Sorry it took so long to put this chapter on and stuff... I was grounded off the phone and the internet for two whole excruciating weeks... hee he! I'm a real bad girl, I defy the law baby! Actually, this is the first time I've been grounded in about six or seven years and all because I walked to the local Ice Cream shop down the interstate! I know why I was grounded, it wasn't a responsible thing for me to do because I could have got hit by a car or something like that – but all I cared about was going to see my friends. Ha, I'm a friggin' goody two-shoes... and you can't guess how much I hate that! But I love my dear Mother too much to really act out, you know?
Okay... this second one will go all the way to where... I have no clue how far into the story this one will go actually... many the end and maybe not.
On with the show
Wicked: Unplugged... again
The Old Crazy Goat... erm, I mean... Doctor Dillamond's classroom
Fiyero: Who can I hit on and flirt shamelessly with today? (Glance around at all the girls... and some of the hotter guys... and finally spots Elphaba as she walks in with all her emerald spender with Galinda's pink flower in her hair) Eh, it works well enough for me. She'll do for the day I suppose.
Student passing by: Fiyero, what about Galinda?
Fiyero: Galinda's not here now is she? And what Glinda doesn't know can't hurt her or damage her over inflated ego.
Student: Good point Fiyero. Oh well screw morality then, if you put it that way… Carry on then Fiyero... (Walks away so Fiyero can pursue Elphaba)
Elphaba: So then I toss my hair like this and next smile like this... I'm a giant green Barbie doll... (Sees Fiyero looking at her) What? Do I have something caught in my teeth again?
Fiyero: Hey there you gorgeous thing you! (Elphaba looks behind herself) Ha, very funny darling! Yes, I'm talking to you Elphaba, you beautiful green stem-like thing you are! You look kind of different today.
Elphaba: Yeah, I noticed that too.
Fiyero: Galinda brainwashed you and forced you into her blonde-headed ditzy zombie cheerleader shopp-o-holic cult didn't she?
Elphaba: Well I – (blinks rapidly, confused) WHAT!
Fiyero: Nothing, never mind that last comment. So yeah um, what's up?
Elphaba: NOTHING! (Extremely annoyed with Fiyero at this point) don't you have anyone better to chatter aimlessly with besides me?
Fiyero: Uh, no actually I don't.
Elphaba: Oh. Well, class is starting bye! (Goes to her seat, Fiyero follows and pushes the guy sitting in the desk next to her out of it) You're going to follow me around all the time now aren't you? (Fiyero nods his head vigorously) Oh well, at least you aren't a blonde with more annoying fashion tips for me to try out.
Fiyero: You're talking about Galinda aren't you?
Elphaba: Aren't you a bright one. Yes, I was talking about G-A-L-I-N-D-A.
Fiyero: (Trying to work out what Elphaba spelled) you were talking about garbage?
Elphaba: No, I wasn't talking about – yeah Fiyero. I was talking about garbage giving me fashion tips.
Student passing by: That would explain a lot! (Everyone but Elphaba and Fiyero laughs... so not technically everyone)
Fiyero: That was mean.
Elphaba: You get used to it after a while.
Fiyero: Really? You do?
Elphaba: No, you don't. (Madame Morrible walks in with an two Ozzian officials who shoot Doctor Dillamond with a tranquilizer dart and then drags him away) Holy crap what's going on? Since when can you people just shoot people with tranquilizer darts?
Fiyero: Silly Elphaba, we've always been able to do that, it's just frowned upon. (Madame Morrible walks out with one of the Oz officials)
Left over Oz Official: Okay let me be a jerk and teach you about a cage. (Pulls out a cage with a lion cub inside it) Go on, poke it with something.
Elphaba: Stop it! (Everyone goes loopy except Fiyero, Elphaba, and the lion cub... so once again checking the definition of 'everyone' in the dictionary we see in truth not everyone went loopy) Um, okay that works too. Not exactly 'freeze' but its good enough for the time being. (Grabs the cage and runs with it) You wanna come?
