"Fearin' not growing up. Keeping me up at night. Am I doing enough? Feel like I'm wasting time. Promise to get a little better as I get older… but right now I feel it pouring. I need a little bit. Just a little bit."

-SZA, Prom

Grown Up and Mature

No doubt Julie was channeling her inner Marilyn Monroe as she sashayed into the Clearwaters' kitchen. Or was it Miranda Priestly? Leah wasn't too sure as she watched her colorful tornado of a friend ever cautiously. With a dazzling smile the small girl removed her oversized glasses, winking naughtily at her audience like the drama queen she was.

Charlie Swan took one look at the girl, noted the rainbow-colored hair, facial piercings and neon outfit, before he pulled a small metal flask out of his police jacket. With no reservations whatsoever the man downed the bitter contents it held, looking every bit as lousy as he always did nowadays. And who could blame the poor man? Leah didn't imagine that dealing with his selfish leech-lover of a daughter was easy. Especially not now that the girl was marrying that thing. Edward Cullen.

Soon, Isabella Swan would be a bloodsucking leech.

Sue wrapped her hands around the young visitor. 'Never to be outdone are you Julie?'

'Ah Miss!' Julie grinned. 'Sue, you know me too well.' The young woman squeezed her second mother a little bit more before she pulled away from the hug, glancing from the nurse to her daughter with a wide smile. 'So both you and my darling ladybird decided to donate your hair on World Cancer Day? I love it! Makes you look years younger Miss. Sue. Way better than those horrible bangs.'

Sue faked a smile at what Julie had meant to be a compliment.

'Charlie,' Leah turned toward the stunned Police Chief watching the scene unfold before him. 'Forgive my friend will you? She was dropped on the head, repeatedly, when she was a baby.

Charlie did not respond.

'Julietta.' Billy Black breathed, beckoning the girl closer with outstretched hands. The girl crossed the kitchen to place her hands in his with something like a blush on her round face. 'Beautiful Julietta. What a sight for these old, sore eyes.' His voice rang ever majestic as he spoke in Quileute. 'You are enchanting as always.'

Julie let out something akin to a cackle before dipping her eyes, her cheeks flashing a magnificent shade of pink. 'I see you haven't changed one bit old man. Still breaking hearts are we?'

'Only the ones that matter.' The Tribal chief winked mischievously.

Sue and Leah shared a loaded look. While the issue of Embry's parentage was still unresolved, most of the wolves and elders were thoroughly convinced that Chief Billy Black was the one who had cheated on his wife eighteen years ago with and sired a bastard son with Tiffany Call.

When Julie's response was a sensual purr, Leah grabbed her best friend's hand, interpreting the inappropriate response as their cue to leave. She led her ridiculous best friend up the stairs with a roll of her eyes. 'And they say I'm the problem child.'

'You are!' Julie chirped.

Leah gave her friend a pointed look. 'I'm not the one making inappropriate passes at Billy Black.' She whispered, hissing. 'What is wrong with you?'

Julie scoffed. 'Billy Black is a dzaddy Lee.' She said loudly and without shame. 'I'm not scared to admit it. That man can get it any day.' Julie threw a glance the old man's way. Billy Black had overheard her, and was laughing quietly in his seat.

'Julie!' Leah exclaimed. With a wicked laugh her best friend rolled her eyes and ran up the stairs.

The light-hearted moment was cut short. Julie paused as soon as she entered Leah's bedroom. Her mouth opened wide in shock when she took in the cold, bare space. It was nothing like it had been six months ago when she had left. 'Talk about an extreme makeover.'

Leah shrugged as she jumped onto her bed. 'I wouldn't call it extreme…'she said, although extreme was exactly what it was.

Her bedroom was as different from what it had been six months ago as Leah to the girl she'd been before her father had died. The basics were there still there. The potted plants, the sky blue bedsheets, the painting supplies near the window on the other side of the bed. But everything else; posters of beloved rock bands, picture frames of her, San and Emily, and the many portraits she'd painted and hang with her father's encouragement – they were gone.

'Where are your paintings?' Julie frowned.

Leah didn't answer. She still couldn't talk about anything related to her dad without feeling like thick rope was being tightened around her neck. Julie seemed to understand, and her eyes trailed to the table where Sam's many gifts - teddy bears, trinkets, jewelry - had been.

Julie smirked. 'I heard the destruction of the pig's cheesy gifts was epic.'

Leah smiled as she recalled her maniacal cry-laughter from the day she'd doused Sam's numerous gifts and pictures with gasoline. Her mother's face had been almost comical when Leah had accidentally set the oldest apple tree in the yard on fire. Harry had watched the scene unfold patiently from the kitchen window, drinking some tea. After living with Leah and Sue for years, he had expected no less from his daughter. Just another Wednesday in the Clearwater residence.

