Brother2Brother.
It seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies, and sex on TV, But where are those good old fashioned values. On which we used to rely. Lucky theirs a family guy. Lucky theirs a man who, positively can do, all the things that make us, Laugh and Cry. He's A Family Guy!
(A new character will be introduced, find out whom)
Newport Massachusetts, 1976
Peter: holy freaking crap! I can't believe I'm actually getting married! (In a room with a mirror)
Quagmire: of course your getting married Peter and it's going to be in about 30 minutes.
Peter: so what can we do in 30 minutes?
Quagmire: you can start by letting me spoon with Lois. GiGda-GiGda-GiGda-GiGda!
Peter: I got an idea let's just get drunk.
Quagmire: sure.
(They are shown at the bar)
Bartender: I think you've had enough.
Peter: what... what is he talking about...? I'm…I'm, far from done.
Quagmire: get us another bar keep!
Bartender: Jesus! I never have seen two guys who can drink 25 beers in 3 minutes.
Peter: hey… ah… Quagmire…like… what's 30 minus 3.
Quagmire: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Bartender: are you guys stupid or are you just drunk?
Peter: isn't…isn't he dumb! He… he asked us if we were drunk… and the answer fine sir is yes and no! (Faints)
Quagmire: he fainted! Oh, right! (Faints)
Peter: (Awakes) ahh… what happened? (With hand on head)
Bartender: (Polishing cups as usual) you blanked out, you fat tub of lard.
Peter: I did? Wait… where's Quagmire?
Quagmire: (Standing somewhere near a woman, he attaches a string to a filled cup, and pulls it to make it fall on her dress) check and mate! Oooow!
(Peter)
Peter: oh, my god! I'm 5 minutes late! I got to give to the alter!
Bartender: actually more like 10 minutes late, but what does my opinion matter anyway?
Peter: yea, yeah sure I got go! (Runs off into doors)
(The Alter)
(The audience is shown and Mr. Pewtersmit is shown looking at his watch, Francious is shown with his arms crossed)
Preacher: uck! He is over 10 minutes late! We must've calleth it a night!
Lois: no! I know this man and he is never late!
(A kid is in the audience that looks somewhat like Peter only much skinnier and no glasses, plus he looks cooler)
Mr. Pewtersmit: alright! That's it! Come on down honey, he stood you up!
Lois: no, he did not I am not coming down from here until he gets here, and I'm telling you he will be here!
Francious: that's it, I be getting angry me self! That protitastin should learn how to just give up now!
Mr. Pewtersmit: are you saying my daughter isn't a quitter?
Francious: I ain't saying nothing about Saturday morning cartoons am I?
Mr. Pewtersmit: you son of bitch! (Jumps onto Francious and Starts chocking him but is soon punched in the face and on top of getting punched, Pewtersmit then kicks him off)
(The entire room begins to fight then including the preacher, punches after punches, kicks after kicks, beer drops after beer drops)
Mr. Pewtersmit: no body says anything about my daughter, and less of course it's Ted Turner, or Bill Gates.
Francious: who?
(They continue fighting until the doors turn open)
Peter: waittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! (Is running toward the alter) waitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! (Stops to take a breathe) waittttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! (Running toward Alter and getting there) you didn't think I was going to be late did you? Ha! Ha!
Lois: Peter, you were 15 minutes late.
Peter: ah, no I wasn't I was 5. (Looks at the audience) looks like everyone started the party early, ha, ha. Save some of those punches for me, would jua!
(Everyone sits down after they had stand in a attacking position to one another)
Preacher: (Gets back up to the alter) (Clears throat) ok, let's get this thing under way, shunt we.
Peter: it's time Lois.
Lois: yep…
Preacher: if there is anyone in the audience who feels these two should not be joined together please raise your hand.
Francious: (has his arms crossed and looks as if he really wants to raise his arms, but he doesn't)
Preacher: ok, let's get this over with then. Do you dearly beloved- yada… yada… yada. And do you- Yada… Yada… Yada! You may now kiss the bride.
