Hello ma dudes! Happy Sunday!

A few notes this time:

You might have noticed that the rating of this fic has gone up - I thought it was time. I've described a dead body in pretty graphic detail, this chapter is fairly violent too. I don't think I'm gonna put sex scenes in this. This romance isn't really very sexual in my mind, although that would happen, so sex scenes would sort of just be there for the sake of it? I dunno, let me know what you think, I'll put warnings if I ever do decide to.

I've had a few questions over time about Charlotte - our fave gal - and just wanted to address them here. According to my calculations, Charlotte was born around 1914. Jasper escaped in 1938, 3 years after Peter, who escaped 1 year after Charlotte was turned - so Charlotte was turned in 1934. There's this feeling deep inside of me that Peter was turned way later than I have him here. I won't lie - it's keeping me up at night. But I need him for the plot. (Could you imagine these chapters without him? Yowch) Rest assured, Charlotte will appear - it'll just be a while.

My thanks again to the wonderful Scribe of the Fey for polishing this up to an actually readable standard!

When Bella's five days of waiting were up, she was ravenous.

The relentless burning in her throat was almost enough to distract her from her mutinous shield. It was barely relieved by the rabbits and birds Peter had been running dangerously far to fetch her. As it was, she could hardly move without shaking that delicate concentration. If she were only holding her shield off herself it might not have been so bad. Stretching it over Peter was usually so easy it had become second nature. But the two in conjunction made it impossible to function. She just sat in her tree with her eyes closed and hoped Maria would have no tasks for her. Peter made a routine of finding jobs that would take him far enough from the camp for her to not need to shield him - but he couldn't do that forever.

A part of her looked forward to the moment when Jasper came back. His presence meant progress. Once he was free from Maria's influence, logically there was nothing else to stop them from escaping.

Aside from the horde of newborns, of course.

Another part of her, the one attached to a shield, was fiercely dreading Jasper's return. Shielding him, as well as Peter, would be nigh on impossible. She was taking on way too much, but realistically, she didn't have a choice. If she were to drop her shield from Peter when he was around Maria, she might notice the fluctuation in his attitude and realise what Bella was doing. There was no doubt that she had already worked out that Bella's shield protected from her gift. Bella had never realised that she should have been pretending to be in love with the warlord. Jasper hadn't known to suggest it.

"The Major's back…" Peter murmured in her ear.

If Jasper was walking back into the camp, it must have been five days since they last saw him. The new newborns (including Bella's progeny) must have woken up so someone else had been sent to watch them for their first week. She wasn't sure if the time had gone painfully slowly or dangerously quickly.

She cracked her eyes open, squinting in the midday Texas sun and the glow reflected off herself and her friend. Jasper was standing in the centre of camp, hands clasped properly behind his back as he observed the soldiers. His dirty blonde hair was pushed back from his face; showing off the fine angle of his cheekbones and curling around his eyes were a dark red, from a couple of weeks without feeding.

Bella focused her pitch-black ones on him and slowly, inch by inch, wrestled the shield over him. The effort made her dizzy, she would have pitched forward were it not for Peter's steadying hand on her shoulder. She wanted to close her eyes again, to take away the light and the movement from the world around her, but she was glad she didn't when she saw his reaction.

It had worked. Jasper's head shot up from where it had been cast low towards the ground. His back tensed and shoulders pulled back. His stance widened, knees bent, and a snarl pulled at his lips. He stood like that for a moment, shock still. Only his wide eyes darted around him, looking at the world like it was his first time seeing it.

His chest heaved with a deep breath and he finally turned to the tree, where Bella and Peter peered back at him. He held their gazes for a moment, his brow furrowed; then a wave of sadness, confusion and fear reached them, making their heads spin and bellies feel weak. He ran a hand over his face and pulled back on a fistful of his hair. Then he turned on his heel and marched away into the canopy of trees.

Bella finally let her eyes slide shut to concentrate on him while he was still close enough. She grasped on to the essence of him and held her shield there, letting him pull it with him as he walked away. She couldn't cover him for more than half a mile, but her range appeared to be much larger than Maria's.

Peter let out a breath. "Well, that went better than I thought it would. Was half-convinced he'd attack Maria for a second there. That would'a gone bad."

