Chapter 7 - Stage Four Grief: Depression

Scott took his time leaving the lab, honestly torn on how to process everything while he was taking in the fact that everything on Genosha was so … vividly bright. But the joy and wonder at regaining his sight was still bitterly tinged with the heavy losses they'd sustained. And those losses were touching every single facet of their lives. For instance, Scott nearly lost his breath when, on seeing the beautiful flowers that lined the sidewalk, his first reaction was to automatically reach out to project to Jean what he was seeing, only to very suddenly need to find a bench to rebalance himself for a good, long while.

It was emotional whiplash of the worst kind, and Scott was already hurting before that had started up. The confusion and joy of finally being able to see in living color instead of shades of red since he was a kid was almost enough to make him momentarily forget that he'd lost the girl who held his heart. But that only lasted long enough for him to instinctively reach for her. Because she'd been there, in his head since …. Well, since the first time the Phoenix had nearly destroyed their world. Since the flaming firebird had chosen his first love to be its host. And even the memory of how that telepathic link had been forged was now tainted since even that had been partially in thanks to the bloodthirsty lying cosmic parasite that had stolen her.

If he wasn't so damned depressed over all of it, Scott would have been furious. But he didn't have the energy to be that angry. Not when he knew it wouldn't bring Jean back. Not when he knew what little energy he had left was best spent taking care of their kids … and Logan's orphaned son.

Scott turned and found a clock that read out the time clearly - something that he might not have been able to read properly considering that the numbers were red - and he forced himself to his feet. He'd been gone for far too long. Especially when it was obvious that James got nervous when left with Bobby and Kitty for too long - as if he was just waiting for someone else to step in and take him to live with someone new.

He was almost back to the house where the team was holed up for the moment when he heard his name and turned to see Erik making his way over. It was a little different seeing the Magneto regalia in living color, though he tried not to look too surprised all the same at the garish combination - even if the red and purple were distressed and battle-worn.

"Hello, Erik," Scott said softly as Erik touched down lightly. Scott didn't know it, but Erik had rarely been walking the past week or so since the X-Men had been rescued from the brink of their own executions. He'd simply been too furious.

"How are you feeling, Scott?" Erik asked gently, though it was clear he was studying him as they walked.

"Still getting used to it," Scott admitted. There was no point in lying about it. "It's a shock going from the visor to bandages to living color."

"Stark pulled through then," Erik said, sounding almost surprised.

"He did," Scott said. "Even better vision than I had as a kid." He was sure Erik's men would tell him about the upgrades, but old habits had Scott holding back the rest of it.

"I'll be honest," Erik told him. "I had my doubts about letting him remain here, even for this."

"I spoke with Storm. If anything had gone wrong, if there were implants or worse, she'd have taken the kids and gotten lost on the wind." Scott tipped his chin up. "I'm not risking them. Ever."

"You know you're welcome to stay here, where it's safer, Scott." Erik was watching him carefully. "Even if I know you were only planning to be here until you could get your feet under you."

"If it was just my kids, I'd consider it," Scott said. "But I think James needs to be able to get out in the woods. When he comes into his mutation, he'll need the quiet, not an island full of people."

"You don't know for sure that he'll be anything like his parents," Erik said.

"I know it's the most likely outcome. And I know from dealing with them both that crowds overwhelm their senses." Scott crossed his arms. "It's not something James will be able to control. Not like what our powers were."

"You still have several years before that would be a concern, my boy."

"I know." Scott let out a long breath. "And you have a point about safety in numbers. Just … let me think about it."

The two of them walked together in relative silence, but in trying to avoid looking at Magneto, Scott saw all of the mutants who obviously knew who he was - and what had happened to his team if the sympathetic looks were anything to go by. It only made the quiet walk to the house that much more uncomfortable, but Scott had to find a better subject to discuss or he was going to lose his fine grasp on his emotions.

"You should be at the memorial." Scott swallowed hard, a muscle working in his jaw as he dug for the words while Erik was still quietly in shock at their current strange cease-fire. "I'm sorry. About the professor. I know he thought a lot of you and the respect he had ...I know you meant a lot to each other."

