"Slow we paddle through the lake, straight to the very center of the darkest water. Where we can embrace the shadows on the surface, the eyes that look up lifeless, from our twins below. And though your arms and legs are under love will be the echo in your ears when all is lost and plundered. My love will be there still."

-Imperial Mammoth, Requiem on Water

Moonlight

It wasn't like Leah to be caught unawares. She wasn't the type to fidget either, and she most certainly wasn't known for being very quiet. Yet the she-wolf was distracted that night, swinging her feet from side to side as she sat awkwardly in her cousin's hammock.

The grey was pleased to find her there, sitting in his favorite seat, resting there quietly after a long night of patrol. But he was also worried. She looked exhausted. Not the kind that went away after a good night's sleep, but rather like a boat that had seen far too many nights out on the malevolent ocean; the planks beat and the wood splintered from laborious sailing.

He wasn't a man of many words, and knowing Leah, Embry guessed she'd spit at his feet if he turned all soppy on her anyway. But he cared, maybe more than he should have. He couldn't fight the urge to sit beside her, or the desire to take her hand. He was somewhat surprised when she gripped his hand in return.

'I'm gonna have to apologize to Emily.'

'Why's that?'

Leah's head fell onto his shoulder in what he hoped was a display of affection. 'I've run out of excuses to be a bitch.'

Embry grinned. He was partly relieved; she hadn't reverted to her usual antics after finding out about the pregnancy. Against everyone's expectations Leah had been quiet all night - after arriving to patrol on time. Even Jared had wondered if Sam had finally 'broken her' when she'd given no cruel reactions to Quil's Clair is Perfect Claire is Perfect Claire is Perfect five-hour monologue.

Still, Embry knew Leah's cruel words were not the worst thing that she could do to the pack. That it was her indifference that would hurt the other wolves the most. The she-wolf was a strong maternal force, especially protective of the cubs, and she was the one constantly thinking ahead to what had to be done. They might have hated her, but they needed her. They needed her fierce tongue and her sharp mind, her protective instincts and her loyal heart. They were not whole without her. He didn't want her to lose her desire to fight.

All of this hurt her greatly, he knew it did. It was hard enough just being a wolf, without feeling like you were drowning in this nightmare, and Leah had been forced to deal with so much more than just a random phase. All of this had destroyed her life, her dreams, her hopes for the future. He wished he had the power to make her believe that one day it would all be alright, that she was strong enough to handle whatever would come. But his words had fled from him. His tongue always betrayed him when he was in Leah's presence.

Embry pressed his chin to her head, reveling in the sight of her dark hair splashed across his chest and her heady scent of citrus. His heart calmed instantly, Extreme sports and Leah's scent were the only thing that had that effect on him. Heat simmered every place her soft skin touched his, and they could have stayed that way for hours, just listening to the sound of each other's heartbeats.

'Embry?'

'Yeah?'

The man might have been unaware of the way his hand was running slowly up and down her spine, but Leah felt every gentle stroke as the heat soaked into her skin. 'Where do wolves go to disappear?'

Her question, the soft trusting way that she asked it, made him feel honored. It wasn't lost on the pale grey wolf that Leah rarely let anyone else see her vulnerable like this. 'Beats me.' he said quietly. 'But I know where they go to find themselves.'

Leah turned to him, almost breaking the shared rhythm of their breathing as she caught his hazel eyes. They were so far away, like some beautiful place to get lost in and never return. 'Take me.'

Embry's heart might have stopped completely. 'You willing to trust?'

Leah frowned, 'Trust what?'

Embry stood, offering his hand to the she wolf as she watched in confusion. 'Just trust Clearwater.' he sent her a wry smile. 'I'm not asking for something you don't have to offer.'

Leah frowned at his words, not sure she knew what he meant.

He looked like a skyscraper, all the way up there, and Leah felt like a tiny tree on the sidewalk reaching up to take his hand. Or at least, like a small wrecking-ball, capable of crushing their building trust with her fear. When she stood, Embry offered her one of his carefree smiles.

'Let's get out of here.' he said.

It was the violent crash of waves that alerted Leah to the trouble. The ocean cracked against jagged pillars of rock, a forceful conflict between water and stone as the skies above all but mocked the drama below. Unlike the waters, the heavens were at peace. Pretty swirls of light grey cloud wrapped around the moon in a loving embrace, while streaks of light shot out from where the two met to make love. The luminary was bathing everything in pale white light, casting magic over the beach so that every part of it glittered like the stars. It was beautiful and terrifying. Haunted and mesmerizing. A dreamy, breathtaking kind of night.

