Author's Note: So I was browsing the back of my LotR book the other day, and I found out this interesting tidbit from Tolkien. Apparently, Dwarves are assigned a name at birth which is unknown to other races. So, for example, Thorin's name is not actually 'Thorin.' Thorin is the name that he uses in the common tongue. His true name is only known to himself and other Dwarves. And I find that super interesting, because I'm so curious about what it could be. I'll be up at 3 AM tomorrow morning trying to think of Dwarven names for him, ha ha.

And before anybody asks, yes, I do know Nadi's true name. No, I'm not telling. ;P

X

The journey had taken an unexpected, and unfortunate twist that eventually led them to Rivendell, the home of Lord Elrond. After an unlucky encounter with a trio of hungry Trolls and a subsequent meeting with a little Wizard by the name of Radagast the Brown, the Company had been hunted down by a pack of Orcs. They barely made it by the skin of their teeth, and indeed would have been made Orc food had not Dwalin pointed out a secret passage hidden beneath a jagged outcrop of boulders. Delighted, and yet made weary by their ordeal, the Dwarves had followed the twisting passage until it had spit them out upon a valley illuminated by the sunlight bouncing off of a hundred glowing fountains.

"The Valley of Imladris," Gandalf had said, with a small smile of relief playing around his lips. "In the common tongue, it's known by another name."

"Rivendell," Bilbo had said, his eyes never leaving the beautiful valley.

"Here lies the last homely house east of the sea."

But Thorin was no fool. He suspected that Gandalf had planned their route to Rivendell in secret, and he was quick to voice his disdain of his greatest enemy: the Elves. Yet it was in their best interest to seek lodging and aid in deciphering their map. And so, quite grudgingly, the Company of Dwarves allowed themselves to be ushered into Imladris, where after a brief moment of tension, they were welcomed with food and music. The Elven women were quick to descend upon Nadi after dinner. With soft words and surprisingly strong hands, they whisked her away from the Company and half-carried, half-dragged her down the hall.

"What are they doing to the girl?!" Gloin had cried out in dismay. The Dwarves stood up in haste. Bifur pounded his chest and spoke what sounded to Bilbo to be fragmented curses.

"You bring her back!" Ori had called after the retreating Elves, and the others echoed his statement.

"It's alright, it's quite alright," Elrond said placatingly, rising to a graceful stand. "They simply want to bathe and dress her in more appropriate attire. They do not see it fitting for a woman to appear so...worn down.."

The Dwarves grumbled amongst themselves (if she was considered worn down, then what did that make them?) But Gandalf eased their worries with a few light-hearted words and eventually, they came to relax. Still, their ears were strained for any sound that might signal Nadi's distress.

The evening passed uneventfully. Much to the silent surprise of the Elves, the Dwarves were quick to chop down the precious furniture offered to them and build a sort of Dwarven den outside of their chambers. They set fire to the surplus wood and roasted their sausages over it, all while questioning and making jests at the Elves. When Bilbo returned from the meeting between Gandalf, Elrond, and Thorin, he was quite embarrassed to find the short work that the Dwarves had made of the accommodations offered to them.

Patting his hands against his legs uncomfortably, he walked quietly into the makeshift chamber. It was well into the night, and yet all of the Dwarves - except for Bombur, who was snoring happily in the corner - were wide awake and muttering peacefully amongst themselves. He made toward a relatively empty spot in the room to set up his bed things (the Elves had offered him his own room, but he didn't feel right sleeping apart from the Company) when Kili called out to him.

Bilbo looked up and found the young black-haired Dwarf sitting in front of his brother in a large alcove. The two truly were inseparable, he thought to himself and indeed, as they looked up at him, the look in their eyes seemed to be almost identical. Kili had been whittling away at something, which he let hang limply from his hands as he stared at the Hobbit with an uncharacteristically unfriendly look.

"What is it about you that she finds so...alluring?"

"She?

"Yes. She."

Bilbo was confused for a moment and wondered if, perhaps, Kili was jealous of the fact that he had caught the eye of some Elven maid. Then he remembered. "Do you mean Nadi?"

Kili looked at his brother, who raised his eyebrows and snickered. "Or perhaps you've mistaken one of the others for a woman?"

"I know who you all are, thank you very much," Bilbo snapped back. Over the past few days with the Dwarves, he had grown bolder with his speech, a fact which amused them greatly. "And maybe it's the way that I talk to her. Or don't talk to her, as she pleases."

Kili's brows furrowed and he repeated Bilbo's words to himself in a low mutter. Bilbo, for his part, was thinking of the time that he and Nadi had spent together during the past few days. Ever since asking him to shave her beard, she had drawn herself to him like a moth to lamplight. It was never much: she showed him the matchbox that she kept braided in her hair at all times, pointed out the fish eggs beneath the logs in the stream, whispered her praise of Thorin at night when neither of them was sleepy. Though he could not yet say it out loud, he thought of them as sort-of-kind-of-maybe friends. He wasn't sure how to explain this, so he said, "Sometimes...you can say all that there is to say without saying much at all."

