"Why is it so hard to accept the party is over?"

-SZA, Drew Barrymore

The Cruelest Way To Break A Heart

The other nurses at Forks Local Hospital referred to Sue Clearwater as The Bull. Sure she was a friendly enough woman, if a little old-fashioned at times, but the woman was stubborn as a mule. The matriarch could be kind in her own way. She remembered her colleagues' birthdays, asked about their children and genuinely cared if a patient's arthritis still wasn't getting any better after they'd changed their medication.

But she was also… scary. There was no other word for it. Sue was the kind of nurse that made children cry. She was every doctor's secret weapon when faced with a difficult patient, and the kind of woman who shoved a needle into your skin with no empathy whatsoever if you flinched. If she'd chosen a more suitable career path in her chosen field, she probably would have been an orderly for a dangerous high-security prison facility and not a helper for the quiet, boring wards of Fork's Local Hospital.

But somehow, somehow, her daughter Leah was something worse.

How Harry Clearwater managed to smooth over the relationship between the two women with ease, sensitivity and finesse was anyone's guess. Leah Clearwater and her mother had arguments that could tear down walls and cause earthquakes and instigate hostilities between third world countries. Disagreements between the two rattled the C.I.A. and made the F.B.I. increase watch for homicides. And maybe, just maybe, even the president of the United States had considered signing a treaty with the two women in an effort to avoid civil war.

But no arguement was as fearsome as the one that happened when Sue Clearwater found out that Leah was about to forego college.

All because of a boy. That boy. Joshua Uley's son.

'And what are you gonna do with the rest of your life Leah?' Sue followed her daughter out of the upstairs bathroom and into the passage that led to her and Seth's bedrooms.

Leah raked her hands through her long, unruly hair as she turned towards her mother, barely noting the dark-haired boy caught like a deer in headlights. He knew the drill by now, he stayed close to the walls.

'I don't know mom.' Leah said. 'I'll figure it out. I just need some time, that's all.'

'Figure it-' Sue exhaled her frustration. 'You lost your chance at a scholarship Leah! And how could you only apply to one school?'

'It was part of the plan!' Leah yelled as she dove into her bedroom, and for a moment Sue could have sworn she'd seen something like tears threatening in her daughter's eyes. She'd only seen her daughter cry once -once - since she'd outgrown the habit as a child. And Sam Uley had been the cause of those tears as well.

Sue followed her daughter into the bedroom watched as her daughter dropped onto the bed, and raked her hands through her unruly hair. 'I didn't think about going anywhere else mom. I thought we were going to go to school together like you and dad went to school together, and I didn't apply for anywhere else because I didn't want to go anywhere else. I fucked up okay? Sam disappeared and my grades dropped and now my provisional acceptance to UW is kaput. But it's fine mom. Damage control, I'll just… I'll get a job for a year. Tons of kids take gap years.'

'Gap- Gap year!' Sue said as her heart exploded. 'Your father and I haven't been working ourselves to the bone saving money so you could take a gap year!' she screamed. 'Leah you told me you had applied more places!'

'I lied!' Leah shouted back before rolling her eyes. 'And I'm the first teenage girl in the whole wide world to lie to her parents!'

It's a good thing Harry Clearwater walked in right that moment because Sue had steam coming out of her ears and her eyes had gone black like she was possessed and she was probably about to yank her daughter by the arms and throw her out the double-story window.

'Suey! Leah Bear!' The man said happily as he strode into the bedroom, saving the day as he wrapped his arms around his wife, possibly preventing her from becoming America's next Ripper.

'Sue my love, I haven't had a thing to eat all day!' He soothed, 'How's about that Butterscotch chicken recipe. You know you're the only one who knows how to do it justice…'

'How's about Leah make dinner?' Sue barked, extricating herself from her husband's expert arms. 'She has a whole gap year to do nothing else after all. Oh, my mistake. She also has the time to ruin her future with Samuel Joshua Uley!'

