract her, knowingly aware of her obsession to fatten people up. She immediately hoped to, and grabbed me a plate full of kippers and eggs, beaming at my appetite. As I began to eat Hermione and Ginny bounded into the room, looking altogether quite content with themselves.
"Morning all," said Ginny, grabbing apiece of toast and stuffing it into her mouth. "Mum, can Hermione and I go to Diagon Alley too?"
"Well, I suppose if you ask Remus…"
"Excellent. We'll be gone the day then," said Ginny with a grin. She looked at me and gave me a wink. I smiled back, unsure of her plot. I couldn't tell if she was teasing, or if there was a genuine plan behind her eyes.
"Have any of you seen Harry this morning?" asked Mrs. Weasley. We all shook our heads. "Oh, well you should check for him. I haven't seen him all morning, you said he was still in bed when you got up Ron?"
Ron nodded and chewed thoughtfully. "Yes, it wasn't a good night last night." It was then that I wondered if Ron had walked in on Harry and I. He was just being friendly I supposed, but it would still be an uncomfortable situation to explain.
I finished my breakfast and excused myself. Ron followed closely.
"I don't suppose you saw Harry this morning did you? When I went into our room to wake you up, he was gone, so I'm wondering if he's angry and took off somewhere." He looked anxiously around him.
"No. When I woke up he wasn't there… but Ron, he's not mad. I woke him up last night by accident…" Ron's face dropped. "But he wasn't angry. It was just he was yelling and stuff in his sleep…"
"Oh. Howling was more like it," said Ron. "It sounded like a shrieking banshee, and all the way into morning too. But thank you Beth, I slept way better than I would have."
I coughed into my sleeve. You could just call me the shrieking banshee. "Well, I'm just going to go get ready. If I see him, I'll let him know."
I made my way up the two flights of stairs and wandered into my room. I really didn't have much to do, then Ginny and Hermione came bounding in.
"We're getting money!" exclaimed Hermione excitedly. Ginny thrust the Daily Prophet at me, her face jubilant.
" Reimbursed For Their Pains
SURVIVORS RECEIVE MONTHLY PENSIONRufus Scrimgeour announced this morning that survivors of the battle against evil will be receiving a monthly income to reimburse them for their efforts and pains.
"The ministry has been looking at this topic for a while now, and I came to the decision last night that it was a necessity," Scrimgeour said. "Our lives would have not existed if it wasn't for these people who worked so hard. The obvious candidates have already been given an account in Gringott's—that is those who were in St. Mungo's and were registered as being injured underneath the war's name."
To read if you are a legible candidate, turn to page B7."
"After you get your wand, we're going to ditch Remus, and go shopping!" said Ginny as I looked up from the paper.
"How much money do we get?" I asked.
Ginny shrugged. "But it's bound to be loads right? I mean how many of us truly survived and went to that hospital. Almost everyone in this house! It's brilliant!"
Her attitude seemed to have totally changed as she bounced around the room. Hermione nodded. But I had another problem.
"How am I supposed to access my account if I don't know my last name?"
Hermione looked at me. "Well they didn't either right? So if you explain to them the situation they'll probably do a magical scan or something. Security is super tight with people nicking stuff because they lost everything."
"And besides, it's bound to be a load of money, so until you get your memory back, we can pay for it. Quite frankly, I don't care. I just need some new robes and what not, and my hair is looking a little stringy. But I think I'll go to a muggle place for that. We should all go!"
Hermione looked at me. "So are you in?"
Maybe shopping could bring people together, Ginny sure seemed a lot less tense towards me. I grinned. "Of course!"