Oh hi my guy

There was such an amazing reception to the last chapter, I'm seriously blown away! Like geez guys! Tbh I'm not totally happy with this one but my dissertation draft is due in two weeks so I guess I'll just edit it later! xD I hope you enjoy x

Not beta-d all mistakes are my own! (Feel free to point them out, I spotted four just while formatting it to post)

[Oh! And bold italics are quotes from Jasper's letters]

And now I have told you everything, I am going to beg you one last time not to go.

"C'mon!" Peter's whisper carried to her through the wind. "The river's this way!"

Trees sped by them as they sprinted west away from the newborns nipping at their heels. Bella clutched at her mangled elbow, trying to stem the venom leaking steadily from it.

Peter led her to the bank of the Colorado river, the site of the next phase of their plan. Not that anything thus far had gone to plan. Peter was still running in top form, all guns blazing. He took a flying leap across the river and spat on a tree there. Then he rubbed his back on another and ripped some of the venom sodden sleeve off Bella's dismembered limb, then threw it miles into the distance. All to make it seem like they had jumped over the river and were continuing to run west.

Bella, however, found that when her legs stopped moving, her brain kicked in.

Every second of pain, every drop of venom spilled from you is my fault.

They had left Jasper behind. All this had been to find him, to save him, instead all she had done was shake up his life in the camp and steal away the one person that made him feel anything positive. Maria would most likely punish him for this. She might even kill him for it. He was probably already back under her thrall, a mindless loving zombie bound to her every whim. Bella had condemned him to this, she had done worse than nothing at all.

The pain and regret she felt then compounded into panic when she realised she had left her bag behind. That bag contained evidence of the future, the last words her Jasper had to say to his past self and his brother. It had a tape recorder that wouldn't be invented for another century, colour photographs printed on paper that would never degrade. In terms of time travel, she had committed a mortal sin.

How would she convince Jasper and Peter without this evidence? She had Carlisle, there were likely other pictures buried under the tree that she could use - but other than that, what was there? Jasper's letters? She was a vampire, it would be easy for her to copy handwriting, she'd seen Alice do it a thousand times before. There was nothing. She was nothing. She had failed.

Unless she turned around right that second and marched back into the camp.

"Bella?"

Peter was ready to go. He watched her contemplate with a dangerous look on his face.

"Peter, I-"

"No." He growled. "You can't go back."

"But we have to get Jasper! We can't leave him here!"

"Do you really think that if you go back there, you'll survive to leave again?" He grasped her shoulders and shook her. "We are lucky to still be alive, Bells. Dont'cha see that? We have to run while we still can."

"But…" Bella raised her remaining hand to her forehead. This would be impossible to explain without any context. "My bag…"

"Who cares about your fuckin' bag, Bella?" Peter snarled. "Care about us! Is savin' the bag more important than your life? Is it more important than mine?"

'You should leave without me' was on the tip of her tongue but she stopped herself from saying it. Peter would whack her if she did, he would throw her right into that river. He would rip her up, carry her in pieces, and put her back together when they were safe. It was dumb, of course he wouldn't leave her behind.

The look in his eyes said he knew she'd thought it.

"If we're lucky, the newborns are fifteen minutes away from us." He growled. "We're spendin' too much time standin' still. So are we goin'?"

Bella gulped and cringed in pain, both from failing so badly and being without a limb. She didn't have the energy to spare reattaching her arm, so instead it stayed safe in Peter's grasp. She would have quite a scar when she finally got it back.

She couldn't leave Jasper. But she had to. This was impossible, she couldn't make herself decide. After all this, she couldn't just let him go.

But she had to. It was run or die.

I forgive you if you choose not to do this. No matter what, I will always forgive you.

"Okay…" She whispered. Peter nodded and turned back to the river. The current headed in the opposite direction of the way they were heading, which would hopefully disguise their scent more.

"Oh no wait!" Bella gasped.

Peter snarled and zipped over to her, hands back on her shoulders. "What?! What else could possibly be more important than our survival right now?!"

