A Glimpse of the Past...

At some point in the night, he wandered out into the hall and lit a pipe. He knew that she would come. There was only so much festivity and socializing that she could take before her reclusive nature took over and she'd find an excuse to break away.

The door to his right opened and she tumbled out. She closed it quickly and then pressed her back against the stone surface, her face glazed over with sweat and her eyes starry with drunkenness.

"Kili," she panted, "hi!"

"Hello!"

"What are you doing out here? Planning your next bout of mischief?"

"Me," he cooed in mock-offense. "I would never! Besides, why would I want to cause trouble on my brother's birthday? It's a bit cliche, don't you think?"

"Right, so, any other day is fair game. I'll be sure to keep my guard up, watch out for you."

"Please, woman, I think we'd both rather you didn't keep your guard up around me."

" Kili," she said in a warning tone. He put his hand to his chest and rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Right. I have to be careful now that I'm talking to a princess-to-be. Pardon me, my lady."

She chose not to respond to his playful jabs - they cut her deeper than he knew - and instead wrangled the pipe from his hands. The very first puff blurred her vision and cast a blanket over her senses. She put a hand to her head and grinned. Her world was spinning, but in a way that she was quite fond of.

"You naughty Dwarve," she said, peeking out at him from between her fingers. "This is no regular tobacco."

"Regular is for morons." He took his pipe back and placed the stem happily between his lips. He was glad that she was there. There was so much that he wanted to tell her about, like the sunrise that he had seen from beyond the hills, the strange mushrooms that he had found in the forests, and the crisp, cool taste of spring water that he had come upon beneath a secret waterfall that he had recently discovered. With Nadi, he could speak about these things freely without being seen as weak or a hopeless dreamer. The brazen way in which he crashed through life piqued her interest, but never her concern. This endeared her to him and made her union to his brother all the more difficult to bear.

Which is why he had gotten quite drunk that evening.

He stumbled and braced a hand against the stone wall. "Come with me," he slurred. His mouth felt dry and odd as if it were full of cotton. He noticed how she crooked her eyebrow at his words and shook his head. "Away," he said with difficulty. "To the forest."

"I can't. The party...I should go," she spun around and made for the door but he grabbed her arm.

" Should this and should that," he said, dragging her close to him. "Never before have I heard you worry over such things. My brother must be having a positive positive effect on you. Look at that dress! And is that...a little bump that I spy on your belly-"

"Kili, stop." The thought of having a child with Fili alarmed her. At least, the process of creating one did.

"Okay, I'm sorry. Haven't gotten to that part yet, I'm sure. Don't blame you for the hesitancy. He's an ugly one, that Dwarve."

"May Mahal strike you down for your treachery. Besides, what's the matter with my dress?!"

"It's just that I'd rather see you out of it - I mean, back in your regular clothes, the ones you wore in the forest!" Was he blushing? He felt his cheeks growing warmer. He hadn't meant to sound so forward but Nadi didn't seem particularly affected. She looked down at herself and scrunched her skirts in her hands, giving them an appraising swish around her boots. She seemed unsure of herself in it, and yet he found her beautiful all the same. For a moment, he envisioned her strolling through Dale in royal attire, stopping here and there to bestow pats on the children's heads with Fili on her arm. The image brought the rancid aftertaste of wine back into his throat and he heaved.

"Come on," he said suddenly. "I can't stand this place anymore."

"But-"

"What do you think you'll be missing?" He asked in a rough tone. Anger had risen within him, he could tell that she could see it. Practicing chewing with your mouth closed, he wanted to add, watching the way that you speak? Ruffling your skirts and laughing in the faces of those who do not trust you? But he said none of this. Instead, he swallowed his words and looked away. "Besides, they'll be on to the storytelling now," he said in a much gentler voice. "Balin's surely drunk enough. He'll be talking for a few hours, at least."

"Maybe I like hearing the stories!"

"Then allow me to tell you a new one." He took her face in his hands and fixed her with a mischievous gaze. He spoke in a low, dramatic whisper. It was the sort of voice that either got him into trouble or out of it, depending on his intentions. "I saw something in the forest that you would never believe."

