Fili sat alone in the dining hall, surrounded by the remnants of his wedding party. Earlier that morning, he had given the order for Nadi and Kili to be locked up in the makeshift torture chamber. The hours that passed following his decision had felt like days, and he had found himself petrified with anxiety. So morose was his mood that even Khurza had left him and, unbeknownst to Fili, had set in motion a shocking change of events.
But he had no way of knowing that. His mind had been consumed with images of his brother hanging from a beam and Nadi chained to the wall. He regretted every second that he sat there cowering in shame, and yet did not have strength enough to release them from the chamber. He was scared of what he would find if he went down there: Nadi and Kili torn and bloodied like limp rags between the teeth of Khurza's hounds. And so he sat in limbo, the crown hanging dejectedly from his head and his palms covering his face, feeling a magnificent weight upon his chest despite the absence of tears. At some point, he'd be forced to leave the dining hall and face what he had done. But that time was long in coming. Several times the thought of ending his own life with the crusted-over knives on the table crossed his mind. But, despite picking them up and holding them trembling to his neck, he could not do it.
Ruling a kingdom was supposed to be an honorable and pride-worthy thing, but instead, he felt as if everything had swiftly spun out of his control. Maybe he was never meant to be a king, maybe he was only ever bred to be a prince in waiting.
The doors to the dining hall suddenly burst open with a loud 'clang' that made him jump. He could only watch in mute stupidity as Nadi and Kili stormed into the room with a cloaked figure between them. It was impossible for them not to have seen him, and yet they ignored him as they helped the veiled figure into a chair and whispered amongst themselves. Two large hands appeared from beneath the cloak and Fili recognized the stately mannerisms before the man had even revealed himself.
"What-?" He said in alarm as Thorin cast him an uninterested glance. Kili retrieved a bowl of water and a few towels as Nadi pried the bloodied cloth from Thorin's shoulder and looked closely at the wound. All three of them were muddied and bedraggled, with Thorin seeming to have received the worst of the wounds.
Fili jumped out of his chair. The unsettling scraping of wood upon the stone floor made Nadi, Thorin, and Kilii glance up at him with identical expressions of annoyance before resuming their tasks. Thorin grimaced and took a long pull from a random mug as Nadi washed his wounds and Kili hovered behind him.
"Thorin!" Fili exclaimed and his uncle looked up at him with the same look of cold disinterest. "How…why-"
"Sit down and shut up, in that order," Thorin growled. "Nadi and Kili have told me all that has transpired since you assumed sovereignty over Lake-Town. I am disappointed in you."
"Dissa-" Fili repeated in shock and then immediately stopped himself. He didn't know what Thorin was doing there or how Nadi and Kili had escaped their imprisonment - in fact, he had no idea what was going on at all. But he did know that these words were true: he was now a king and he couldn't let his fear of Thorin's disappointment cow him anymore. Slowly, never breaking eye contact, he adjusted the crown on his head with a self-righteous air and flushed his cape around his shoulders. "I have become a king," he said in what he hoped was a calm voice. "I thought that's what you've always wanted."
"You've become a cruel tyrant-"
"To hear them tell it-!"
"Do not raise your voice at me, Fili. You know better." Thorin leaned forward with his elbows braced upon the table and his fingers interlocked beneath his chin. There was a tiredness in his eyes that he could not hide, and this brought Fili a sick sense of satisfaction. "You strung your brother up by his wrist above a pack of wild dogs and chained Nadi to a wall. There is no other way to 'tell it.' What has become of you, to make you so wicked? I did not raise you this way."
"And yet our actions are not so dissimilar," Fili was quick to point out. "Weren't you the one who threatened Nadi's life upon the bridge, not too long ago? What have you to say to this, dear uncle?"
Thorin dipped his chin and peered over at Nadi. She held his gaze for a moment before biting her lip and looking away. "Only that I have purged my heart of its evils and pledged myself to mending that which was wronged," he said slowly. "Judging by the manner in which you speak, you have not done the same. I see in your face that there is no remorse, only misplaced pride."
"Remorse?" This time, Fili couldn't keep the disbelieving tone from rising in his voice. He chuckled, but his brow remained tense as he shook his head. "You would step into my kingdom and ask that I show remorse? For what? I have done nothing wrong!"
"Fili…" Thorin said. Fili ignored him and laughed loud enough to make Nadi and Kili wince at the sound of lunacy echoing through the room. Never before in his life had he so brazenly challenged his uncle. He felt both parts delirious with power and shamefully unhinged as he began to pace along the floor, ticking off the points of injustice upon his fingers.
