Just a little one shot for the May 2022 Song to Story Challenge "Shut up and Kiss Me"

Thanks for reading!

Listen with your Heart

BPOV

The sound of my high heels echoed as I made my way down the corridor and approached the principal's office. I took a deep breath, smoothed the hair away from my face, and raised my hand to press the button.

After a few seconds the light above the doorway flashed, indicating I could enter. I was here for my first day as a teacher at the Pennsylvania School for the Deaf. I'd taken the position after a rather tumultuous last two years. I'd broken off an engagement, left my job, my apartment, and the few friends I'd made in New York, and now found myself back home.

The receptionist finished typing and smiled at me. "Good morning, Miss Swan," she signed quickly as she rose to her feet. "Dr. Banner is expecting you." I smiled in return and let out a soft sigh as I reminded myself again, I had done the right thing.

Yes, if the pandemic had taught me anything, it was that too much togetherness would either make or break a relationship. In our case, it broke it. I wish I could say I cared more … by the end, I didn't.

"You left everything that was good about yourself back in Philly, Bella," he'd spat "But I always knew I'd never live up to him."

I fought back the tears that threatened to spill over as I remembered his words. As much as I wanted to deny it, he'd spoken the truth. I'd never gotten over him; even after all these years … I'd never gotten over Edward.

~!~

I was ten and Edward was eleven when we met. We became inseparable almost instantly.

My mother tutored deaf children as a side hustle, and Edward was one of her students. My parents were deaf; my brother and I weren't. The fact that my parents couldn't hear was a non-issue. In fact, my friends thought it was cool, and my brother Emmett was constantly teaching them how to sign curse words; it drove my mother nuts.

As Edward and I grew older, although we went to different schools, we remained the best of friends, and by the time we were in high school, I realized I was in love with him … I had always been in love with him.

Unfortunately, no matter how many hints I tried to drop, the boy was completely clueless. One day, after talking to my best friend Alice, she'd finally gotten fed up with my whining. "Bella, I've listened to about as much of this as I can take. Just fucking tell the guy you like him. Jeez, it's not that hard, girl."

I mulled over what she'd said and decided she was right. The next day after school I went to Edward's baseball game like I always did. I watched as Lauren Mallory flirted with him after he hit a homerun and proceeded to cross home plate. Then, without even thinking, I pounded down the bleachers and pushed her to the side, grabbing a fistful of Edwards uniform and kissing him for all the world to see. When I pulled back, he stared at me with a look of pure shock on his face. And then a smile broke out; the biggest, most blinding smile I'd ever seen, and he grabbed me by the hips, pulled me to him, and kissed me right back.

~!~

I didn't like to think about Edward leaving for college but knew I'd have to face it sooner or later. He was going to school in California in the fall, but we'd make it work somehow … we had to.

He looked dashing in his tux the night of the prom, and when the band came on, Edward smiled and kissed me softly as Alice and some of my friends pulled me out of his arms and onto the dance floor. We squealed as the opening riff of 'Living on a Prayer' began, the bass thudding in our ears.

I twirled and laughed with my friends, and when I glanced over, I saw Edward watching me with an intensity that made me uneasy. He had been looking at me like that a lot in the past few weeks and I didn't like it. I broke away from Alice and rushed over to him, throwing my arms around his neck, and belting out the chorus … Edward was an excellent lip reader.

He looked down at me almost wistfully as I continued to croon.

Whoahhhhh, we're halfway there … Whooa-ooh livin' on a prayer!"

"Take my hand, and we'll make it I swear!" I smiled up at him and grabbed his hand, lost in the moment, and the thrill of being in love.

I chose to ignore it when he didn't smile back. He'd get over it. He always did.

~!~

Dr. Banner led me through the hall just as the periods changed. The classroom doors opened, and a flood of students streamed out into the hallway. I smiled as I made my way through the throng, when suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something.

A quick flash of bronze hair, hunched shoulders, and a stance I'd have known anywhere ...

~!~

Edward was not in this building; he couldn't be.

Edward was living in California working for some software company; at least that's what google told me when I let myself slip one drunken night.

I felt myself beginning to get angry again as I thought about the past.

He'd given me some bullshit excuse about wanting me to enjoy my senior year and college. He said I shouldn't be 'tied down' with some deaf guy.

He'd done this before, and it always pissed me off. I punched him in the arm. "Are you serious with this crap right now?" I signed angrily. "You can't be serious with this!" He didn't respond. My fingers flew rapidly as the emotions spilled out of me; tired of this old, stupid argument.

