Author's Notes: Double. Chapter. Update.

X

A Glimpse of the Past...

"Why all this damn hair?"

Sadi gathered Nadi's hair in her fist and gave it a sharp tug. The young Dwarve screamed and pressed her hands against her scalp. She felt as if each and every strand was being yanked from its follicle, and she feared that if her mother pulled any harder she would be bald. Sadi swatted her hands away and turned her around. Her eyes narrowed and her nose crinkled as she surveyed Nadi's face. Now that the cloud of tangled hair had been pulled away, her daughter looked younger. There, finally, she could see the plumpness that rounded out the girl's cheeks and the glimmer in her watering eyes. Sadi let her go with a sigh and tousled her hair in preparation for a new experiment.

"I remember when you were a wee lass, the entire forest would somehow get tangled up in your hair. You'd come home dragging brush and twig and leaf in your locs. Could've mistaken you for a moving bush were it not for your little black eyes staring back at me. Imagine that: a bush dragging its way through my garden, crying out for supper and whatnot." She gathered another fistful of Nadi's air and pressed it behind her ear. "So much hair," she said again, peering around Nadi's shoulder. "Perhaps we should cut it-"

"Ma, no!" Nadi cried. Sadi's hair had been shorn short, with a slanted part between the bushel of neat black curls. A Dwarven woman with short hair and no beard was unheard of, but Sadi didn't care. Long hair had proven to be impractical in the forest. It obscured one's eyes and got caught in low-hanging branches.

Nadi attempted to run but Sadi pulled her back and wedged her tight between her strong knees. Tongue between her teeth, she began to shuffle her fingers through Nadi's hair, creating braids thick as the girl's wrist that looped beneath her ears and then were fastened at the back of her head.

"Your father had a solution," she muttered to herself as she moved to the other side of her head. "He braided his hair thick, he did, and then let it sit like that for months. Those braids of his, they meshed together and formed strong strands, thick like rope, which he tied together behind his neck, like so. I'd never seen something like that before. Nobody had."

"And then what happened?" Nadi asked. "Did he cut them off?"

Sadi yanked her hair again and Nadi cringed. "No, child. He grew them long. So long that they crept past his knees and his boots. Longer and longer they grew until they slivered like many black snakes behind him. He had a weaver from Dale create for them a silk carpet of red, which he tied to his neck. The other end he placed beneath his hair so that it would not drag upon the ground. Aye, they kept growing and growing until they stretched out for miles behind him - into the mountains, below the lakes, through valleys and caverns until one day they wound their way into a cave on the other side of the earth. A troll's cave. Now, that troll didn't like that one bit. So he took the end of your father's hair and tied it tight around a tree. Then! One hundred years later, your father tried to walk up a set of stairs but his hair was still caught upon that ancient tree. It pulled him back and then snapped his head clean off, like that! Woosh!"

"Scary," Nadi breathed.

"If you believe such things. Nay, the story isn't true. I just told you so that you'd sit still long enough to let me finish your hair. Now. Let me look at you, come on, hurry up."

Nadi stood dutifully and turned to face her mother. Sadi put her hand to her chin and swept her gaze around Nadi's face. For the first time in her life, Nadi was wearing a dress. It was the color of the summer cream that swirled within the barrels of Dale. The sleeves bunched at the shoulders and ballooned out along the curves of her arms, with small slits that opened between a wide-set row of tiny pearls. A high leather corset cinched a dark blue cape beneath her breast, which then extended along her stomach and swept out over her skirts. The skirts themselves were heavily pleated and swirled along Nadi's feet every time that she moved.

"Hmm," Sadi said. "Once a woodland lass, always a woodland lass, I'm afraid. You'll trip over your own feet before you ever make it to the altar. But maybe if we trim your beard..."

"What's wrong with my beard?!"

Her mother hissed in disgust and waved her hand dismissively. Her own cheeks were rough but bare. Sadi had always been meticulous about shaving her beard off. Nadi had never seen so much as a single whisker grow on her mother's face.

