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CHAPTER 12

The waiting room was silent; there was no talking or even moving. Shock was the mutual feeling extending through all the people in the room. Ryan had been taken back to see Sharpay a few minutes ago but he hadn't come out yet. No one really knew what to say to each other. Sharpay had tried to kill herself, her mother actually did kill herself. It just didn't make any sense. Sure Sharpay was the Ice Queen but this was just really too much.

Ryan and Sharpay sat in uncomfortable silence.

"Why did you do it Shar?" Ryan asked

"I just wanted it to stop." Sharpay said quietly not looking at him, "The pain was just always there. I was becoming like her and there wasn't anything that I could do to stop it."

"Why couldn't you just talk to me? You're my best friend, my twin. I should have been able to help you!" Ryan yelled

"Its my fight." Sharpay said

"But it should have been our fight. You are nothing like mom Shar. She was weak, you aren't." Ryan said

Sharpay let the tears she had been holding back fall.

"You listen to me Sharpay. You are the strongest person I've ever met in my entire life. When you do something you do it right. Your passion is what makes you strong. Don't let what mom did affect you." Ryan said grabbing her hand.

Sharpay pulled Ryan up to her and wrapped her arms around him, sobbing. Brother and sister sat holding each other for several minutes before the door opened and the psychologist walked in.

"I'm sorry Mr. Evans I need to speak with your sister alone for a few moments."

"Sure." Ryan kissed Sharpay's cheek and walked out of the room.

Ryan walked back to the waiting room. Everyone looked up questioningly as he walked in. He smiled, "I really think she's going to be OK."

It was nearly midnight that evening and most everyone had already left. Ryan and Greg had just left a few moments before leaving Troy alone in the waiting room. He had been debating for the past hour whether he wanted to go talk to Sharpay or not. Finally, he knew he couldn't put it off anymore.

He pushed open the door to her room and moved to sit in the chair next to her bed. Sharpay watched as he sat down. "I thought you would have left already."

"I needed to talk to you." Troy said quietly scooting the chair closer to the bed.

"Tonight?" She asked

"Yeah, its important." Troy sighed, "The night before you were supposed to leave for Olson when you came to my house…" He trailed off.

"Yeah?" Sharpay prompted

"Why did you leave? I thought you were going to stay the night after--…" Troy broke off.

Sharpay sighed, "You called me your girlfriend."

"I did?" Troy said thinking back.

"Yeah, you said 'It will be nice to show my girlfriend off to LA'. I mean god Troy we weren't even dating. It freaked me out. I always end up hurting people and I didn't want that to happen to you." Sharpay said

"You never even gave us a chance." Troy said

"You scared me Troy." Sharpay said honestly, "You just knew me so well and were always so nice to me. No one has ever cared to look beyond what they think is me and you did."

"Well yeah. I kinda liked you." Troy smiled

"Liked?" Sharpay asked

"Like." Troy said

Sharpay sighed again, "Well I kinda like you too."

Troy leaned in to kiss her when Sharpay started to talk again, "But…"

"I hate the buts."

"I need some time alone right now to figure some things out." Sharpay said, "Is that OK?"

"Of course its OK." Troy smiled at her, "How much time?"

"I don't know but believe me when the time is right you'll know." Sharpay smiled

"All right get some sleep." Troy kissed her cheek and left the room.

Sharpay sat in the bed for a long time staring out the window. How did it get this bad? Never in a million years had she thought she would be capable of something like this. The deception was a little much, even for the ice queen. She would need to make it up to everyone, but how?

"You can make it up to them by getting better." Dr. Mason, the psychologist said walking in to the room.

"It's a little late to be making room calls." Sharpay retorted

"Well I have to say you're an exception." Dr. Mason replied, "I've been in my office since our last chat and I've just been thinking and you're definitely one of my more complicated patients."

"So what else is new?" Sharpay said sarcastically

"But as I was saying. You can make it up to your friends by just getting better and going back to normal." She said

"How'd you know that's what I was thinking about?" Sharpay asked

"The look on your face. And, also what we talked about earlier. I know you feel guilty but the guilt just makes you go back to a darker place and that's not good. You have to stay positive." Dr. Mason said, "I know that a lot of times it'll be easier to just keep your feelings inside but especially at this point of your recovery its crucial that you talk to someone and tell them what you're feeling."

"I feel like if I talk with someone it'll be like handing them ammunition to use against me later." Sharpay explained

"That's not an uncommon feeling but I've met your brother and your friends. I don't think that's something you need to worry about with them." Dr. Mason said reassuringly

"I don't like feeling weak. Its like by admitting that I need help its like saying that I can't handle it and that's a weird place for me. I'm the Ice Queen, I don't back down and I'm not afraid of anything." Sharpay explained

"Are you really the Ice Queen or is that a mask you hide behind so you don't have to show people who you really are?" Dr. Mason challenged

Sharpay didn't know what to say.

"You think about that and I'll come back after you've had a decent night's sleep." Dr. Mason said

Sharpay laid back in the bed. She stared out the window for a while before finally drifting off to sleep. Insanity was a weird place to be and she hoped that she never had to go back.

Sharpay's first day back at school came nearly 3 weeks after the "incident". She walked through the halls and tried really hard to ignore the stares and the whispering that was going on around her.

"Sharpay!"

She stiffened automatically but relaxed when Ryan wrapped his arm around her shoulder and guided her away from the whispers.

"Don't let them get to you, OK?" Ryan said

"I feel like everyone knows." She whispered

"Shar, everyone knows you tried to, you know." He started, not able to say commit suicide.

