Chapter 21: Pain

Abby, John, Susan, Luka and Gallant arrive in Minnesota, where Maggie is with Emily and Phoebe.

"That's it. It's now" – John said, looking at Abby, worried.

"We're here for you"

"Thank you" – He turned to Abby – "Honey, let's go. We will find your mother"

She didn't react, which made John's heart jump.

"Let me talk to her" – Susan got closer to Abby – "It's ok. We're here with you. Everything's gonna be fine"

Abby slowly shook her head.

"Yeah, she's still shocked"

"Yes, we all know that! We all know that Maggie kidnapped our kids!" – He noticed what he said – "I'm sorry guys, Abby and I are going through a hard situation. I'm sorry for making you come with us"

"Carter, we wanted to. You wouldn't be able to deal with Maggie and take care of Abby by yourself"

"Yeah, I guess so. It's just... I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I'm more worried about Abby or with the twins"

"That's why we came. To help you"

"That's what friends are for. To be there when you need most"

"Thanks, I appreciate. Really"

He looked at Abby, who was sitting in the bed. He walked to her and took her hands.

"Abby... you're ready? We're going to take the girls back"

She slowly lifted her head and he smiled sadly.

"Yes, I'm ready"

He took her by her hands and put an arm around her waist, holding her closer.

"So, let's go"

"Want us to go with you?"

"No, stay. This is between Abby and me. We'll call you"

Susan, Luka and Gallant watch John and Abby walk away. John looked at Abby.

"I promise everything's going to be ok. For both of us. Everything will be ok. Soon we'll be leaving here"

"I know it will. I trust you. I'll do my best to be a good mother and wife"

He jumped.

"You ok?"

"I guess so" – She stops talking – "No. I'll only be ok when I see my daughters safe"

"I know, my love"

"And you, you ok?"

"Yes, I mean, no. It's just… I'm worried about you. About our babies… but more about you. I know it's being hard to see your mother doing this"

"Yeah, but I just want to have my daughters back and leave here as fast as possible"

"I know. We will. I wanna raise our kids in a safe place, away from problems. Our problems. And I mean family and other things"

She sensed he was angry.

"It's ok. John, I understand you. And I'm with you. I just want to get rid of the past I had before you. You don't need to be angry" – She looked at him – "We made a decision and we won't turn back. We decided this for their best. I love them. But not as much as I love you"

"I love you too" – He hugged her – "Now let's find you mother"

"I have no idea where she is"

"We'll search everywhere then. We have all the time"

"I'll call her in her cell. Wait for me"

She let go of him and he watched her walk away with a sad face. 15 minutes passed and she didn't come back. He began to get worried and went to look for her. He finds her sitting on the floor. A bottle of Demerol next to her. He froze when he saw that.

"Great, one more thing to worry about" – He looked away and to her again. Then he kneeled down in front of her – "Abby? Are you ok?"

She just shakes her head. He knew she wasn't.

"Did you talk to your mother?"

She lifted her head. Her eyes were red from crying. John felt a cold feeling running through his body. She opened her mouth to speak.

"She… I couldn't… find her. I'm sorry"

"It's ok"

"I panicked. I was afraid of hearing their cry when she get it"

"You should have called me. We could have done this together. You shouldn't have taken drugs"

She looked to the bottle next to her.

"Oh…"

"I'm worried about you. I know it's being hard for you. It's being hard for me too. But still, I don't want you to go back to that when something happens. You know you can trust me. I want you to trust me. Was I clear?"

"Yes"

"Good. Now let's go"

He took her hands and helped her to get up.

"I'm sorry. It's just… it seemed the best to do"

"I know honey. But let's try to not do this again"

"I really didn't mean to take drugs. I want to stay clean"

"I know. I'll call Susan and ask her to be with you"

"I wanna go"

"You're not ok"

"I still wanna go"

"No"

"You don't understand!"

"Yes, I do!"

"I wanna go. I need to go. They're my daughters too, you know?"

Tears fell from her eyes and he got concerned. Then he pulls her into a hug.

"It's ok. It's ok. I'm sorry" – He rubbed her back – "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry"

"I know. And I know you think that I'm not capable to deal with this, but I am. Or… at least… I wanna be"

"I can't let you go through this. I don't want you to be more hurt than you already are"

"Ok" – She pulled away from him – "I see what's going on here. You got sick of me"

"What?"