"Dwarves and their beards," she said, rooting around in her cabinet for a shearing knife. "And for what? No other race of women has hair on their face. Not even the Elves, and they're fond of growing their hair long. Seen 'em before, the ladies with their high, proud cheeks. And do you know how I knew that they were high and proud? Because there was no hair there to make you question it. Come here, little girl! "

"Ma! Ma! Please, wait. Just hear me out! What'll they think of me when I walk in there without a beard? They already think I'm odd, and 'unfit to rule.' They think I'm a loose woman ," she whispered this last part in awe, casting her eyes around as she did so as if there were hidden ears within the walls.

Sadi stopped prodding at her teeth long enough to give Nadi a curious glance. "Aren't you? I've heard the rumors. Those Durin boys have got you spit-roasted like a pig!"

" Ma! "

Sadi laughed uproariously and stuck her tongue between the gap in her front teeth. "Oh, hold your nervous little tongue! Do not look at me so! Looseness has been here in this world since the beginning of time! See here, it's a vintage art, of sorts. People like to stuff it in the back of their minds and hold it there. They cherish it, dip their tongues in it from time to time, taste the forbidden wine. A loose woman is smiled at to her face, talked about behind her back, and revered in the chambers. And don't you want to be revered, eh, Nadi? Besides-" she raised her voice, seeing as the blushing young Dwarve was about to interject. "Besides! They're quite handsome, aren't they? Those Durin boys. Especially the raven-haired one…Kili, is it?"

"Then why don't you wed him?" Nadi hissed as she fingered the silver bangles strung about her hair. "Since I no longer have that option."

Sadi snorted. "I can smell the afterbirth behind his ears from miles away. Too young for me. Nay, but, listen. I have something to tell you. That boy Fili, that's not the one for you."

Nadi wrung her hands over her face and moaned, "Ma, please, I'm begging you. The entirety of Erebor already believes-"

"SILENCE! Before I hit you again. The entirety of Erebor can polish my arse, little girl. But know this…" Sadi placed herself in front of her daughter and interlaced their fingers. For once her eyes were gentle, sparkling, even, as if with hidden knowledge. "You marry that boy and he'll make you princess, alright. He'll treat you right, laud you with riches and kisses and children. You'll settle into domestic servitude like a fat hen, you will, and preen your feathers as will be expected of you. He'll have you drunk off of the comforts of royal life and fine bedding-" Nadi gasped but Sadi ignored her. "And you will not know suffering. Nay, you will forget all about it and grow soft. Desolation, war, disease - you will know none of it as he holds you down with a firm and loving hand. But Kili, now-" Sadi paused to light her pipe. She took a few thoughtful puffs before speaking again. "That boy will crack you like an egg, bare your brains to the world. He will show you love and then take it so that you will come to know both fulfillment and absence. He will harden you, aye, and you will be liberated with understanding. Kili will not hold you back, see, he'll let you stand upon his shoulders so that you may see the morning light shining upon the valleys of what we call evil."

"Maybe I crave domestic servitude," Nadi said with her chin held high. She thought she sounded very brave, "Maybe I will rise and serve Erebor as a princess who understands these things."

"You're not fit to be a ruler, we both know it. You don't want it."

"I do !"

"Oh, please. Don't make me laugh. The only things you've ever shown interest in governing were the tadpoles in the river. Domestic servitude, Nadi? Queenly duties? I'll eat my trousers."

The sound of horns blaring reached them from beyond the chamber doors. It startled Nadi and she stumbled backward, tripping over her wide skirts as she did so.

"The party's started!" She cried as she wrenched open her doors. "By my beard, is it that time already? I'll be late-"

"-late to your very first formal engagement with the Prince Under the Mountain," Sadi sucked her teeth and shook her head. " Nadi ," she sang.

"Oh, what is it now, ma?!"

Sadi wiggled her tongue, crooked her fingers above her ears. "When he comes for you tonight, don't be afraid to do what the female spiders do: take the seed and then devour the head!"

Nadi said nothing to this and simply ran out the door.

X

Nadi found Fili lingering upon the stone balcony that opened up above the ceremonial chamber. He was dressed handsomely in a shimmering azure blouse and a black vest. His fur coat was dark in color and flushed neatly around his dark grey trousers as he held his arm out to her.

"Nadi," he said in a cordial voice.

"Fili," she took his arm and hurriedly smoothed down her hair, which she had freed from her tight braids on the way from her chambers. "What are you doing out here? The party's already started."