"You've lost so much in such a short span of time," Erik said quietly, clearly touched by what Scott had said.

"I couldn't save him," Scott said, looking past Erik with his hands still in fists.

"We couldn't save any of them once those wheels set into motion," Erik said in a sad, metered tone.

Scott was quiet for a long time before he finally met Erik's gaze. "You were right," he said thickly, his voice catching in his throat.

"And I've never wanted to have been wrong so badly in my life," Erik replied with a tight smile.

"I'm sorry about Pietro," Scott said, his hand on the doorknob. "Kurt told me what happened. If it's any consolation, K was operating under threat of my daughter's death - and she knew that Creed had plans to use him. I wouldn't be surprised if that was going to be Creed's path here. Pietro would be killed or worse along with the rest of us."

Erik's gaze hardened a bit at that. "There's no way to know that for certain, is there?"

"I know it's hollow." Scott looked down. "Not one of my people had a choice in it. She was desperate, and I think … I think she fully expected to die. Just not … how she did. I can't make it any better or apologize enough."

"Let's not talk about the what ifs or could have beens," Erik said. "We both still have our losses to deal with irregardless."

"Then I can only say I'm sorry," Scott said.

"And I the same," Erik replied as Scott finally opened the door and the two of them stepped inside. The two Summers children rushed over, clearly excited to see their father, but James stayed back - warily watching the two men.

Nate immediately started to explore Scott's face with his hands, his eyes wide and his expression one of awe. "Daddy!" Nate declared happily. "Blue! Blue blue blue blue blue!"

It was the first time Scott cracked a smile. "What do you think, Rachel?"

"I dunno," she said, scrunching her nose up. "Where did your glasses go?"

"I don't need them," Scott explained. "When my eyes got hurt, it hurt my powers." He crouched to pick her up too. "Is that okay? No more optic blasts?"

Rachel looked shocked and then looked closer until she was nose to nose with Scott. "No more glasses?"

"No more glasses."

"O...Kay." She narrowed her eyes and then nodded once. "Okay. No glasses. You can just play with me an' Nate an' James cuz we don't have optical blasts either."

"What about Mia?" Scott asked, failing at hiding his amusement at Rachel's assessment.

"She's with her mom," Rachel said. "Her mom is real sad." She glanced over her shoulder to James. "James too. Cuz of everyone dying."

Scott nodded at that. "What about you, sweetheart?"

"I'm kinda sad too," Rachel said. "But I'm tryna not be. Because everyone needs hugs and I'm really busy makin' sure they get hugs."

Scott kissed the side of her head. "It's alright to be sad, Rach."

"Okay," she said, melting into a hug as Scott carried her and Nate to sit down with them both - and made sure to beckon James over too if he wanted it so he didn't feel left out.

James was slow about making his way over from where he'd been sitting in the window watching everyone as they walked by the house. Half of his attention was on Erik as he haltingly hedged closer to the Summers family. He was wary of all the new people coming in and out even though he was watching every one of them, and it was obvious that James was adrift. Scott knew it better than anyone else there, too. He scooped James up and then bent close to his ear. "We're not staying here forever, I promise," he whispered. "We're going to the woods soon. And we're going fishing. Okay?"

James still was watching Erik, even as Scott spoke with him, but finally, he very quietly nodded his head, though with all of the new changes - and Scott's new eyes, James was standoffish about everything, even being close to Scott … unless Scott was walking out of the door, that is.

Scott let out a breath and tapped James on the shoulder. "Hey, buddy, I know it's a lot. Do you want 'em brown instead?" He tipped his head to catch James' gaze. "I don't care."

James stayed silent and shook his head lightly.

"Well, that's probably good anyhow- I think Nate is attached." Scott said, trying to get a smile out of the boys. "You can pick my shades, though. I still need sunglasses, and I'd like a break from red."

James shook his head again and tried to take a step back. "Rachel can pick."

Scott let out a breath. "Alright, James," he said gently. "I'm just - just trying to be a good godfather, alright? I don't want you to be left out."

At that, James turned away from Erik entirely and looked up at Scott for a moment before he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Scott's neck to snuggle in without another word.

