Disclaimer- I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Diana Wynne Jones, who is totally rockin'. But if I did, more would be band geeks. So please don't sue me, because I would like to keep my band music. Oh, ok, you can have "Chorale and Shaker Dance II" cuz that's a stupid song.

Well, the author forgets what the stuff in Spanish said. She thinks it said something about aliens tagging every planet in the galaxy, but she's not completely sure. So, we'll just continue like nothing happened.

"You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge, in pursuit of that wish, which till now has been silent, silent . . ." sang Mitt.

"Wait, wait, wait-which part of the story am I in?" asked the Author. She gets confused a lot, so this is completely normal and NOT a drill. "Dalmark Quartet people go over there-" she pointed left-"Chrestomanci Quartet, go that way-" she pointed right-" and everyone else, DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!" So they did the chicken dance, as the Chrestomanci and Dalmark people got mad because they didn't get to do the chicken dance.

"I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge - in your mind you've already succumbed to me dropped all defences completely succumbed to me - now you are here with me: no second thoughts, you've decided, decided . . ." sang Mitt. "Past the point of no return - no backward glances: the games we've played till now are at an end . . . Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend . . .What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us . . .? Past the point of no return, the final threshold - what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return . . ."

"You have brought me to that moment where words run dry, to that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence . . .I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why . . .In my mind, I've already imagined our bodies entwining defenseless and silent - and now I am here with you: no second thoughts, I've decided, decided . . . Past the point of no return - no going back now: our passion-play has now, at last, begun . . . Past all thought of right or wrong - one final question: how long should we two wait, before we're one . . .? When will the blood begin to race the sleeping bud burst into bloom? When will the flames, at last, consume us . . .?" sang Maewin, as Mitt played his cwiddler.

"Wait, when did we start singing from the Phantom of the Opera?" asked Kankrendin.

"SHH! We're singing!" Yelled Mitt. "Past the point of no return the final threshold - the bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn . . . We've passed the point of no return . . ." he and Maewin both sang together.

And now, we will check up on our friends from the Chrestomanci Quartet.

"Automatic supersonic hypnotic funky fresh, Work my body so melodic, This beat flows right through my chest, Everybody ma and pappi came to party, Grab somebody, Work your body, work your body, Let me see you 1,2 step!" Janet was singing. She and Angelica were singing "1, 2, Step" by Missy Elliot and Ciara. Janet was being Ciara, and Angelica was Missy. Of course.

"If you've never heard that song, go listen to it. Right now," said the loveable Author.

"Rock it, don't stop it, everybody get on the floor crank the party up, we about to get it on, let me see ya 1, 2 step I love it when ya1, 2 step everybody 1, 2 step we about to get it on!" they both sang.

"I shake it like jello, make the boys say hello, cause they know I'm rockin' the beat, I know you heard about a lot of great MC's, but they ain't got nothing on me, because I'm 5 foot 2, I wanna dance with you, and I'm sophisticated fun, I eat filet mignon, and I'm nice and young, best believe I'm number one (oh)" sang Angelica on her solo

"Whoo-hoo!" yelled Tonio from the audience. He'd been in love with Angelica for some time, and even though he'd told no one, every one knew except for him and Angelica (a/n: do I sense some upcoming Fluff?). Just your typical love story.

So they're all having fun in their musical lives, and so are the Dalemark people. So let's go see what the "others" are doing, shall we?

"Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee, lousy with virginity, won't go to bed till I'm legally wed, I can't, I'm Sandra Dee," sang Mig

"Watch it, hey, I'm Doris Day, I was not brought up that way, won't come across, even Rock Hudson lost his heart to Doris Day." That right there was Kathleen singing, and wow. No comment on that from the Author.

"Don't drink or swear, I won't rat my hair, I get ill from one cigarette, keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers. Would you pull that crap with Annette?" Lana (a/n: she's still Lana. I'm too lazy to change her name) sang in a graceless solo.

"As for you, Troy Donahue, I know what you wanna do. You got your crust, I'm no object of lust, I'm just plain Sandra Dee" Mig sang again.

"Elvis, Elvis, let me be, keep that pelvis far from me. Just keep your cool, now you're starting to drool," Kathleen sang again, holding that last note longer than she was supposed to.

"Hey, fungu, I'm Sandra Dee!" They all sang together.

And that, my friends and readers and whatever else you are, is what happens when you combine Diana Wynne Jones.

And this week's/month's episode was brought to you by TOFU! Has anyone seen those kick-rump stickers from PETA? I want one on a shirt. I'm going to cover my binder in them ;-).

Chandra