"I thought it would be appropriate if we made an entrance together. What's a prince without his dinner date?"

It was a social courtesy that she should have known to adhere to. But he hadn't phrased it in a reprimanding manner. They had been friends for many years. He knew her well enough to know that she would arrive late and bedraggled to his birthday party.

"Nice to see you in a dress, for once," he said as they walked towards the door.

"Nay," she said, untucking her undergarments from a rather uncomfortable position. "You mean it's amusing to see. I promise you this, Fili, if I ever become queen I will ban all dresses and make women wear trousers!"

"Don't you mean when you become queen," he asked quietly. She looked up at him and was unable to keep the hopelessness from creeping into her eyes. But his tone had been lighthearted and there was a jovial glint to his eyes. It was frightening, how much he reminded her of his brother sometimes. She inhaled deeply and then sighed, feeling every inch of breath escaping her lungs as he watched her with a lingering smile.

"Just not used to it yet," she muttered beneath her breath, unafraid to be honest with him. And why not? He could read her like a book, anyway.

Fili hmph ed and gave her a conspiratorial wink. He knew that she had been referring to the idea of being his queen but, with a masterful and courteous precision that she loved, he pretended as if she had simply been talking about wearing a dress. "Don't think I'd ever get used to it, either," he said as he led her towards the top of the staircase. "I'd be tripping left and right if I had to wear one. Now wouldn't that be amusing?"

"I'd just about die laughing, I think."

Already she could smell the feast that had been laid out in his honor. It brought to mind the images of flour-coated meat that used to sizzle in Sadi's pans. A heaping cup full of wine and a sprinkling of bay leaves made any meal palatable, she used to say. While she had been quick to leave Erebor behind, she hadn't quite been able to escape the calling of its unique recipes. With the smell of something so familiar and the residual laughter still quaking her shoulders, Nadi began to feel like everything would be alright, as if maybe she'd be able to hold out long enough for all of her worries to resolve themselves. That would show her mother. Anyway , she thought as she let her foot down upon the last step, marrying a prince can't be that bad, can it?

All faces turned towards them as soon as they turned the corner, and not all were friendly. Her breath caught in her throat and she instinctively stumbled backward, placing herself nervously behind Fili. She had never seen so many Houses gathered in one place before. The majority of the guests were men with a few female Dwarves of honor scattered amongst their rank. She had seen Dis settled comfortably between her brothers and a Dwarve named Dwalin, her arm looped carelessly along the back of the latter's chair. Dis's face had been animated, and full of a wicked enthusiasm for whatever was to happen next. Thorin's face had been grave but watchful when he met Nadi's eyes, his expression a mix of intrigue and pity.

But there were others, those who thought that Nadi was unfit to marry the young prince. She knew not their names but she knew their faces: older Dwarves who held her eye with disdain whenever she passed them by and muttered behind their long, grey beards. They picked and prodded at her with their eyes, no doubt dissecting her and her family line behind her back. Appraising her. "Gauging your worth," Sadi once said, "like they gauge the worth of merchants' jewels."

"But it's nice to be a jewel, isn't it, ma?"

Sadi had shaken her head. "You're not a jewel, lumpling. You're a chunk of amber: hardened sap made from the blood of the woodland trees. They've never seen something like you before."

Well! At that moment, with all eyes turned upon her, she wished that she was less amber and more jewel.

She spotted her mother at the farthest end of the table. She had her feet up on the polished stone and was blowing smoke rings at the ceiling, looking for all the world as if she was already unimpressed with the proceedings. Her old trousers and wrinkled shirt stood in stark contrast to Nadi's ceremonial attire.

There was a moment of tense silence in the hall before Thorin finally spoke. "The poor girl's probably never had a Dwarven feast before," he said, his voice ringing grandly through the hall. "Come, make room for her. Let us introduce her to a little bit of Erebor's famed hospitality."

There was a shuffling of chairs and scattering of murmuring. It was only when Fili took her by the elbow did she realize that she had been peering out from over his shoulder. As they walked towards the seats she thought she heard someone mutter the word 'whore' beneath their breath. The sound of it was like a knife in her lower back. She straightened her shoulders but kept her eyes downcast, searching their faces for the culprit.