Bella couldn't answer, but he had grown accustomed to one-sided conversations in the time that they had been waiting.

"Poor guy looks like he's havin' a crisis…" Peter continued. "Ya think I should go after him? Nah… He'll have questions and probably be mad. I'd rather not have anything ripped offa me. I would say you should talk to him if it were possible. He's nicer to you than he is to me. Maybe it's 'cause yer a lady. I've always got the feelin' off him that under all that angry soldier business he's a right gentleman. Think he came from gentlefolk? I wouldn't be surprised-"

Were they one-sided conversations or just rambling monologues? Bella couldn't decide.

Eventually, Peter left her with the promise of finding her something to eat and a task of some sort that would take him and Jasper away for her to have a break. Bella was grateful when they walked together out of the range of her shield, which snapped back to her like a rubber band. She struggled to hold it up over her with the force.

Peter had timed this well, for Bella's purposes. She needed to do something, something that involved opening her eyes and moving. He and Jasper had volunteered to go round up more humans for the second feed, the first one was almost there.

"...if there's a human in the camp they are already doomed. It is more important that you stay alive."

She repeated Jasper's words in her head over and over as she climbed down from her tree and made her way to the pit in the centre of camp.

She needed this. She could never keep up what she was doing on tiny amounts of animal blood alone. If her shield slipped then they could all be dead. This was necessary, it was justified. That was the only reason why she was walking towards the feeding ground.

She suppressed the monster inside her that was far too happy about this decision.

She pictured her family's faces despite desperately trying not to. They would understand. They would forgive her. They had told her themselves.

Emmett… "Just do whatever it takes to survive, Bells."

Carlisle… "...if you find yourself in a position where you are feeding on humans, whether it was a slip-up, a forced situation, or by choice; know that I do not judge you."

Esme… "You could never disappoint me, my darling."

Rose... "Remember, you'll live for eternity. That's too long to linger forever on the fickle lives of humans."

Bella had a feeling that Alice hadn't thought about it. Couldn't think about it.

A carriage rattled ever closer to the camp. Newborns started to congregate around Bella, forced to hold themselves back from leaping at their prey until they had word from a lieutenant. She supposed they thought she was in charge. She felt sick at the thought.

Anton led a procession of humans towards the pit, ten of them. Their whimpers were almost drowned out by the growls and snarls that fell from the newborns' burning throats.

He caught sight of her and frowned. This was very unlike her, feeding from a human voluntarily. The lie that she abstained from human blood to make it taste better had slipped over the past weeks, clearly. Still, he nodded at her and held three humans back rather than the usual two for him and Maria.

He shoved the rest into the pit before them and ordered them to stand up. Bella knew from experience that she wished she didn't have that if they were allowed to cower on the floor when the newborns descended, they would just get trampled to death and waste blood.

She really really wished she didn't know that.

The humans stood on shaking feet and desperately stared around for mercy. Many of their eyes lingered on her, the only one there who was properly clothed and not snarling at the sight of them. She couldn't meet their eyes, choosing instead to look at Anton. He was in charge here; it wasn't her fault, it wasn't her doing.

With a jerk of his hand, Anton allowed the newborns to leap into the pit. They almost carried her with them, but Bella stood firm. There were several newborns per human - that's why they needed multiple lots. It was a brutal way to die. It was hard to ignore the screams.

Anton herded his three extra humans towards her, looking into the pit with practiced indifference.

"You'll be partakin' this time, I take it?"

She just nodded, taking the arm of the human he pushed towards her with a gentle hand.

"Just shove it in the pit when you're done."

She stared straight forwards, not able to look her quivering victim in the face.

She was a good person, she had control, she had kept her humanity. This was necessary, this was unavoidable. If she didn't do this, she would most likely die.

"You are my heart and soul. My world begins and ends with you. Live, my love. Just stay alive for me. I'm begging you."

She didn't have a choice, she told herself as she bit down into her victim's soft neck.

But deep down she knew. Of course, she did.

The drained body fell into the pit with a thump, and snarls surged as the newborns tried to scavenge any drops of blood left over. Bella was fairly certain she had left none.

She flexed the edges of her shield, more defined and infinitely more controllable. The human blood had done its job, giving her strength and drowning that monster inside of her...for the time being.

