Thank you so much for those who reviewed and those who will review and please read my notes at the bottom it's important.
Warnings and Disclaimers: Shudders. This is an MPREG and of course slash. And many more warnings to come. This is not mine and will never be. AH possible CH
And oh, for those who guessed that this goes at the time when Alexander wanted to get married to Roxanne you're right and here goes a Cookie and several anime plushies!
A/N: Okay so I typed half of this 7 days ago, I can't go on because I don't know what to do, I have so many ideas swarming in my head. Bleck! Plus I wonder greatly if you guys even read the warnings and disclaimers. shudders I even shudder when I think about this fic, it's absurd, I know. But it's a fic, so it can be absurd and my mission is to make it somewhat within reason.
I find writing when your half asleep, ¼ dazed and only ¼ awake effective, believe me, it feels like something takes over, I don't even need to think. I'll be in big trouble tomorrow though, I haven't been attending out intrams and boy, they would dare blame me, I trip while walking how much more if you make me play. I'm not sporty at all, plus I'm fat. Tell you a secret, I was planning to go to school earlier when I woke up, and I ended up playing Breath of fire 4, damn I love Fou Lu, in my pc and I played since 8:00am to 10:30pm and boy am I dizzy, now after no breaks, shower nor any food I found myself typing the 2nd half of this chapter and I have no clue what will happen, I have a plot I just don't deepen the chapters in my mind it's better done simultaneous for me.
So before I bore you people to death with my endless ranting, who can blame me I love to talk when I know someone will listen, same goes for this ranting when I know at least 1 person would read it, Here is the next chapie:
This means another universe
This means flashback dreams (you know when you are remembering dreams)
In war many lives were lost but
there is no time to grieve
BoF4
Lights were blazing, but the world was darker than ever and the darkness seems endless. He was trapped in his own light. But he can see and it seemed like hours that he was standing there. He wanted to count every passing moment but every times he starts he stops, forgetting that he already began.
'Psst!'
Came a child like call from afar.
"Who are you? Where are you?"
He asked, knowing that the person probably wouldn't bother to answer.
'So, my call did worked as a charm, Hello there Alexander! We are at my part.' The voice answered in a silly manner.
'Yes, actually mine and my bother's part, but you've heard correctly. This is where I live, a pretty dull place eh?'
Then a child came to his view and giggled. The child waved and laughed then disappeared again.
'But you see that azure light there, I'm sure you know who it is.'
Alexander was about to say something when the child again appeared on his face. This time wearing strange clothes and different hair but he was certain that it has been the same child earlier.
'Do not worry I didn't do anything bad to him, as I have told you you're in my part. You see I want to tell you. NO!'
The child then walked around him, while he followed his gaze, it puzzled him that every time the child took another step the clothings changed and none of it he has ever seen.
'Yup you heard me, No. No. NO. NO. I don't hate Alexander, everything is for amusement. Yet don't try me.' the child gazed at him with a hatred that he never knew and after a moment the child was back into a giggling fit again, then came a sincere smile.
'Sleep Alexander, I tell you, all your achievements will be remembered by youths thousands of years from now. Yet in your heart you're life is still a tragedy, you will never escaped fate when you played with it. Now sleep Alexander. And don't forget to take good care of him.'
Hall after hall, torches after torches, it makes him sick. Never did he feel this kind of nostalgia. Right now all that Hephaistion wanted, needed is to go home, somewhere, anywhere familiar. Not that he did not like it here; he just feels a certain nostalgia, that he feels will never leave his heart.
Alexander is getting married.
Yes, he is going to lose something that was never his.
Where is his place, really? In this great empire, Hephaistion is the only one that seems misplaced at most times. For he stands where he is not supposed to be. But it is that place that he needs to be, and was needed to be, yet people hated him, people judged him.
And yet, everything seems worth it, when he knows that he does it for Alexander and Alexander alone.
So, where does he stand now? It seems so selfish of him. But Hephaistion is only human, capable of feeling and capable of hurting.
Finding refuge in a large rock pretty faraway from the city. He sat and waits, for he knows that every time the pain will eventually numb and it will be alright again, but it will never truly be.
He waited there, for the pain to subside yet it seems that it was as stubborn as he is. He did not noticed that it was already after dawn. For about the hundredth time that night he closed his eyes and savored morning.
He loved sunrise as it comes, it's a symbol of something that he always tries to hold onto.
For about another half an hour he sat there until he heard a rustling from far away. Noting and knowing that it is just someone from the campaign he paid little heed. After the person was in viewing range it stopped so he turned to look who it is.