Fili pulled a chair back for her and guided her into it with the grace of a true gentleman. It was only when they were seated did the conversations around them resume. She whipped her head back and forth, amazed by the sheer abundance of food surrounding her. There was meat of all kinds - smoked, boiled, fried and charred - along with freshly made bread, glass beacons of syrupy wine, thick wedges of potatoes fried and still dripping with salted oil, salmon with crispy skin but soft buttery flesh, eggs pickled with pepper and vinegar, plump golden grapes, sausage pricked through with bits of apple and dripping in maple, and glistening honeycombs sitting in silver dishes. She turned to Fili as he was filling his plate and asked, in a low voice, if she was supposed to have kissed him.

"If you have to ask," he responded in kind as he put a chunk of smothered lamb on her plate, "then the answer is probably no ."

Oh well. It was too late for regrets, anyway. She was already there. She picked nervously at the food on her plate while surreptitiously glancing around. The rest of the party was wolfing their portions down but some of them - like Thorin - were eating slowly, with gravitas. She decided to follow his example and took only the smallest of bites from between her fingers.

Is this what it's going to be like , she wondered as she watched the Dwarves around her, taking cues from others, trying to figure out how best to behave? The thought was harrowing. She'd much rather adhere to her own ideas of regality, the ones that she had learned from predators and monarchs of the forests. And so she lifted her head, threw her shoulders back, and chewed with abandon. She drank heavily - just as heavy as the men - and she caught Dis smiling at her from across the table.

"Oh, you'll do well, lassie," she said and Nadi's heart was filled with warmth. Then, to Fili, said, "she'll make a man out of you in no time."

Fili sputtered and quickly cleared his throat. The Dwarves around him laughed, but not at his expense. There was an unkind ring to it, like they were laughing at the idea of Fili being swayed by someone as feral as Nadi.

"Aye, she's a wild one for sure. Wild as the woods from where she was spawned," someone said. Sadi's nostrils dilated as she exhaled a particularly heavy stream of smoke.

"It's a wild world, then, isn't it," Balin said from farther along the table. "Soon it'll be only the wild ones who will be capable of managing it."

"There's woodland wild and then there's civil wild," Dwalin interjected. He took a heavy sip from his mug, eyeing her. He was one of the ones who didn't trust her, she could see it in his face.

She swallowed quickly and spoke without thinking. " Civil wild . It's a bit of a contradiction, isn't it? Who's to say one is better than the other? I've seen wild packs of dogs tear into each other with more civility than you lot."

All noises immediately stopped. Gloin's mouth fell open as he dropped his fork onto his plate. Thorin shook his head and braced his palm against his forehead.

"What did you say?" Thrain said. From the corner of her eye, she saw Sadi smile and lick her lips.

There was no backing out of it now. All eyes were on her. She had dug herself into a grave that only she could clamber out of. "I mean to say only this: I know what you think of me. You think that I'm odd and unfit and that I'll never learn your ways. And that may be true - but hear this! I was raised by the forest. It taught me its secrets and forced me to learn the ways of survival. Such a powerful force that you can never even imagine...I will not hear it slandered. I possess strength and abilities that you could never dream of, I've had my trial by fire. And it is because of this that I am capable and willing to learn the ways of this great kingdom! So please. Just...lend me your blessing and your patience. You will see that I have much to offer to your world and," she said, taking Fili's hand and looking into his eyes, "to you, Fili. I will do my best as your bride."

There was a gasp along the stone table. Though it was heavily implied that it was supposed to happen, Nadi and Fili hadn't yet formally declared their union. They had been pushed together by the pressures of Erebor. It hadn't been seen as fit for the coming Prince Under the Mountain to roam about with an unwed woman, not even in the presence of his brother. Most of the things that Fili did required deliberation and reason. Thus, if he was spending so much time with Nadi, well, only one reason was allowed. Otherwise, he risked a scandal. The people didn't like to think of their prince as a pied piper leading their women about by the nose. It didn't matter that Nadi was a woman from the forests. He was unwed, as was she. Whispers, urgings, and speculations trailed behind them until they could no longer ignore them. Fili had been the first to mention it. In a tone that hovered between jesting and serious, he had offered her a solution to what he called their 'little problem.'

