THE KEY TO VICTORY
a story written by
DELICIOUS GEARS
CHAPTER FIVE: Difficult To Cure
Things have been steadily going downhill for Ataru Moroboshi.
First, he kept running across that himbo shapechanger Rei whenever he was on one of his girl-hunts, drawing away his potential targets. It didn't help that the bastard was still pining after Lum, so he didn't even care about the ever-lengthening line of girls following behind him, like the worst game of Snake he'd ever seen.
Not only that, but he also fell into the canal six times over four days, got hit by two bicyclists, had some weird little blue devil invade his house that he still hadn't figured out how to get rid of, nearly got swallowed by a public toilet and lost both his wallet and the wallet he bought to replace it.
As he walked down the street, having had dinner at the local ramen shop, Ataru was waiting on tenterhooks for the next big disaster to come raging at him around the corner. Moments of still and calm was always the worst, because it meant that something bad was always coming around the corner. And the longer the calm lasted, as far as Ataru was concerned, the worse the next disaster could potentially be.
The sudden wail of police sirens suddenly cut through Ataru's thoughts, sending him up six feet in the air. Without thinking, he dashed down a nearby alley to avoid anyone potentially after him, running blindly through the darkness. His thoughts were a disorganised jumble of panic, a thousand questions bouncing around about who he might've pissed off now.
His panicking was promptly cut off when his foot caught on something, sending him tumbling to the ground. As he lay there on the ground, he took solace in the fact that at least he had something soft to break his fall. But when he looked down to see what he landed on, he promptly froze.
Laid out beneath him was an extremely beautiful woman. A raven haired beauty that couldn't be older than twenty five, with wild hair that seemed to flow down around her shoulders, wearing a slinky purple dress that left little to the imagination.
Ataru could only stare down at the woman's face, too struck by her beauty to do anything. As far as he knew, this woman was right up there with Lum and Oyuki, leaving Shinobu in the dust. Hell, looking at the woman's face, he could even have reason to believe that she could easily outshine both of them.
So struck by the woman's beauty was Ataru, that he barely registered her requests to get off of her until she physically shoved him off of her. He found himself face down in the dirt once more, as the woman struggled to get to her feet to get away from him.
Ataru, being the kind of person for whom not even physical violence could keep down for long, especially when it came to an attractive woman, just got to his feet and went over to her. "You feeling alright, Miss?" He kept his hands behind his back, where he could keep them still and away from her. "You look like you need some help."
"Believe me," the woman replied, "I do not need any help, and I especially don't need it fro…"
Ataru yelped as the woman's voice faded, and she toppled over, only being saved from hitting the ground by his quick reflexes.
"You sure you don't need any help?" Ataru asked. "Say, you look like you're having trouble breathing. Maybe it would help if I loosened your bra?" He yelped when the woman rapped her knuckles on the side of his head.
"I told you," the woman repeated, "I don't need any of your help!" But she was quickly sinking fast, her legs giving out from under her once more.
"Don't be stupid!" Ataru snapped back. "There's a clinic nearby that I could carry you too, it couldn't be that hard to tolerate me!"
"Obviously, you underestimate yourself…" The woman clung to Ataru, arms around his shoulders. "But if you're going to help me, you can't take me to a clinic. I need to head home, to my family shrine…"
"Well, that's fine by me!" Ataru replied, grinning. "I'll get any beauty to where they need to be, off my name isn't Moroboshi Ataru!"
"Moroboshi Ataru…?" The woman repeated faintly.
Ataru just nodded. "And what might your name be, sweetheart?"
The woman paused for a moment, before she spoke again. "Sakura. My name is Sakura…"
"C'mon, Lum!" Ryuunosuke shouted, as she started getting dressed, tossing her pajamas into a hamper. "Time to get up! I'm not gonna wait for you, y'know!" She quickly pulled on her school uniform, thankful that Lum managed to convince Tomobiki's faculty to let her wear a bra under her uniform instead of her old cloth bandage.
Unfortunately, Lum wasn't able to convince the school board to let Ryuunosuke wear a girls' sailor uniform instead of her boys' uniform. According to the Principal, her father put in a clause in the school rules that required her to wear a boys' uniform until she either graduated or beat her father in a "trial by combat". Now that her father was now no longer a resident of Earth, Ryuunosuke was stuck wearing the boys uniform for good.
Behind her, Lum stirred from her sleep, crawling out of her big fluffy bed. Ryuunosuke's own bed was already made, the sheets smoothed out neatly. Lum wanted to sleep in a double with her Darling, but the nights of constant interruption due to night-time electric shocks played hell with Ryuunosuke's day. So, to her disappointment, Lum slept in a separate bed next to her Darling's, taking solace in the fact that Ryuunosuke was getting really comfortable with sharing a room with her, changing with her, et cetera.
Ryuunosuke quickly went out into the kitchen, looking behind her one last time. "I'm gonna go make breakfast, then head off..." The tone in her voice carried the implication that she would go on ahead without Lum if she could.