"Yeah." Sharpay said

"Well they know that. But they don't know the situation." Ryan explained

"I just wish everyone would forget about it." Sharpay whispered clearly distressed.

"Give it time." Gabbi said walking up to the twins, "Its almost Christmas break and by the time we come back to school people will have forgotten all about it."

"Ya think?" Sharpay questioned opening her locker to retrieve some books.

"Absolutely." Chad jumped in, slamming his own locker, which is right next to Sharpay's, shut; "Remember Shery's botched nose job, by the time we got back from break everyone had already forgot about it."

"I guess your right." Sharpay sighed.

"Of course I'm right." Chad smiled, "Now come on, we have English."

Sharpay and Chad walked off leaving Gabbi and Ryan standing at the lockers.

"How are you, honestly?" Gabbi asked

"Honestly? I'm not so sure." Ryan sighed, "Everything has been so tense lately. I'm up all night running back and forth to Sharpay's to make sure she'll still there."

"That's tough but at least she's getting better and not worse." Gabbi said

"Yeah, but she's so different now. So quiet and reserved, so unlike Sharpay." Ryan shrugged, "Anyway we better get to Darbus's class."

For Christmas that year Greg Evans decided to take the family back to their condo in Hawaii and it was very different from the last time they were there. Unlike last time they weren't grieving and it was actually very good for Sharpay's recovery. Both her father and brother noticed a change in her and decided it was definitely for the better. The family spent the New Year taking surfing lessons and hanging out on the beach. Sharpay couldn't remember the last time she had smiled so much or had this much fun.

But all good things must come to an end and before she knew it, it was time to go back to school. The night before school began Sharpay was standing in her closet trying to figure out what to wear when Ryan walked in.

Ryan watched his sister for a minute. Her brow was furrowed in concentration and she pulled out numerous outfit selections. For the past two days Sharpay had smiled less and less and seemed to grow more tense with each passing hour. Ryan knew that she was just very nervous about going back to school but it still scared him a little.

They all sat in Darbus's homeroom the next morning talking quietly waiting for her to being the announcements.

"Attention!" Ms. Darbus called waiting till they fell silent before continuing, "As you all know auditions for the spring musicale will be held 2 weeks from today in the auditorium. You may audition in either singles or partners. I will inform you after the auditions what the show will be. The show depends on the actors. And secondly, instead of a second spring musicale we will be hosting a talent show of sorts. It is only for the seniors and the winning two will perform at graduation. That is all, you may go to your first lesson."

The school was buzzing with talk about the surprise musical and the talent show. Never had Darbus given up her second spring musicale.

The whole group minus Sharpay sat in the cafeteria that afternoon discussing what the play might be.

"It could be anything, you never know with Darbus." Ryan said with Kelsey nodding her head vigorously.

"Are you trying out?" Kevin asked Gabbi

"I don't know. Are you Troy?" She asked

"Probably not, but you should Gabs." Troy said encouragingly

"Yeah, especially since we can safely assume that Sharpay isn't going to audition." Brad said looking to Ryan for confirmation

"I'm not sure to be honest. She hasn't said anything about it." Ryan shrugged, "But it's literally been almost a year since she sang last so I really just don't know."

Finally, it was the day of the auditions and after much persuasion Ryan and Gabbi had convinced Sharpay to come and listen to them sing their duet.

Sharpay was very reluctant. Sure she was getting better but she was nowhere near ready to sing yet, was she? She settled into a seat next to Taylor who had decided to come and watch.

The singles auditions took longer that usual since Darbus made everyone sing their piece twice through and then she made them sing a "surprise piece". It sounded to Sharpay like one song from every musical she had ever produced.

"Poor Kelsey." Taylor whispered to Sharpay, "It must suck having to pay all of those."

"Are you kidding?" Sharpay joked, "She's in heaven. She loves the chance to show off a little."

Chad, Brad and Kevin walked in a moment later showing that basketball practice was over.

"Where's Troy?" Taylor asked as the three sat down with the girls.

"Don't know." Kevin said

"He left before we did." Chad said

Sharpay's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "He's up to something."

"Shhh." Taylor whispered, "Gabbi and Ryan are about to go."

Sharpay smiled slightly as she listened to her brother and Gabbi sing. She felt a pang in her heart. She missed singing, she really did. But it had been so long and it held such painful memories. She just didn't know if she had it in her.

But she was about to find out.

Four more partner auditioned before Darbus made the last call, "Any more pairs? Speak now or forever hold you peace."

"I'd like to audition Ms. Darbus." Troy said walking out on stage.

"Mr. Bolton, how many times must we go through this. Single auditions are over. You must have a partner to audition right now." Darbus said firmly

"I know Ms. Darbus, I'd like to sing with Sharpay." Troy said meeting Sharpay's eye in the audience.

"Really? Ms. Evans I had no idea you were going to audition." Darbus said clearly thrilled at the prospect of having THE Sharpay Evans back in drama.

Ryan and Gabbi exchanged concerned looks.

Sharpay shook her heard fiercely, "I'm sorry Ms. Darbus. Troy is mistaken."

"No I'm not Sharpay." Troy said, "You said when I would know and I do."

Sharpay stood up and marched up on stage. When she got to where Troy was standing there was no smile left on her face, "No Troy. I mean it. I'm not ready."

"Come on Sharpay. I know you miss it. You can do it, it's just you and me." He handed her the microphone, "We're singing 'I can't take my Eyes off of you'."

The music started and Troy started to sing.

. "Ya never know what you're gonna feel, oh;

ya never see it comin suddenly its real."

Sharpay knew it was her turn…

FEEDBACK…I hope you enjoyed chapter 12…let me know what you think and how you might like this to play out!