Harry, Leah and Seth all listened as The Bull stomped her feet all the way down the stairs and out the house. They fliched when the door slammed. No doubt she was headed to Billy Black's place to yell all of her frustrations out. Harry turned back to his dejected-looking daughter before taking a seat next to her on the bed. Leah covered her eyes with her hand, and he could see her chest rising and falling with the effort of staving off her tears.

'Julie's going to UCLA.' Leah said. 'Psychology.'

'Good for her.' Harry nodded slowly.

'And Rach…' Leah continued. 'Rach turned down Yale because she can't afford it.'

Harry nodded at that too. 'Wow, that's amazing.'

'Pretty amazing right?' Leah repeated, and Harry could see the tears straying from underneath her palm. 'How did I mess up this badly dad?'

'You had a rough time Leah bear,' Harry said, his voice filling with concern. 'It was hard on you when Sam disappeared, it's still hard on you. You've gotta be kind to yourself. But you've also gotta learn from your mistakes.'

Harry Clearwater wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulders and rubbed her back when his daughter didn't drop her hand from her face. Leah wasn't much of a crier; she usually threw rocks or punched people or glared when things hurt her - and of course, once or twice she'd managed to make someone cry with her words.

Still she was soft-hearted if you took the time to understand her like he did. Maybe that's why she cried so freely when faced with the compassionate shelter of her father's arms.

She'd had this dream before. It wasn't a dream so much as it was a bad memory, but maybe the unconscious mind didn't care for such distinctions. Leah stretched her fingers across the sheets to find Sam's skin, skin she'd traced the night before like map, limbs she should have known like her own. She had known that body intimately since the year she'd turned sixteen after all.

'You know it's not very romantic if you burn the toast.' She said to an empty cabin. She hadn't known in was empty yet.

It wasn't until she coughed and flung her eyes open that she saw the black smoke that polluted the air. Coughing painfully and wrapped in bedsheets, Leah had run out the front door of the cabin, her mind too sleepy to make any real sense of what was happening.

'Sam?' she yelled frantically as she jumped of the already open door, her heart beating painfully in her chest and her throat burning, 'Sam?' Are you okay?

When he didn't respond Leah did not hesitate to run back into the cabin, her eyes quickly finding the culprit of all the smoke she'd inhaled. She dragged the handle of the pot off the stove, gasping in pain at the sound of a sizzle and the smell of burning flesh as heat seared across her palm. The pot tilted, its contents scattering across the floor, and Leah might have laughed if she'd been able to catch a breath. Who made popcorn for breakfast but Sam? The charred bits were like small black flowers scattered across the floor.

The need for air forced Leah back outside again, and this time she noticed the car and how it's front door was half-torn off its hinges and ajar. Dread settled in her stomach. That was moment she'd realized something was terribly, horribly wrong.

That was where the dream was supposed to end.

Instead she turned to the sound of thunder, finding a wild fox growling and hungry. Above it she could just make out that menacing yellow moon, a constant presence in all of her nightmares.

She had only a second to scream before the animal pounced and her head hit the hard ground, knocking all the breath out of her while a sharp throb lanced across the back of her skull. The animal's claws dragged into her skin, slashing into her face while blood ran down her body and seeped into grass. Leah could do nothing but scream, again and again, all the while knowing that the beast had already had its way with her boyfriend. She could smell Sam on the animal, Sam had already been its prey, and that was the scariest part.

'We need to invite Emily for a visit.'

Harry sighed as he turned his bedside lamp back on. Sue had barely said two words to him since her argument with their daughter days before. She'd barely said anything to anyone actually, an unhealthy habit in his opinion, but not nearly as unhealthy as Leah's habit of lashing out. The two most important women in his life were both too tough for their own good. It was a good thing Seth had inherited his patience.

'This behavior isn't healthy Harry. And I don't trust that boy.'

'There may be things you do not understand, my love.'

'Like what?' Sue snapped, planting her cheek onto her hand and staring into his dark eyes. Even with her ebony hair in a messy braid and her eyes puffy from long nights with no sleep, Sue Clearwater was the most beautiful woman he had ever known. He couldn't help but press a quick kiss to her lips before she could continue. He loved how she smiled at him softly too, before her eyes hardened again.

