A/N I'm sorry about the long delay. I have no real excuses for you besides work and school. Oh and writers blocks. It can be a little frustrating when you know where you want to be but you don't know exactly how to get there. I have my last chapters partially written but it's not a straight path to follow. I hope I'm forgiven. Enjoy.

Part 5

Passage of Time

There are times when you can watch the milliseconds go by. Then there are times when you blink and you wonder where the weeks, months, years have gone. No matter how much time passes it leaves you wondering how much more you can endure.

I have found that I am someone different, someone new. It's like the change after Lily died. I ceased being that person. I couldn't be her any more. My personality had been irrevocably altered. I had no control over then and I have no control over it now.

As it turns out Rory has been a great alley here at Yale. She is an endless source of information. Granted not always what I'm looking for but at least she can hold an intelligent conversation. Sometimes that's all you need.

Although, I trusted the Gilmore Girls for 'Al's grab bag night' I have to admit even though it was absolutely the most disgusting thing I've ever attempted to eat. It was a great success. I'm still puzzling out that combination of Polynesian, Mexican, Japanese, and Italian. Was that Dim Sum with marinara sauce? Yikes! But if you go to Al's Pancake World for international cuisine inevitably you get what you pay for…gross.

It was my first weekend at Yale University and I had my mind taken off everything else. When you're spending time with the like of Lorelai Gilmore it's hard not to pay attention. She's a real attention grabber. It's weird. I think I've been giving off a vibe she has picked up. After that first night I was invited back. I accepted with reservation but it has been a comfort. I needed a parent to hold my hand through some of this. This is the first time I've been without Dad. Wallace has been on my mind constantly. Then on top of everything else school work has been mind boggling at times. It was becoming a mountain and I am just a miniscule spec at the bottom of it.

I get through everything well enough but the occasional lunch and weekend spent with the Gilmores has been something I needed. I don't speak to a lot of people. Some of the people I do speak to try my patience beyond even that of Logan Echolls. I never thought that was possible. It is unbelievable how many stupid people are allowed to attend an Ivy League school.

Everything is great except the fact I can't get a full night of sleep. When I close my eyes the dreams start. If it's not Lily's body being carried away, it's my mom running out on us with anything valuable, or Aaron Echolls' sinister voice in my head calling my name, or the Neptune High Bus Crash I was supposed to be on. I'm haunted and I don't know how to stop it. I feel like a crisis waiting to happen and it weighs heavily on my shoulders. I don't ever remember being this jumpy before Lily died. But then again I hadn't had any attempts on my life back then.

I've been having new dreams of Dad getting shot during an investigation and of Wallace not coming home. These are ones which shake me up the most. However, the dream haunting my night these days are of Aaron Echolls. Aaron Echolls is being released because the jury feels the evidence doesn't prove a reasonable doubt. He's free now and I and afraid.

"Veronica?"

At the sound of her name she jolted back into reality. She had a fork in her hand and she was momentarily confused. She looked around to see Rory and Lorelai Gilmore watching her. She was sitting at their kitchen table. It finally dawned on her that she had completely zoned at the table. She shook the fuzz from her brain. "I'm sorry", she told them weakly.

"Sweetie, you look totally wiped out", Lorelai told her with a trace of concern in her voice.

"Come on you can lie down in my room", Rory told her.

"No it's okay. I'm okay", Veronica told them unconvincingly.

"I don't think so. Its okay I'm used to this. Rory does the same thing. She forgets to schedule sleep in between school, the newspaper, and work. We're going to do B rated movie night", Lorelai waved her hand indicating Rory and herself. "And you, my dear, are going to sleep."

Lorelai followed by Rory had already guided Veronica from the table towards the room adjacent to the kitchen. They walked into the room with walls lined with books and an inviting bed in the middle of everything. Someone had already pulled the blankets down. Veronica couldn't fight it. It was no use the Gilmores were right. She sat down heavily on the bed feeling defeated. Unexplained tears sprang to her eyes, "God, I am so tired."

"I know, Honey", Lorelai said push gently on Veronica shoulder. "Now, go to sleep."

"No I can't", Veronica said quietly trying to fight it but her eyelids were too heavy to keep open. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was asleep.

