CHAPTER 10

The morning had not gone well. She first went home and her father along with Chad's parents and Troy's mom were all in the kitchen when she walked in. Her father had hugged her and then screamed at her. He yelled for what felt like hours and the disappointed looks on the face of her friend's parents were pure torture. Finally, he sent her to school. It was weird, he just like stopped yelling all of a sudden and sent her to school.

So here she was pushing open the doors to East High. Sure her hair was brown now but the crowd in the hallway parted like the red sea when she walked through. She pushed her sunglasses on top of her head and a collective gasp went up as she was recognized. Sharpay stared straight ahead as the whispers started buzzing behind her as she walked determinedly toward the office.

She registered for her senior classes and was given information about senior yearbook pictures. Sharpay was already tired of the looks people were giving her. So far she hadn't seen any of her friends. She headed toward the cafeteria to get a bottle of water before she needed to be in her English class.

The cafeteria was buzzing, but it was obvious that the students in there hadn't heard she was back yet because their astonished looks were priceless. This was mostly the senior and junior only lunchtime and it was mostly all the people she had grown up with.

She grabbed a bottle of water and paid for it. As she made her way down the stairs trying to get to the exit she left silence in her wake. The entire cafeteria was silent by the time she reached the bottom of the stairs. She walked forward; not looking left or right. She refused to meet the hateful gazes of those staring at her.

Ryan and the gang were all sitting at their usual table when Brad looked around, "Why did it just get quiet?"

"I don't know. " Kevin said

At the same time as Gabbi whispered, "Oh my god." She was looking up to the stairs.

They all swiveled in their seats and their expressions were ones of shock. Finally after weeks of not knowing, Sharpay was back. Even with her brown hair she was clearly recognized.

"Sharpay!" Ryan shouted at his twin and ran to her. He pulled her into a fierce hug before pushing her away, "What the hell is wrong with you?" he shouted

"Ryan please." Sharpay pleaded softly

"Please nothing!" Ryan continued to shout, he had never been so angry in his life; "We deserve a god-damn answer."

The rest of her friends came closer to her, all of them glaring. She glanced at all of them, not a single friendly face. Not even Gabbi or Kelsey.

"I just needed some time to myself." Sharpay explained quietly

"We thought you were dead." Troy burst out unable to control himself, "You leave me a note that says in case I don't see you again. After everything we had, how could you do that to me?"

"I didn't do anything to anyone!" Sharpay shouted, "I needed this for me, just a break you know. It was so hard to deal with everything alone."

"You didn't have to be alone!" Troy shouted at her ignoring the way everyone was looking at them, "We were here every god damn day. We had to sit by and watch as little by little you self destructed then it finally seems like things are getting better but no you go missing. Then you think you can just show up one day and act like nothing's wrong. Dream on Ice Queen."

Sharpay froze, her plan to fight back flew out the window the second he uttered those dreaded words. She looked around to the faces of her so-called friends; none of them were jumping to her rescue, not even her own twin. "Is that how you all feel?" She asked an odd calm coming over her.

When none of them answered she nodded, "Fine." She walked out of the cafeteria and was halfway to the exit of the school when she stopped. They wouldn't defeat her; she can take care of herself.

But it was easier said than done. It was the world's biggest freeze-out and Sharpay was the target. The only two people who were talking to her were her father and her doctor. Ryan, Troy, Chad, Brad, Kevin, Gabbi, Taylor, Kelsey and pretty much the entire school were giving her the silent treatment. Even her teachers rarely spoke to her unless necessary, they all seemed to think she was a horrible person for "pretending" to be missing.

At least her dad had listened to her reasons and even if he was mad at what she had done he was trying to accept it. He still traveled a lot so more often than not it was just her and Ryan in the mansion. And since Ryan refused to talk to her despite her many attempts to apologize she was usually alone in her room.

She missed her condo at the beach. The ocean had such a calming effect on her. She even missed working. Charlie was a great boss and all her co-workers were so nice. Honestly, she just missed being Savs. Savs had been everything Sharpay wasn't. Kind, honest, reliable, hard working, intelligent. Savs had it all. What she wouldn't give to be back there. Savs was a fresh start; no one knew her past and she could make a new future. The months she spent in California were the greatest ones in a long time. She hardly even thought about her mom, her "problem", or singing. She missed who she got to be without everyone's expectations.

The days went by and with no signs of anyone forgiving her Sharpay began to get very depressed. She tried her best to look presentable and to keep up her Ice Queen appearance but her heart just wasn't in it anymore. She left her hair brown; she wasn't the same anymore so her hair shouldn't be either. She sat alone outside at lunch. And really, she didn't talk to anyone at all during the school day. She thought that most people would have forgotten by now but it seemed that they were following the lead of her "friends", who still refused to talk to her.

She tried talking to them, all the time. She tried to make them understand but to no avail. Sharpay was getting desperate, she felt worthless. She really hadn't meant to hurt anyone it was just something she had to do.

Sleep was evading her, and had been for the past 2 weeks. She lay awake at night staring at the ceiling, tears threatening to fall but never do. She lived her life in a trance, occasionally remembering to eat, never sleeping. She wandered through the house memorizing every detail. Watching hour after hour of home movies, staring at countless pictures. Since she couldn't fall asleep the nightmares made appearances during the day. More than once she had broke out in a cold sweat and her breathing had accelerated during the day. The panic overtaking her until she could make it to the bathroom and breathe into a paper bag. She stopped taking her medication, at first she just forgot but then it became a conscious effort to not take it. Nothing could help her now anyway.

It was perfect, everyone would be at the pep rally and by the time anyone found her it would be to late.

Had she been in a normal state of mind this would never even be a possibility.

In her normal state of mind she would have recognized that her brother and her friends were more hurt than angry and that they probably just needed time.

But she wasn't in a normal state of mind.

The afternoon of the pep rally the students filed into the gym. The East High Wildcat Basketball team was about to start their season and was hoping to win the championship again.

She slipped into the bathroom as if watching herself in a movie. She checked under all the stalls to make sure no one was there. She was alone. She listened at the door for the sound of a herd of students to quite. When all she heard was the distant cheers from the gym she walked over to the mirror. Her purse was on the sink. She pulled out a prescription bottle and emptied it into her hand. She swallowed a couple small handfuls at a time until she had taken them all. And just to be sure there were no mistakes she pulled out a small pocketknife she had taken from Ryan's room.

The cuts made on her wrists were slow and deliberate. The blood came pouring out, the knife clattered to the floor. She gripped the sink before falling to the ground unconscious and bleeding.

Had she been in a normal state of mind this would never even be a possibility.

But she wasn't in a normal state of mind.

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