Scott let his shoulders relax with the hug, even as the two Summers kids joined in. "Yeah. Love you too."

Erik had just opened his mouth to ask a question when there was a light knock on the door that broke up the little snuggle fest. James let go of Scott quickly and zipped off to a more hidden spot- though Scott realized he needed to learn the layout of the house before he could do much else. He wondered for an instant how many hiding spots James had found for himself for when he was overwhelmed. But he didn't have time to think about it much when Wanda opened the door and let herself in.

"I hope it's a good time," she said just before a pair of three year olds darted around her legs and Vision stepped up to stand behind her. "I held the boys back as long as I could, but they really want to spend some time with kids their own age." Billy made a loop back to his parents, and Wanda rested her hand on the top of his head as he hugged her legs, smiling up at her. "Say hello to Scott, boys."

"HI!" Billy and Tommy sang out - from opposite sides of the room as Tommy raced around.

Billy let go of his mother before she could stop him and he bounced over to the living room, barely pausing to wave at his grandfather with a grin before he climbed up on the opposite end of the couch that Scott and his kids were on. He smiled at the Summers kids for a moment, and though Rachel smiled back a little, Nate didn't hesitate to climb down from his father and head over to play with Tommy - and the cars he'd brought along.

Wanda gave her father a look, though the others seemed to miss it, and a moment later, she took the seat next to Scott when Billy followed Rachel over to where she'd been working on a puzzle. "Sorry for swinging by without the warning," she said. "The boys were pushing to meet everyone. They heard all about your little ones from Alex and Lorna, so of course, they wanted to see if they were as fun as he'd said they were.

Scott nodded, honestly glad to see Rachel and Nate trying at least. But he couldn't help but turn his head and look for James. "They can use the boost, honestly," Scott said, and a moment later, he'd tried out the scanner to see where James had tucked himself away without alarming him.

When he found James hiding under a corner table that had a cloth that covered it to the floor, Scott made his way over to him and simply stood there while he chatted with Wanda. When she frowned at his odd placement in the room, he pointed to the table to tip her off but not entirely bust James out as to where he was hidden.

Wanda made a face that showed exactly how much she wanted to pull James out and snuggle him, but instead, nodded and stayed close by while Scott told her how he was adjusting to the colors.

Which drew Tommy and Billy closer. "My favorite color is red," Billy said, smiling up at both of them, but staying just out of Wanda's reach.

"My fav'rit's green," Tommy announced, just as Nate threw his arms up and shouted out 'bluuueee!'

"What about you, Rachel? What's your favorite color?" Wanda asked, keeping half an eye out for James and hoping the kids would draw him out.

"I like a lot of them," Rachel said. "I like green because my eyes are green, but I like pink, too. And light purple cause lotsa flowers are purple that smell pretty." She looked around them for a moment as the twins bounced in place, only to gasp and look up at Scott. "Daddy! Where's James?"

"I think he's hiding," Scott said. "He'll come out when he's ready."

"Ooooooh! Hide an' seek!" Tommy laughed, clapping his hands as he bounced in place almost enough to fall over.

"No.." Scott tried to tell him, in a vain attempt to slow him down - but it was too late and the three boys rushed off to find hiding spots.

Twice Tommy returned just to circle the adults before darting off another direction - and once more to inform Rachel that she was 'it' since she hadn't gone to hide. So Scott almost missed it when Billy came from the other direction and apparently decided that the little table that James was tucked into was the perfect hiding spot.

Scott was close to smiling, but when he saw Billy slipping under the table cloth, he turned to try and stop him - but it was a little too late by the surprised sounding 'oh!' that Billy almost squeaked out when he saw the spot was taken. "Do you wanna share spots?" Billy whispered loud enough for Wanda and Scott to hear - and his tone shifted to one of deep concern when James' only answer was to curl in tighter around himself, his arms around his knees and his face half hidden as he folded himself over.

Billy lost much of his smile as he watched James react and instead of pushing or trying to talk, Billy echoed James' posture as he scooted in to sit next to him, though he wasn't quite ready to sit entirely still like James was doing. He wiggled and tried to be still, and when James didn't answer any of his very soft questions, Billy unfolded himself and stuck his head out from under the table cloth to look up at his mother. "Mom," he said quietly - and very serious. "Help! He sad."