"You can say all there is...? Are you making fun of me, Grocer?" Kili stood up and advanced upon him. "Is he making fun of me, Fili?"

"Aye, I think he is!"

"No!" Bilbo said, backing up against a wall with his hands pressed behind his back. "No, not at all!"

"Do you take my words lightly?"

"I just...hear me out," Bilbo said when Kili was mere inches in front of him. "Listen. Sometimes there's nothing that needs to be said. When two people share something special - as you and she obviously have - it's your actions that speak. Little things like...sharing breakfast or sitting together and smoking from the same pipe or -"

"Fondling," Fili added matter-of-factly. Bilbo glanced at him in exasperation and he winked back.

"Yes, er, fondling."

"Naughty fondling."

"Yes, right, well. Words can be heavy and cumbersome and confusing at times. That's what I mean when I say that silence...is often more welcome than you think."

Kili said nothing. He glared at the Hobbit for a moment in silence, still not sure if he was being made fun of or not. He turned around and flipped his hair over his shoulder. "Perhaps you are right," he said in a low voice and began to walk out of the chamber.

"Where are you going?" Fili called after him.

"To practice my silence!." Kili gave a curt wave over his shoulder and disappeared into the dark.

X

"Excuse me, ladies. I am looking for a Dwarve: a bit short by your standards, and rugged about the face. She has eyes like moonlight shining behind a jar full of honey and a voice like melting butter. Have you seen her?"

The three Elven maidens glanced at each other with warm smiles, enchanted by the handsome young Dwarve's description of his companion.

"Yes, we have," they said in unison, "but if we tell, what will we receive in return?"

"I heard there's a strong, young Dwarve wandering these parts, searching for maidens such as yourself to entertain with his...overly large sword tricks." The Elves giggled. "Tell me where I may find my companion and I will consider sending him your way."

The youngest Elf glanced down the lantern-lit hall to a pair of wooden doors with steam wafting from beneath but said nothing.

"She's bathing," said the eldest of the trio but already Kili was moving down towards the doors. "Sir, it is not proper to call upon a lady at such a time!"

Kili paused with his hands propped up on the door and smiled back at the maidens. "Proper," he said curiously, pushing the door open. "we're Dwarves. We know of no such word."

The maidens giggled and wandered away in a glowing gaggle. They called out instructions to a cozy chamber beyond the winding staircase leading from his room, if he could pass the word along to his 'friend.' But he paid them no mind. The steam in the air was thick and whitish when he opened the door and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. The smell of incense hung heavily about him, stinging his throat and making him wince.

"Nadi?" He called out. He spotted the thick paneling of a glass window and he shoved it open with impatient hands. Immediately, the steam in the room was sucked out and dispersed in the air beyond the bathing room. There, in the center of the room, was a large white tub filled to the brim with clear water run through with translucent ribbons of pale blue, soft white, and petal pink. Colors seemed to waft from its waters, or perhaps it was just a trick of the light.

"Nadi," he said again and finally spotted the young Dwarve. She stood before an ornate silver-wrought mirror. Her traveling attire had been cast aside and she now wore a cream-colored suit. The breast of the coat was embroidered with golden silk that twirled its way along the stiff collar that rose to her chin. A thick brown belt cinched the coat to her waist, leaving the bottom of its cape to bloom out around her large gold-bordered pants. Her ankles were swathed in a thin red cloth like stockings but sturdier.

"Nadi," he said, his voice catching with laughter, "what have they done to you, you poor girl?"

" 'tis called bathing," she said roughly, her teeth set along a red ribbon. She was quickly undoing the braids that the maidens had looped tightly around her head. "Perhaps you have heard of it?"

"Nay, I do not think I have. Perhaps I should…?" Kili gestured to the bath and made a move like he was undoing his belt. Nadi hissed and turned to face him. Before he knew what had happened, she had flung a hairbrush his way. He ducked, and the handle of the brush made a dent in a wooden door. He stood up and glanced between the door and the other Dwarve.

"First words that you have spoken to me in days and you insult me and then decline my offer to undress. The former is quite of your character, but the latter...tsk, tsk, tsk." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Now that I know that you are still partly yourself…" Kili moved around the steaming tub and stepped towards her but she flinched and he was quick to step back. "What is it?"

Those words. Those three cursed words. She had heard them spoken in the same voice in all of her dreams, the ones in which she caused him terrible harm. What would it be this time, she wondered, her heart beating at a fast pace. Her eyes flickered to the bathtub. Would she grab him by his braids and hold his head under? Would she fetch the brush and bash his teeth in? Or would she smash the window and slice him to pieces with a jagged shard? She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the next fateful words to tumble from her lips - I was thinking...I couldn't bear to be without you - but they never came. She opened her eyes and glanced curiously at Kili, who was watching her carefully.