"Try me, lad."

"It was a woman...but she lived in the river. Oh, Nadi, if only you could have seen her. Long hair like a storm brewing around her head, eyes deep and dark as a cavern, and skin smooth as silk beneath the still surface of the waters. Tadpoles darted left and right around her shadow, as if she was a warrior and they were her army. And then, imagine this, Nadi: stars wriggled and twinkled around her as if she had plucked them from the very sky. In fact, I'm sure that she stole them when none but her were looking. Drowned them all, one by one, with her cold, watery heart."

"Sounds like-"

He put his hand over her mouth. "Listen, starling. I reached out to touch her, for she was so beautiful that I had to know if she was real or not. But as soon as my fingers graced the waters she exploded into a million little crystalline slivers. It was her power, see. She could disappear at will!"

"I don't believe you!"

"I'm not lying, I swear. Come with me, and we shall find her together."

There was an explosion of laughter as someone opened the door. Perhaps embarrassed by their proximity, the two Dwarves moved away from each other and looked in the opposite directions.

"Eh?" A new voice said. "Nadi, Kili? Is that you?"

"Yes, ma," Nadi said. Sadi spotted the two Dwarves and gave them a broad grin.

"Up to no trouble, or do my tired eyes deceive me?"

"I was just about to take your daughter on a walk," Kili said, smiling grandly in response. He had always been fond of Nadi's mother. She was of the fiery sort who spoke her mind even when nobody asked for it. Plus she was quite handsome in an intimidating way, and could easily crush his skull between her calloused palms. He liked that in a woman. A mother I'd like to favor, if I've ever seen one, he thought to himself.

"Those strong legs were made for more than just walking, I'd reckon," Sadi said. The edge of her nostril twitched and she looked around until she spotted the pipe in Kili's hand. She swiped it and placed the stem comfortably in her mouth. The two young Dwarves could only watch in mute admiration as she filled her iron lungs to the brim, held the smoke in for quite a long time, and then exhaled a stream that blew the hair away from their faces. "You've been out here so long that the others have forgotten about you, Nadi. Balin's already gone off on some tangent about the merit of Dwarves back in his day, ya-ya-ya, good riddance, he can eat my trousers. It'll probably be morning before we come to the tail end of his tale. If I was a Dwarven princess-to-be trying to escape responsibility, I'd use this time to run off with a handsome lad and make the most of the starry night."

"That means you," Kili said with a wink and a nudge aimed at Nadi.

"But-"

"Don't!" Her mother put up her strong hand. It was a warning gesture. But the grip that Sadi placed on her upper arm was warm and quite comforting. "Don't do that man a disservice. Some wounds still ache, long after we think they've healed."

X

Nadi wasn't sure which brother Sadi was referring to, but she thought that she understood the message. She could marry Fili, sure, and spend the rest of her life trying to blend into the backdrop of his life. Perhaps she'd even succeed. But it wasn't what she wanted and, after a while, Fili would come to see it. They could pretend and let a scar bubble up over the truth of the matter but it would always hurt.

What of Kili, then? She didn't doubt that he'd be able to handle the matter on his own terms. If she married his brother, then Kili would lick his wounds, put it out of his mind, and find another to impress with his stories and affections. But she didn't want that. She wanted him. The thought of losing him and whatever they were on the brink of made her eyes smart.

Now, she buried her nose in his shirt and held him tighter. He smelled like the lavender that he strung through his hair, as well as the pine that he sometimes crushed up and rubbed along his neck and chest. Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly fancy, he chewed on a stick of cinnamon bark - a habit that she had picked up in secret. She breathed in deep and wondered at the smell of campfire lingering around on his skin. Had he been camping in the forests on the day of his brother's celebration? What drove you to keep your own company, she wanted to ask but she was falling asleep, lulled by the feel of him being so close and the ambling motions of the stout pony that they were riding into the forest.

"Are you falling asleep on me, starling?"

She yawned. "Perhaps. Is it morning yet?"

"Nay. The morning sun has a ways to go before it finds us. Here, listen."