She made her way back to her perch in the tree, to close her eyes and wait until Peter and Jasper came back. Peter would most likely bring a rabbit or something, wriggling in his stone hands, expecting her to be starving still. She would keep up what she was doing before, of course, to conserve as much energy as possible. She would try not to kill anyone else. She would try her best.

"Belle?"

She huffed. Of course Anton came back, of course he did.

"Yes?"

"Maria wants to see you."

"Okay," She sighed and steeled her hold over her shield. "I'm coming."

"Now."

Bella heaved herself off the branch and trekked across the camp to Maria's tent, avoiding the growling and scrabbling that still came from the feeding pit.

Maria turned when she lingered in the entrance. "Belle! It has been too long since we talked!"

Her words were friendly enough, but there was a hard edge to her voice now. Bella realised with a jolt that Anton must have told her what they talked about five days before. She had accepted that this would be a possibility, of course. But knowing that your survival is only based on your usefulness was an unnerving experience. Bella could feel, as she walked further into the tent, that if she didn't have a shield - she would be dead.

But that wasn't the only thing she felt. There was a familiar sensation on her shoulders, like a tentative push. Bella scourged her mind as to where she had felt it before, then she realised. She had felt this when she first met Maria, that first day in the camp. As she walked away she had felt something pushing against her shield and trying to get through. She had thought it was Anton, but she was wrong. It was Maria.

That familiar pushing hit her again, but it wasn't stopped by her ever-present shield. It sailed right on under it, hit her in the heart and spread all over her body.

Maria shook her raven mane out over her shoulder and placed a hand on the soft curve of her hip.

"So," She chimed. "Dear Anton told me you partook in the feeding just now!"

Bella lowered her head in respect, but couldn't bear to fully draw her eyes away. "Yes, Ma'am. Animal blood just wasn't enough for me anymore."

"Well, I respect that. But…" Maria sighed. "I am sad I didn't get to see. You were so beautiful last time, so animalistic... So feral!"

Sadness cut Bella through the chest like a knife. She had been so thoughtless, so immature. She hadn't thought of anyone's needs other than her own. Selfish. How could she not have thought that Maria would have wanted to watch? Did she not owe her for taking her in?

"I...I'm so sorry, Ma'am!" Bella gasped. "I didn't think! Please, how can I make it up to you?"

Maria's mouth opened, but she remained silent. Her gaze flickered to Anton, then back to Bella, then back to Anton, then back to Bella again. Her ruby eyes sparkled and full lips spread over white teeth in a delighted grin.

She looked at Bella like she had never seen her before. "Oh my Belle!" She cupped Bella's cheek in her hand, Bella leaned into the contact. "You are so darling to be so distressed. Don't you worry, I'm sure you can make it up to me!"

"Thank you, Ma'am…"

"Here, come sit by me sweet girl." Maria sat herself on a high back chair in the centre of the room; her throne.

Bella sat on the packed dirt floor before her. Maria lowered a hand to play with the younger vampire's hair.

"Now, Belle." Maria teased her hands through Bella's knotted hair, combing it and smoothing it until the girl purred. "You and Peter spend an awful lot of time together up in the treetops. I must say I have been feeling rather neglected."

Bella gasped and tried to stand and apologise, but Maria's soothing hands kept her down.

"Shhhh, my girl." She cooed. "It will all be okay. I just need to know one thing. What is it that you and Peter talk about up there? You're always whispering about this and that, as if you are making grand plans. What are they?"

"Um…" Bella desperately wanted to tell her. She could never deny her lady anything. But would telling her upset her more? Bella didn't know what she had been thinking, plotting to leave Maria. Obviously those plans were at an end, but if Maria were to know of them it would break her heart. Bella needed to keep them a secret and hope that Peter would understand.

"Just tell me, my darling." Maria prompted. "I won't be upset. I promise."

"Well…"

"Bella!"

Bella flinched. She had been so focussed on Maria that her surroundings had faded away. She turned and saw Jasper at the entrance to the tent, his eyes wide with horror. She frowned for a moment, what right did he have to look so upset? He sat like this with Maria all the time. A surge of jealousy rose up. Was he trying to take this away from her?