Wanda glanced at Scott and crouched down. "Who's sad?"

Billy looked very serious as he picked up the table cloth a little as if Wanda could climb in and fit with them. "He is. But I don't know his name 'cause he doesn't talk."

She peeked under to see James looking up at her - still folded up, still hiding as best as he could - and then she gently pulled Billy out and ran her hand over his hair and held him almost in a hug with her other arm. "That's because he lost his mom and dad," Wanda whispered in Billy's ear. "He feels very sad about them."

Billy was wide eyed as he stared back at her. "Do we have'ta find 'em?"

"No, sweetheart," Wanda said as Billy went still to listen closer. "James is going to stay with Scott and Nate and Rachel from now on."

Billy nodded at that. "I think he really needs a hug."

"I think so too," Wanda said, then quietly picked up the edge of the table cloth and offered James her hand. "Hello, I'm sorry we interrupted your hiding spot."

James's shoulders went up to his ears, but he didn't run the other way.

"This is Billy, and I'm Wanda," she said as she sat cross-legged on the floor. "Would it be okay if we gave you a little hug? We hugged all the other kids here and I'd hate to miss any of you."

James thought about it for a long moment before he very carefully unfolded himself and slipped toward them, only to pause and look up at Scott, who nodded once before James stood up, still half curled into himself as he tried to look smaller. Wanda reached out and gently pulled him in the rest of the way, letting him go at his pace, but also making it clear that she wanted to follow through on the hug … and surprising Scott, once Wanda had her arm around him, James melted into her shoulder.

Wanda let out a little sigh and held the little guy there, though it wasn't long before first Billy - and then Tommy and Nate came in to join in. Of course, that only seemed to last for exactly as long as it took James to realize how many people were around him … and then immediately start to squirm his way out of it. Which was easier said than done when a couple of snuggly very small kids were involved.

Scott picked him out of the dogpile, and James leaned toward him as the other kids seemed to just run with a little snuggle pile without him. "You alright, bud?" Scott asked quietly, and for an instant, James looked toward the window before he shook his head 'no'. "I know. It's hard with all the people you don't know, but they just want to help." James didn't really nod as he hid his face in Scott's shoulder. "What can I do to help?"

"I wanna go home," James said, whisper quiet - but it was the most he'd said since they got to Genosha.

Scott doubled down on holding him a little tighter. "I know, and we won't stay much longer, alright?"

The kids played for a while longer, until the twins started showing signs of being worn and tired, then Wanda and Vision scooped them up and took them out with a promise to see them again soon. Erik had stayed behind, watching Scott and the others as they interacted with the kids.

In particular, he couldn't help but focus on how Scott was with James, quietly watching the whole thing with a strange sort of frown. For one thing, it was no secret that Scott and Logan weren't terribly close, so the godfather title had been a surprise. But watching Scott with the littlest members of the group outside of Storm's blue-furred little girl … it was clear even before Scott could think it over properly what his answer was going to be to his invitation to stay on Genosha.

Erik stuck around until Scott got James and Nate to lay down for a nap - and Rachel insisted on tucking them in. Scott closed the door to the kids' room behind himself and came out to meet Erik.

"I can't stay here. I can't stay where people knew her," Scott said, trying to explain his thought process to avoid a fight. He just wanted to leave and stop thinking about anything but the kids for a while. Especially with how traumatized they were over the losses they'd sustained.

"The door is always open should you change your mind," Erik said gently.

"Thank you," Scott said. "I'm only speaking for myself. Bobby, Kitty, Ororo, Hank - I don't know what they're thinking."

"As you well know, my offer is good for all of you," Erik replied as gently as he could. "I don't think I could turn my back on Charles' old students."

Scott's eyes tightened, and he nodded. It was clear to Erik why Scott wouldn't be staying, and seeing how affected he was by the kids - and how dependent they were already on each other. Scott was positively wrapped around the kids' fingers, and if any one of the kids wanted out, he'd bend over backward to make it happen. The time simply wasn't right.