Thus, it was purely politics which guided her hand as she placed it in Fili's that night. His hand shook in hers and it was cold, so cold that it made her uncomfortable. The moment was wrong, she felt the pressure of it building up along the edges of her skull like a headache. She wanted to scream, thrust his hand away, curse all the Dwarves at the table for throwing the bread into this proverbial circus.

But she couldn't. She had to be a good candidate for his courtship. Even though she had only ever loved him as a good friend.

Their eye contact broke. She yanked her hand away and surreptitiously wiped his sweat off on her gown. If such a simple gesture caused her so much repulsion, how was she to make it through the rest of the night? Sensing her unease, he dropped his hand and looked in the opposite direction, carefully masking his anguish beneath a guise of polite passivity.

Harsh clapping erupted from the end of the table. Sadi was grinning around the stem of her pipe and Nadi knew then that she would say something uncalled for. "Such a purdy image of true love," she said and Nadi grit her teeth. "I almost wanna paint a picture of it."

" Ma- "

There was a commotion at the doorway. For the second time that night, the Dwarves turned in their seats to face the newcomers. Kili swaggered from beneath the shadows of the doorway, followed by a group of haggard young Dwarves. His chest was bare beneath his fur coat and his bejeweled hair hung wild about strong shoulders. He raised his hands and gave an excited cry which was echoed by his crew. His teeth flashed white and strong in his grinning face. The sight of them made Nadi feel suddenly restless.

"Behold! The visage of a proud prince," he bellowed as he swayed along the table. He was drunk, all could see and smell it on him. He stopped behind Fili and dropped an unsteady hand on his shoulder. "Not me," he clarified to the crowd with a toss of his head. "No, no. I'm not quite suited for the task, as my mother is fond of reminding us all. But you!" He grabbed Fili around the neck and shook him dramatically before placing a clumsy kiss on his forehead.

Thorin was quick to intervene. He placed his hands on Kili and turned him around to face him. "What do you think you're doing," he hissed, so low that Nadi barely heard him. "Do you think we find your drunken antics funny?"

"Of course not, uncle," Kili said, shaking his head like a dog doused in water. As he did, Nadi noticed a few leaves dislodged from his hair and spiraled to the ground. She recognized their texture and shape immediately. So he's been in the western forest, she thought to herself. The thought made her jealous. She wished she could have been there with him.

Kili shrugged himself from beneath Thorin's grasp and stepped back. "I've only come to wish my one and only brother a happy birthday," he said before patting Fili heavily upon the shoulder. Fili buckled beneath his weight and winced in pain.

"And, also," Kili added quickly, "to congratulate his beautiful bride-to-be! Nadi. I wish you all the luck in the world."

"What's she need luck for?" Fili growled.

"For dealing with you, of course! I'm joking ! I'm only joking!" Kili said, turning to appease the outraged (though quite amused) crowd. Nadi hid her mouth behind her hand and giggled. There was something about Kili. He roused in them the spirit of festivity. With his wild hair, dark eyes, and careless bravado he reminded them all of a mythical warrior: the type who cleaved heads off of dragons and enchanted maidens in every town. It was okay for him to be like this, to a point. He wasn't the one on the verge of becoming a prince.

"Oh sit down before you fall flat on your arse," Balin said, pulling a chair out for him. Kili threw himself into it and immediately leaned back, surveying his world with satisfaction. But he leaned back a bit too far and ended up falling out of his chair. Nadi howled with laughter until the tears gathered on her lashes and she felt as if she would choke. Everybody was laughing as he struggled to sit up, his cheeks red with embarrassment beneath the glossy strands on his hair.

"Warned ya," Balin said as the rest of the Dwarves laughed. Even Thorin was chuckling, even though he had the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers and was shaking his head.

Nadi looked upon the enlivened scene and thought to herself that maybe - just maybe - they would have been more willing to accept her if she had come crashing through the doorway with Kili. Such an entrance would have better suited a woodland warrior.

x

Ending Notes: Random end of chaptr author thoughts...I had a hard time with Sadi (Nadi's mother) which is ironic considering the fact that I created her lol. On one hand, she's this fantastically powerful Dwarve who's strong-willed and strong-bodied. But's she's also a bit...unhinged, shall I say? It's hard to write a character who you don't agree with who's also not the villain of the story. She's just weird and not the kindest of mothers. But, alas, that's how she manifested when I was writing her.