"Hold on! Hold on…" She evaded Peter's grasp. "I have to raise my shield for a second."

"What? Are you crazy?!"

"Just to give Anton a glimpse!" She rubbed at the pulsing pain in her spine. "So he doesn't decide it would be a better idea to track Jasper again. He thinks it's an effort to shield myself - remember? He needs to think I might slip up."

Peter let out a short growl, his nostrils flared. "Fine." He said. "But make it quick."

"So quick!" She reassured and closed her eyes. The panic of their escape was still pulsing through her still veins. It was a struggle to find the control within her to wrench that shield back off her head and up in the air. The pulse doubled in strength and speed. She waited one second, then two seconds, then dropped it like a guillotine.

"Okay. Let's go!"

"Woman, yer gonna give me apoplexy."

Despite the urge to leap straight into the river, they slowly and smoothly lowered themselves in to avoid tell tale splashes. They directed themselves right to the bottom of the river bed and started to swim, weaving through the various flora that lived there carefully enough not to damage it. They had to disappear without a trace, that was the only way to get out of there.

They swam about an hour north through the Colorado river, until it started to veer west again. There they pulled themselves free of the current and climbed on to the river banks. Bella's heavy woolen skirt was so waterlogged it was warping and trying to drag itself off her body. Unwilling to deal with such an inconvenience, she ripped it off and shredded it into a thousand pieces, then deposited them back into the river. Her petticoats would dry quickly in the sun.

Peter was in a similar state of disarray to her. His blonde curls spread wildly around his head like a halo where he'd run his hands through them, sopping wet and frizzing where they dried. His shirt was completely shredded, hanging off his arms and torso to show the pale skin and bite marks underneath. Looking down at herself, Bella realised hers was much the same.

She squeezed the excess water out of her hair and with a nod they set off east, towards Dallas. They were finally out of newborn territory. This area was most likely claimed by some warlord or another, but there were no markers and no sound or smell of another vampire for miles around. Bella saw some actual wildlife for the first time in months. With Peter's silent blessing she took down two deer and finally had enough blood in her to reattach her arm.

All limbs attached, they ran with slightly more optimism than before; although what they left behind still weighed on them.

Peter spoke in the silence for the first time since they jumped in the river.

"I believe this is the farthest north I've ever been."

"Really?" Bella smiled. "I have a feeling you'll have to get used to the North for a while."

"Yeah…" Peter grimaced. "I'm sure as hell not comin' back here for a while."

Bella tried not to let her emotions show on her face. She would be back. The second Peter was safe and distracted, she would run straight back to Maria's camp and pluck Jasper out. There would be no slow going, no quietly trying to convince him. She would go in the dead of night, grab him and run. If she died, she died.

She just couldn't leave him there. He had buried himself deep into her soul, running away from him felt like ripping a part away.

I could not bear it if harm came to you because of me.

It was once they got about level with Dallas that they slowed down and realised the hole in their plan. They were trying to find Garrett and Kate, simple in concept. But that meant Bella was trying to sniff out two vampires that Peter wouldn't recognise. Two vampires that were being fairly cautious with their tracks so that they wouldn't have issues with the warlords. Everyone was expecting Bella to have thought this out more. They were expecting her to have a date and a time to run so that they could meet her and support her. This was all a giant mess and now she and Peter were wandering in the wilderness around Dallas trying to sniff out a needle in a giant haystack.

Peter finally responded to her rising panic. "Keep it together, Bells."

"Oh God, but I can't find them! What if I can't find them?"

"Then we'll just head to Kansas without them." Peter frowned and stroked her hair away from her face, dried but disgusting from the river bed. "It's okay, Bells. This is the negotiable part of the plan."

"Yeah, but it isn't…" Bella groaned. "Or I guess it is… I just… I really feel like I need backup right now. Y'know? It feels vulnerable with just the two of us and I'm worried about leading anyone straight to Carlisle and it's just stressful and I need someone who knows what they're doing!"

Peter just stared bemused at her as she continued to rant.