"You look as though you've seen the dead rise. Has the journey really been that hard on my beautiful face?" He touched his chin warily and she shook her head.

"No, it's just I...I do not...is...this a dream?"

"No. Would you rather it be?" he asked.

"No, I…" she paused and pointed at the brush laying by his feet. "Throw that to me, will you?"

"Are you sure?" he asked, picking the brush up.

"Yes. But throw it to me, Kili, not at me."

"If only I had been shown such kindness when you threw it at me!" He wound his arm back and tossed it to her, gently. She caught it with both hands and weighed it carefully. It was solid and cool in her grip. Though her dreams were often extraordinarily realistic, she could never feel the temperature of the weapons in her hands when she wielded them against Kili. She sighed in relief and fell back against the mirror.

He did something odd then. He called her by her true name. It was the actual name that she had been given by her father at birth. The sound of it was reminiscent of the rocks that thundered from the mountains of Erebor and came to rest in the deep crystal pools below. It was deep, throaty, and nostalgic. She hadn't heard it in centuries. The Dwarves guarded their true names fiercely. No other race knew of their existence. The sound of it flooded her heart with warmth.

He stepped towards her carefully, watching her. Her eyes remained closed as he reached out and brushed a damp lock of hair away from her forehead.

"I do not know what I have done to offend you-"

"You have done nothing-"

"But I hope that, whatever it is, you will forgive me. And understand I have wished for your pardon every day that you returned from the forest."

She winced and turned her head to the side. She didn't want to see him, didn't want to see the look of pure hopelessness that she knew had lit itself within his dark eyes. She loved him with a passion that was intense and unparalleled, and the awkwardness of their distance had wrought in her a pain that she hadn't felt since her uncle's death and the taking of Erebor. Deep within, she feared that, even if Iree's curse were to lift, she would lose him. For surely, no matter what he said, he would not wait on her forever. It was not in his - or his brother's - nature to cling to that which did not appeal to him. And, as she was often reminded by her own stuttered voice in her dreams, the thought of becoming nothing, of no longer having meaning to him was unbearable.

She opened her eyes and clenched her teeth. Her eyes immediately moved towards the ceiling and away from him, as if she could find the answer hidden there. Yet, she ruminated as he watched her, it was for his own good that she deserted him. If the dreams were a foreboding, or portent, of what was to come, then it was best if she let herself lose him. She'd rather that than see him die, especially by her own traitorous hands. It was the sole reason why she had tried to decline her inclusion in the Company, for she knew that when Thorin called upon the rest to join Kili would be sure to come.

So why didn't she tell him? The mere thought of speaking her truth made her throat swell with an otherworldly force as if Iree were reaching her hand through time and rendering her mute. She could tell no one. Not that it mattered though. Like a planted seed, the fright had bloomed in her mind, occupying every recess with its malevolent force. She could travel a thousand miles away from him and still, she would slaughter him in her dreams, for every night of her life.

"I know what you are thinking," he said and she looked down at him in surprise. "And you would be right. I will not hold on to you forever, my starlight. If you do not -"

"Wait!"

"Nay, listen! If you no longer enjoy my presence, I understand. I will leave you be. But, on the chance that you do - and I pray that you do - tell me! And I will remain by your side for as long as you like. Even if you let Sthrusas devour me whole," he laughed. "So, Nadi, what'll it be then? Will you grow back your beard and give this ol' travel-weary Dwarve everything that he has ever wanted?"

Yes, she cried in her head as he pressed his forehead against hers, Mahal, yes. Because she knew that he was asking so much more than he was saying. But she couldn't. Tears sprung to her eyes and her lip trembled. Not so long as her visions persisted would she allow her presence to endanger him. For his sake, she realized, she would always have to push him away.

"Leave," she said weakly, salty tears running over her lips. He looked up and into her eyes with surprise.

"What?"

"I said, 'leave me be!' Now and forever!"

"Nadi, by my beard, what have I done to anger you?!"

"'Tis not what you have done. It is I," she said and pushed him away. "Leave! Now, Kili! And do not come to me with your squealings for the rest of the journey!"

He stumbled back and fell into the tub. She watched in agony as he thrashed about, wishing that she could reach in and pull him out, but he regained himself in seconds and lifted his sodden body from the water.

"Alright," he said, backing away from her as if she were some strange new rabid beast, "If that is what you want. Nadi."

Without another word, he turned on his heel and exited the chamber. Nadi was quick to wrap the fallen ribbon around her cheeks. She fell to her knees, collapsed at the waist, and howled against the red cloth.