Jasper made a strangled noise and something in her struggled back. She was supposed to be shielding him, wasn't she? She wasn't sure what for. The only thing she was fairly certain of was that it was to do with whatever she and Peter had been planning against Maria. So shielding him must be the wrong thing to do. But Jasper looked like he was suffering and something deep inside her howled at the thought.

She held on to Maria's hand for strength and stretched her shield out over him. Every inch was slow, but eventually it covered him fully and his whole body uncoiled in relief.

Maria was getting impatient. "Major. What the hell are you doing? What do you want?"

"I'm sorry Ma'am, it's just…" Jasper paused for a second, growls and snaps and snarls grew behind him. "Somethin's got the newborns riled up real good and my gift isn't cuttin' it to calm them down. I was wonderin' if Anton and Belle could back me up out here."

Maria huffed. "Anton yes, but not Belle. Belle shall stay with me."

Jasper looked pained but gave a short bow. "Yes Ma'am."

Bella tilted her head back into Maria's hand with a contented sigh. Then she realised someone was looking at her from the doorway. It was Peter, who she absolutely couldn't be near if she were ever to earn Maria's trust again. Yet still, there was this deep need inside of her to protect him from something.

She took her shield where it was still attached to Jasper and slowly spread it over Peter as well. He gave her a sharp grin and a wink when she was done.

"Now, my Belle… Where were we?" Maria combed through her hair again. "Ah yes, you were telling me all about what you and Peter get up to."

She should really just tell her, Bella thought. The only way to truly earn Maria's trust was to be trustworthy. She couldn't start any kind of worthy relationship with this woman that was based on lies. She owed it to her to tell the truth, apologise for her mistakes and ask if they could start again.

Before Bella could open her mouth to speak, there was a spectacular ripping noise and a newborn flew through the side of the tent; straight into the chair Maria was sitting in. It sent her clattering to the ground with a growl.

Bella jumped up, snarl at her lips, ready to maul the bastard that had done this. But someone came up behind her, clamped her arms to her sides and pulled her backwards as Maria stormed from the tent in front of her.

Maria shouted at the angry horde but they just got louder. Bella struggled in her captor's arms, her lady was surely in danger out there.

She was pulled backwards out of the empty tent and into the treeline, struggling all the way. Her captor let her go, only to grab her shoulders and spin her to face him. Peter, of course it was.

"Put your shield down." He ordered.

"What?" Bella gasped. "No. Don't we need it up for Anton or something?"

"Anton's distracted." He nodded to where the lieutenant was ripping newborns limb from limb and roaring like a lion. "You can put it down, just for a sec."

"No…" Bella had no idea why she didn't want the shield back down, but there was a voice in her head screaming that it needed to stay up.

"Bella!" Peter shook her. "Remember why you are here! You need to put your shield down to remove Maria's influence on you! Now!"

How ridiculous. Bella's feelings were her own. Maria would never do such a thing.

"Maria isn't influencing me!" She scoffed.

"Then it won't hurt to put it down!" Peter responded. "Just for a moment! If nothin' happens then no harm done."

Bella grumbled and slid her eyes shut to get a handle on her shield. It was stretched in front of her over Peter and about a quarter of a mile to the left, over Jasper. The whole thing was suspended over her head, held up by the might of her mind. Although, holding her shield up felt distinctly easier. It was as if there were something else there, in Bella's mind. Some presence that wanted that shield up and off her, something that was taking the load off Bella herself.

With a wince, she pushed that presence aside and let go, and the thing came slamming back down over her eyes. Her ears rang and head wobbled like she had whiplash. The shield stammered, but she maintained the cover over Peter and Jasper. Then the clarity hit.

Oh… Her eyes shot to Peter's. That's what Maria's gift felt like.

He looked almost as if he was scared of her. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" She massaged her temples. She was exhausted, even though she felt better than she had in a long time with her belly full of blood and shield in her own head. There was a particularly loud whine behind them. "Is there a full-on war happening behind us?"

"Jasper did a little messin' with everyone's emotions." Peter grabbed her shoulder and pulled her to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held tight. "You have a couple'a minutes to catch your breath before he needs to cool it down and Anton won't be so distracted anymore."

Bella sighed and relaxed in her friend's embrace. She would savour this moment of peace and ease, since she wasn't sure when she would get the next one.

Only one thing was certain. She couldn't keep this up for much longer.