(Piano goes off)
(Both Peter and Lois are about to kiss, when all of the sudden some guys busts down the door)
Super villain: now all the planets energy will belong to me! Energy stealer man!
Preacher: I say- I say who the, ell are you?
Super Villain: oh, actually I came for the wedding, sorry I'm late.
Peter: that's alright stealer.
Both: (Peter and Lois then kiss)
(Piano play)
(Some of the audience says yeah… whatever)
(The reception)
Peter: (Is shown standing talking to someone while drinking juice in a cup)
Mr. Pewtersmit: so, Peter, your married to my daughter aay.
Peter: yep, and I plan to steal your fortune.
Mr. Pewtersmit: what?
Peter: I said I plan to live happily.
Mr. Pewtersmit: oh. Well Peter from this day forward I plan to hate you until you divorce, so good life to you and Lois. (Walks way)
Peter: thanks Mr. Pewtersmit!
(The kid that some what looks like Peter walks over)
Peter: ah, Derrick! You crazy 11 year old! (Gives him a pat on the head)
Derrick: yea, yeah stop with all the kid stuff.
Peter: Derrick, you little child, you know I can't stop. Yes, you do! Yes you do! (Acting all like a person who thinks something is cute)
Derrick: I get the picture!
Peter: (starts announcing to everyone) hey guys, my little brother says I'm treating him like a child!
(Everyone starts to laugh)
Man: what a cute, dumb kid!
Man 2: yeah I know.
Female: maybe he needs a hug!
(Everyone continues laughing as it shows Derrick up close)
Derrick: stop it! Stop it!
Tom Tucker: (70's version) ah, the kid is angry now.
(Everyone acts like he is cute)
Quagmire: I guess, he needs a time out now. Oh!
Cleveland: my gosh, even white kids are cute.
Diane Simmons: (70's version) you know what this makes me want to do, go and start a news broadcasting shown with Tom Tucker.
Tom: it will never happen.
(Everyone gasps in cuteness)
Derrick: that's it! I'm out of here! (Walks out church door)
Peter: ah, there he goes, isn't he cute?
All: Yep!
Lois: (Comes over) I feel sorry for him.
Peter: what you talking about Lois, he's just a cute little kid, he gets like this all the time, and I just happen to be 10 years older then him.
Lois: well you should go out there and apologize to him now.
Peter: oh, ok. (Goes outside) hey Derrick! Derrick! (Looks around sidewalks and alleys) hmm… where could that cute kid of gone? Oh, well. (Walks back inside) let's party!
(Everyone begins to dance)
Quagmire: (Runs across the floor) Gigda-Gigda-Gigda-Gigda…
Peter: this is such a great party!
(Time passes on) Peter: Party! (More time goes by) Peter: Party! (Even more time goes by) Peter: Party!
(Later)
Francious: alright you're married and everything, now I'm going home. (Begins walking outside)
Peter: ok, dad.
Francious: where's Derrick at?
Peter: oh, he's a… no… he's… uhh… hmm… where is that kid at?
Francious: have you missed placed your brother, Peter?
Peter: I might have just left him hiding outside a little earlier today.
Francious: you… I don't even know what to call, ya! You have sinned in me name!
Peter: I didn't know losing your brother was a sin?
Francious: it's not but it is in my book! Now out of my way I have a son to find! (Runs outside door)
Peter: gosh I hope they find him, well anyway let's go and get hitched Lois!
Lois: aren't you going to help them find your brother?
Peter: ah, don't worry he'll turn up, he always does stuff like this, that cute little kid.
Lois: alright, I guess we can leave.
(They are outside in their car with Peter waving good bye to everyone)
Peter: bye!
Lois: good bye!
All: bye!
(They drive off with the cans dragging off and a sign saying "Just married, to a Protestant whore!")
(Pictures are shown of the years they have together)
(Present time or at least the year Family Guy takes place in)
Lois: (Is up in the attic looking at an old picture album) ahh. Look at that.
Peter: (Appears out of know where behind her) Hi!