"... not that you don't know what you're doing! Although you don't really know any more than me. The leading the newborns away thing was a really smart move though. But I don't feel like I have any clue and I know I'm twenty three but I'm also sort of five and I feel like I need someone way older to just take this shitstack of a situation out of my hands and fix it. I just need someone to fix it!"

"Okay!" Peter interjected. "Okay, Bells… it's alright. It's all gonna be alright." He pulled her into a hug and stroked soothing lines into her back. "This is a stressful situation, you're right. But we're gonna think it through, we're gonna make a plan, and we're not gonna freak out. Okay?"

"Okay…" She whined into his shoulder.

So please, dear Bella. Please don't go.

"Now." Peter pulled her back to look at her properly. "They say they're in Dallas. Maybe they're in the city proper? Let's look there."

"Peter we're in rags." Bella smiled sadly. "It looks like we've been attacked, the sheriff would pick us up. And besides." She pointed up to the midday sun beating down on them, sending beams of light shooting off her skin. "We're kinda conspicuous."

"True…" Peter chuckled. "I'm not used to havin' to play human. Okay… so we wait 'til nightfall? No.. we can't stay in one place that long… Err, how about…"

Bella had stopped paying attention. She was focussed on a strange sight behind him, one she wasn't expecting to see, hadn't expected to see ever again.

A girl, swamped in a large cloak and puffy dress. Her large uninterested eyes peeked out from the oversized hood, her hands grasping at nothing, her feet floating a foot from the floor. She was transparent enough for Bella to see the trees through her.

Selina. The girl who had brought her here.

Bella poked Peter in the shoulder, interrupting him mid ramble, and pointed towards the tiny time traveller. "Do you see that?"

He frowned. "See what?"

"That girl, over there."

Peter whirled around like he was expecting an attacker, but slowed and raised an eyebrow.

"No Bells, I don't see anyone. What do you see?"

"Err… I'm not sure…" She would explain later, when she could use context.

Bella crept closer to the spectre. The last time she saw her was back in Montana, when she had first arrived. She hadn't stayed visible for long enough to communicate, but seemed to be lingering this time.

Selina watched her come closer, her expression never wavering. Then, after a moment, she closed her eyes and pointed to their left.

"What?" Bella whispered. "Where are you pointing?"

Selina rolled her eyes (the first expression of emotion Bella had ever seen from her) and pointed again. Over there.

"Is that…" Bella turned to the direction she was being pointed to and then back to the girl. "Is that where I need to go? Is that where Kate and Garrett are?"

Selina stared at her like she wouldn't care if she dropped dead. Then rolled her eyes again and gave one stiff nod. Bella beamed, but before she could try to thank her the girl disappeared without a trace.

She turned back to Peter, who was looking at her like she'd grown a third head.

"I know where to go." She grinned.

"You do…?"

"Yes!" She couldn't stop her elation, or the relieved grin on her face. "It's this way!"

Just stay safe and wait for me.

They never would have found Kate and Garrett on their own. Selina's directions involved them doubling back on themselves and going directly south of Dallas, a direction they hadn't thought to go in. Peter grumbled, wanting an explanation he wouldn't get. But even he shut up when after twenty minutes of running in a straight line, they finally came across the scent of two vampires.

Peter came to a halt and breathed deeply. "That them, Bells?"

"Yeah!" She gasped. "Yeah yeah yeah! That's them!"

The scent was fairly fresh, perhaps an hour old, so they hunted around until they found the couple's trail and followed it.

The forest thinned out to a tiny wood cabin, falling apart to the point where it would hardly give shelter from the rain. They could hear murmuring from within, there were two people in there.

Just wait for me.

- Jasper

Bella was too excited to hold back. "Kate!"

There was a thud and a pause. "... Bella?"

The cabin door swung open and a head of brilliant blonde hair peaked out. Kate gleamed in the sunshine and set out in a run, sprinting before her cousin and clasping her cheeks in her palms.

"Oh thank the Lord you're alright!" She gasped.