'I don't know Suey,' he lied, 'But that boys been through so much already. He loves Leah, anyone can see that.'

'He's a drug dealer. He's selling drugs.'

'That's an ugly rumor.'

'What else could it be?' Sue asked.

He didn't answer because he couldn't answer, even though he wished with all of his heart that he could. God knew it would help settle Leah's worries if he did. But Billy Black had already given the order, and Billy Black was the Tribal Chief, there was no going against his word. It didn't matter that Leah was distant and could barely pay attention to anything these days. It didn't matter that he'd overheard more than just a few arguments between her and Samuel. It didn't even matter that Sam was too good and too young for the massive responsibility that had been forced onto his shoulders. Nothing mattered except protecting the tribe's oldest secrets. It was the only way to keep his family safe.

'He doesn't love her Harry, he's using her, and she's throwing away her future to be with him. I'm calling Emily. If anyone can talk any sense into Leah, it's her cousin.'

Harry didn't argue with Sue that night, because maybe his wife was right. Maybe it was for the best that Emily visit from the Makah mountains and distract Leah from her troubles. Hw knew Sue's hope that Emily would be able to convince Leah to break up with the boy would be in vain, but perhaps Emily could reason with Leah to take some time apart from him. It would be best, Harry thought, if Sam didn't put Leah's life in danger so much by sneaking off to see her against the Council's warnings.

He'd watched her lose her mind when Sam disappeared. She'd lost weight, come home every night with her voice hoarse from her searches with the rangers, and even Chief Swan telling her that they'd found Sam's clothes shredded in a creek and were calling off the searches had done little to stop her from sneaking off into the woods alone to look for him. She'd been something like a ghost then, refusing to get out of bed on some days and screaming from terrible nightmares on others. She'd told him and Sue about them, horrible dreams things about moons and foxes and wolves.

Harry could never shake the belief that there was some correlation between Leah's dreams and the supernatural realm. Leah was aware, too sensitive, to the supernatural for his liking. It made being around Samuel too much of a risk.

'We'll call her tomorrow when I come back from work.' Harry turned of the lamp after kissing his wife's forehead. 'Now go to sleep woman.'

It was only a few minutes before he heard Sue's snores as the nurse finally drifted off to sleep. But Harry couldn't sleep a wink.

'All your family is here.'

'Yeah, but there's a whole world out there!' Emily flung out her arms, temporarily forgetting the intricate weaves of her unfinished basket before remembering them again. 'Oh!' the young woman quickly caught the strands before her work could unravel completely. 'There is a whole world to see Lee-lee, are you honestly telling me you want to spend the rest of your life in quaint little Forks? Forks is boring!'

'Maybe that's what's so nice about it.' Leah sunk further into her mother's favourite couch, an ugly peach thing that even her father hadn't been able to convince Sue to get rid of. Her second cousin's attempts at cheering her up with hearty debates weren't working. She knew what her mother was up to, and she didn't approve.

'Sure, go catch a wave. Go to college, meet new people and fall in love,' Leah grumbled. 'but come back! It's beautiful here Em. You really wanna spent the rest of your life in some big city where your neighbors don't know you and there's more smoke than air. You really want to live in a place where there's loud traffic at two a.m.?'

'You're thinking too small,' Emily narrowed her eyes, 'What happened to the girl who took up exotic dancing lessons for six months because she wanted to broaden her horizons?'

'She cracked a femur,' Leah folded her arms with a humph, 'And if anyone ever finds out about that Emily so help me God I'll-'

Ting! Tong!

The doorbell rung so Emily never did find out what her cousin would do to her if she ever spilled her secrets. Not that she ever would. Leah was the closest thing to a sister Emily had ever had, her best friend in the world, possibly her only real friend.