Lois: (Shrieks loudly) holy crap! Oh, Peter. It's you.
Peter: grabs the book. Oh, yeah the old Griffin family album, I remember this good book, the years before I got married to you and the years after I married to you.
(Years before marriage)
Peter: (Looking in the album) this albums sucks! (Throws it to the ground)
(Present)
Peter: gosh I should show this to the kids.
(In TV room sitting on the couch)
Peter: oh, yeah and this is me sky diving with Louie Anderson, if you look hard enough you can see that he is actually eating an entire Bag of cheeseburgers.
Brian: that's obvious.
Chris: do you have any pictures of us as baby's dad?
Peter: Chris what are you thinking? Of course we don't have any pictures. Plus if we took one of you then you wouldn't even be able to see the background.
Lois: Peter!
Chris: it is true.
Meg: hey it's a picture of me signing on stage at the high school concert a few years back.
(Concert a few years back)
Meg: hello, everyone I am going to sing a song to you all.
Audience member: ah, great!
Audience member: what a waist of money!
Meg: Pieces, Pieces, Pieces of me…
(The radio breaks down)
Audience: boo!
Audience member 1: get off the stage!
(Everyone starts throwing pies)
Peter: boo! You stink! (Picks a pie up and throws it) he he he he he he he he. (Laughing like he does)
(Present)
Peter: those were the days; hey take a look at this it's a picture of General James Griffin from the Revolutionary war.
(James Griffin Revolutionary war times)
James: I Major. Sgt. General of the American army plans to destroy King George's men and go head on into the great kingdom!
Audience: (Cheers and so do the soldiers)
James: but 1st we have to not do anything until about 1776.
Man: but sir that's like 10 years from now.
James: yeah I know. He he he he he he he he.
(Present)
Stewie: I say, who the hell is that skinny but somewhat looks like you tike right there? (Points toward picture of Derrick and Peter while in Lois's arms)
Peter: someone who's name will not be mentioned in this house hold.
Lois: Peter you can't just forget to tell the kids about your brother.
Peter: ah, fine I will. That there kids is your uncle Derrick.
Meg: we have an uncle?
Chris: cool I want an uncle, heard everyone else has one.
Brian: how come you never mentioned him to us?
Peter: because he is a no good back stabbing run away that's what.
Lois: Peter, you should show some respect.
Peter: respect? Respect for that guy? Please Lois he just ran off and never came back.
Lois: well maybe you should have treated him better the night we were married.
Peter: we treated him fine.
Stewie: are there any other pictures of him?
Peter: no because he never once wanted to take any other pictures rather then this one.
Lois: didn't the search teams ever find him.
Peter: nope, they searched high and low but they never found him and I am glad they didn't.
Lois: but you just cancelled the search after one year.
Peter: he was long gone Lois, if they would have looked any longer they would have been exhausted.
Lois: but Peter people search for years for other people all the time.
Peter: all I know is that he could be in space with Jimmy Hoffa.
(Spaceship)
(Aliens and Hoffa sit at a table playing poker)
Jimmy: I call. Looks like I win again!
Alien: hey wait a minute!
(An aliens long tentacles goes out and grabs a card out from his sleeve)
Alien: Hoffa, you cheated again!
Jimmy: I never cheated in my life, that's just a rainy day card.
Alien: yeah and pigs fly! And pigs fly!
(Griffin house)
(Later that day)
Peter: (Is shown watching TV with Brian) this shows great!
Brian: yeah it is isn't it?
(Saturday night live)
Host: I would like to sing and dance but I see that, that's already been done.
Audience: (Laughs)
Host: (Laughs too) ha-ha! Why am I laughing? It wasn't even funny nor did it make sense.
Audience: (Laughs)
Host: that just goes to show you how horrible the writing of this show is.
(Everyone laughs again)
(Now showing Peter)
Host: what's wrong with you people?
Audience: (Laughs)
Peter: god, Saturday Night Live is so damn funny.
(Knock at door)
Peter: ah, crap who could that be? (Gets up and answers the door) hello.