She turned Bella's head this way and that, assessing the damage. Then she moved to her shoulders and arms, right the way down to her legs, barely covered by the slits in her petticoats. Her quiet eyes took note of every scar, every injury, every rip, every mark. Her frown deepened and she looked like she was about to say something; but a grinning Garrett came running up behind her and swept them both into a hug.

"Little traveller! You're intact!" He laughed. "And I see you brought company."

He nodded to Peter, who lingered far behind them. Bella held out a hand, gesturing him to come closer.

"Peter." She said. "This is Kate and Garrett, my cousins. You two, this is Peter."

"Charmed." Garrett smirked. "We have heard much about you."

"And I you." Peter murmured, not quite comfortable in this whole social interaction thing.

Kate gave him a passing smile, but had a bigger question on her mind. "Where's Jasper?"

Everyone looked at Bella, who began to stammer under the pressure.

"Um… I…"

"We…" Peter thankfully stepped in for her. "Had to run quite unexpectedly. We were chased out and had to leave him behind."

Kate gasped. "He's not… he's not dead is he?"

"No!" Bella tugged a hand through her knotted hair and only succeeded in getting it stuck. Now she had the relief of being with familiar people, the reality of the situation was hitting her. "Oh God I hope not. Oh shit he could be. Oh fucking shitting hell what the F-"

"Woah Bells!" Peter grasped the hand stuck in her mane and carefully extracted it from the knots. "You're spiraling. He's the Major. There's no way he's dead."

"You really think Anton wouldn't kill him?" She whispered.

He shrugged. "I don't think he'd succeed."

Bella bit her lip. Now that her trail was covered and the evening light was dwindling, the urge to turn straight around was stronger than ever.

"Bells." Peter growled. "For the last time. You are not goin' back."

"How did you know-"

"I just had a feelin' you were thinking about somethin' stupid."

"Bella, no! You absolutely can not go back." Kate grasped Bella's hands and pulled them to her chest. "No, darling please no. You've been ripped apart and put back together enough as it is. You can't go back. Please don't do that to us."

"You don't understand…" Bella whispered.

"I know you want to get Jasper back…" Kate replied. "I understand, darling. I do. But I am sure you have done enough for him to get himself out. I'm certain you have given him the will to escape."

"There's no way. You haven't felt Maria's gift. It's impossible to resist."

"Maria has a gift?"

"It makes you feel as if you're in love with her." Peter said. "You can't even tell when she puts it on ya, feels so natural. It can make you forget what you were doin', what you were thinkin', who you really care for."

"See!" Bella gasped. "He'll never get out on his own! And that's not all! I… I let my bag behind…"

Kate and Garrett both gasped, their eyes wide.

"With everything in it?!"

Bella nodded, Peter grumbled.

"What the hell is it with you folks and this damn bag?"

The couple ignored him.

"Sweet girl, it's quite a loss. But nothing compared to your life."

"Aren't I doing the universe a disservice or something by leaving it? What if someone goes through it?"

"Well the universe will just have to cope, darling."

Peter groaned. "What the hell is happenin'?"

Garrett darkly chuckled and reached around the girls to clap him on the back. "I find it's easier to just let them talk when they get like this, friend. Now, exactly how far behind you do you think this army is?"

With Peter led away and distracted, Kate brought her tone back down to a whisper. "How much does he know?"

"Barely anything," Bella breathed back. "The camp was too much, I couldn't risk him reacting badly and drawing attention."

"Understandable, darling." Kate bit her lip. "I would want to go back too, if it were Garrett or one of my sisters… or you, in fact. But you can't. They will be on guard and if he cares for you I doubt he will be let out of that witch's sight."

Bella screwed her eyes shut and huffed out a breath. This was exactly what she was scared of. Now that she was surrounded by family, she would be ushered up North and wrapped in cotton wool. She would soften back into the little girl she usually was and then she'd be absolutely useless when she did manage to convince them to let her go back. If she ever did.

"Please, Kate. I can't leave him."