Veronica was unaware of how much time had passed. It her dreams she bound by the stillness of time. She was trapped inside a refrigerator pounding her fists ineffectually again its sides. "DAD!" she screamed. "I'm in here. Dad! Help me!" The smell of the gas and the sound of the fight outside filled her senses. "DAD! HELP ME PLEASE!"

"Veronica", someone calling her name broke into her brain. Suddenly she was no longer inside her prison but in a strange room with white walls and book filled shelves. She was soaked with sweat and breathing heavily. There was someone sitting next to her. A hand lightly touched her shoulder. In panic she nearly fell off the trying to escape.

A familiar voice spoke soothingly, "Sweetie, take it easy. It was just a dream. I promise I won't hurt you." When Veronica finally looked over there were two people next to her. She started to cry. Lorelai Gilmore being the closest to her pulled her into a hug. Veronica sobbed uncontrollably into the woman's shoulder. Rory looked uneasy as she silently backed out of the room.

"I don't want to dream. I don't want to dream any more", she repeated desperately.

Lorelai continued to hold Veronica until the she was able to gain control again.

"I'm sorry", Veronica said quietly.

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Everyone feels like that sometimes, Hun."

"Most people are able to snap out of it. Too much has happened and I'm spinning out of control. On top of everything I'm so tired I can barely think straight. I'm starting to think coming here wasn't such a good idea on my part."

"What do you mean, Sweetie? Are you talking about Connecticut?"

Veronica nodded, "yeah. I was so desperate to get out a California. I thought I could escape it all. I'm finding out it just followed me."

The two women jumped at the shrill ring of a cell phone. "Shit", Veronica whispered under her breath. "That's going to be my Dad", she said pulling the phone from her pocket.

"Hi, Dad."

"Who's your daddy?" he said jovially.

"You know I hate it when you say that."

"Hey, kid. How's it going in the Ivy League?"

"Everything thing is fine", there was a slight quaver in her voice she tried to cover up to no avail by clearing her throat.

"What's that tone I'm hearing? Is everything really fine?"

"Yeah, everything is great. I already have dibs on my own ivy covered street corner and everything", she was trying to sound calmer than she felt at the moment.

"You're still having those dreams, aren't you?" he said gently. He saw right threw her.

"Dad, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Veronica…"

"Dad, please."

"Okay, Sweetie. But please talk to someone."

"Alright, I will…so what's going on any new cases?"

"The usual. Drug dealers, adulterers, bail jumpers, murder suspects…"

"Been busy, huh?"

"Veronica…"

"Dad, I already heard about Aaron. He doesn't know where I am. Everyone pretty much assumed I was going to Stanford. I never corrected them. I guess with money and power I'm easy enough to find but why would he?"

"You put him away."

"He put himself away. I did nothing besides my testimony meant anything. It was all obviously a figment off my imagination."

"Veronica, he tried…"

"DAD! I know what he tried to do! It's imbedded into my brain forever…" she cut him off blowing up unexpectedly. It was an irrational anger tinged with biting fear.

"I'm sorry Sweetie", he said sounding hurt.

"No, that was uncalled for. I'm sorry, Dad. I guess I'm a little tense these days. I haven't been sleep well", I need to calm down. I can't let any of this tear us apart. I need him to get through this besides he's the one who loves me unconditionally.

"I know, honey. Why don't you get some rest and I'll call you later. I love you."

"I love you too."

Veronica hung up the phone then lay back against the pillows. Dad loves me I know but everything has potential to irritate me. Maybe I do need to talk to someone. I hate the thought of it. Having my head shrunk by the likes of Ms. Adams was bad enough. She was able to catch me with my guard down. It still amazes me. I don't usually invite a stranger into my head. Maybe it's time for it. It's not a very comforting thought especially if drugs might be factored into the equation. Well no need to dwell on it now after all B movie night with the Gilmore Girls.

She climbed off the bed heading toward the sound of the TV. "What's playing?" she asked as she entered the living room.

They smile as she makes herself at home with a bowl of popcorn shoved into her hands. The two fought to be heard as the simultaneously began giving a run down of the story plot.Then finally they simply began a running commentary. Reevaluating my earlier thought, I was wrong about coming here. I need to give it time and with friends like these I'm willing to bet there is no better place to be.