Person: hello…
Peter: we don't want any.
Person: Peter!
Peter: how do you know my name?
Person: it's me Peter.
Peter: umm… I don't recall.
Person: can't you see the resemblance!
Peter: have no clue.
Person: just like you Peter to forget a face.
Peter: hey I know who you are!
Person: who?
Peter: your- Siegfried. Listen I know I owe you money but I gave it all to the lion that almost killed you.
Person: no you moron! It's me!
Peter: uhh…
Person: (Raises a picture of Derrick and Peter)
Peter: yeah it's a picture of me and my brother. What's the catch?
Person: who was 10 years younger then you?
Peter: Derrick.
Person: ok, now who is on the left of this picture?
Peter: Derrick.
Person: alright your almost there and who is the person holding this picture who is on the left?
Peter: Derrick.
Person: exactly.
Peter: oh, I think I get it.
Person: really?
Peter: no I don't have a clue of to what you're talking about.
Person: dahhhhhhhhhh! Damnit Peter it's me Derrick!
Peter: oh, my god! Derrick! For real?
Derrick: for real.
Peter: but you disappeared in 1976. Where have you been all of these years?
Derrick: I've been to Florida, Canada, Massachusetts, California, Maryland, China, Switzerland, Japan, Hungary, King Salmon and the Eastside Boys!
Peter: whoa! That is sure a lot of places.
Derrick: yes, it is isn't it?
Peter: (Slaps him across the face)
Derrick: ow!
Peter: that's for disappearing for more then 20 years.
Derrick: ok, ok sorry, sorry.
Brian: (Comes to the door) so this is Derrick, huh?
Peter: yeah, how did you know Brian?
Brian: oh, I was just listing from the couch; I was right next to the door.
Peter: well as I was saying you disappeared! You didn't call, you didn't write, you surly didn't send any plane Curriers.
Derrick: I know it's just that I was out for so long that I missed my family, so I decided to come back to Quahog.
Peter: did you go to dad too?
Derrick: no of course not. Do you know what he will do to me if he saw me again?
Peter: ah, sick the pope on you?
Derrick: worse! The entire catholic church of Christ's Staff and Teachers!
Peter: whoa!
Derrick: maybe even Jesus himself!
Peter: that sure is drastic.
Derrick: so I have decided to come and live with you and Lois.
Peter: well that's said and- duh what?
Derrick: come on Peter I could use a place to stay at, I mean a lot of brothers live with each other.
Peter: hmm… (Looks at Derrick hard) hmm… (Looks around) you seem clean enough. Come in.
Derrick: (Comes in)
Peter: (Quickly closes the door in a hurry)
Derrick: thanks brother! (Hugs him tight)
Peter: but no more running off.
Derrick: you have my word.
Peter: good.
Brian: so your Derrick Griffin, I've heard very little of you. (Shakes his hand)
Derrick: I've never seen you before either, ah, Brian? Is that correct?
Brian: yep.
Derrick: wow that's great. Say Peter are you and Lois still married, or did you drop her for this dog?
Peter: nope were still married.
Derrick: wow it's been so long that I forgot that you two have been married for many years now.
Peter: well maybe some people shouldn't have walked out of the family.
Derrick: come on Peter can't we just have a little fun like we used to when we were kids.
Peter: we were hardly ever kids together. Remember I'm 10 years older then you.
Derrick: well even so we felt like kids, when we were children Peter.
(Lois walks in)
Lois: and who might this be Peter?
Derrick: wow, Lois you look just as good as you did in the 70's.
Lois: oh, well I don't believe I know who you are.
Derrick: it's me Derrick.
Lois: (gaps) Peter's little brother!
Derrick: yep in the flesh.
Lois: where have you been all of these years?
Derrick: well I was in Florida, Canada, Massachusetts, California, Maryland, China, Switzerland, Japan, Hungary, King Salmon and the Eastside Boys!
Lois: I'm not familiar with the last one.
Derrick: neither was I till I got there.
(King Salmon and the Eastside boys)
Derrick: wow this country sure is small, there's France right there.