So Lum sighed, and tossed off her duvet, letting the robot arms come out of the wall to make her bed for her. Within moments, she had already pulled on her uniform, and floated into the kitchen, where Ryuunosuke was grilling fish in a skillet for breakfast. The smell of freshly cooked rice filled the room, helping to lure Lum out of her sleepy haze.
"You don't have to go to such trouble, Darling." Lum hung in the air beside her fiancée, legs up against her knees. "You know the house can do fully automatic cooking, right?"
Ryuunosuke turned to look at Lum. "If I don't do something around this house, I ain't gonna be much of a wife for you, am I?" She deftly plucked the grilled mackerel from the pan, placing the slices on two small plates that she placed on the low table. "I don't like the idea of being lazy, especially in front of you."
Lum's cheeks reddened. "Darling, do you think that much about me?"
"It's the least I could do," Ryuunosuke said quietly, popping open the rice cooker and filling two bowls with rice. "Since I'm living here with you as your..." Her lips tightened, the words getting stuck in her throat. Instead, she just carried the rice over, along with two bowls of pickles; normal vegetables for herself, and a bowl of extra-spicy kimchi for Lum.
Lum couldn't help but smile as the breakfast was placed in front of her. The kimchi especially made her happy; it reminded her that her Darling really cared about her, even when she looked like she wished she wouldn't. These little things gave her hope that her Darling could love her after all, even if she can never admit it.
After breakfast, Ryuunosuke grabbed her bookbag and pulled on her sneakers, before stepping out of the house. Lum quickly floated behind her, only stopping to pull her own shoes on, and wrap a scarf around her neck. Summer had gone, and now the days were getting colder; the students have changed to their winter uniforms, and the leaves were turning darker and browner. It wouldn't be long now, until Winter came along.
Over the wall Ryuunosuke could see Shinobu standing silently outside the front gate. Shinobu usually walked to the Moroboshis' to get Ataru, but recently had started walking with Ryuunosuke and Lum instead. But then, Ryuunosuke hadn't seen Ataru in days...
"Morning, Shinobu." Ryuunosuke waved as she stepped past the force-field "gate" and into the street. "Where's Moroboshi gone?"
Shinobu turned to look at Ryuunosuke, the look on her face already making her regret her words. It was the kind of expression that she was glad that she wasn't on the receiving end of, and made her pity the poor bastard that caused it.
"He's gone somewhere," Shinobu said, in an eerily soft voice. "Where he's gone, I just don't know." She promptly looked away. "I'm going to school now." And before Ryuunosuke could say anything, she already started walking double-time towards school, her bookbag held tightly in her hands.
Ryuunosuke and Lum exchanged a look with each other, before quickly following Shinobu to school.
But when the girls got to the school, they were confronted with quite the unusual sight: the front yard of the school was absolutely full of boys, just milling around, as if waiting for something. None of the other girls were around, apart from Shinobu standing amongst them, equally as confused as Ryuunosuke and Lum were.
Ryuunosuke quickly made her way to the nearest young man milling around, which conveniently turned out to be one of Megane's entourage. "Hey! What's going on, man?"
The boy turned to Ryuunosuke, a look of anticipation on his face. "Haven't you heard, Fujinami? We've got a new school nurse coming, and she's a stone fox! A real robo-babe!"
Lum hovered up behind Ryuunosuke. "A robo-babe? Is she an android? Or maybe a cyborg?" She looked down at Ryuunosuke, a curious look on her face. "I didn't think Earth teach was enough for proper cyborgs, let alone androids!"
Ryuunosuke stared at Lum blankly. The boy, however, just seemed to tune her out, as he noticed a flurry of activity near the front of the school. He promptly grabbed Ryuunosuke's shoulder. "She's coming! Form a line!"
Before Ryuunosuke could respond, she was promptly yanked back to stand between the boy and what looked like a fine specimen of the school rugby team. Lum, now fully confused, looked along the two rows of young men (plus Ryuunosuke) that made a path down to the front door of the school. As Lum watched, all heads turned to look towards the school gate.
For a moment, everything was silence. All of the boys stood perfectly stock still, not even making a sound. Just like Lum, Ryuunosuke was somewhat confused as to what was going on. But that was before her ears picked up the sound of stiletto heels on the tarmac beyond the school gate, slowly coming closer.
A tall, raven haired woman turned the corner, and stepped through the gate. It probably would've been an understatement to say that this woman was particularly beautiful. But it wasn't an understatement to say that many of the young men who looked at her were left breathless at the sight. Every single head turned to follow the woman as she walked down the parade of young men surrounding her, little else than a single raised eyebrow betraying her reaction to this unusual display.
As the woman passed by Ryuunosuke, she turned to give her a look that bored into her. It was like Ryuunosuke's body was frozen in place by her gaze. Her glittering black eyes just seemed to bore into her soul, and Ryuunosuke was torn between wanting to run or wanting to reach out towards her and, and...
...and do what?