Leah jumped over the couch, landing smooth as a tiger while Emily worried away the rest of her basket. When Emily heard Sam's voice she grinned to herself. Aunt Sue had proclaimed that Samuel Uley was forbidden from ever entering her house. But Sue was on morning and afternoon shifts most of these days, and Leah had made sure that Sam didn't even know that he wasn't allowed on the Clearwaters' property.

'I'm making popcorn!' Leah said excitedly as she jumped off into the kitchen, and Emily could tell from her tone that Sam had kissed her. Within a few short moment Sam slipped into the living room, Emily's eyes went wide.

'Sam!' Emily gasped as she stood, 'I hate to be the one to tell you this man, but you're overdoing the protein shakes.'

Sam opened his mouth as if to laugh but the moment his chestnut eyes landed on hers Emily felt the strangest thing. It was as though the whole world tilted just a little bit, flooding with light and heat. Gravity slipped by, and she took a step back as if to stop it. It couldn't have been longer than a second, but after the moment something in Sam's eyes shifted. It tugged on her soul and made her want to reach out to him.

'Couldn't decide between cheese and vinegar,' Leah said as she walked into the living room, a massive bowl of popcorn pressed against her chest. 'But why choose when you can have them both?'

Sam shook his head twice in a wilf look of shock before shooting Emily's cousin a wild look. 'I've got to go.' He said, halfway out the front door.

'But you jus-'

Slam!

Both cousins stared at the front door in bewilderment but it was Leah who spoke. 'What the hell was that about?'

'No idea,' Emily shrugged as she tried to ignore a horrible and ugly thought.

'I don't understand.'

'I said I think it's better if we-'

'I heard that part.' Leah interrupted, her voice sounding smaller than she had ever heard it before. 'I heard that part Sam. I heard you say that you think it would be better if we were uninvolved. I also heard you say it like it's means nothing. What I don't understand is why you're saying it. Is there someone else?'

'N- n- I…'

'You what?' Leah asked, her throat both numb and burning as she was overwhelmed by the sudden urge to throw herself out of her own skin. Or throw Sam into the ocean. She wasn't sure which was more foreign and violent.

They were standing in their place. At their favourite time. Only four hours ago Sam had been standing in her mother's doorway looking at her like she was the most amazing woman on the planet. Only four hours ago he had kissed her and whispered that he loved her. But now, after running away from her and Emily like they were the plague, he was telling her that he was breaking up with her. That he couldn't love her like she deserved and that she should try to forget about him and find someone better for her.

But how? How was she supposed to forget about him?

'Is there someone else?' she while her heart squeezed painfully. When he didn't answer her immediately, when his tongue ran over his lower lip in the way it usually did when he was about to start lying, Leah shut her eyes and tried to count to ten. She made it to three.

'What's her name?'

'Leah I just- I think I should go.'

'What's her name Sam?' She screamed, her voice breaking. When he turned away and started walking she ran after him, grabbing his arm and wondering why it made him flinch.

'Sam no please, please.' She said frantically, not caring if it was pathetic. Not caring if he was a cheater who was selling drugs and not caring that he'd lied to her face repeatedly. 'Not like this Sam,' she said though she couldn't even see him clearly, everything was fast becoming blur, 'Not like this. You said always. You said always.'

She wasn't this girl. She didn't know how to do the crying thing, and if Julie or Rebekah had ever told her before that she would beg a lover to stay then she would have laughed right into their face and called them stupid. But here she was, being stupid, begging the boy everyone had told her would hurt her one day to not leave. Because she knew him. He was Sam. And Sam would never leave. Not without a reason. Sam loved her more than anyone else, more than anything. Sam was good and honourable. Sam always kept his promises.

'You deserve better Leah.' He said in a voice that betrayed no emotion before staring towards Neah Bay. 'I have to go.'

Leah's heart didn't break as she watched Sam walk away, it shattered.

Three days later Emily told her to forget about Sam. 'He just showed up on my doorstep, telling me to give him a chance. He's no good for you Lee-lee, you deserve better, forget about him.' Leah didn't miss the new light in her best friend's eyes.

And that was how the pieces hardened.