"And so they said that I was cruel," he said in a strained voice, no longer sure if he was speaking to himself or Thorin. "So be it! But what of their cruelty? Kili - my very own brother - sneaking around behind my back and consorting with the woman that I had married! Did he tell you about that? And then Nadi - quaint, unassuming Nadi - thinking that she could use me as a puppet for her personal gain, claiming that my rise to power was my due right when in truth she only ever desired to work me from the shadows, prodding and poking and twisting my mind to her benefit. Oh yes - I became the Master of Lake-Town but she! She was the snake wrapped around my neck, hissing venomous insinuations and urgings into my ear since the beginning! Were it not for her, I would have never left the damned mountain!" He kicked the leg of the table and relished in the throbbing pain that shot up his leg.
"Fili-" Thorin said again, rising slowly from his seat. Fili quickly backed away and regarded them all with wild eyes, feeling very much like an animal trapped in a circle of prey.
"And you, Thorin! Why come now, of all times? Sauntering into my dining hall and expecting me to kneel before you with remorse…telling me to sit down and shut up and lower my voice…am I but a child to you? Do you think that the crown that I wear is some foolish ornament that you can take from me? Becoming King Under the Mountain was just not enough - you had to extend your greedy reach and come and take Lake-Town, too! You think that because you're my mother's brother I will relinquish this land and wither beneath your shadow like a frightened dog?"
"Fili, calm down!" Nadi cried in exasperation. There was something pitying in her voice that enraged him and he overturned the table with a roar. Plates, cups, and cutlery went clattering across the floor in a magnificent cacophony as he stood there with his fists balled.
"I WILL NOT!" He screamed back at her. His face felt as if it had been set aglow with a thousand embers and he knew then that he must have turned red. The three Dwarves were staring at him as if he was a rabid animal set loose in their midst, and this made him sick with aggravation. Kili was moving towards him slowly, his face set in deep concentration as he approached. Without hesitation, Fili grabbed a mug off the floor and flung it at him with all of his might. Kili dodged it quickly, and then quickly stepped to the side as Fili threw a plate at him.
"Ma tûmbaz! Do…not…approach me," he warned him. He had gone mad now and was throwing everything within reach at his brother. Kili crossed his arms over his face and deflected the incoming objects with an ease that infuriated Fili greatly. "I said get back, you filthy animal!"
Suddenly, Kili lunged at him and wrapped both arms around him. Fili grimaced as he pressed his hands upon his brother's chest and attempted to push him away, but Kili was stronger. He squeezed him tight - almost crushing him in his hold - and then put both hands on his face.
"What are you doing!? Unhand me!" Fili yelled in his face, but Kili would not let go. His dark brown eyes sought out Fili's and trapped him in a gaze full of love and, unexpectedly, understanding.
"I forgive you," he said in a strong voice as Fili wriggled against him. "Do you hear me, brother? You are forgiven."
"I said unhand me! I said-" Fili couldn't help it. The tears were beginning to cascade along his face as he thrashed, growing weaker and weaker with every movement. A warm pressure slunk along his lower back and he realized that Nadi had come up and embraced him from behind. She pressed her cheek against the back of his shoulders and clasped her hands along his waist.
"You are loved," she said in a soft, muffled voice. "You are not lost, you are loved. You are forgiven. Never forget that."
Weakened now, he finally buckled beneath their weight and let his head fall upon his brother's shoulder. The crown slipped off of his head and bounced across the floor as Kili wrapped his arms around his shoulders and shushed him. Together, he and Nadi held him up as he sobbed. The sound of his sadness echoed through the lonely dining hall, and he did not even know why he was crying. He lifted his hand and curled his shaking fingers in Kili's sleeve. The smell of them was all around him: the peppermint along Kili's chest and the sweet earthiness like that of wet soil wafting from Nadi's hair.
Gently, they lowered him to the ground until he was on his knees. He buried his face in his hands and wept as the images of all that he had done chased each other through his mind. Nadi had moved away but kept her hand on his shoulder as Kili held him upright in an unwavering embrace. Then, after a moment, Kili moved away. Fili sensed a powerful presence looming above him and he looked up. There stood Thorin with his hand outstretched. Fili grasped it in his cold palm and leveraged himself up slowly. The tears were beginning to dry along his cheeks as he and Thorin stared at each other. Then, suddenly, Thorin reached out and snapped the Arkenstone clean off of the leather braids strung around Fili's neck.
