A bit of a shorter chapter that is very monologue heavy. But I assure you that plot would return the next chapter and this opening arc would come to a close in a few more.

Walking outside your home in the middle of the night with only a pretty classmate as company would be most teenage boys' dream and as much as I deny it, mine as well.

It didn't help that she was clinging to my right arm for support while my left arm carried both mine and her bags. I could feel the softness of her skin and certain other feminine features that I would have never that I'd actually acknowledge.

I can still appreciate the beauty of the female body but I wouldn't show any outward attraction to it. I've trained for years ever since I was 12 years old in order to be immuned to the charms of a female.

Apparently, I didn't train hard enough.

My eyes just seem to wander on their own and they always focus on Akane's figure. Even while a bit sweaty and dishevelled I can confidently say that most people would still call her beautiful.

Beautiful. A word that I never actually use to express my own opinion on someone's beauty, adding on other adjectives like cute, handsome, sexy and the like. Whenever I describe someone's appearance in my head, I'd always use the general public opinion on said person. Do the people think she's pretty or do they not? Is that clothing fashionable or not? I never give my own opinions on these questions, I just use somebody else's.

That's how I described Akane Nishino's appearance in my head, I used what my schoolmates thought of her thus I don't actually appreciate her beauty.

But right now, at this very moment, I thought of the black-haired girl beside me as a cute and beautiful girl.

A part of me absolutely loathed that idea. My dream was to become an eminence in shadow and I was fully prepared to sacrifice everything just to reach that goal.

I would have no real relationships with anybody. No one I can really talk, nobody to really relate to. I'd be walking the road of life alone, without any friends, without any loved ones, without anybody to really understand me just to achieve my dream.

But what comes after once I finally do it? Will ever be fully satisfied with this kind of life? No attachments, no joys, no meaning other than being the mastermind in the shadows.

For the first time in my entire life, I started to doubt my ideals. And I would never know how much of an impact that single thought would have.

After a few more minutes of walking, we finally reached my house. I slowly entered my own home and double checked that my parents were home. I didn't want them to annoy me about the situation I was currently in.

I discreetly checked every room in my house for any sign of life. There weren't any. Good.

Once I confirmed that, I beckoned Akane inside and led her upstairs to my room.

"Wow, it's both better and worse than I imagined." Akane commented once I sat her down at the foot of my bed.

My room was decorated with the most random assortment of items one would find at the same time in a teenage boy's bedroom. There was some exercise equipment in the corner over there. A computer sat atop a desk at the right side of the room with both thick and thin books layering the top of said desk.

Several random magazines and notebooks were scattered over the another desk and the floor. A bookshelf could also be seen opposite of my computer desktop filled with all sorts of topics and researches.

"What were you expecting then?"

"I don't really know, but it certainly wasn't this." She gestured to the space of my room.

"Well this is how I am whether you like it or not."

"I never said that I didn't like it."

"So you do like it?"

"No, but I don't hate it either. It just fits you so well. It is your room after all." Akane gives me a gentle smile after she was done speaking, I couldn't help but feel a bit embarassed by it. I pushed that feeling deep down hoping it didn't show on my face.

Though judging from her giggles it did.

As I was about to offer her a drink, Akane grabbed a random notebook from the nightstand beside my bed. Having recognized it, I immediately put a stop to whatever she was going to do.

"Wait stop-!" But I was too late.

"Pfft-! Haha!" She heartily laughed while I for the first time in a while felt genuinely embarassed.

"What is all this? Pfft. Stand dramatically while leaning on railing. Wait there's more, Look at the moon and mutter a cool one liner. This is too good. Pfft, Hahahaha!"

"Please just close the notebook and forget this all happened...?" I stopped talking once I realised that Akane's wasn't laughing anymore. She didn't have even an amused expression on. It was by a far more serious face.

Curious, I stood closer to her in order to get a better look and once I was actually able to read it, I visibly scrunched my face.

Numerous variations of messages like:

No one understands me.

I'm so alone.

And finally,

I just wanted to feel special.

These were all things that I wrote back in the early days of my training. The naive kid that I was back then had told everyone I knew of my new dream.

Can you guess their response?

They laughed. They scorned me saying that my dreams were childish and impossible. A factor that probably made it worse was how I said it.

I mentioned that I wanted to be stronger and smarter than anyone and they were actually pretty supportive. Then I said that the reason why I was doing it was to become a mastermind in the shadow. After that everyone turned against, even my own family, because of such a childish dream.

I may be a bit dramatic in the retelling since my family didn't really isolate and scorn me, they just discouraged me from going through with it. That was just how kid me perceived their actions and it really messed me up.

School? School was even worse. It was there that I got ostracised and bullied by a lot of my seniors. The teachers didn't even try to help.

I was seen as an easy target by tthe bullies and would frequently get picked on and shunned by everyone I knew. I did try to fight back against them but the teachers would always be on their side.

Granted, I may be exaggerating a bit here, especially the part about being bullied by everyone, but this was how I perceived their treatment of me back then. It wasn't until years later that I realized that it wasn't really all that bad but by that time the damage had already been done.

Anyway, back to my backstory.

I kept feeling alone, no one by my side, no one who understood. In those early days I would occasionally ask myself 'What am I even doing this for?' Then I'd remember that I was always a face in the crowd, never standing out, never one that people look for.

And I was contented with that life, I didn't see a problem with living like that. A normal life for a normal kid, there wasn't anything wrong about that.

But then something changed. That life suddenly felt bland and boring. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to actually really care about. I don't know how it happened, and I don't really know if I should feel happy or not of such a thing occurring but there was nothing I could do about it now.

I wanted to feel something, I wanted to feel at the least bit special, that I wasn't just some random person you wouldn't pay attention to. I wanted that, even if only in secret that was what I wanted. At first I wanted to be a hero of justice, the kind that always saves the day at just the right time and would steal the spotlight. But after a while, I rejected that idea, it was too noble for my tastes.

And that's when it happened, that's when I realised what I really wanted to be. The desire to become one of those who sat in the background hiding until the moment came where he could show his power.

Didn't that sound really cool?!

It did sound as such for me. Ever since then that's all I ever wanted in life. And maybe in another life, that will be all I ever wanted. But now, right at this very moment, I wanted something more...

With my thoughts coming to a halt, my perception returned to reality, back to the situation that spurred those thoughts and realizations in me.

My classmate was still holding onto my old journal in shock, not moving a muscle. The fact that his has already happened twice this day didn't escape me, but I had more pressing concerns.

My earlier epiphany would manifest at this very moment, changing the course of my life in a way that I never would have known. I could forcibly take the notebook from her and plead that she forget what she saw. Hell, I could have stopped all of this from ever happening if I just did things differently earlier today.

Huh, maybe that had been the life changing event that happened. But no matter, I already made the decision, there was little I could do about the consequences.

And so I sat beside her on my bed, grabbing her shoulder to catch her attention. She faced me, with varying looks of concern, worry and curiousity. What she was feeling now was irrelevant, I only wanted to know how she would feel afterwards.

And so I let six words escape my lips.

"Let me tell you a story."

And my destiny was set. No one knew what I would now face in the future.