The woman passed Ryuunosuke by, and continued down to the door of the school. As she stepped inside, everything was quiet once more. And then, seconds later, everyone suddenly went crazy, exploding into crazed jubilation. Ryuunosuke ended up getting buffeted around by lust-crazy boys, Lum clinging onto her shoulders and having to drag her away.
But still, Ryuunosuke couldn't get the eyes of that woman out of her mind. Which was kind of worrying when you've got your fiancée hanging over your head, looking at you real suspiciously. The look on Lum's face promptly poured cold water on any thought of that raven-haired woman.
But the raven-haired woman was the topic of conversation between the classmates, almost all the time. Ryuunosuke listened in on a conversation between a couple of boys during a break, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible.
"You saw her down at the courtyard, right? You gotta see her again!"
"Yeah, but the school nurse? Ain't she gonna be kinda busy all day?"
"Yeah, right! You gotta make your excuses, right? You gotta feign some kind of illness, and then you're seeing her as much as you like!"
"Is it that easy?"
"It's either that, or you're gonna have to slam your skull into the wall or something. I heard that some of the boys here are gonna throw themselves down the stairs. Maybe if they say that some of the other boys threw them down, they could score some real sympathy points!"
"Yeah, but if they do it all at the same time, are they just gonna end up looking weird? I mean, who's gonna shove a bunch of boys down the stairs?"
"Well, I heard that Sadoyama from the Torture Club is volunteering as an assistant! Have you seen the muscles on that guy? He's probably spent his childhood sucking down roids like no other!"
Ryuunosuke shivered deeply at their words. The last thing that she wanted to hear about was her fellow students plotting to hurt themselves to see a school nurse. Even a school nurse as beautiful as that woman who just stepped past her that very morning.
The feeling was only made worse as the day wore on. More and more boys seemed to disappear from class, usually after making their excuses, or asking to go to the bathroom. None of them returned.
By the time that lunch-time had rolled around, almost a third of the boys were still in the classroom. The teacher either didn't seem to notice or care, more concerned with trying to get through his lesson plan than anything else. But all the girls were looking around, expressions of confusion and panic on their faces.
Suddenly, a hand shot up. "Sensei, I'm not feeling so good! I need to see the school nurse!"
"Alright," the teacher said, his voice dull. "Just get back-"
"NO!"
The scream was accompanied with a loud crash.
Everyone turned to look at Shinobu, standing in the middle of the classroom, her desk split in two by some tremendous impact. Already, everyone could tell how it ended up like that, by the wild-eyed look on the schoolgirl's face.
"Miyake-san," the teacher said, "please sit do-"
"NO!" Shinobu shrieked, making the teacher flinch back. "I'm NOT letting another boy leave this classroom! I know he's just going there because he wants to see the new school nurse!"
"Of course, Miyake-san," the teacher said, in a reasonable tone. "That's what the school nurse is for, right?" He looked at the faces of his students, hoping for agreement. But instead, he found himself the target of the irate glares of every girl in the classroom. "Right? Right?"
"You're disgusting, sensei!" Shinobu shouted, pointing a shaking finger at the teacher. "I always feared that you would prefer the boys over us, but I didn't think you would be so brazen about it!"
The teacher tried to smile, but his lips were quivering. "I'm only trying to be reasonable here!" He backed away further, pressing his back against the chalkboard. "If you're sick, you're supposed to see the school nurse! It's so basic that it doesn't even need to be in the student handbook!"
"How do you even know he's sick?!" Shinobu shouted, pointing to the hapless boy, who was now hiding his face. "For all we know, he's just lying as an excuse to get out of class!"
And with that, she stomped over to the young man, and grabbed him roughly by the shoulders. "You're lying, aren't you?! I can tell you are! Show your face, this instant!"
The boy rose to his feet. Shinobu glanced at her face as he did so, and promptly shrieked at the top of her lungs, before fainting dead to the floor. And as the boy turned around, the other students leapt out of their seats to crowd the walls of the classroom, leaving him alone.
The boy's face was covered in boils and sores, each of them at bigger than a five yen coin at the least. And worse, while some were red, others were yellow, purple, and even green.
Everyone gaped in horror at the boy's face, causing an ugly silence to fill the classroom.
After a moment, the teacher pointed to the door. "I think you better see the school nurse."
The boy suddenly whooped with joy, leaping into the air. "This is the greatest day of my life!" And then he slammed open the classroom door so hard that the glass cracked, and barged out into the hallway, shouting for joy.
"I'm coming, Sakura-sensei!"
The teacher blinked, and turned towards his class. "Who's Sakura-sensei?"
Everyone sat back heavily in their chairs. Thankfully, a second later, the bell chimed in to signal the end of class.
Ryuunosuke quietly went over, and dragged Shinobu over to her desk, propping her up in her chair. Then, she turned to Lum, who hovered beside her with a pensive look on her face.
"Hey," Ryuunosuke said, "you don't think there's anything weird about that dude's face, do ya?"
"Of course," Lum replied, tapping a finger against her cheek. "It almost looks like Orionian Hives, but the colours look all strange. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad as the real thing?"
