Hermione Granger had never heard such a STUPID thing in her life! And knowing both Ron and Harry, that was saying something! Snape had ... implied, said, whatever, that she was betrothed! Of all the STUPID, Archaic things! And he had said it like it was obvious, like anyone might know of it. Had everyone been laughing behind her back? Oh, gods! Had Ron known?

And then, in some dark corner of her mind, a different thought unfolded. What if Severus Snape was wrong? he was a Slytherin, he might have lied! Or been mistaken, or - and here she stopped herself. He was clearly not the person to talk to about this. Her parents cared about her, after all. Or at least, she thought they did. There were only so many juvenile book readings you could go to, after all, without getting bored out of your skull. And her father had taken her to every single one.

No, it was not time to think of Snape, merely how to get out of this stupid mausoleum (Grimmald Place was grim indeed!), and give her parents a telephone call. Or visit in person. This was not the sort of thing she'd trust to an owl. Besides, she wanted to see her parents reactions.

With a sigh, she laid down on the couch to rest, knowing that in the morning, she'd be finding a way to have a conversation.

As she stepped down the stairs, traipsing out into the kitchen, Hermione Granger was not at all surprised to find Severus Snape absent. Like a cat, he had the trick of showing up at the most inconvenient times, and disdained normalcy at all costs. She rather thought he took his coffee early, when he was here, and ate in his room - or the study. Tonks, on the other hand, was sitting at the table, bright and cheerful as the noonday sun. "Hermione! Glad you're up! Wotcher?"

Hermione fought not to wince, managing it just barely. Tonks' cheerfulness was infectious, most days, but today Hermione felt awful, and immune to the infection too. "I need to call my parents... it's rather urgent. I need to talk to them about something..." Hermione fought to not fidget, and lost the fight, her hands twisting her skirt behind her back. Hopefully Tonks wouldn't notice. Hermione should have known better, as she looked at Tonks' knowing grin.

"What's this about, Hermione?" Tonks asked, her manner so blunt and open that it didn't seem to matter that she was essentially asking for schoolyard gossip. What Parvati or Lavender would have given galleons to hear, at that!

"Family business, I'm afraid." Hermione said quietly, her mouth wanting to grind out the words. I bloody hope not! Because Hermione Granger would do anything, give anything for Snape to be wrong. She hated lying, hated lies, and to have been ... dating... while... otherwise engaged. It seemed like a betrayal. And Hermione just wasn't that sort of girl! She wondered, for a brief instant, if ... her intended knew about the situation. How could he not? Snape certainly thought I knew. Even mentally, Hermione corrected herself, Professor Snape.

"Sounds serious. Well, you'll need an escort, and I think I know just the person!" Tonks babbled out.

"Who's that?"

"Me, of course!" Tonks grinned in reply. Lovely, just the cheerbox that I wanted to spend an entire day with. She's going to drive me barmy, I just know it.

Hermione was in no better mood (though luckily not a much worse mood) by the time she got to the telephone. It was a grimy thing, stationed outside a bar, "The Motley Fool", complete with a longnosed fool dressed in fools' gaiety.

"Hello, mum?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Yesterday, I heard the strangest thing!"

"Oh, really? That's funny... tell me what happened!"

"Oh, well, you know Ron - we had been having one of those awful fights, again... You know, he honestly thinks I called him stupid?"

"That doesn't sound strange, dear, that sounds perfectly normal between you two. You know he loves you, right?"

"Well, I thought he did..."Hermione said a touch wistfully, before pulling herself out of it, " Of course, that wasn't the strange part! The strange part was that Professor Snape said - well, implied really, typical of him - that I was engaged!"

Her mother deliberately put on an air of unconcern, saying to her daughter, "Oh! How very odd. Just the other day, your father and I were informed of a bit of a mixup... I think he might be telling the truth."

"Really?" Hermione Granger asked, a thousand awful questions popping into her mind.

[a/n: I do hope I managed to swing Tonks in and out of the story well. She's normally not so bad, but Granger didn't really believe that Snape was lying...]