Solider: (Runs into Derrick) out of our way were going to war!
(A bunch of soldiers come out of know where and run to France)
Derrick: wow! I sure do love this country.
(Griffin house)
Chris: (Walks in) hey, dad who's that?
Peter: that my dear boy is my long lost brother Derrick.
Chris: no way! That's Uncle Derrick? Wow he's skinny!
Derrick: wow you have a son Peter?
Peter: yes I do have a son, unlike you.
Derrick: I can't stand kids why would I want one?
Meg: (walks in) (gasps) oh, my gosh!
Derrick: who is she?
Peter: that's my son Meg. I mean my "daughter" Meg.
Derrick: wow!
Meg: he he hi!
Derrick: she sure is ugly Peter.
Meg: huh?
Derrick: wow Peter you got a nice place here, say what do you…
Stewie: (Comes running in) I say, is that a miniature Peter? Blast you! Who is that attractive young man?
Derrick: (Walks over) ah, look so you did have another boy in the family, I was beginning to worry. Ha-ha. (Picks Stewie up)
Stewie: ah! I say let me down you file man!
Derrick: ah, he has one good vocabulary. Hey can you say uncle?
Stewie: (Sighs) uncle.
Derrick: that's one smart baby you got there Peter.
Stewie: and how do you clarify smart?
Derrick: (puts him down) so where am I going to sleep?
Lois: wait a minute you, want to stay here?
Derrick: yeah Peter told me I could.
Lois: heh heh. (Talks with a smile to Peter) Peter can I talk to you a minute in the other room?
(They both go in the other room)
Lois: Peter! How can you just let him sleep here, for lord knows how long?
Peter: hey he missed his family, and well I don't think he came all this way for nothing.
Lois: …
Peter: come on Lois just let him stay for awhile and will judge him from that.
Lois: well if he screws up at all I want him gone.
Peter: you have my word. (Drums roll like at JFK Motorcade)
(The TV room)
Derrick: so, ah, you're my nephew?
Chris: yeah isn't that neat?
Derrick: yeah, sure. And you're my girl niece?
Meg: uh, yeah.
Derrick: umm… hmm… if I were to judge you both I'd give Chris here a 9 out of 10 and you 5 out of 10.
Meg: why?
Derrick: because.
Brian: so Derrick you seem a bit more sophisticated then peter, have you always been like this?
Derrick: yeah, I was always the smartest of the family; I never liked Catholic school and wanted to take a career in acting but that back fired drastically when I tried it.
Brian: hey I could probably help you there.
Derrick: you could? Well, I mean no offense, but, you know you are a dog.
Brian: well then you obviously haven't seen my 7 films I directed.
Derrick: cool did they star Kevin Spacey?
Brian: umm… no actually you can't say they were really top notch films.
Derrick: oh, you work independent I like that.
Brian: ah, yeah sure. Independent films.
Derrick: well then I would be happy to watch them.
Brian: how's about another time.
Derrick: sounds fine to me, can't wait till then.
Brian: ha, ha ha… right.
(A bit later the family guy music plays to introduce the next scene at the dinner table)
(Derrick and everyone sits at a seat)
Derrick: (Takes a bite of the food with his fork) this is really good, Lois… I've never had anything like it before.
Lois: well… thank you. He's definitely better mannered Peter.
Peter: huh? What? (Digs his face into his food and moves around a lot eating it like a dog and then wiggles his face) well… that was good. Hey Chris I think Gumble2Gumble is on.
Chris: alright!
(They both run off to the TV room)
Lois: well there goes another night of no rinsed dishes.
Derrick: oh, apish-posh I can handle the dishes.
Lois: oh, (Chuckles) really?
Derrick: it's the least I can do for letting me stay here for awhile.
Lois: thank you.
Derrick: you enjoy yourself.
Lois: (Picks Stewie up to take him to bed)
Stewie: no, file woman! Put me down, I don't want to go to a nap; I want to talk to Uncle Derrick.
Lois: ah, Stewie wants to get to know his uncle.