And the person that he saw was the least person that thought that it would be, thought or probably hoped that it would be.
Cassander was there, like always looking at him with critical eyes, slight amusement evident on his face. Looking at his eyes and at the same time gesturing to him that he can come near, though he knew that Cassander would have anyway.
"Apparently, you're on my spot." Cassander said gazing at the same direction where Hephaistion was staring at; nowhere.
"I did not see a "Cassander owns this on the rock", so forgive me for my treason but I will not move unless I feel like to." Hephaistion answered eyes still fixed to something that nobody else can see but him.
"You mock me now Hephaistion. Tell me what happened then?" Cassander said, looking at Hephaistion and for once in a long time the critical eyes were gone.
"I'd rather not." Hephaistion averted his eyes as he answered, hoping that Cassander would not know even a fraction of what he's feeling.
"You fear me so Hephaistion." Roles finally aligned, Cassander mocked.
"Yes." Hephaistion whispered, so low that Cassander was not sure if he even heard it, as he stood and started the direction where Cassander came from.
"When you come here and you see a "Cassander owns this" you better stay away." He said to the retreating blue-eyed general, earning a slight chuckle.
Brows knitted, and mind exploding in confusion. Alexander needed to talk to Hephaistion right now. He had left before he woke up. He still had something to tell him and it annoyed him to no end.
He had a strange dream, a nightmare, it bothered him to no end yet he can't speak of it to no one but Hephaistion.
Last night he and Hephaistion…
He paced around his room, not knowing what to do or what to think. His mind was blank, empty, like a void that hunts down his heart. It seems like Alexander had already walked a fine line at the carpet when he heard a reluctant knock on his door, and he, thinking that it's Hephaistion, opened the door with haste but has in turn disappointed to see one of his servant with a tray of food. He then spotted one of his pages and ordered him to inform all he generals that there will be an important meeting at noon.
Settling the food at the table and taking his rest on the bed he closed his eyes and the memory of his dream went flashing before his eyes.
Blue eyes, the same blue eyes that he loves so much, the same blue eyes that loved so much. It is all that he see. All that he can feel.
And to his horror as he stared at this blue eyes, his feeling of hatred grew, a hatred that will never be deserved by the likes of him.
Hephaistion, his Hephaistion. Oh he can see him right now, eyes same as ever, forgiving and loving, yet blurred and hidden in tears. Hephaistion, his face and body alike was bruised and blood trickled from the corner of his lips, while blood sips at his robe from his stomach.
He drew Hephaistion closer in an embrace and blood was stained on him and will probably never be washed of.
After that he stared at his serene face and in a flashed he realized that he drove his sword at his beloved's chest. Horror in his eyes he look at the other's face and saw that he still held that forgiving eyes and he was giving him the most genuine smile.
Alexander woke up with a cold sweat after that dream. Just remembering it makes him shudder, his decision and what Hephaistion could be feeling right now. Last night was not much achievement. He had not meant to hurt him like that. But right now, it seems that every time that he tries to do something Hephaistion is that high price.
It frustrates Alexander to no end to know that before, if he had to make a choice, any choice, without a doubt he would pick Hephaistion. But now… right now is not even close. He would rather have a son. But Hephaistion, he without a doubt, would pick him before any other.
Was he meant to hurt Hephaistion so?
He needed to talk to Hephaistion again before the meeting with the other Companions, but the stubborn fool was still nowhere to be found. It is apparent that Hephaistion would not be found if he does not want to be found.
Rising to his feet, he called Bagoas for a bath. He needed to think, while he still can. And he hopes that there would be enough time before noon.
Sitting at 'his' rock, he wondered greatly.
He had been going here every morning ever since he found this place a few weeks ago and he had not expect to see anybody, much less a Hephaistion that's in a verge of tears.
What will Alexander do this time? Cassander asked himself, he had known the pattern since it began to turn. He had been there watching and observing it that he knows how it read it. Every time that Alexander does something, Hephaistion shuts his mouth and agrees and he tries to deal with the aftermath of his king's doings instead.
Maybe that sets him apart from all other. He knows what he is doing and knows what to do in a disaster. But every time that Alexander destroys something, Hephaistion's soul slowly crumbles along with it. Every time that their king does something stupid it is Hephaistion that's hurt the most. And yet he is always there to pick the pieces.
It has always been the best for Alexander, king of all, yet it's been a shame that Alexander never learned how to take care of what's his and it always ends up breaking without him knowing.
