Disclaimer: Okay, the song is from the movie "Tiny the Seventh Brother" which I watched a while ago with the kids I was babysitting. The song just seemed perfect so as to make this more emotional. Plus, the same day the radio seemed to be mocking me. Sometimes life sucks. Oh well, it always gets better. Ack, gotta go feed my baby birds again!
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It took only two days but they caught the man who had killed Greg. He claimed he was in a drug induced psychosis but no one believed him, nor cared.
Sara refused to attend the funeral, having not been able to stop herself from crying while she was awake. Catherine, Nick and Warrick took turns checking on her at random intervals during the day but none of them seemed to be able to get through to her.
She was suffering from denial and sorrow combined. Nick tried the hardest to get her to talk but with no success.
"Sara, you have to talk, it's the only way you're going to get through this," Nick insisted, watching the brunette who sat across from him at her kitchen table.
"I can't talk about this! I can't! I can't accept this! He was my best friend Nicky, how am I supposed to deal with it?" Sara asked, nearly choking on her unending sobs. Nick sighed, running a hand through his short hair.
"Why can't you talk to me Sar? Tell me why this is so hard, other than that he was your best friend. Why are you suffering like this?"
"You want to know why? Do you know what he wrote in his own blood as he was dying? Do you Nick?" Sara yelled, standing on wobbly legs as she walked to her kitchen sink, filling a glass with water.
"No Sara, I don't know what he wrote." Nick replied. Sara swung around, her eyes more hurt than he had ever seen them.
"He wrote that he loved me. His dying words were 'Sara, I love you'. And you know what? I never got to tell him that I loved him too!" And with that Sara grabbed her car keys, running from the apartment and to her car.
She slammed the keys into the ignition, starting the car with shaking hands. Throwing the gear shift into drive she pulled out onto the road and headed for the cemetery. The silence of the car left her with an eerie sorrow and she clicked on the radio. '
It seemed to Sara that even the song that was playing was against her. It described how she was feeling to a tee and it made her cry harder, having to wipe the tears away with one hand as she drove.
So lonely
Missing you each day
I pray if only
For a moment I could see
Your smiling face
You'd take away
This emptiness inside of me
But I'll be strong until we meet
It made Sara think of how she felt; she was completely empty inside now, a part of her missing from the world. Greg always filled that space with his humour, his random information, annoying habits, his flirting, his smiled, his everything.
I miss you
Long to hear you laugh again
To kiss you
Let you know that life begins
When I'm by your side
Holding you tight
You give me strength to brave it all
Faith and hope
When darkness starts to fall
She wanted to kiss him, to tell him that she loved him too. Now that he was gone her life was over, meaningless and she couldn't cope with it. All she wanted was to be in his arms forever, to let him know what he meant to her.
When the wind blows cold and threatening
Nobody's there to comfort me
Someone, somewhere hear my plea
Until then please let me know
How long 'til
I hear you singing that sweet song
Will I be there to sing along
In harmony
Just you and me
The music stops when you're not here
But my heart sings until you're near
To me
There was no music in her life, the bars and notes having fallen from grace when the insane man had sliced through Greg's throat. He had killed anything that Sara had in her heart, he had killed her love.
Oh can you even hear my cries
That call your name
Beneath the stars tonight
When the wind blows cold and threatening
Nobody's there to comfort me
Somehow, someone hear my plea
Until then I hope you know
There was no one that could comfort her, because no one knew the immense pain that she was really in.
I need you
Chase away the clouds
So I can see you
Run through fields of flowered
Like we used to do
Just we two
She needed Greg, she wanted and needed him in her life. To her, he was the air, something that she would not live without.
Hold onto the memories
Until that day
I'm holding you again
Goodnight my friend
Goodnight.
Memories were the only thing that she had left. Memories and a broken heart. She pulled into the cemetery, slamming the gear into 'park' before jumping from the vehicle and running through the rows of tombstones, falling to her knees in front of a gray one, etched with the carving of an angel and engraved with his name, and a saying.
"There are no words that can express the loss, not only of a human, but of our sense of live and laughter. He will forever be missed by all those at the Las Vegas Crime Lab, his friends, and family."
Sara gently touched the stone with her hand, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh God, Greg, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I love you, I love you so much, I can't stand being without you. Please, please don't let this be real!" she cried, her head turned upwards to the sky, begging the invisible God that resided there, or so people thought. Without warning she found herself being hugged by Catherine and Lindsey who had appeared out of no where. She buried her face in Catherine's shoulder as Lindsey watched.
After another thirty minutes Catherine got Sara back to her own can, gently helping her into the passenger's seat. Catherine drove Sara home once again, saying that Nick or Warrick would get her car later.
Lindsey talked to Nick who was still sitting at the table, dumbfounded while Catherine put Sara to bed.
"Are you going to be okay Sara? Nick or I can stay here if you want," Cath said, again suggesting that Sara not be alone.
"I'm fine…" Sara responded, rolling to the other side of the bed and away from Catherine.
"Okay, get some sleep Sara, and call Warrick or I when you wake up," Catherine said quietly, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.
Sara lay on her bed, tears still falling slowly from her dark eyes. How could she have not seen how much she needed and loved Greg before? They could have had eternity together. She could have made sure he hadn't gone back to that scene. If she had stopped thinking about what she couldn't attain, what she didn't need anymore, and thought more about what she truly was in desire of she could have saved him. Greg could have still been alive if it wasn't for her stupidity. Everything could have been different.
And with that, Sara drifted into a restless sleep, thrashing around in her bed, plagued with nightmares.
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A/N: God I hate writing sad things sometimes, but I love bringing out people's emotions. My one friend as well as my mom almost cried reading this. My opinion: "I know its depressing but still,. why cry? It's not that emotional is it?"
Let me know what you thought. I shall give you cupcakes and cookies!