In all honesty, Leah regretted losing some of those pictures. If she'd known about the Imprint sooner, she would have thought twice before destroying all evidence of her and Sam's relationship. But maybe it was for the best that it was all gone. She knew she needed to let go. She battled with it every time she looked at the Alpha and realized that she still thought of him as her true love. Sure her furious rampage had been epic. But Epic couldn't be for her what Imprint was for Sam. Epic couldn't give her closure. Epic wasn't a replacement.

'Oh oh, where'd you go?'

Shaking off the ache in her chest, Leah's head dropped into the pillows, suddenly deflating them. 'Tell me about Los Angeles.'

'Parties, tortured artists, and failed semester tests.' Julie waved off the girl before dropping into the bed, turning towards Leah. Her friend was staring at the ceiling. 'I've been so worried about you.'

'You would be the only one.' Leah rolled her eyes.

Julie frowned. 'I know that that's not true.' Her eyes softened. 'Come on. Out with it. Let's put my psychology degree to some use.'

When Leah rolled her eyes, Julie expected her to change the subject. She was surprised when her friend sighed, hands raking through her messy hair in a sudden movement. 'My life is a fuck up. I swear someone up there has it out for me.'

There was a pause as Julie considered her words. And then Leah felt her best friend's cool fingers wrap tightly around hers.

'The people who love you,' Julie said solemnly. 'we've got your back.'

Leah smiled. 'How are you?'

'So, so,' Julie said, and Leah could tell she was not as happy as she seemed. 'I'm flunking. Also had an argument with mom the other day, when I introduced her to Allison.'

Leah turned to her friend. 'You came out?'

'Yeah, but apparently I'm too straight to be gay.'

Leah grimaced.

'Half the neighborhood thinks I'm gay.' Leah admitted. 'And the other half thinks I'm a whore.' Being sighted naked in the woods with teenage boys did that for the reputation.

'Shiiiiit.' Julie said, before both of them burst into laughter.

'Ah we're fucked!'

'Massively fucked.' Julie nodded, before her face broke out into a grin. 'I know what we need. Makeovers!'

Leah pulled a face. 'Eyyyyw. Really?'

'Yes.' Julie chirped, jumping off the bed excitedly. 'I love you ladybird, but you really didn't show yourself any love with those scissors.' Julie dragged her grumbling best friend to the dressing table, grabbing a pair of scissors before running her fingers through Leah's dark strands. 'You know… I think I kind of like it better like this.'

Leah's head tilted as she looked at the girl in the mirror, she saw her face soften at the compliment. 'Me too.'

Leah had savored twelve nights of blissfully uninterrupted sleep, binge watched six seasons of Grey's Anatomy and gasped at all of Julie's girls gone wild college stories by the time the headaches finally stopped. Sent her way by the Almighty Alpha of course. The never-ending screech of unanswered phone calls indicated that Samuel Uley was absolutely furious that she'd missed two weeks of patrol. Well boo hoo. After the order he'd given her during the new-born battle, he'd forfeited any demands on her time. She might not have been able to leave Fork's yet – because the small grey wolf had a temper that was stubborn and difficult to control - but damn it she needed some time off.

In fact, they all did.

Though she spent most of her days at home and very few out on the town with Julie and her darling sister Sarah, Leah barely saw Seth at all. Since Summer break had started Sam had the boy working so hard that he was sleeping in the woods as a wolf. It made Leah hate him just a little more, if that was even possible. But it also gave her time to realize just how lonely the Clearwater house had become. Had the house always been this quiet since her father died? Between patrol, Seth's days at school and her shifts in the bowling ring she realized her mother was much isolated than she'd let on. Her father had been a boisterous man. Chatty and cheerful, playing music loudly in the living room every chance he got and always making her mother laugh. She and Seth left her alone too often, to go hunt bloodsuckers in the woods. No wonder Charlie Swan was invited over so much.

On her second Saturday away from Sam's pack she and Julie returned from a disastrous karaoke night and bumped into Seth as he jogged down the stairs. Julie gasped. It was the first time she'd seen him since her return, and his drastically changed appearance frightened her. After watching his sudden escape through the front door, Julie turned to Leah with wide eyes.

'What happened to him?'

Leah shrugged. 'Cult.'

'Samuel Uley can suck my sweaty, wrinkled balls.' Julie huffed passionately, heading upstairs. Leah didn't say anything in return.