Ryuunosuke swallowed hard. "Is that cause it's contagious?"
"Well, not by much," Lum said thoughtfully, "but Orionian Hives would be pretty serious, because after forty-eight hours of manifesting those big spots, they're gonna burst and spit out Orionian Larvae that'll practically eat his face off."
Ryuunosuke's eyes widened. "Okay, that wasn't what I wanted to hear. Or expected, either."
Lum looked towards Ryuunosuke. "Darling, we have to find that nurse! If he's down with Orionian Hives, then there's no telling what other diseases these boys are gonna come down with!"
Ryuunosuke nodded. "Yeah, I get ya, but how are we gonna have a good excuse to go see her?"
Suddenly, a voice rose up from behind him. "Guys! I think something is wrong with Moroboshi! He's limper than a wet noodle! And he's not moving a muscle!"
Ryuunosuke and Shinobu exchanged another glance, before they both turned to see a group of boys crowded around Ataru. One of the boys had grabbed his face and was stretching his cheeks, while another had his hands and were flapping them around. Another boy grabbed his legs, bending them every which way.
"I guess we got our excuse," Ryuunosuke said, before she went over and grabbed Ataru, lifting him up onto her back. "I'll take care of him! Lum, I think you'd better bring Shinobu, too!"
Lum made a face. "Why do I have to carry Shinobu? You have any idea how heavy she is?!"
"You think I could carry more than one guy, and work the doors, too?" Ryuunosuke lugged Ataru to the door. "Come on, already!"
Lum sighed deeply. "Fine..." She floated over to Shinobu, and lifted her up, arms hooked under the brunette's, like she was trying to lift up a sleeping cat. Lum strained as she lifted Shinobu higher, but barely got high enough to have only Shinobu's toes still touching the ground. She puffed like a steam engine as she dragged Shinobu along, feet trailing behind her, out into the hallway after her Darling.
Unfortunately, the two girls were sorely under-prepared for the sight that greeted them as they rounded the corner to the nurse's station. The entire hallway was practically packed end to end with boys, crowding around the door into the station. Some of them were already swaddled with bandages and covered with plasters. Some had spots of various colours, just like the boy with the Orionian Hives. Some had patches of skin that were coloured a dark green with hazard orange stripes, and others had skin tinged grey or blue, and faces that seemed to be shrunken.
Lum could only gape in horror. "What happened here?! If these are all boys in our class, then they couldn't possibly be sick like this!" She turned to Ryuunosuke, her eyes flashing. "You don't honestly think..."
Ryuunosuke's face was grim. "This is definitely because of that school nurse. Something about those woman's eyes..." Her eyes went distant as the memory of the dark, glittering eyes of the raven-haired woman floated into her mind. So dark and alluring, like they could just suck you, in like a black hole...
"Darling?" Lum hovered closer, a frown on her face. "You better not be thinking of that woman too!" Her body crackled with electricity as she hovered closer. "Don't think I would fry your sorry butt too, Darling. I mean it!"
Ryuunosuke twitched at the electric buzz that seemed to emanate from Lum's body, the crackle yanking her out of that strange reverie. She shuddered, shaking her head; Lum was probably watching her like a hawk.
The two girls looked around the crowded hallway, and then decided that it was a better idea to just head straight for the door. But as they neared the door, some of the boys advanced threateningly on them, their sickly faces contorted with rage.
"You're not jumping the queue! Get to the back of the line!"
"We've been waiting ages to see Sakura-sensei! If you wanna see here, you're gonna wait your turn like the rest of us! And you'd better not bring Moroboshi in here, either!"
Ryuunosuke shrank back slightly from the advancing mob. But Lum floated in her place, obviously unimpressed. Instead, she turned around and all-but tossed Shinobu into Ryuunosuke, before turning back around to the mob.
"You really wanna try us? Go ahead!" She floated herself higher, the electricity crackling out of her body. "I'm itching to give someone a full electric treatment!" She snarled at the boys, her sharp fangs glinting.
The boys stared at Lum's angry face, and her bared sharp teeth, and promptly took a couple of steps back.
"On second thought," one of the boys said, "if you want to see Sakura-sensei that badly, we're not gonna stop you! Just step on inside!"
Ryuunosuke sighed, and nodded. Lum just huffed, and floated over to the nurse's door, holding it open for Ryuunosuke to lug Shinobu and Ataru inside. As she closed the door behind her, she gave them a smile.
"We won't be long now!"
Inside the nurse's station, it wasn't much better. Almost every bed was occupied with boys covered in bandages, plasters, large spots of various colours or various combinations of the three. And because of all the occupied beds, all the rest of the boys currently inside the room had to sit on a chair, or lay on the floor. To Ryuunosuke's surprise, she noticed several of the rugby team among their number, mostly covered in spots or patches of green and orange, despite being the picture of perfect health that very morning.