"Do you think Emmett and I are 'tied down' with my parents? Is that really what you think of me Edward?" He shook his head despondently and I reached for him.

"I love you." I signed over his heart. He couldn't even look at me.

I grabbed his face and turned it toward me so I was sure he could read my lips. "You're a fucking coward."

He looked at me with sorrowful eyes … and the next week he was gone.

~!~

"You fucking knew? This whole time you fucking knew?"

Alice and I were sitting outside having lunch. I'd told her about what I thought was an Edward sighting at school, and it all came pouring out of her.

"I'm sorry Bella, really, I am. It's just, I couldn't tell you. I thought you might not take the job."

"You're right," I interjected, "I wouldn't have."

She continued as if I hadn't spoken. "He developed that patent. Remember, the software program for sign language? He really did it. How did you not know this? Don't you and your mother talk?"

She looked at me with a sad expression. "It's been ten years Bella. Won't you even consider giving him a chance to explain?"

"Explain what Alice? Explain how he didn't have the courage to fight for us? Explain how he broke my heart so easily? How exactly would he explain that?"

"Wow," she whispered softly. "You really have become a jaded lady when it comes to love haven't you?"

I scoffed.

"You have," she reaffirmed.

"Maybe," she said softly, "he'd try to explain how he was an eighteen-year-old kid who didn't know how to handle things." I gave her the side eye, not willing to give an inch.

"And for the record Bella," she added, "you're not entirely blameless here either."

I looked up at her in surprise.

"Oh, I know you want to play the victim," she said. " … and I've allowed you to do that all these years. But I remember plenty of times when Edward tried to talk to you about how he felt, and you brushed him off … acted like it was nonsense -"

"Because it was!" I interjected hotly.

"But not to him, Bella," she said softly. "Not to Edward. He was terrified he'd ruin your life because he was different, and you didn't allow him to feel that, or to talk to you about it. You just shut him down."

I sat back in the chair, begrudgingly acknowledging she had a point. I thought back to my impulsive, impetuous seventeen-year-old self and knew she was right. I'd never let him talk about his fears or insecurities because I was too afraid I'd lose him; and in the end, that's just what happened.

"He knows you're working there," she said. I looked up quickly. "He knows?"

She nodded. "Yes, he's been working in their IT department for the past year. Emmett and I see him occasionally." I looked at her in surprise. "You're … you've been in contact with him?"

She nodded. "He thought you got married."

She looked at me with a hopeful expression. "He still loves you, Bella." My breath caught in my throat.

"Won't you just talk to him?"

I was beginning to smell a set up and tried to keep my tough demeanor; not wanting to show any sign of weakness.

"Talk is cheap and time's expensive, Alice," I said testily.

"Yeah, well, life's too short to be so apprehensive, Bella." She replied indignantly.

She smirked at me, and I knew I didn't stand a chance.

~!~

The server set down my third glass of water and I mentally kicked myself for showing up so early.

How had I let Alice talk me into this?

I looked up and that's when I saw him … gliding through the entrance of the restaurant looking like time hadn't touched him at all. He looked exactly the same … no, that's not entirely true; he looked better, more mature, not the skinny teenager he had been all those years ago. But his eyes were the same, deep pools of warm green.

My heart stuttered as I watched him look around the room until his eyes landed on me, and time stood still as we gazed at one another.

And it was as if the last ten years didn't matter. It didn't matter to me that we'd been apart, or for how long. It didn't matter who was stubborn or who was stupid; none of it mattered. And looking at him, how I wished I could turn back time and get those lost years back.

He walked toward me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine until he stood in front of me before dropping to the seat. He didn't waste a moment and began to sign frantically.

"I was an idiot … stupid … asinine." He looked up at me imploringly and I saw the despair in his beautiful eyes.

"You were right; I was a fucking coward. I know you can never forgive me, but I had to see you, just once … just once so I could tell you ... I've never stopped loving you. I'm the stupidest man on the entire planet; I know this. I know I don't deserve -"

He looked up in shock as I grabbed his hands in mine to stop his litany. Tears streamed down my face, and I smiled at him through their haze.

"Shut up," I said in a hoarse whisper. "Shut up," I repeated with more conviction. "Shut up and kiss me."

His eyes widened and I saw a mixture of emotions in them … love, hope, and a small bit of salvation he didn't think he deserved.

And when he leaned forward, I knew the exact moment he registered what I'd said … after all, Edward was an excellent lip reader.