It had become rez gossip that Seth Clearwater and his bitter bitch of a sister were the newly initiated members of Sam Uley's cult. Leah had vehemently denied it to her best friend, but she knew that Julie was suspicious of all the recent changes in her appearance and behavior. Julie brought it up more than once, and each time Leah could feel her hatred towards the man what had betrayed her best friend. And on the subject of betrayal, Julie didn't mince words about her cousin's relationship with Leah's ex. According to Julie no one was supposed to hate your ex more than your best friend, which meant Emily was basically the scum of the earth.

'Guess what whore sent me a wedding invitation the other day.' Julie asked in that sanctimoniously bitchy way only she and Leah could pull off. (Though she watched her friend carefully for any indication that the scandalous wedding was an off-limits topic of conversation).

'Oh.' Leah replied disinterestedly. She was far too entranced by the current episode of Grey's Anatomy. War surgeon Owen Hunt was the mysterious new love interest of Dr. Christina Yang, a cardiothoracic surgeon who'd been left two season earlier -crying and without eyebrows- by her fiancé at the altar.

'Did you hear what I said?'

'Yeah, yeah.' Leah stuffed another spoonful of vanilla ice-cream into her mouth. 'So what?'

Julie frowned. 'So what?'

Reluctantly, Leah tore her eyes away from the TV to give her friend a hard stare. 'Yes Julietta. So what?'

Julie seemed genuinely taken aback by her friend's reaction. Perhaps she'd been expecting a little bit more venom from her friend. 'Why she expects any respectable person to show up, I have no idea.'

'Well, maybe because I'm going to be there. As bridesmaid.' To Leah's surprise, the sadness in her voice was heavily overshadowed by acceptance. She was shocked at the realization that she just wanted the whole tragedy to be over with. So that she could finally move on from her broken heart. And from him. Her life couldn't carry on this way. She couldn't keep pining over the man that had demolished her heart beyond repair. She still loved Sam, and fuck it she always would. But she didn't want him. Not after everything he and Emily had put her through. Not anymore.

When had that happened?

'Hold up! Rewind. Back it the hell up…' Julie's body visibly shook. 'You're doing what?' she yelled.

'Oh not now!' Leah complained. Christina Yang was on the roof of the hospital building telling sexy Dr. Owen that he traumatized her, and that she couldn't breathe – couldn't breathe - without him.

'Why?' Julie accused.

Leah paused. Yes… why had she agreed to Emily's request? 'She's family.' The wolf said bitterly. It's complicated was too profound an understatement to make.

Julie blinked. 'I am family Lee. Sue is family. Emily is the scarred face of betrayal! She took Sam, Leah. Your Sam. Family doesn't do that. Sisters don't do that.'

'You can't take what doesn't belong to you.' Leah said, as a pang shot through her chest.

And it was true wasn't it? Because if Sam and Emily had Imprinted, then that meant that they were soulmates. That he had been made for her cousin. A sacred, irrevocable, mystical bond had tied them together and showed everyone just how happy they were together. Much happier than Sam had ever been with her. What if this would have always been the outcome? What if three kids and sixteen years down the line Sam had realized that he had made a horrible mistake by marrying her? What if he had looked at her cousin and realized that she was the one he should have married instead? Maybe the Imprint had done them a favor.

But that realization failed to dissipate her doubts. That Sam and her would have worked out. Because once upon a time, she had been perfectly happy with Sam. Once upon a time her first love had been someone completely different to the man that he was now, and he had loved her with all the strength that his wolf now loved her cousin. The Imprint was a lie. She knew it was. All it did was tie wolves to mates so that they have stronger children. Sam had Imprinted on her cousin because she couldn't have kids. She was barren.

'Sam made his choice.' Leah lied. 'Emily too.' She didn't lie. 'Good for them. But I am done thinking about all of that Julie. All I want is to finally decide what the hell I am going to do with the rest of my life. That starts with enjoying a little bit of me time. So sit down, eat your damn ice-cream and let's watch Christina Yang live out her happily ever after with sexy Owen! This is some really good shit!

Julie observed Leah for a few minutes before lowering herself back to the couch. 'Well, well…' she said with a confused but impressed expression. 'look who's all grown up and mature.'

Leah rolled her eyes as music crescendoed and Doctor Owen kissed Christina fervently on the lips. A steam vault tossed their scrubs and hair into the air, a dramatic and romantic finish after far too many seasons of heartache and intensity. So much gusto! So much gratuitous passion! Leah grinned as she soaked in the dramatic soap opera. A little Shonda Rhimes was always good for a broken heart.

Leah yelped when Julie wrapped her arms around her, 'You're gonna get everything you deserve Leah.' She sighed into Leah's hair. 'I promise.'

