Chapter 11: Winning back the love
"What?"
"I… I found a bottle of Vicodin in one of your bags"
"Oh…"
"How long, John?"
"I… have no idea. I… It was a way that I found to deal with your missing"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I… didn't want to worry you"
"You realized that I was more worried that you didn't tell me? I thought we had a relationship"
"We do, but…"
"But what, John? You fooled me all this time. And I was stupid to believe" – She said, tears in her eyes
"Abby, listen to me" – He said, trying to control himself – "I'm sorry. Really. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have told you"
"John… I understand. I'll go with you to the meetings. But we should take a break"
"No, Abby, please. I told you I'm sorry. I'll go to the meetings and do everything I have to do. But let's not take a break"
"I need to think"
"No, I can't be without you. And I won't be able to control myself"
She got nothing to say. He was right.
"Ok, ok. We won't take a break. But I'll stay at my place for a while. Then we decide what to do"
"Abby, I'm not a drug addicted! Why you keep treating me like one?"
"Ok, right. I won't leave"
He hugs her. She looks right in the eyes, making him look away. She lifts his face and turns it to face hers. And he says:
"Tell me"
"What?"
"That you promise never to leave me"
"I'll never leave you. I'll always be by your side, no matter what"
After saying that, she slowly closes her eyes. He slowly leans over and touches her lips with his
"This feels so good"
He leans over again and kisses her more passionately. They both don't want to pull back.
I'm convinced. I had no idea of how much he loves me
I hope I could make her realize that we are meant to be, we belong together.
They hesitate to pull back, it was so sweet that they don't want it to end
"You know, we don't need separate if we don't want"
He smiles for knowing he wasn't the only one who thought this way. And he kisses her again. Minutes later…
"I'm glad we fix this" – She said, holding his hand
"Yeah, but there's something that bothers me"
"What?"
"Why did you drink that day?"
"I don't wanna talk about it anymore. But it was because I found the Vicodins in your bag
He holds her hand tighter. She continues speaking
"But that's not gonna happen again. I don't want to put the babies' lives in danger. That's way I'm gonna to the AA meetings, if I drink again"
"And I'll go too, if I take drugs one more time"
"John… can we go home? I need to move myself"
"I guess so"
He helps her to get up and leads her to the street by the hand
"Who sees thinks I'm about to give birth, but I'm only in the second month"
"You noticed that your belly is growing?"
"Not at all! It's not!" – She joked
"Sure it is" – He said, kneeling down – "Hey, kids, you're beginning to grow. Don't push mommy too hard, ok?"
He gets up and takes her outside
"It's cold in here"
He puts his arms around her
"Is this better?"
"For me yes, but for the babies…"
He takes his coat out and puts on her
"Aren't you gonna be cold?"
"No, as long as you stay warm"
"John…"
"What?"
"You're gonna be the best dad in the world"
"Yes, I will" – He joked
"Ouch"
"Oh, c'mon!"
"Have you ever thought about the names?"
"Actually, yes"
"Which ones?"
"If they're two girls, Emily and Phoebe. If they're two boys, Matt and Alex. If they're a couple, Emma and Nick"
"I thought you were gonna name one of the boys John Truman Carter IV, you know, to keep the tradition"
"Yeah, but I think this tradition had enough"
"Really? I think it so cool. Not saying that John is a beautiful name"
"So, John it will be"
"Abby Lockhart Truman Carter… what you think?"
"I think you should forget the Lockhart… no memories of the past"
"Hum, right… Abby Truman Carter… I liked. I'll be important"
"You already are… to me"
She kisses him in the cheek, but he turns his face, and she kisses him in his mouth
"You don't miss a chance!" – She joked
"C'mon! I don't deserve a kiss of my fiancé?"
"No!" – She joked – "John, answer to me: if your family is loaded, why are you a doctor?"
"Because I want to be independent and help the people"
"But you can be much more. I mean, everybody in the ER has some need"
"I told you, I want to be independent. I don't be depending on Gamma's money forever"
"Hum… I see"
"Don't take this the wrong way… But now it's time to work harder to provide our little family that is coming"
"You know you're not alone. I'll work harder to provide our family too"
"I know" – He said as he kissed her forehead
And they arrive home
"I'm so tired! I need to sleep!"