Fiyero: (Looks around at all the other students acting like sad little monkeys) Yeah, I think I'll come with you... no one's picking bugs out of MY hair! (Runs out with Elphaba) Coming! Hey, wait up would you?
Switch to the edge of the forest where Elphaba and Fiyero let the lion cub go. Fiyero has just become a spineless jellyfish and run off with Galinda... or should I say garbage?
Elphaba: Now I think I will just sit here in the rain under a tree and sing about how much it sucks to have your heart broken but insensitive guys now I guess until the rain stops anyways so I can go home instead of sitting under s friggin' tree...LalalaFiyeroreallysuckslalalaGalindaalwaysgetswhatshewantslalala... okay I'm done.
Madame Morrible: (walks in suddenly) Go see the stupid Wizard already would you? This is taking forever! Here, I'll even pay for the train ticket if you'll just go!
Elphaba: Fine! I'm going! (Slouches out)
Switch to train station; Elphaba and Galinda are standing on a platform
Glinda: Goodbye strange weird green friend of mine! (Galinda sobs into a pink hanky) Have fun in the Emerald City without me... LUCKY!
Elphaba: Goodbye self-obsessed Barbie-like friend of mine who took the 'A' out of her name because she could! (Hugs Glinda as Fiyero runs up) Oh hey Fiyero my prince-of-a friend with a scandalous reputation as Glinda here would say.
Fiyero: Okay... here you go Elphaba these are for you. (Hands Elphaba flowers as Glinda watches confused) This is awkward with Glinda here so... BYE! (Runs out as fast as possible)
Glinda: Oh my God! There's another woman, I just know it! Who do you think it is Elphaba?
Elphaba: (Giggles nervously) I have no idea who it could be.
Glinda: Maybe if I dyed my hair another color...
Elphaba: (Under her breathe) Like black...
Glinda: Or maybe if I changed my skin tone...
Elphaba: (Still under her breathe) Like to green...
Glinda: Did you say something?
Elphaba: (Not under her breathe this time) Uh, no I didn't say anything. You must be hearing things again Galinda like the time you thought the toast was talking to you but it was actually Boq hiding under the table trying to have a conversation with you, remember that? Well then, wanna go to the Emerald City with me?
Glinda: Um, sure I've always wanted to go shopping there! (Jumps on the train with Elphaba)
Switch the Emerald City streets where Glinda and Elphaba have just arrived
Glinda: Hey Elphaba, wanna sing about how total awesome this place is with me? Maybe we could get some of the locals to join in and have a giant street fair like thing?
Elphaba: No, but do I really have a choice in this Glinda?
Glinda: of course not silly, I just ask so I seem nicer! (Glinda starts singing. Elphaba sighs and then joins in. The local's who missed Glinda's previous comments join in anyways along with the ones who did hear Glinda's last comment) Hey, it worked!
Elphaba: Figures. (Guard walks over to them and tells them the Wizard wants to see them in his bachelor pad) Okay, come on Glinda! We're going to see the Wizard!
Glinda: Are you serious? He sounds so boring! Let's do something fun!
Elphaba: (thinking quickly as she can with Glinda bouncing and flouncing and doing anything else she could think of that ended with 'ouncing') Well, the Wizard wants to meet us at an awesome collage student party with lots of hot guys with their shirts off who all wanna dance with you... does that work?
Glinda: Heck yes it works! Outta my way, I gotta party to go to! (Drags Elphaba along after the guard who leads them to a building so not meant for parties. Glinda notices nothing... as usual) is this it? (Elphaba and the guard nod) Alright then, let's go Elphaba my green friend! The boy's are waiting for ME... I mean US! Wait, what am I saying? They are so totally waiting for me! (Grabs Elphaba by the arms and leads her into the Wizard's room... where there is NO PARTY! OH MY GOD, IMAGINE THAT!)