Leah crossed her arms. 'Skinny legs why are you stripping?'

Embry balled up his shirt and tossed it at her head. Annoyed, Leah discarded the piece of clothing without noting where it went. 'What is it called when someone feels the sudden, overwhelming urge to do something violent?'

'Call of the void.' She frowned. 'You're not going to throw me off the cliff are you?'

He laughed, the rich heady sound bubbling up his throat. 'Maybe that would appease the gods.'

When the wolf shrugged off his pants, and Leah's eyes went wide as she caught a glimpse of the massive bulge in his underwear. She had definitely not been expecting that. She turned away, cheeks ablaze as she took deep, calming breaths and tried to ignore her wolf's overwhelming desire to turn back and stare.

Embry cleared his throat. 'But no, I'm not pushing you tonight. You're jumping. With me.'

She'd always known that he was a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but she'd never pegged him for a lunatic. 'So not a homicide, just a double suicide then?'

Embry snickered, and Leah's heart quickened when she felt his warm hands touch the skin on her waist. She became vaguely aware of the quickening rhythm in her chest as the wind blew through her raven hair. 'Relax Lee. We'll be fine.' he said with a voice as soothing and comforting as a cup of hot chocolate. 'I've done this before. This used to be a sort of initiation ritual when it was just a handful of us. Before Jacob phased and Billy gave into the urge to formalize everything with bonfires.'

It was slight, but Leah didn't miss the irritation in his voice at the mention of Billy Black. When Embry's hands tightened slightly against her waist, she was grateful for the darkness hiding the rising color in her cheeks.

'Granted we never used to do this in the darkness but... maybe the first female shifter in Quileute history deserves something a little different. You look mesmerizing in moonlight by the way. It's like you demand to be kissed. It's a grievous injustice that we're only friends.'

'Knock it off Call.' Leah shrugged off her plaid shirt, trying to ignore the raging fire out of control in her veins. Not him. She reminded herself. 'So what does this ancient tradition entail? Do we all hold hands and sing kumbaya under the moonlight, discarding our losses with our clothes as we fall to the ocean depths?'

'It's like you know.' Embry nodded with grave expression before breaking out in a kind of laugh that reminded her of Quil. 'We're dudes, we never said that shit out loud. But I'm pretty sure all of us used the opportunity to think about all the things this life took from us. Everyone had to find a way to let go of their fears and be brave enough to jump.'

Leah took a long, deep breath before she exhaled. 'It's a fucking long jump.'

'Yeah, absolutely terrifying. But it's also a crazy high. Not to mention the swim afterwards.'

'It's high tide.' Leah said, knowing that if she were human, this would be her demise.

Embry smirked. 'What a time to be alive.'

She stared up at Embry, appreciating the deep shades of green in his eyes that only come out to play in the darkness. His eyes burned as he watched her, and she suddenly felt naked and far too vulnerable in his presence. 'So this is how wolves find themselves?'

'I think... I think this is the place they go to start trying.'

They walked to the edge of the cliff together and Leah was grateful that he didn't try to hold her hand. She remembered standing on a cliff like this with Jacob Black the day he'd left, hating him for reminding her that she was even more broken than he was, and that she would never be healed. The wind howled around her, and she could feel the power in it, for a moment she could believe that there was no difference between reality and dreams.

Maybe somewhere, in some other world, there were kisses on First Beach and dark-haired children collecting seashells while she and Sam held hands. Maybe in another place and time her father was still swimming in the ocean with her and Seth, while her mother yelled orders from her resting spot in the sand. Somewhere, she and Emily were still best friends, and she actually trusted her cousin again.

But that world didn't exist anymore. It was time to let go. She knew that there was as much magic in the ocean as there was in the wind, so the symbolism of a baptism wasn't lost on her.

She had carried her bitterness like a shield for so long, and it had protected her for a time, she supposed. Leah Clearwater was a warrior. She wasn't afraid to jump and fall, to break or burn, or even to meet her end if she hit the rocks. But there was something terrifying about the decision to jump. Taking a leap of faith. Jumping off the cliff would be about trusting that there was something more valuable to find afterwards. And Leah already knew that hope did you in every time. What if she searched past rude, bitter bitchy Leah Clearwater and realized that there was nothing left to find?