Bobby sat down beside Erik after Scott stepped back to check on the little ones, with a muttered, "Yeah, Logan shocked the heck out of … well, everyone when he told Scott who they wanted for Godparents. K explained it better, though. Figured Scott and Jean would step in if anything happened…." He trailed off. "I mean, he was right. But you know. It sucks."

"I didn't realize …" Erik let the sentence fall.

"Yeah, I think they saw him do that thing?" Bobby tipped his head toward the semi-open bedroom door. "With Rachel? And it's only was getting worse every time someone had a kid, so… clearly, it's a thing."

"I see."

"Yeah." Bobby let out a breath and turned to face Erik. "I know right now everyone's focused on the cleanup. And the funerals. And everything. But I gotta ask - did they get 'em all? I mean, not to downplay the Phoenix or anything but there's the FoH and the MRD and Department H and it's not like there's a shortage?"

"It's been … very quiet," Erik said.

"Darn." Bobby glanced up quickly. "I mean - good. That's good. I just…" He let out a frustrated sound. "I didn't get to really do - after they knocked me out at the institute, I haven't gotten to do anything to hit back."

Erik looked surprised at that and turned toward Bobby. "I'm sure you'll find that even when one of those places is eradicated, more will show their ugly faces in short time."

"Yeah, it's just…" Bobby shook his head. "I got played. And I can't make it up to a dead guy. And it sucks."

"I don't know what you'd need to make up," Erik said. "But if you want to fight, you know I won't turn you away."

"Yeah, well, maybe I will," Bobby said, glancing toward Scott and Ororo, who were both clearly just hanging onto their respective kids to stay upright. "Not like the team's getting back together after this."

Erik frowned as he followed Bobby's gaze - and almost missed it when Kitty phased through the couch and made a space for herself to sit too. "You're not going anywhere without me," she informed Bobby, one finger pointed at his nose. "I didn't even get to see Logan before he died. I'm getting my katana and fixing a few problems I know the Phoenix didn't get to."

"You mean like Lady Deathstrike?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, and some of those other idiots in Japan…" Kitty tipped her chin up. "I might not be able to bait out ninjas as easy without him, but I still know how to fight them."

"Once our official stuff is taken care of," Bobby said, nodding. "I'll go with you."

Kitty smiled grimly at that and then squeezed his arm. "I guess I can use a sidekick."

"If you want a sidekick, we can probably get Spidey to go with, too," Bobby pointed out.

Kitty smirked at that. "He would."

"Do you still have his number?" Bobby asked in the most low-key teasing Kitty had ever heard.

Kitty blinked at him and then shoved him in the shoulder. "I mean, yes, but - shut up!"

"Would you feel better if I passed him a note for you?" Bobby said with the start of a smile. "'Do you want to go on a world tour of butt kicking - check yes or no'."

"Are you asking for me or you, because you're way too happy about this," Kitty shot back.

"You were cute with your flirting," Bobby said. "I can see it."

"He… shut up, Bobby."

"I feel like I should try to stand in and be intimidating for you," Bobby said. "Set the ground rules …"

"Bobby, first of all, I'm way more intimidating than you are…"

"This is about intent," Bobby defended. "And I can be intimidating!"

Kitty smirked and then reached over to pat Bobby's head. "Sure you can."

"Just wait, Pryde. Just you wait," Bobby said.

Kitty smirked at Bobby and then stuck her tongue out before she phased back into the other room, leaving Bobby shaking his head at her - though in a considerably better mood.

For most of the people that attended the funeral, the whole thing went more or less in a blur. It was just… a lot. And nobody who came was remotely at a point where they had truly processed their losses.

So Tony was surprised when Scott was the one to find him, since he was sure the guy still had to be a mess of emotions from… all of it. But he had Nate asleep on his shoulder, while Rachel kept close to James who was quietly listening to some Asgardian story that Thor was telling them. It was plain to see that Thor was completely entranced with Rachel's spunk and James' tenacity, even if he was still being unnaturally quiet for a three year old.

"Whenever you're ready," Scott said in an undertone, "the kids' belongings have already been unloaded. We just need to finish the security checks."