"I'm too problematic and got sick. But that's ok, I don't blame you"

"Hey, hey, hey, who said I got sick of you?"

"C'mon! It's obvious!"

"Well, not for me!"

"But that's ok. I'll take my kids and walk away from your life quickly"

"Abby… you're pissing me off. Don't do this"

"Too late. I just did"

"Seems like I don't know you anymore. I… can't take it anymore!"

"Fine! Break up with me! That's what you wanna do!"

"No, I want us to be able to understand each other. But obviously you don't"

"I…"

"You know, just one person can't do much. There are 2 people in a relationship, but it doesn't work out if only one work hard"

"Oh, so now I'm the one who didn't? I tried hard to make this work"

"Then I guess you didn't try right!"

"Is there a right way to do this?"

"Yes!"

"Then you have to show me because I really don't know!" – She looked at him – "I think we need some time to understand what's wrong with us"

"I guess so"

"So, I guess I won't go to England with you"

"What?"

"We're taking a break. It's not good for us to be together"

"Then let's not do this"

"Excuse me?"

"I won't live without you"

"You'll get used to it"

"No! I don't wanna get used to it. I wanna live with you"

"I know. I want it too. But… it's complicated"

He walked towards her and stayed a few centimeters away from her.

"Only if we want it to be"

He took her hands and she looked at him.

"I won't live without you and I won't think of leaving without you"

"John, don't make it harder that it already is"

"I love you. I love you"

"Please don't do this to me"

"And I know you love me too"

"I do. But I can't. We're not being able to get along"

"Well, then let's try"

"We already tried but didn't work"

"Abby…" – He held her shoulders firmly – "Listen, you're my wife. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't want to. I wouldn't have gone to France after you if I didn't know that you were the one I wanted as my wife"

She tried to get rid of him, but he held her very tightly.

"Please. Please. I can't deal with this right now. Don't do that to me"

"Great! I had enough! I won't do this anymore! I give up!"

"Ok"

"Because you locked yourself in your own world! And I don't know what to do to get through you. I don't know, Abby. You lock yourself in your own world when you mother shows up"

"I can't help it. I try but I can't"

"Of course you can! You need help and I want to help you. But you don't let me"

"I told you I don't need help. I don't need to be fixed or save"

"Ok"

"You only want to do this so I can be good enough to get pregnant with your child again!"

"What? Sure I don't!"

"Right."

"Cut it out! You're pissing me off!"

"Oh, then I piss you off? Don't come wanting to kiss me a few minutes later!"

"I won't do this, because I want the divorce"

"What?"

"I don't want to do this. But you don't leave me a choice. Seems like that's what you want"

"Maybe, I don't know… I guess I…"

"What?"

"I never thought about staying away from you"

"You don't need to"

"Yes, I do. I need to think"

"What's to think about?"

"Everything. Everything. Us. You and me. The life we're taking"

He approached her. Then he run his hand up and down over her arm and said calmly.

"I want you Abby. I need you. I love you and I wanna be with you. You mean everything to me, you know that"

"John…"

Tears fell from their eyes and he gently lifts her face, causing her to looks deeply in his eyes. Then he runs his fingertips over her cheeks to wipe the tears away.

"Let's give us another chance. For the babies. For us"

"I… don't know"

"I can not live without you, Abby. I told you millions of times. I love you. I'm begging you. I love you"

He lets his face gets closer to hers until his lips touch hers. She tries to get away, but he wraps his arms around her tightly. She then has no choice but kiss him back.

"I want to make part of your life"

"We're from two different worlds"

"Yes, but we're living just one life. We have to look beyond our differences if we want to be together and this to work. And I really want to"

"Me too"

"We have a whole life waiting for us. We just started a journey. The most important, I'd say. And I can't believe you're gonna give up so quickly and easily"

"I didn't mean to do this. It's just… there's so much going on and I didn't want to hurt you"

"You know you hurt me for not wanting to be with me"

"You know I couldn't"

He wraps his arms around her and kisses her hair.

"We're gonna find your mother. I promise"

"We don't have to. We just did"

John lets her go and turns to face Maggie. They see the babies in her arms.