He pulled out a circular wooden board interwoven with string and began to strum a few lazy notes. He began to sing. His voice was comfortable and clear, sliding with a breathless effortlessness between the higher and lower notes. The words to his song translated roughly to,

" Cast your line, O pretty girl

Into the lake of heaven's light

'Tis you who reels the warmth beyond

Into the black and sleepless night.

Cast your line, O sweet beloved

Into the pools of souls forgot

Reap your riches one by one

And in your trance, forget me not."

"Kili," she muttered into his hair. And then, "Kili, Kili, Kili."

"Have I gone rusty?" He asked.

"Quite the opposite. Your voice is as decadent as the evening's plum pie." She raised her head slightly and sighed. Her breath fluttered the baby hairs curling upon the back of his neck as she sang in a quiet voice.

" I'd cast my line for what is told

And only if these words are true:

I'd cast my line for riches, gold

And reel the richness that is you."

"Show-off," he teased. She was glad that he didn't speak on the nature of her response. The lyrics were composed in a bout of vulnerability, one that she was too tired to contest. Finally, after a few more hours of wandering, they reached the center of the forest.

"Here we are," he said, slipping off the back of the pony. He reached up with both hands and helped her off of the saddle. "Careful now," he said.

"So where is this river woman of which you speak?"

"She'll come around, sooner or later. Or maybe not. I get the sense that she's a fickle one."

"Perhaps we have a lot in common."

"Perhaps." He knelt by the edge of the river with his hand upon the knee. He scanned the waters intently as she moved to sit beside him. He had been kind enough to lend her a pair of his trousers and a simple black shirt. It was a few sizes too big for her but she loved it all the same. She'd give him hell if he tried to get it back.

"Look - there she is! Nadi, look!" He pointed across the river and she crawled forward on her hands and knees. Though she squinted, she couldn't see anything other than the swirling surface of the clear water. "Can you see her?"

"Nay."

"Lean in closer."

"If this is some trickery-"

"I swear to you that it is not. See, follow the tadpoles until you find her face."

She leaned in closer, her nose almost touching the water. Tadpoles darted left and right around her shadow. But there was nothing there, just her reflection surrounded by a halo of starlight prickling the water.

"Do you see her," Kili asked from behind her, a smile in his voice.

"Only my reflection."

"So you do see her!"

She paused. Then realization dawned on her. She scrambled up and launched herself at him.

" Kili!" She cried as she chased after him, weaving around tree trunks and flinging pebbles and twigs at his retreating figure. "You swindler! You liar! You gigantic, fumbling, silver-tongued oaf!"

"Words of yours sent back by fours ," he called back. He began to fiddle with his instrument as they ran back and forth, the wild and disjointed notes adding a comical appeal to their chase. He ended up back at the stream and tottered upon its banks for a moment before she reached out and pushed him in.

"Wallow in slime, filth!" She said triumphantly as he spit a stream of water into the air. His clothes and hair were drenched as he sat up and gazed at her with a delighted sort of surprise.

"Why don't you join me?"

He sprung forward and grabbed her ankle. She screamed and laughed as she was dragged, kicking and squirming into the water. Once there she pounced on him and pushed him back into the river. He was quick to resurface and return the favor. The sound of their tauntings and giggling rang through the forest as the water became dark with silt. His hair escaped from its clasp and spilled around his shoulders while the many silver ornaments in hers were lost in the slimy muck at the bottom of the pond. Drenched and freezing, they splashed about until laughter constricted their throats and made them cry out in high-pitched voices for surrender.

"Okay," she whined, "Okay! Okay! You win, you-"

He was sitting there, his legs outstretched before him as the water gathered around his chest. He was waving his hands lazily in an attempt to keep the fish from nipping at his bare arms. There was a smile on his face but it didn't reach his eyes.

He let himself down on his hands and crawled towards her slowly, the river muck squelching and sucking at his knees. His expression was changing. Inch by inch, he was beginning to look more serious. She could see the change in his strong brow and his mouth, slanting into a line, his eyes fixed and bright in the moonlight. He was handsome, more handsome than she had ever seen him before. He stopped when he was right in front of her and she reached out to touch his cheek, cradling it in her palm with reverence as if it was a blessing that would dissolve between her fingers.