Derrick: uh… well Lois I'm not much of a kid person.
Lois: I think you two should get to know each other. (Puts him down in his chair and walks away)
Derrick: ok, I guess I'll handle the baby.
Stewie: I say do you enjoy being her bitch!
Derrick: whoa there! Should a baby like you be using that kind of language?
Stewie: I say what I want.
Derrick: I was just being nice; I'm not being anyone's bitch or anything.
Stewie: well, normally the guest would sit down and watch Gumble2Gumble, not do the dishes.
Derrick: well, it's probably something you'll understand when your older ah, Billy.
Stewie: what did you just call me?
Derrick: Billy. (Cleans a dish)
Stewie: blast you! My name is not Billy! Although I wish it were. But it's Stewie you insignificant Deuce!
Derrick: you know you remind me of me at that age. Didn't take no for an answer nor did ask to be potty trained.
Stewie: yeah well- wait? What?
Derrick: I remember those golden years like they were yesterday. (Thinks in his mind)
Stewie: hmm…
Derrick: I always hated it!
Stewie: what?
Derrick: my child hood sucked. My father would always come in and say, (Talks like Francious) "ye be missing out on, all the good things in life, now go to church, go to school, learn acrobatics, scrub my back, make me dinner!" I practically took care of this whole family when I was young and hardily got any respect! I see a lot of that in you, Stewie.
Stewie: me? Well actually, I'm better off then you, think, you know drinking my wa-wa, and plotting to kill Lois have never been better.
Derrick: see, I never had goals when I was your age, because my father prevented me from having them, and so did your father as well. I see times have changed and he doesn't treat you like he did me. (Washes a dish) but I'm sure he'll treat me just the same!
Stewie: well, Mr. Uncle Man, maybe you should set up to your problems and set ground rules with the fatman.
Derrick: you, know what your right! I'm going to march in there right now and give him a piece of my mind! (Runs into the TV room) Peter!
Peter: huh!
(Gumbel2Gumbel is on)
Derrick: I need to tell you something so I may take it off my chest!
Peter: uh-huh. (Focused on TV)
Derrick: I think you should treat me like family now! Not like some cute little child! Because 1 thing I ain't little anymore, nor am I cute to your likings!
Peter: uh-huh.
Derrick: now if I'm going to live here I demand I don't do everything for you, like when I was a kid!
Peter: uh-huh.
Derrick: and I expect you to give me respect as an adult, not as a minor anymore, I mean I'm freaking 32 now! So get over the loss of what I use to be!
Peter: yeah.
Derrick: have you heard a single word I have said?
Peter: uh-huh.
Derrick: (Turns around turns off the TV and looks at Peter)
Peter: hey it was getting to the climax!
Derrick: if you're going to be my brother you'd listen to what I have to say!
Peter: Derrick, we treated you fine as a kid.
Derrick: you never knew what it was like to be me when I was 10 and younger. Oh, dad treated you fine, but not me, I was just considered the young man of the family, and I want that to change!
Peter: Derrick… I never thought it like that before.
Derrick: well… start thinking!
Peter: well, I hope you know dad didn't like me any better then you!
Derrick: really? Well, sorry for you! (Sarcastic)
Peter: well, then… I'm not going to have someone who thinks he can take control of my family in this family, so I suggest you leave. Good day to you sir. (Points toward door exit)
Derrick: fine Peter, if that's your choice. (Walks toward the door)
Lois: (Comes walking in) Peter! What is going on down here!
Peter: I'm just telling Derrick that he isn't welcome here.
Lois: Peter, let me stay. Obviously he is hurt after all those years you guys took advantage of him.
Peter: hey, we treated him fine, we said he was cute every so often, but that was only because he was young and enlightening.
Derrick: (Opens the door) well, you aren't going to see me for another 20 years now. Good-bye Peter, and maybe when I return in 20 years, you'll final treat me better, or maybe you'll be dead. Either way works for me. (Closes door)
Lois: Peter! You march right out there and apologize now. He's your brother for Pete's sakes! He looks up to you!
