Disclaimer: Don't own anything really, cept maybe the story plot…even that probably belongs to someone else if I felt like really looking into it. Lyrics are "Lost Without You" by Delta Goodrem.
Author's Note: To Dunder & Blixen One – I'm Estonian, we spell things oddly. And Two – I spelt Mosaiks with a "k" because I was looking at a "Mosaik" MasterCard I had just been using to purchase concert tickets on the internet. It means the same as mosaic just spelt differently. Don't worry, I'm not a complete idiot, I do know how to spell, I just chose to spell it that way instead.
ANYWAYS, enough with my rant, on with Chapter Four
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Sara jolted awake, her body shaking like mad. It had only been a few hours since she had fallen asleep, but again, as it had for the past few days, a nightmare about Greg had awoken her. She could remember it vividly. In her dream, instead of her just finding his body she had witnessed him being murdered, his blood no longer only on the walls and the floor but on her as well. Once she had been the one who caused his death, ripping his neck open with a knife. To Sara, that was the worse dream of all. She loved Greg; she could never hurt him like that.
She was still suffering from denial. She couldn't accept the fact that he was dead, despite actually having gone to the cemetery. Looked over at the clock she groaned, it was only 2am.
Greg's murderer, a schizophrenic man by the name of Jordan Romano, was currently sentenced to life in a psychiatric facility. He had been found covered in blood, holding a knife only a few blocks away from the warehouse. Grissom had taken his clothes and positively ID-ed the blood on them to Greg's.
"Why did all of this have to happen now?" Sara asked her lamp, a few tears making their way down her face. How was she supposed to live? Sara couldn't help it, suicidal thoughts running through her head more and more each passing day.
She knew that Greg wouldn't have wanted her to kill herself but the fact of the matter was, she could barely even stand to live each day. She hadn't been to work since that fateful night, spending her days crying and her nights plagued with nightmares.
Catherine, Nick and Warrick were keeping a constant watch on her, but Grissom, well, he had only stopped by once and called once more. He didn't seem to care that her partner, her protégé, was dead and she would never see him again.
Without even knowing what she was doing, Sara found herself in her living room, a photo album spread open on the table, displaying various pictures that Archie had taken around the lab. She gazed at one, a small smile playing on her lips.
She didn't know that the picture had even been taken at the time. It was of her and Greg, in the layout room. He had his arms around her, tickling her so as to make her laugh. She remembered that the case they had been working on had really depressed her. Greg had refused to let her leave the room until she laughed and therefore, he had started a war with her.
Now, as she sat in her darkened living room, she wanted nothing more than to have him playing his childish games with her again. Sara reached down, gently fingering the photo, her index finger tracing the outline of Greg's young face.
"How am I supposed to live without you? How? I need you Greg, I love you." She whispered before crawling back to her bed and passing out.
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Blinking her eyes Sara looked at the clock; it read 2:24 am. Her radio was mocking her again, having turned itself on.
I
know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and
too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cause I
believe that we can work things out
I thought I had all the
answers never giving in
But baby since you've gone I admit that I
was wrong
All I know is I'm lost without you
I'm
not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you
I
need you by my side
if we ever say we'll never be together
And we ended with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do...
I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is
I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you
How am I ever gonna get rid of these
blues
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so
confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind
Oh my beds so cold at night
And
I miss you more each day
only you can make it right
No I'm not too proud to say
All I know is I'm lost without you
I'm
not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you
I
need you by my side
if we ever say we'll never be together
And we ended with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do...
I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is
I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you
if I could only hold you now
And
make the pain just go away
Can't stop the tears from running down
my face
Oh
All I know is I'm lost without you
I'm
not gonna lie
How am I going to be strong without you
I
need you by my side
if we ever say we'll never be together
And we ended with goodbye
Don't know what I'd do...
I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is
I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to face the day
I'm lost without you
Sara burst out crying, how could all of this have happened? She didn't know why but she picked up the phone from her bedside table, shakily dialing Greg's cell phone number. She knew that it had probably been disconnected but she had to try, she just had to.
As she punched in the last digit she held the cordless phone to her ear, listening to the noise of the number dialing followed by the sound of ringing – no one had gotten around to disconnecting his phone yet. Just as she was about to hang up the line clicked in.
"Hello? Who the hell is this calling me at 2:30 in the morning on my day off?" Greg Sanders' angry and yet very sleepy voice growled on the other end of the line. Sara choked back a sob as her body started shaking.
"Greg, I oh my God," she cried.
"Sara? Why are you calling? What's the matter?" Greg asked, hardly even able to understand her.
"Please, please just come over – I need you here – please, oh God," she gasped out.
"Okay, okay Sara, just calm down. I'll be there in a couple minutes," Greg answered, hanging up. Sara sat up, her body still shaking as the tears ran down her face.
'Is this a dream?' She wondered. 'Or was his death a nightmare? I don't want this to be a dream, oh God, please let this be the true reality. I don't think I can live with Greg being dead for one more minute.'
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Greg got out of his SUV, jogging up the front stairs to Sara's apartment. He pulled his keys out, Sara having given him a spare key a while back when she had needed him to help her move from one apartment to another. He slid the key into the lock, clicking it open before running through the building, up two flights of stairs and down to Sara's door.
She had sounded so scared on the phone that it had frightened him. He had never heard Sara that hysterical before and it wasn't something he was exactly happy to hear. He unlocked her front door, letting himself into the dark apartment. He kicked off his shoes, dropping his jacket on top of them before walking through the blackness. It took him a minute to get to her bedroom but he finally managed (after tripping over the coffee table as well as a stack of books).
Through the tiny light of the clock, which was an eerie red, Greg could make out the shape of Sara's body under the covers. She was facing away from him, her body shaking from some unknown reason.
"Sara?" Greg asked, slowly walking over to the bed. Sara rolled over, her face covered in tears that were masked by the darkness. She instantly sat up, her arms going around him, her face buried in his neck.
"I – I thought you – oh God, I thought you were dead," she sobbed. Greg stroked her hair gently, his other arm around her waist, holding her trembling form against him.
"Dead? Well, uh, I'm not dead Sar, and I don't plan on dying anytime soon." He replied. Sara just pulled herself closer to him, having no intentions of letting go.
"I – I need to tell you this, before it's too late, I need you to know, incase something were to happen," she stammered, yawning at the same time.
"Okay," Greg answered. "But you should sleep Sara, you seem really…tired," he started, finding that Sara had fallen asleep in his arms. Whatever it was would evidently have to wait until she woke up. Greg gently laid her back down on the mattress, tentatively climbing in next to her. He didn't want to leave her alone seeing as she was obviously distressed.
'Why would she think I was dead?' He wondered, watching her as she slept. He lay there pondering for nearly twenty minutes before he felt Sara thrashing around next to him.
"Shh, its okay, I'm right here," he whispered, pulling her into an embrace. Almost instantly she calmed, relaxing against his chest, her head on his shoulder. He smiled, at least she felt safe in his arms, even if it was only from her nightmares.
He vaguely wondered what she was dreaming of, would he be dead in her dream world? Or was it perhaps, Grissom rejecting her once again? Greg didn't know, but he silently reminded himself to ask Sara when she awoke again. As he watched her sleeping in his arms, head on his shoulder and her hand over his heart he felt a jolt inside him. He loved her, he really did, and as he fell asleep, he wondered if he would ever get to tell her.
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A/N: Okay, kinda a cliff hanger, not really? So, what's real and what isn't, that's the real question, isn't it?
Please review and I'll give you French pastries, trust me, they're really yummy.