"I'll get Natasha," Tony said. "I've got some portable stuff you might appreciate."

"Well, so far, you haven't let me down…"

"How are the second gen eyes working out?"

"Focus is better," Scott said. "Rachel gets a kick out of the long-range scanners. So thanks for making me a video game."

"Welcome to my world, my friend," Tony said under his breath before he headed off to grab Natasha. The two of them had a quiet word that Scott watched go down. It took Natasha no time at all to compose herself, though one glance at James had her nodding quickly and strutting back toward Scott with her most professional expression in place.

"You're sure you want to use one of the old cabins?" Natasha asked. "I could find somewhere more hidden if you'd like. I never did find all of hers, but …."

"I need something familiar," Scott said. "Not for me, for James. Something that was his dad's." He met her gaze steadily. "It's not just about the security, though being that remote is part of it."

Natasha did a less than stellar job of keeping her game face on as she nodded along. "Then lets get it secured for you."

Scott nodded at that. "You understand I'm not letting anyone but you or Stark near this."

"He has access to the tech, and I spent part of my childhood with Logan," Natasha said. "I know what his idea of security was and it was generally lacking."

"That's the only reason I'm letting anyone see the place. At all." Scott raised both eyebrows and gave her a pointed look. "Jean wiped Department H off the map, but I've always said you can't kill an idea. If someone finds out about James, they will come for him."

"I'll keep my ear to the ground," Natasha promised.

"And so will I," Scott said. "Believe it or not, I've got Magneto on my side on this one. So we're all in agreement."

Natasha nodded her head and turned in time to catch James and Rachel headed their way. Rachel was cheerful but cautious, and little James was apprehensive and openly watching her.

"You have red hair like me," Rachel informed Natasha as she came to stand by her dad, automatically holding onto his pants leg as she'd been doing since she really understood that her mom wasn't coming back.

"Yes," Natasha said with a little smile. "I think it's the best color, don't you?"

Rachel nodded. "It's like my mom," she said softly, twirling her hair around her finger.

"And you'll be just as beautiful, I'm sure," Natasha told her before she turned to wait for them to head to the quinjet. "Are you ready for a little break from everyone?"

Rachel glanced up at Scott, who had a hand on her back automatically as soon as she was close enough, before she looked back to Natasha. "My daddy needs to be sad by himself, so we're going to go fishing."

"I happen to think that's a very smart thing to do," Natasha said, sparing Scott a little smile.

"Miss Storm says it's okay to be sad, so I think I will be too," Rachel said, hugging Scott a little tighter. "But right now, I'm doing hugs." She paused. "Do you need hugs?"

"I do," Natasha said. "But I won't ask for one unless your Dad says it's alright."

Rachel glanced up at Scott, who nodded minutely, and then she rushed over to give Natasha a hug - with James watching the whole interaction carefully from the other side of Scott.

"My mommy and daddy were superheroes, so I'm tryna help like them," Rachel whispered to Natasha as she hugged her. "'Specially 'cause Daddy don't got his optical laser face no more."

Natasha melted into the hug, pouring it right back to Rachel as she gave her the best snuggle she knew how. "Then it's a good thing he never needed that to keep you safe."

Rachel smiled up at Natasha. "He looks silly now 'cause he's got blue eyes instead of red!" she giggled quietly.

Natasha smirked crookedly. "I think they suit him."

"They're like my Nate's!" Rachel said with a grin. "But mine are green like Mommy, see?" She got nose to nose with Natasha and opened her eyes widel. "See?"

"Stunning," Natasha replied, smiling a tiny bit more crookedly at the little girl's enthusiasm. "And that means all three of you have different eyes, don't you?" She peeked over to James, but he didn't step forward like she'd hoped he would.

Rachel let out a sigh. "James is shy," she said.

"He wasn't shy before," Natasha said.

"Uh huh. And now he's sad 'cause of he lost his mom and also his dad."

"I'm sad he lost them, too."

Rachel nodded. "He's gonna be my brother now, just like Nate," she explained. "So I'll take really good care of him, okay? I'm really good at helpnin' with Nate, and James is a little older so maybe he can help too once he's not so sad an' scared."