"...you win," she repeated in a steady whisper as he leaned in to kiss her.

X

She found her way back to Fili's chambers a few hours later. The morning sun had begun to rise in a hazy mist along the trees of the forest. The air in his chamber was cool and smoky with incense and dancing candlelight. When she closed the door, a sense of stuffy dampness washed across her skin. Such was the very reason why she spent so much time away from the chambers of the mountain. Though the ceilings were high and polished, the rooms always felt constricting, like any minute they would close in upon her and crush her to pieces.

He was sitting at a small wooden table scattered with his discarded rings and bits of tobacco. She saw it in the reflection of the mirror hung upon the wall. His large fingers moved deftly as he rebraided the section of his beard hanging from the corner of his lips. He seemed engrossed in his work. No doubt he had heard her come in, but he made no move to show it.

She clutched her fingers behind her back and leaned against the closed door. Her clothes were still sopping wet from her bout in the river with Kili. They had parted ways only a few minutes earlier. They had stopped at his doorway and there he had kissed her again, in the shadows, and told her that he had always loved her and always would, no matter what she decided to do.

Now, she stood in Fili's chambers with the weight of treachery hanging heavy from her shoulders. By spending the night away from her husband-to-be during such an important event, she had committed a grievous and unforgettable offense.

"I recognize that shirt," Fili said. He sucked in his cheek and tilted his head as he admired the freshly braided strand of hair. He didn't seem upset nor hurt by her absence. At least, not that she could tell. "Kili's, isn't it?"

"Aye," she said. There was no use in lying.

"Well, I'm sure you two had a fun night."

Still, no sign of accusation or jealousy. His tone was bare, maybe even a little jovial, and this cut her like a whip. She hunched her shoulders, unsure of what to say.

He sighed and stood up. It was only when he was looming in front of her did she realize how tall he truly was. She wouldn't have stood a chance if he were to strike out at her. Indeed, she began to tremble in anticipation of a blow. But he didn't move. He was still, solid, immovable as a boulder. Only his eyes betrayed a slight sorrow that pulled at her heart. She had betrayed him. They both knew it.

"Nadi-" he raised his hand and, seeing as how she flinched, he quickly dropped it. "If you had asked, I would have taken you into the forest last night. Do not think that because I'm a prince I would have ignored your desires as a woodland warrior. I wouldn't've cheated you of your freedom as a strong, free-spirited woman. You would've come first, above anything else."

Would have, wouldn't've, would've. She did not miss the implication of him speaking in the past tense.

I am sorry. That's what she should have said. But she couldn't lie to him, she had done enough of that. She was not sorry to have given in to her desire to be with Kili. It had been liberating and exposed her to a world of possibilities that she had been yearning to have, ever since she had come to terms with loving the younger brother.

"I can't-" she tried. "I mean, I won't-"

He nodded, cutting her off. He didn't want to hear spoken what he already knew. He took a deep breath in, filling his lungs, before sighing again and looking away from her. Then he smiled.

"Perhaps it's the hair. I was thinking of staining it black, once before. Maybe then it would have all worked out."

She giggled in relief, glad that he was willing to make light of the matter. "It would have looked atrocious on you."

"Aye, maybe my strength comes from being blond. Even though it isn't enough for you. Nadi," he looked back down at her with the warm smile still playing around his lips. "I will always cherish you as a good friend."

"The same to you, dear prince."

"Go. Now. I have royal things to do like combing my pretty hair and practicing eating with a steady hand and telling boring, ol' stories like Balin."

"You blaspheme. Balin tells fantastic stories...if you're drunk enough."

"And here I thought you and my brother had run off to escape his stories. Ignorance truly is bliss. Go on, get out of here."

"Fili-"

"Nadi."

"...thank you. For understanding." She stood on her tiptoes, braced her hands against his chest, and gave him a gentle kiss on his temple before turning and walking away.

X

Ending Notes: "A mother I'd like to favor, if I've ever seen one..."

Y'all. Kili just straight up called Sadi a MILF and didn't even know it. Someone call the Content Cops, please.