And there, sitting in a rolling chair smack bang in the middle of it all, was the raven haired beauty herself. A long white coat draped over her body, hiding the tasteful purple blouse and short black skirt. One long leg was elegantly crossed over the other, a white pump dangling off her toes as she examined her notes.
Ryuunosuke stood stock still in front of the nurse, unable to move. It was like even being in the presence of the woman had her rooted to the spot. It was the kind of beauty that seemed to overwhelm her completely, like some kind of giant wave that would wash her away. Not even Lum could compare to this beauty...
Then Ryuunosuke blinked, and shook her head again. Lum was still right beside her...!
She turned, and her eyes widened as she saw Lum hovering beside her, her jaw hanging open, and her cheeks flushed deeply. Like with her, it was like the sheer force of her beauty had crashed down on her and washed her away.
Ryuunosuke swallowed hard, guilt and embarrassment welling up inside of her. She really was no better than the other boys in the school, or at least the boys that didn't dare injure themselves as an excuse to see this woman. And she couldn't even take solace in the fact that Lum was equally paralysed, for all that said about the strange nurse.
Ryuunosuke cleared her throat, steeling herself as tightly as she could. "Sensei? Sakura-sensei?"
The woman, who was apparently named Sakura, turned to look at Ryuunosuke with her deep black eyes. Her white pump slipped off her toes and fell to the floor with a thud. "Don't tell me... Is it tuberculotic homosexuality?"
Ryuunosuke blinked. "Tuber-what?"
"Tuberculotic homosexuality," Sakura went on, sliding her shoe back on and standing up. "A disease that seems to effect the mind as well as the body. It seems to be quite the rare disease as of late, until I found these two in my office."
Sakura motioned over to two boys wrapped up in an embrace, their faces pinched and greying. "They've been claiming they were infected just this morning, and have come down with the symptoms just now. I would've just dismissed it as a creative excuse to come here, if not for their deteriorating health..."
Lum blinked. "Wait, you mean they're actually sick?" She floated over to the boys, pulling something from under her uniform top. "That can't be right. How could somebody just catch homosexuality? That sounds like something Darling's daddy might think..."
"Hey, I didn't believe it myself!" One of the boys protested. "We thought it would be funny, but then my bro just started being sick, and now I'm really scared! I don't want to lose him!"
Lum just nodded, waving the little gizmo over the boy's face. "Don't worry, I hope we'll get to the bottom of this! You and your boyfriend will be just fine..."
"But he's not my boyfriend," the other boy protested, "we're just bros!" But his protests were quickly interrupted by a wet, hacking cough.
"Don't strain yourself, bro!" The first boy protested. "You don't have the energy for the tsundere routine!"
Ryuunosuke winced inwardly, and looked over at Sakura. "Look, I dunno about tuberculotic homosexuality, but I got someone here who is practically comatose. I hope that you can help, because no-one else is!"
Sakura looked down at the sprawled out, unconscious form of Ataru Moroboshi, a somewhat pinched expression on her face. Then she raised her foot and jabbed a sharp heel in his chest.
"Well, I should know," Sakura said, finally. "After what we'd put him through last week, I'd fully expected something might happen."
Ryuunosuke blinked.
Lum shook out of her reverie, her eyes wide.
Shinobu jerked awake, sitting bolt upright. She turned to Sakura, her eyes blazing.
"WHAT," she ground out, "DID YOU JUST SAY?"
Sakura sighed deeply, and sat back in her chair. "Looks like I'm going to have to give you a detailed explanation, aren't I?" She raised her head up once more. "Uncle, could you at least be helpful for once and help explain what happened?"
"Of course, my dear niece." A voice spoke from behind Ryuunosuke's ear. "Where would you like to begin?"
Ryuunosuke turned around to the source of the voice. And lo, she saw probably the second ugliest face that she had ever seen in her life. Bald, broad, wrinkled and impassive. It stared into her eyes like the eyes of a withered corpse.
Ryuunosuke shrieked, and stumbled backwards over a chair, landing hard on her back. Shinobu and Lum scrambled away from the horrifying visage, their eyes wide.
Said horrifying visage belonged to a small old man, about as tall as a moderately grown child. He wore the traditional vestments of a Buddhist monk, with prayer beads hung around his body, and a takuhatsugasa- the traditonal domed straw hat- sitting on his head.
"My name," the monk announced to no-one in particular, "is Sakurambou. But I would much prefer if you call me Cherry."
Ryuunosuke blinked. "Cherry?"
"I took the name in the honour of my monastic life," the monk explained. "At first, it may be all soft and sweet on the outside. But once you get into it, it is simply the pits."
Ryuunosuke toppled forward to slam face-first on the floor, along with Lum. Shinobu flopped back weakly to the floor. Even Sakura stumbled forward and had to grab a trolley of supplies to keep herself upright.
"Uncle, stop making stupid jokes and help us with this!"
The old monk just stared at Sakura. "With what, exactly?"
Sakura's face reddened and contorted with anger. "With him! With this stupid boy who I've ended up running across time and time again!"