Fili gasped, feeling the cold air suddenly rush into his throat. Thorin's lips parted in a brief euphoria as he gazed upon the Arkenstone again after many, many years. Fili knew exactly what he was feeling, then. There was something so strange and enticing to the Arkenstone's cold smoothness. It was as if Thorin's face was lit with a blast of moonlight from his palm. He closed his eyes briefly, took a shuddering breath in, and then looked at Fili.
"Breathe," he ordered in an echoey, paternal voice and Fili inhaled deeply. Already he felt as if the heaviness hanging around his shoulders had lifted, and his body was liberated from the fatigue within it. Such was the relief that came with letting go of that which had held him captive for so long. Slowly, Fili let his breath back out and smiled.
"Color's come back to your cheeks," Nadi said from behind him.
"Doesn't matter," Kili said good-naturedly. "He's still ugly." Kili suddenly yelped as Nadi pinched his ear.
"Now's not the time for your jokes!" She squealed in an offended voice before pinching him again.
"But I wasn't joking!" Kili whined with just as much reproach. "He really is ugly!"
"Must I hit you with my belt, too!?"
"Oh, finally it's my turn!"
"You are ghastly-"
"-ghastly, but not ugly."
"Who said you weren't!?"
"Your mother, for starters- wait no, don't pinch me!"
Fili couldn't help it. He gave a hearty laugh at their banter and they, sensing his relief, laughed happily with him. Even Thorin chuckled as he tossed the Arkenstone in the air and then slid it beneath his vest. Never again would Fili, Nadi, or Kili see the cursed stone but they did not know this. Unbeknownst to them, the Arkenstone would soon be buried with Thorin in the cold burial chambers of Erebor.
"That is enough of that," Thorin said as the three young Dwarves stood in a huddle before him. "I've come to deliver harrowing news. War is coming. Dain is due to arrive any moment now, with an army which will march on our behalf."
"And what for?" Nadi asked. "I assumed that all had been settled."
Thorin turned and gazed upon her with a look of pity. "There are many who have had their eye upon the mountain for a long time. Now that it is retaken, the desire to occupy it has been reignited."
"But-!" She started but he quickly put a finger on her lips, silencing her.
"All that is to happen has already been decided upon," he said gently. "The callings have been there, ever since the outsiders learned of our quest to reclaim the mountain. It is unavoidable, Nadi, you must understand that. I have no choice but to help protect our land. But I did not just come to save you from the wrath of Khurza. I came to warn you. You must take your people and move far, far away from Lake-Town. You carry something precious, and I will not let your life be threatened once again by the events that have been set in motion."
Kili looked over at her with a deep frown, but she did not notice. She grabbed Thorin's vest in her hands and squeezed the fabric tight. "I will fight with you!" She cried and he shook his head.
"You will do no such thing. My highest priority is making sure that you will be delivered swiftly to safety. If I could, I would lay a caravan of armed guards upon your feet. But I cannot. I can only insist that you protect yourself, and your worth. Twice now, you've almost died on account of my misjudgments. I will not let that happen again." Gently, he untangled himself from her hold and turned to his nephews. "Will you stand by my side?"
"Aye," Fili said immediately. She turned to Kili and clasped her fists in front of him. He looked at her for a long time before cracking a small smile and reaching out to brush her hair away from her face.
"Do not look so frightened," he said. "Remember: I am a warrior first, and a gentleman second. I will return to you with many victories under my belt, my love. And then we shall have a long talk about the secrets that you have been hiding from me."
"But-"
"Men lananubukhs me, himrûna. Trust me. You will always be the bearer of my heart."
These words were sealed with a long, deep kiss. Thorin and Fili looked away respectfully as the two Dwarves held onto each other. Kili pulled back, looked lovingly into her eyes, and then ruffled her hair playfully. "I'll be back," he whispered before turning away. Nadi put her hand on her stomach and watched as the three Dwarves marched towards the doorway. The dining hall suddenly felt so large and pressingly silent upon their departure. She felt as if she should have said more - indeed, the time had been perfect for her to reveal her pregnancy. But she hadn't. All will be well, she told herself as her eyes began to smart with tears, I will tell him when he gets back. When, not if.
But, deep down in her heart, she felt as if something about these words did not ring true. But she could not think about that. With Fili gone, she'd have to act as queen in his stead. Her goal now was to get as far away from Lake-Town and deliver both her son and her people to safety before it was too late.