"If you ever need help, you'll let me know, won't you?"

"Uh-huh 'cause we need to help our friends," Rachel said. "That's what Mommy says. She says you gotta help everyone and be nice and stuff."

Natasha gave her a warm smile and started toward the quinjet. "Has your Daddy shown you how to fly this yet?"

Rachel giggled. "No, silly! I'm not big enough!"

"Getting close, though," Scott said with a soft, fond smile her way.

"Tony will fly with us - just to keep from drawing attention," Natasha said to Scott. "You can stay with the kids if you'd like. Or you can fly."

"I'll stay with them," Scott said, pointedly looking down at James before he picked him up with his free hand. "Pretty sure James isn't going to come unstuck until we're more solid."

"How's he been sleeping?" Natasha asked quietly.

"Not any better than I am," Scott said.

"That bad, huh?" Natasha said. "Has to be tough for such a little guy."

"His mom always put him to sleep," Scott said. "When his parents were out on a mission, he slept over with us and Jean was the one who always did it." He smiled tightly. "I'm not a good replacement for any of them."

"That … I'm sorry to hear it," she said, frowning a little deeper. She started for the cockpit, paused, then went to the back of the plane to come back with a few little blankets. "Just for the trip."

"Thanks," Scott said, already unfolding the blanket to tuck around the still sleeping Nate.

The quinjet went in fast, low, and totally undetected right to the coordinates Scott had given them, though when they landed, Both Tony and Natasha were sure to suit up and head out before Scott could even begin to rouse the kids, though as he'd said to Natasha - James hadn't fallen asleep on the flight. Even if he looked exhausted.

The two of them started out doing a general sweep of the area and a much more thorough sweep of the cabin itself, though Natasha was having trouble getting through the little cabin without some tears.

"Remember? It's okay to be sad," Rachel said quietly, catching Natasha off her guard when she grabbed Natasha's hand.

She blinked back what she could and gave Rachel a tight kind of smile as she crouched down. "Logan was very special to me," she told her quietly before she rested her hand on Rachel's hair.

"I loved Logan and K lots," Rachel said, staring up at Natasha intently.

"Then you know how special it is to be in this place that he loved so much," Natasha said before she took a few steps back and quickly composed herself to get back to work - setting up all sorts of miniscule equipment.

Eventually, all three of the adults were convinced they were set up, and Rachel made sure to hug Natasha. Nate even hugged her too - having just woken up and deciding that whoever his sister was hugging, he needed to hug.

James finally made his way over to Natasha, while Tony was telling Scott about the panic buttons in addition to all the other measures and for a moment he stared up at Natasha. When she crouched down, he came close enough to give her a little kiss on the cheek - like he would do before all this mess came down on them.

Natasha positively melted, and she snatched James up into a tight hug and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "Ya tebya lyublyu."

"Proshchay," James replied quietly.

Natasha let out an involuntary noise. "I will see you soon. Whenever you need me. I promise."

When Natasha and Tony got back to the Avengers Tower, it was clear both of them were still reeling. There was no good way to leave behind a broken family, but they both knew the best thing for them was to let them find a new normal together.

They hardly spoke a word to each other before they split. Tony headed for his lab, and Natasha headed toward the residential halls, though not to her own room.

When she walked in, Clint was working on his bowtie with one hand as he pulled some leftovers out of the mini fridge. He smiled up at her when he saw her come in and then tipped his head to tell her to come in. "Figured you'd want to be alone, but if you want company, I can order out. Really only enough for one…"

Natasha shook her head as she closed the door behind her. "I don't want to be alone."

"Not complaining," he promised. "Really. This whole thing was rough. Even those of us that weren't that close… it's rough."

Natasha nodded before she kicked off from the door and crossed over to him in a few steps to snag him by the half-tied bowtie and pull him into a long kiss that didn't end until they were tangled up in each other.

Clint grinned. "Well, that's one way to cheer up."

"Shut up, Barton," she said, pulling him into another long kiss.

…..

From Russian:

Ya tebya lyublyu - I love you.

Proshchay - goodbye (as opposed to do svidaniya which is 'until next time')