'What did you have to let go of Embry? When you jumped?'

She wasn't brave enough to look at him. Her were fragile and she didn't want him seeing how glassy they were still capable of being.

'Besides my innocence?' He smiled wryly. 'I guess it was the crushing desire to be like the father I never knew. Tiff still talks about him like he's some kind of hero. Died in the war she says. Love of her fucking life. Fuck. I wanted to be like him for so long, and then phase. Now the choices I get for a dad are a womanising alcoholic who walked out on his wife and son - or Billy Black, who I've considered a man of integrity for years. If it's him, means the fucker cheated on Aunt Sarah just months before she got pregnant with my best friend.'

'Is that why you don't want to know who he is?'

Embry tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and offered her a small smile, 'You wanna do this or what Clearwater?'

The she-wolf gave a slight shake of her head.

And then she jumped.

It was terror and release, exhilaration and fear as Leah gave into gravity and tumbled wildly through the air, remembering what it was like to live. She could barely hear herself scream. The wind was roaring in her ears, her frantic heart beating to a rip out of her chest. She could make out Embry's whoooo as he sailed right past her, recklessly uninhibited and unthinking. And for a moment, they were free. Every bit as free as they'd ever wanted to be. When they crashed, the surface of the water slapping them back to their senses, Leah realized that she was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. She stayed submerged for a few moments, letting the salt waters cleanse and the rolling waters heal.

The she-wolf burst through the surface half-laughing, half-coughing, and was surprised when she felt Embry's warm fist beat gently at her back. She still couldn't make out anything but the light in the clouds above them, and she wondered how he had found her.

'Deep breaths.' He yelled, his deep voice almost completely drowned out by the wild chaotic roar of the water and wind. 'Not a very strong swimmer, are you?'

'Seth.' she choked out.

'Alright,' he said. The wolf wrapped his hand roughly around her arm, dragging her behind him towards the shore. It was a few moments before he heard her cussing him out, arguing that she did not need his help and that she could take care of herself. Embry let go of her with a wicked grin, but she could feel his wolf, feel that it was protective. She felt something soften inside her chest when she realized he trusted her to know her own strengths.

'Race ya.' Leah yelled before diving off towards the shore.

She was quick, but where running with the winds was her strength, diving in the ocean depths was Embry's. She'd never enjoyed losing a competition so much, and if not for the near choking to death experience and the having to admit that Embry Call was better at something than her parts, Leah might have admitted that she'd actually enjoyed their midnight rendezvous.

The dark night embraced them, the green forest of Washington humming with life as the two wolves trekked quietly to the Clearwater residence. He didn't really have to walk her, god help any person who tried to hurt Leah Clearwater, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. Embry Call was a gentleman, and she bit her lip softly, pleased at the realisation that Tiffany Call had raised her son good.

She didn't much like smelling like Jared, but they'd been unwilling to climb back up the cliff for their clothing and Jared and Jake were the only ones who left random piles of clothes hidden in the woods. Leah had stolen a shirt of Jared's. Embry borrowed an entire outfit from his best friend. Both had felt the need to state out loud that they would return the various items after washing them. In all honesty Leah had no desire to do that, but she knew her mother might be kind enough to wash the slacks and Seth might even return them. She believed that the saying was true; it was the thought that counted.

She glanced up at Embry from the edge of her vision as they neared her childhood home. Their night had been marked by silence and minimal touching as they walked side by side towards the reservation houses. It wasn't enough. It bothered her not to touch him. Leah wasn't sure if it was her wolf or her woman that kept drawing nearer to him; that found ways for parts of her body to brush against parts of him. She was craving the warmth she only ever felt around him, and some small part of her wished Embry would pick her up like he usually did and carry her home so she could be enveloped in the heat.

She was taking in deep lungfulls of lakewater scent like an addict and even enduring the bits of it spoiled by the musky fragrance that was all over Jacob's clothing.

She was in deep, deep shit.

It wasn't long until they reached the narrow pathway that led to her back door. Her bedroom light was on, and Leah could just make out the tire swing her father had made for her sixth birthday as they neared the house. She could hear her mother inside, snoring lightly, and Seth was watching television in the living room. Naruto from the sounds of it. It was only a few moments before they reached the back door.