Peter: alright, alright, fine I'll go and say I'm sorry to him. (Begins walking toward door)
(The door opens up and Derrick runs in with a hammer and boards to hold the door shut)
Derrick: hide me! (As he hammers nails in)
Peter: what?
Derrick: I said hide me!
Peter: what's going on-?
Francious: (At the window) Derrick! Are you in there boy!
Peter: ah, crap it's dad!
Francious: Peter! You better let me in, I know Derrick's in there! Ye better open up! Don't make me sick Jesus on you!
Peter: ahh… nobody's home.
Derrick: (Puts his hand on his own face)
Francious: open up the damn door! (Starts banging on the door, really loudily)
Peter: Derrick, go into the basement!
Derrick: okay. (Runs down the basement)
Francious: (Makes holes through the door with an axe until it falls down)
Peter: well, hey dad, what brings you here?
Francious: I've smelled Derrick!
Peter: no, you must be smelling- ah- someone who isn't Derrick.
Francious: I smell him alright, he's here and you're hiding him. I can't wait to find him, and teach him a lesson he won't soon forget mind ya. And I may just teach you one to Peter. Now out of my way! (Walks in to start searching for Derrick) where in god's name are ye boy! I know your in here somewhere! (Opens up a cabinet and throws cups and dishes out)
Lois: Peter! Get him out of here!
Peter: listen dad… umm… Derrick's smell has just been left here from oh, so amy years ago.
Francious: what are ye saying, the smell just came now!
Peter: ah, no… no it didn't.
Francious: (Thinks he hears something) uh-ha! You thought you could hide him in the basement aay! Well guess, what ye had another thing coming! (Walks toward basement)
Peter: (Runs in front of him) come on dad, just give Derrick a chance to make it up to everyone.
Francious: oh, he'll make it up to everyone alright. After I kill him! (Opens door with Peter fallowing)
Peter: dad, he wants to make it up to us, but only if we make up what we did to him over those many years.
Francious: what? Treating with respect, and telling him the lord's teachings! How is that not a good childhood.
Peter: well we made him do everything for us.
Francious: well, it builds strong bone, me say.
(They both get to the bottom and Derrick stands there)
Francious: Derrick after all these years! Ye didn't write, nor call, you didn't even send a plane currier, I mean that would have been nice so we would of known you were alright.
Derrick: well, father, I am alright and I needed to get away that's why I left, I needed to find myself.
Francious: well, son could you at least tell me where you went.
Derrick: well I was in Florida, Canada, Massachusetts, California, Maryland, China, Switzerland, Japan, Hungary, and King Salmon and the Eastside Boys!
Francious: wow! Derrick you've been to all of those places.
Derrick: yes, I have and I have gotten in touch with the tribes in those areas.
Brian: (From the top of the stairs) I didn't know there were tribes in Florida.
Derrick: oh, yeah there are plenty of them all over the place. There called crack joints or something like that.
Francious: well, Derrick, Peter says I should make it up to you. (Walks up to Derrick) can you ever forgive me son?
Derrick: (Sits and thinks for a moment) you know dad, maybe I will.
Francious: then I apologize Derrick. (Slaps Derrick in the face)
Derrick: hey!
Francious: that's for leaving for 20 years! Oh, son give your old man a hug!
(They have a hug)
Peter: hey, you haven't hugged me since you lived here for a awhile.
Francious: that's because I don't like you.
(Everyone starts to laugh including Peter as the house is shown from the outside)
(End credits shows Peter and family)
Peter: something that Family Guy has never done before is adding a new character to the family, and we all together want to welcome Derrick to this family, now all who agree we should have him in say "Yay"
People: "Yay"
Other people: "Nay"
Peter: (Counts 50 on the Yay side and 60 on the Nay side)
Peter: ah, crap… ah, the Yay side wins!
Yay side: Yay! (In cheer)
Nay side: Nay! That isn't right!
Peter: so Derrick is going to be apart of the cast of Family Guy! See yea next time!
(End credits like in show)