Not even 5 minutes passed and she had already slept
This pregnancy is making her weak
3 months later, Abby is working again, and John is relieved to be able to observe his fiancé, now with 5 months of pregnancy, all the time.
"Abby…" – Frank called for her
"What?"
"Call for you"
"Take her to trauma two. Be right there. Hello?"
"Hi"
Oh, great!
"Is everything ok?"
"What you want, Richard?"
"Just to see you"
"I'm engaged now"
"Really? Who?"
"It's not of your business. What do you really want, huh?"
"You know me well. Your mother, she's gone"
"What?"
"She's gone"
"Do you have any idea where she is?"
"They told me she's in Texas. She went after Eric"
"Ok, thanks"
Do I deserve this family? I thought I was finally ok, but no!
"Abby, Abby! You coming?"
"What? Yeah"
"Pulse 110"
"Let's put a tube. 5 lidocaine. Faster, Abby!"
"Right"
"Abby, I said lidocaine, not dopamine… Abby?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll go get it" – She said, leaving the room
"X-ray and blood exam" – John said, taking his gloves off and leaving the room – "What happened?"
"Huh? Nothing, I'm just a little distractive"
"I see. But why?"
She stops suddenly and bit her lips. He stops in front of her and, looking in her eyes, he already knows the answer
"Maggie?"
She just nods
"What happened this time?"
"I thought everything was fine. She went after Eric… in Texas"
"What?"
"I tried to fool myself saying she was fine after what happened in Oklahoma… But she never will be ok"
"Don't worry. We'll get through this. You're not alone anymore"
"I just want us to be ok"
"We're gonna be ok. We're gonna be ok"
"Just for once in my life I wanted to live a normal life, without a terrified past and with a future next to my husband and my kids. But this is too much for me"
"It's not. You can have that"
"How?"
"You just have to let it go. I don't have a good relation with my mom either"
"John, I can't just ignore my mother. She raised me, she needs me"
"But… after all?"
"Yeah. If it were before, I'd say I couldn't do anything. But now that I have two lives growing inside me, my mother instinct came up. I wouldn't like my kids to leave me, and so wouldn't my mother. That's way I can't do this"
"And what you want to do?"
"Go after her. It's the least I can do"
"Then I'll go with you"
"But, John…"
"No but, Abby. I promised never to abandon you. And I'll do it"
"Ok, good"
"When you wanna leave, just let me know"
"I wanna fix this as soon as possible"
I thought I'd had a calm pregnancy, but that's not what happened so far
"Don't worry, honey. Everything's gonna be ok. You don't need to cry. That won't solve the things"
"I need to drink"
"No, you promised. We promised to each other not to drink or taking drugs"
"Fine. My shift is over. I'm going home to take a shower and then start packing. I'm going tonight to Texas"
"We're going, Abby. We'll handle this together"
"John… when are we getting married?"
"Oh… I don't know… I haven't thought about it yet"
"I think it's time. But let's solve this Eric thing, I don't want nothing to ruin my wedding"
An hour later…
"John… hurry up. We're gonna be late"
"One minute. I'm taking some emergency stuff"
"My mom isn't a killer"
"It's always good to prevent. And it's not for her, it's for you, in case something happens"
"I still have 4 months to last"
"I know" – He said as he went downstairs – "But it will be soon. And have you told you mother?"
"No, you?"
"I haven't too"
"Oh, right… I'm sorry"
"Let's get going"
In the car, he notices she's very quiet
"What's wrong, sweet?" – He said as he held her hand
"Nothing, just wondering…"
"What?"
"You know…" – She placed his hand on her belly
"Oh…"
"Wondering what they are gonna be. Twin girls, twin boys or a couple"
"Any idea?"
"Twin girls"
"Then I guess we won't have another John"
"You know what they are?"
"No… I just…"
"You know! How? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Abby, I swear I don't know"
"So, what you want?"
"A couple"
"Have you been thinking about something else?"
"Well, I imagine our house full of mess. Really happy. And you?"
"You know what? I want what you just said. I want a marriage. A happy marriage with my perfect husband"
"I love you so much"
And they kiss passionately. Half an hour later, they arrive in Texas
"That's it. It's now or never"
He hugs her by her waist, letting her know she'll never be alone