Her hand was hesitant to touch the handle.

'Uhm…' Uhm? 'Thanks for tonight.' She ignored the wild rampage in her heart and tried to suppress the urge to let his scent overwhelm her senses. Embry simply nodded once and kept looking at her, his dark hazel eyes intense and doing something strange to her breathing.

She would not be afraid with him. She would not be afraid with him. She would not be afraid with him. 'It was… it was kinda nice.' She could form better sentences. She could form better sentences. She could form better sentences. 'So I guess I'll see you some other time.'

When he still said nothing Leah turned away, fighting the slight wave of disappointment. It didn't help that her wolf was not very eager to turn away from him either.

'Leah.'

She shut her eyes, relieved, and petrified.

His calloused hand on her wrist might have been strong enough to start a revolution, but it was still gentle enough to remind her that she was a woman. Leah turned back to Embry, to the caramel face and the burning eyes full of yearning and fire. Her breathing faltered as Embry took half a step into her space, pulling her so close his scent wrapped around hers. Lakewater. Lilies. Leah gave into the primal urge to inhale greedily as his heat soaked through her skin. Passion sizzled everywhere his skin touched hers.

She should have stopped him. If this had happened just the day before, she would have stopped him. There was everything to lose if she didn't stop him. Embry was one of the few people she actually felt connected to these days, she genuinely liked him. It would hurt when it didn't work out. It wouldn't last. This was a bad idea. They were wolves, and wolves belonged to Imprints for crying out loud! But why didn't it seem to matter with him looking at her that way? Like she was something between necessity and breathing?

And why didn't she want to look away?

Embry dipped his head to her neck; his soft lips finding her collarbone as Leah's hands drifted tentatively up his chest. 'Stop me.' he growled.

The she-wolf bit her lower lip when she felt his mouth trail up to press against her jaw, and her body shivered as his hands drew softly up her back, painstakingly gentle, before fisting into her hair, insistent. 'Stop me' He growled again.

But Leah's hands only balled up the front of his shirt, her fingertips curiously trailing the buttons and dipping in to touch the heated skin underneath. When her hands smoothed desperately up to his shoulders, fingers curling into his neck, they both knew she was as far from stopping as she could get.

His lips tasted hers. And the all hell broke loose. The soft caresses gave way to scorching lust almost instantly, and they found themselves wrapped up in the brutal desires of their two wolves. It was instinctive, primitive. Embry pressed Leah against the door with a low growl, his hard length pressing deliciously against her belly as his hands searched frantically underneath Jared's clothing. She forgot how to breathe, terrified and set ablaze by how much she wanted him.

His beast wanted to toss her over his shoulder and carry her upstairs. He wanted to take her right then and there, claim her, bite her, spank her - grit his teeth as she tore through his back with her fingernails. But Embry forced himself to slow down, fought his wolf for dominance as he cupped her face and let his tongue play gently against Leah's, slowing their kiss. His man wanted to savor this, to enjoy the taste and feel of her, the heat of her soft copper skin scorching against his. She said his name again, and he lost himself in the sighs as her lashes fluttered against the warm skin of his honeyed cheeks. It was muscle and soft moans, hot breathes and gentle caresses as the wild passion became tenderness again. Leah sighed his name, pressing closer to him, and he never wanted the moment to end.

With great difficulty Embry broke the kiss, moving Leah's hands from behind his shoulder blades. She watched him wide eyed, short hair a mess, full lips bruised and skin flushed to a deep red. God he wanted to kiss her again, senseless, just so he could hear her say his name again. But he wanted to make it last too. And it wouldn't last like this. He'd never be able to forgive himself if he took advantage.

'You should get inside Lee.' He ground out, his hands fisted at his side.

For a moment, Leah looked like she might argue. But she didn't, the she-wolf simply fixed her clothing and avoided his gaze as she ran her fingers through her hair. She was probably wondering what the fuck had come over her. Maybe that was the moment she remembered the excuses that he knew would always spring up in the future. That it would hurt when it didn't work out. That it wouldn't last. It was a bad idea. They were wolves, and wolves belonged to their Imprints for crying out loud!

'Thank you for walking me home.' Leah said before she went inside.

It took every ounce of his will to do nothing as he watched her walk away.