"He does have a habit of doing that, doesn't he?" Cherry said, prodding Ataru's prone body with his staff. "Though after what you put him through when you brought him home, I wouldn't be surprised if he's the source of all the maladies plaguing this school."
Shinobu struggled to get himself to a sitting position once more. "What are you talking about? Why did you bring Ataru home with you?" She looked up at Sakura once more, her face creased and her hair becoming increasingly frayed. "Don't tell me you let him seduce you..."
"No!" Sakura said, almost as soon as the words left Shinobu's lips, and loud enough to wake the dead. "What we experienced that day was purely spiritual! It was a religious experience!"
Shinobu's face quickly went from red to purple.
Cherry grimaced at Shinobu's horrified reaction. "I think that maybe she took that in precisely the wrong direction from what you intended, my dear." He stepped a little bit closer to Shinobu. "Excuse me, miss? I can assure you that my niece had no unseemly intentions towards the boy here. In fact, I'd think that maybe the very thought would make her quite sick..."
The purple quickly faded away from Shinobu's face, but the red was still there. In direct contrast, Sakura's face was already turning an interesting shade of green.
"See, we had brought the boy here because his unique situation was necessary for an exorcism we were performing. You see..." He prodded Ataru with his cane, causing him to roll over. "This boy seems to be quite unique. I haven't seen a person with so much bad vibes in him in my life!"
Shinobu blinked in confusion. "Bad vibes?"
"He is practically brimming with misfortune!" Cherry said. "An almost bottomless font of bad luck and bitterness gushes up from within! Even his very face has all the features that would bring a person nothing but trouble! Although maybe that's less to do with him than what his parents gave him..."
Shinobu looked away, the red fading from her face. "Ataru-kun always seemed to be so troubled. He was born on Friday the 13th, after all. And it was in April, too!" She blinked for a moment, as something came to her. "I remember his mother told me than when she went into labour, they went under three ladders, tripped over a black cat and knocked over a stall of rock salt during that big earthquake..."
Ryuunosuke blinked. "Wait, seriously?"
Shinobu nodded. "And they accidentally drove through this giant mirror that some guys were carrying across the road, too..." A pensive expression crossed her face. "I wonder if that's just seven years, or if there would be more because it was so big..."
"In any case," Sakura said slowly, and through gritted teeth, "we thought we could make use of his habit of attracting misfortune like a magnet in order to deal with some issues I've had..."
"Ah, yes..." Cherry said, tilting his head back. "You see, Sakura had been a sickly girl ever since she was a child. She was always plagued by bad spirits bringing her illness after illness. We thought that maybe we could use the boy in a ritual to transfer the illness spirits from her onto him, so she could be healthy!"
Shinobu and Ryuunosuke gaped at the two in utter shock. Then the two looked over at the body of Ataru, still on the floor, unconscious.
"You mean that you used Ataru-kun as a guinea pig in some sort of twisted experiment?!" Shinobu asked, her eyes wide. "Just so you could get rid of some bad vibes and plague him further?!"
"Well, to be quite honest," Cherry replied, "it's not like we thought we could make his life any worse. You have to admit, even before now, he's had a lousy life."
"As lousy as his personality!" Sakura said finally. "I'm not sorry about having to unload all my bad spirits on him, not when he latched onto me like such a limpet!"
"Yeah, that's all well and nice," Ryuunosuke said, "but that ain't explaining how everyone's getting all these weird sickness today."
"Well, that can be fixed right now," Lum said. "Lemme take a sample..."
Lum grabbed several bunches of cotton swabs and a stack of petri dishes, and went around the room with them. Within minutes, she managed to collect a healthy amount of samples from various boys, placing the dishes on an appropriately clean desk. "Now I just gotta get something from my book bag..."
Ryuunosuke followed Lum as she pulled her book bag out of Somewhere, and started rifling through it. "You got an idea of how to get rid of all these weird diseases?" She asked, hope in her voice.
"Pretty much," Lum replied, pulling out what looked like a portable LCD TV connected to a pair of large lenses. "We're going to talk to the viruses themselves!"
Ryuunosuke blinked, and stared at Lum switched on the LCD set. "Excuse me?"
"We're going to talk to the viruses!" Lum explained, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Since they're out here making all the boys sick, it's only natural that we get their side of the story!"
Ryuunosuke looked back at Cherry and Sakura. "Well, as long as it makes sense to her, right?" Then she turned back to watch, as Lum slid a petri dish in front of the LCD set, and flipped out what looked like a large lens array. With a couple of twists and adjustments, the little screen came to life, showing an extremely magnified array of ambling cells in the middle of the dish.
"Here we go!" Lum said, as she zoomed in further and further, until the screen could show one single cell, magnified over a thousand times.
In the time it took, Shinobu had mostly recovered enough to get to her feet again. She peered over Lum's shoulder at the screen, and the tiny assortment of cells therein. "Is that the influenza?" She leaned in closer, examining the cells. "They look... upset by something?"
"Sure looks it," Lum replied. She leaned in closer to the screen. "Hey! You there! Why are you looking so upset for?"