Leah slapped her friend's arms away, 'Stop it.'

Leah felt like she was coming back from a well-deserved holiday when she finally parked her car outside Emily's house in Neah Bay. In her hand were two signed RSVP letters, one from the Clearwater family and from Julie. She really had meant it when she'd told her best friend that she would be a bridesmaid. Not because she felt some sense of misplaced duty to the pack. Not for Seth or for her mother or even because she wanted to make her father proud. She was doing it for herself. Whatever happened, she wanted to know that she had done what was right. That she was better than Sam and her cousin

As usual the house smelled like chocolate chip cookies and lavender wood polish. Only there was no hot meal cooking on the stove that afternoon, and there were no rowdy half-naked boys eating lunch at the table. Assuming that her cousin had left to teach one of her weaving and basketry classes at the rez's community college, Leah dropped the sheets of parchment onto the kitchen table and turned.

Leah gasped, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

'Shit.'

Even for a wolf the man was quiet. 'Sorry.' Embry said, his lips curved into a wide shit-eating grin.

He didn't look sorry at all. Leah narrowed her eyes at him while he stood arms crossed over his bare chest, staring at her from the doorway. His steady gaze brought their last conversation into recall, and they observed each other for a moment like two wild animals preparing themselves for a battle over territory. Or like two humans beings once burnt and now wary.

'You've been a real trash human being Leah Clearwater. You know that?' He asked seriously. His bare chest was rising and falling far too slowly for him to be breathing properly.

Leah looked him dead in the eye. 'So?'

Slightly, he shook his head, 'So I don't know what to make of you anymore.'

Leah paused at his words. She hadn't expected him to be honest. She hadn't expected anything more from him after her apology, to be honest. 'Don't make anything of me Embry.' She smiled wryly then, ''You'll be sorely disappointed.'

She stepped across the room to leave, but he didn't move an inch. It wasn't until she was standing right in front of him that she realized his heartbeat was unnaturally slow. Inhumanly slow. Had it always been that way? But even stranger than the man's pulse were those striking brown-green eyes so out of place on his otherwise carefree face. They were far too old, far too intense, for his face. And they called to her like magnets to metal.

Almost reluctantly, Embry stepped aside for her. But as she passed him he tilted his head down to her. His eyes dark and utterly chaotic in an instant. 'All of that shit about my dad?'

'Yes?' Leah said, while something strange uncurled in her stomach at the intensity of his words.

Embry gave a slight shake of his head. 'No more of that.'

A boundary then. That was new. Not a single wolf in Sam's cult had ever hoped to draw a boundary with her before, not even the Alpha himself without an order. Stunned at his calm request, and by her own wolf's eager respect for it, she nodded once.

She was halfway out the door when her mind found the question that had been nagging her brain since she'd arrived at Emily's. 'Embry?' she turned to find the wolf already lounging in his usual seat, sprawled out casually across the hammock, all intensity gone from his face.

'Yeah?'

'Where is everyone anyway?'

Embry shrugged. 'We've been a few people short so most of us are either sleeping or doing double shifts.' He didn't seem too bothered by the fact that she was one of the absent 'people' he was referring to.

Leah frowned. 'A few?'

'Jacob's gone.' He sighed, pushing back his hair in that sleek way of his. 'Probably halfway to Canada by now.'

'Oh.' Leah frowned. While the news seemed to hurt him, she wasn't quite sure she was upset about it at all. In fact, she was a little jealous. 'Good for him.'

Embry's lips tipped up at that, and she realized that his smile was more unsettling than his breathing patterns. 'Yeah I figured you'd say something like that.'

'I'm obvious these days.' Leah shrugged, and something flashed in his eyes again, gone so quickly Leah wondered if she had imagined it.

'Only if someone's actually paying attention.'

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

They were moving around each other in a strange new was and she had no idea how to make sense of it. Leah looked over her shoulder, realizing that soon someone would return. The last thing she needed was to bump into her ex. He'd Alpha order her never to leave again. 'Do me a solid and tell the Fearless Leader to stop me headaches okay?' she said. 'I'll be back when I want to be back. I just need some time to take care of myself. He owes me that.'

Embry's brow shot up. 'You think Uley will listen?'

'Honestly Embry, I don't give a flying fuck. Just tell him.'

Embry lifted his hand to his head in mock solute, his eyes again unreadable though his smile was amused. 'Yes ma'am.'

After shooting him a tentative smile Leah left Emily's house and got into her car. Her friend Julie and her beautiful mother were waiting for her at home. And so was the next episode of Grey's Anatomy.