Hephaistion was never meant for war, Cassander always thought that way. He was never supposed to be here, conquering the world.
He was weak in his own ways, but he is a good foundation all the same.
Trying not to feel like lovesick boy that he was, he chuckled a humorless chuckle. All he had to do is to pretend that he hates him, oh he does he hates him. He honestly do hate Hephaistion, but not as he supposed to.
All he had to do is to lie. Yes lie. Cassander is good at lying, it is a talent given to him. He is so good that he even believes himself at times. He just needed to pretend, he is so used to pretending that he does not know when he to stop anymore.
"I hate him." Cassander said out loud, as if having a hard time convincing himself.
A/N: Ok, sorry about Cassander, but I wanted Hephaistion to have a rock to lean on at least. Why Cassander? Because he hates Phai, that's why. Cassander is an interesting fellow, plus Jonathan Rhys Meyers is hot but that's not it. Again why Cassander because it's either Ptolemy, Cleitus or Cassander. I don't think that Cleitus was not a good picture when he thinks, and if Ptolemy, it would be totally weird. Cassander seems the perfect choice, you know. It's because they've been friends ever since. He is sly, and a person that you would think that is living a lie. Another tortured soul just like Hephaistion. But again we will never know him.
and oh Alexander does not remember his little meeting with fate. it is mearly a glitch in fates universe. but alexander felt it, that's why he had nightmares and is very confused.
And I wanted to apologize I meant to post this 5 days ago but there was a big typhoon here at the Philippines and we had a blackout for 4 days we just had electricity a while ago and I run to the Internet Café to post this. To tell the truth I've just showered after a shower-less 2 days because our water supply was also out, it's not convenient to live here at Philippines you know. And I showered at the rain and now I'm sick.
I also apologize that this fic is too animeyee, this is my Alexander fic. I'm still adjusting.
I know you already hate me for such long A/N but the next one is important so please read it.
IMPORTANT
So I had this 2 idea of how to go on, but I don't know what to use. So you guys need to vote. Is it;
a.)Alexander will be kept in the dark about Hephaistion's 'condition' (ahem you know the mpreg thing.) and he will still marry. Cassander shall know and will help Hephaistion to keep his secret. Cass and Phai will be sent on a mission and from there they shall make excuses why Phai needs to stay behind. A year later Phai returns, then 3 more months after a boy will be sent to Alexander. And dun dun dun dun dun… the rest is a secret…. I have the plot all in my head. dances
b.)Or Alxander will know and he will not marry roxane, he will help find the solution of how to keep Hephaistion's condition a secret and so on and so on. I don't know where this is heading, I figured that this is what you guys want to happen, but I feel like it will be a cliché.
You can vote by review or by e-mailing me at or by sending me a message anything will do. This will most probably be posted as well at livejournal, foreverfandom, and if you want me to post this somewhere else just tell me, I shall. Oh and even if the choice isn't voted I would most probably write it and post it as well in the end of the fic perhaps or as a separated au fic, but I don't promise it. The second chapter is already typed and ready to post for it is not affected by the voting, it will happen either way, besides it's short.
Oh another thing is, I figured that in mpregs I read it's always a son. Since I'm female, and most females can't help but be feminist at times, on both of those two stories Phai shall a twins, a boy and a girl. It's hard to admit it but females at that times is partly useless. So I made it twins, I hope it's okay with you guys! You can tell me if it's not.
Another thing is I will make them younger here, maybe 23 instead of 28. I hope that it's okay. Again, You can tell me if it's not.
And oh I'm open for suggestions, I'm a reviewer friendly author, I don't bite plus it helps.
There I know you're sick and mad at me, for the A/N ate the fic but I'm only asking for you help. I badly need it right now.
There I already gave you all the reason to review so do!
Now here's a random song that I think summarizes what Phai feels from the past 2 chapters.
241
By
Rivermaya
i want to live forever
inside the
night and days
wish upon the silver cloud
crawling cross the
moon beams
a summer night in heaven
between the stars
aways
gaze across ol' bon fire
trample on my heartbeat
i
wanted to turn you on
my favorite song
wanted to be near
you
but somebody owns you now
i love you with a fire
ablaze
until times ends
but what good is a heart
when it shatters to
speak
i guess it's too late now.
i wanted to turn you on
my
favorite song
wanted to be near you
but somebody owns you
now
i'll try to live somehow
somebody owns you now
i wanted
to turn you on
my favorite wanted to be near you
but of coures
somebody owns you now
and i'll try to live somehow
somebody
owns you now
somebody owns you now