Giant Floating Head known as the WIZARD: All hail me! Bow down before me and tell me what the heck you two are doing here! NOW!
Elphaba: I came all the way to the Emerald City to get yelled at? No way! I could have called my Father if I wanted that or better yet – stayed at Shiz! Stupid floating head!
Giant Floating Head: You must be Elphaba! Madame Big Butt... um... Madame Morrible said you'd be coming today. (Frail looking old geezer comes out from behind the floating head) Hello there, I'm the REAL wonderful Wizard of Oz.
Glinda: Gross! It's old and wrinkly and far from wonderful! Um, I mean... gorgeous and handsome and really wonderful! And I swear I'm not sucking up... okay maybe I am but does it matter really?
Elphaba: So what's the business proposition? I better get a business proposition after how long it took to get here and how many stupid musical numbers I had to sing in on the way!
Wizard: How about do my magic for me? Here, hold my magic book like this and try to make this money fly. (Elphaba does just that and the monkey flies around the room) And I take all the credit and no one knows you exist... but you get great benefits and all holidays off.
Elphaba: Um, how about no?
Wizard: Great, Morrible sent me another freethinker! GUARDS GET RID OF THE GREEN GIRL-LIKE THING!
Elphaba: For calling the guards on me I'm stealing this magic book with a name no one can pronounce so even if they catch me they aren't sure if it's the right book or not and flying away on the janitor's broom to a place where you'll never find me like Chicago, there's a lot of people in Chicago! I plan to cause chaos and free Animals throughout the countryside to stir up a rebellion! Ha, catch me now suckers! (Flies away with the book just like she says and does exactly like she says she will... exactly down to the last letter even... and the last letter is an 'S' but the way so down to the very last 'S')
Switch to somewhere in Oz where Glinda is standing on a platform with Fiyero who is dressed like a prissy pants and Madame Morrible is dressed like someone with a huge butt. Yeah, right down there! Look right there, see it?
Glinda: Hey everyone, while the Witch aka Elphaba the green girl is out destroying Oz I'm having a party and you're all invited! Oh, and Fiyero and I are getting married!
Fiyero: We are?
Glinda: Of course silly! Just smile and wave Fiyero, SMILE AND WAVE! Good boy.
Fiyero: I don't get married. At least not to you Glinda.
Madame Morrible: Too bad pretty boy, I already ordered the cake!
Fiyero: Well, if you already ordered the cake... (Gives in to marrying Glinda)
Crowd's person: The Witch is so wicked! Did you hear what she did now? She took away the free gift with purchase! Now you just purchase things without getting a gift!
Rest of the crowd: Oh no! Not the gift, anything but the gift! (The women sob uncontrollably over their lost gifts)
Fiyero: I just hate how mean they are. Elphaba would never really do that! She LOVES the free gifts she gets when she purchases something. I'm going to stomp off in a fit on misplaced rage. (Stomps off in a fit of misplaced rage)
Glinda: Alright dear, be back in time for dinner! (To assembled crowd) You know how those Winkie princes get, they need timeouts. Anyways, you all can go back to worshiping me, okay?
Munchkins and other assembled people pretending to be Munchkins so they could see Glinda: Alright! (Clears throats) we love you Glinda! You're so awesome! Yay Glinda! We love you so much Glinda!
Glinda: I love being me!
()()()()()()Page Break! Yay!
Will Fiyero be back in time for dinner? Will someone figure out to pronounce 'The Grimmerie' I just did, huh. I actually have a copy of the Grimmerie my grandmother bought for me when we went and say Wicked last year. It's awesome! Lots of cool stuff inside including the script to the show! Yay!
Hope you liked this chapter. The next one will go all the way to the end of the play... I think... no, I KNOW! Mwahhahhaa! (Evil laugh for you there folks!) Review please and no hate-mail... or at least not a lot of hate-mail.