To Shinobu and Ryuunosuke's surprise, the influenza virus seemed to perk up and turn to look towards them. The cells seemed to bunch together into a clump, arranging themselves into a handy little group.
"Oh, thank goodness!" The flu virus replied. "Somebody who seems to have their head on straight for once! We were just trying to get to that big piece of prime real estate round about here, but we got sideswiped by some strange-looking tuberculosis cells, and now we have no idea where we cropped up."
"Prime real estate?" Shinobu asked. "They can't mean Ataru-kun, can they?"
"Well, we did hear they were a human male, aged sixteen to twenty one," the virus went on. "We hoped to stake a claim there, but it's all utter chaos. There are tenants putting up shop that we've never even seen before!"
Lum quickly shut the screen off, and turned to Sakura. "Tenants they've never seen before..."
Shinobu's face was full of worry. "That must be bad, if there's diseases that not even an influenza virus is familiar with..."
Sakura reached down and grabbed Ataru, hauling him up onto the desk. "Then maybe your technology could figure out exactly what's wrong with this boy?"
"Well," Lum said, "I can try my best." She brought the little LCD set over to Ataru, pulling out a small cord from the side to stick up one nostril. "It shouldn't take long with this thing..." She prodded the console, which sprang to life once more, and started showing an outline of a human body. Slowly, the outline started to fill in with various bright colours, all swarming and mixing around inside of him.
Lum gaped at the little screen in shock. "This is impossible!"
Shinobu quickly got up in Lum's face. "What's impossible? Don't tell me that Ataru-kun's on the verge of death!"
"He might as well be!" Lum said. "According to my machine, that boy has practically every disease that it's possible for the human body to have! They're just clustered in there so tightly that they're literally battling each other for space, spilling out everywhere and infecting others!"
Shinobu's eyes bugged out. "Every disease? As in every disease known to mankind?"
Lum looked aside at Ataru with worry. "If not all, then just most of them, along with some known to onikind, too!" Then she looked over at Sakura. "It must've been because of you and your disease spirits!"
Shinobu perked up, and turned to stare at Sakura. "You're right! If they all got latched onto Ataru, then they attracted all this disease to the school!" She pointed a finger at Sakura. "This whole situation was created because of you! It's all your fault!"
Sakura was silent for a long moment, her face completely still. Then she turned to Shinobu. "I suppose you're right. But it still felt good to be able to walk down the street without fainting..." She turned to Cherry. "Uncle, I'm going to need your help if we're going to exorcise these demons!"
Cherry blinked. "An exorcism? Now?"
Sakura didn't answer, but instead dramatically shucked off her long white coat. As it fell away, she was suddenly wearing a full shrine maiden outfit, her hair held back with a white headband, a pair of lit candles held inside.
"For the sake of the health of this school," she said to no-one in particular, "I must fight!"
"Well, whatever works," Ryuunosuke said, slowly backing away from Sakura and Ataru. Her discomfort with the situation had promptly rocketed past her limit and punched through the ceiling, reaching up into the lower atmosphere. She would rather get out of the way and let whatever Sakura go along with whatever she was planning to do.
As everyone around her backed away in fear, Sakura drew out her rod of purification in one hand, and a sheaf of ofuda in the other. With quick, smooth motions, she plastered Ataru's body in the ofuda, before swinging the rod over him, muttering a mantra to herself as she did so.
Shinobu forced herself to edge in closer as Sakura performed her rites, inching her way closer. She looked between Sakura and the still body of Ataru with worry in her eyes, hands clutched in close to her chest, as if to hold down the panic rising in her heart.
Then she stumbled back as Ataru suddenly rose up to sit bolt upright, his eyes open wide. For a moment, relief washed over her, and she moved to rush to Ataru's side. But she was stopped by Cherry pushing his small body in the way.
"Don't get any closer!" Cherry shouted. "That boy's still under the evil spirits' spell!"
Shinobu looked at Ataru's face. Sure enough, Ataru's eyes were blank and unfocused, staring into space. His face was completely emotionless, a cold stare coming from near-dead eyes.
"So there's still life in that boy yet!" Sakura muttered. "Time for the next step!"
"Man, really?" one of the boys said. "I hoped that he would be actually dead!" He shrank back when Shinobu gave him a truly poisonous look. And he shrank back even further when Ataru's head turned, to give him a dead-eyed look.
Ryuunosuke stared at Ataru in surprise and confusion. "Hey, Moroboshi's heard ya!"
Shinobu blinked, and turned to look at Ataru again. "Ataru-kun?! What's wrong?"
Sakura stepped closer to Ataru, her brow furrowing. "Moroboshi? Can you hear me?"
Ataru's head turned to look at Sakura with the same dead eyes. But then, slowly, his face split into a truly hideous grin. Even more hideous than the grins than most of the students had seen on him up to that point. Even Shinobu would've ranked that grin among the top ten most disgusting grins she's ever seen him pull in her life.