"I know, sweetheart." Kate drew her into a tight hug. "I know…"

Bella let herself snuggle into her embrace for a moment, breathing in that smell of home. It was the scent that clung to all the letters lovingly left for her in the post office. Floral and cotton fresh. Kate had been that one little hint of home in the camp. That one essence of who she was supposed to be outside of it. She never expected to be finally reunited with her and yet still be tied to that God forsaken place.

"Well it looks like we've got ourselves a plan!" Garrett announced, leading Peter back to them with a jovial arm swung around his shoulders. It appeared that despite Peter's discomfort, Garrett had managed to win him over. "We run west to Colorado, climb Pike's Peak, then jump off it and run south to Kansas."

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Do you know how confusing someone tracking us would find that? By the time they even figure out what direction we're headed in, we'll be halfway to Canada."

She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a twig breaking behind them. The group swung around and ducked into defensive crouches. Kate tried to pull Bella behind her, but she stood firm. She was just as strong as them.

The broken twig turned into footsteps, slowly but steadily coming towards them. A rumble began to form in Bella's chest.

She struggled to stay still, as a tall man slowly came into view between the trees. His clothes were even more ripped than they had been before, his dirty blond hair blown back and windswept, his eyes bright red from feeding.

Jasper awkwardly stared back at the group and gingerly placed what he was holding on the ground. Bella's satchel.

"You… left this." He stupidly murmured.

They were silent for a moment, processing. Then Bella's thoughts caught up with her and before she could reconsider she threw herself into his arms.

After a split second of hesitation, Jasper's arms came up and wrapped around her torso, lifting her off the ground. One squeezed at her waist and the other held her head to his neck. He gently nuzzled into her hair and inhaled deeply at her jaw.

"I was worried." He whispered. "I was so worried they'd kill you before I could find you."

"We thought the same about you…" She replied, her words muffled by his shoulder.

Peter snorted behind her. "She wanted to turn back."

Jasper grunted into her hair but didn't move or let her go. "Idiot."

Bella was content to just stay there in her newfound happy place. If she thought Kate smelled like home, Jasper was a whole different story. Being nestled in his chest felt like being back in the future, where his scent clung to everything, more complex and mixed than his now - but still him nonetheless. But it was more than that, he was every shared experience, every low moment he had dragged her out of. She was in his arms, so she was home.

He eventually relaxed his hold on her to lower her to the ground; releasing his left arm to quickly embrace Peter. The right still rested on the small of Bella's back.

"Glad you're alive, brother." Peter laughed.

Jasper smirked. "Likewise."

"We're certainly happy about it!" Garrett drawled from behind the trio.

Bella snorted and turned Jasper to face the pair, their eyebrows were raised in a twin expression of disbelief. "Kate, Garret; this is Jasper. Jasper; Kate and Garrett."

Jasper awkwardly cleared his throat. "From the letters."

"Yes!" Kate said. "You read the letters?"

"Just one. That is actually how I knew where to find you, you mentioned Dallas in the one I read."

"We had some real trouble," said Peter. "I'm not even sure how we ended up in the right direction in the end. Bella did somethin' strange."

"That is hardly unheard of!" Garrett joked, but Kate frowned at her cousin.

Bella shook her head. "Don't worry. I'll talk to Carlisle about it." She turned to Jasper, towering beside her. "So how did you find us in this spot specifically? Is anyone chasing you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You think I would be standin' here chattin' if someone were followin' me? No. In the confusion I took a group of newborns and declared I was checkin' north. Then I headed up the safest route to Dallas from the camp, since I figured it would be the one your cousin takes; caught her scent and followed it here. I killed the newborns about twenty miles back."

"So we're okay?" Bella tentatively grinned. "We escaped?"

"So long as we keep movin', I s'pose so," He smirked. "So where next?"

"Pike's Peak!" Garrett declared. "On our way to Kansas!"

"Ah! Scale the peak, jump off it and run east? Clever."

Kate stared incredulously at both tacticians as if they were speaking Latin. "Well then! Since we are full of excellent ideas," she wrapped an arm around Bella. "Let's go home!"