And then Ataru started to laugh. A high pitched, keening laugh that drilled into the eardrums to spike into the soul. Some of the other boys, barely understanding what was going on, started laughing along.
Sakura just stared at Ataru in utter confusion. Especially at his teeth, because from her perspective, they looked less like human teeth and more like a set of fangs.
And then Ataru launched himself at Sakura, knocking her onto the floor, and sank his teeth into her breast. Sakura screeched, jamming her foot into Ataru's side in hopes of dislodging him.
Shinobu was already on him before Sakura hit the ground, grabbing Ataru by the back of his jacket. "ATARU! I can't believe you!" Ryuunosuke quickly ran over, grabbed one of his arms and the waistband of his pants and started pulling along with her.
"Moroboshi, you son of a bitch!" One of the boys yelled. "We didn't even get Sakura to talk to us, let alone touch her!" Within seconds, some of the other boys ran up to grab every part of Sakura that they can, roughly pulling her back against Ryuunosuke and Shinobu.
Lum stared at the crazed tug of war below her, Ataru being pulled back and forth between Ryuunosuke, Shinobu, Sakura and several of the more healthy boys in the room, with a mounting sense of horror. Quickly, she racked her brain for some kind of plan to save Sakura before she really got injured. But then her thoughts were derailed as the struggle started to loosen slowly...
Then Lum looked closer, and her eyes widened as she noticed the reason why. Something was slowly being pulled out from Ataru's mouth, big and green and fanged. One by one, the various participants of the tug of war noticed the big green demon being pulled out of Ataru's mouth, and quickly started pulling harder and harder, straining against the strange beast simultaneously trying to keep his teeth on Sakura, and his grip on Ataru's inside.
But eventually the monster lost his grip, and Ataru rocketed backwards to slam into the far wall with Ryuunosuke and Shinobu. The three slid down into a tangled pile of limbs on the floor, barely cognisant of what was going on.
Almost immediately, the other boys descended on the big green demon, an orgy of violence with an unwilling participant caught in the middle, only managing to avoid serious injury through divine providence. Eventually, she prised the demon's teeth away, and scrambled over to the pile of kids on the other side of the wall.
"So that's what happened to those bad spirits!" Sakura gasped out. "They must have... fused together and metastasized into a full on demon of disease! That's why he's been attracting all these diseases and making up their own! It's because of that thing that was gestating in him!"
Lum hovered over to Sakura. "Is there any way we can get rid of it?"
Sakura grit her teeth. "Only my rod of purification could, but with those boys in the way, I won't even be able to touch him..."
Lum just grinned. "Oh, then that's no problem!" And before Sakura could do or say anything, she swooped over to the rod of purification and plucked it up from the floor. She grinned as she rose high in the air, her body crackling with electricity.
Lum pointed the tip of the rod at the green demon, still fighting against the mob of other boys. Her body started to glow a bright neon blue, her hair rising upwards as the power flowed through her, focusing into the rod itself.
"Divine Retribution!"
For a moment, everything was still. And in the next, a massive bolt of lightning burst out from the tip of the wand, and struck the mob full force. As the lightning struck, the room was filled with blinding light, and a loud boom roared through the air, shattering the glass windows.
And then, all at once, the light faded. Everyone was left blinking their eyes, trying to get rid of the blinding white. Slowly, the white faded, to reveal the sight of a black, charred spot on the floor, around which was sprawled several unconscious boys. The demon was nowhere to be seen.
Sakura gaped at the smouldering, ashen spot on the floor. "Amazing... You managed to purify the demon on your first try." She turned towards Lum. "How could a oni-woman manage to purify a demon?!"
Lum turned to glare at Sakura. "Are you suggesting that I'm not pure enough?!" Her body started crackling once more.
Sakura swallowed hard, and slowly backed away.
Ryuunosuke quickly got to her feet, and scrambled over to Lum. "Alright, alright! Can we take a break now? We managed to get rid of that demon, so we're gonna get rid of all of those diseases, right?"
Lum nodded, landing on the floor. "Yeah, pretty much." She paused, pondering something. "Well, except for that influenza virus. Maybe they'll just spread around the school, now that all the other diseases are gone..."
Ryuunosuke blinked, then exchanged a glance with Shinobu.
Quickly, Shinobu pulled out a facemask from her book bag. "Here, take this. I always keep a spare, just in case."
Ryuunosuke grabbed the facemask, quickly pulling it on. Then she looked over at Ataru's still unconscious body. "What about Moroboshi?"
"Oh, don't worry about him," Shinobu replied. "Everybody knows that idiots can't get sick."
to be continued
NOTES: I know that I said in the last chapter's notes that the next would have Oyuki in it, but that was before I realised that I might be skipping over a couple of other characters first. She'll be coming soon, though, don't worry about that.
Right now, I'm just getting comfortable with trying to bring out more episodes of this and The Disciple. If I want to keep on being a fanfic writer, I need to be consistent and punctual, so this is just my way of keeping the content pipeline flowing.
More is coming, of course. Oyuki will be here soon, I promise.