The Ridonculous Race: Cartoon Crossover
Episode 15: Shen Gong WHOA! - Part 1
Don: Last time, on The Ridonculous Race: Cartoon Crossover! Our teams arrived in Japan where they arrived at the media center of Tokyo, with wild results. Ha! What fun! Then they had to chow down on some super spicy sushi or battle an experienced samurai warrior. During the battle, we got some insight into Hanzo & Genji's relationship, with special guest star, Samurai Jack, acting as their middleman. Demoman & Pyro shocked the groups when they managed to defeat , which was made even more amazing when their alliance members, Reaper & Widowmaker weren't unable to defeat one of their enemies. However, despite being unable to complete the challenge, Reaper & Widowmaker were spared elimination, leading to the Part-Time Heroes' early exit, and a memento to me from Sashi. (comes onto the scene, with an icepack over his black eye) What sort of chaos and dangers will appear behind each corner? Let's find out. This is, The Ridonculous Race: Cartoon Crossover.
Cue Theme Song
Normally, the scene would open up on Don as he was about the introduce the teams' next destination, but this episode, things open up a bit differently. We focus in on a Chinese temple made of stone and blue tiles. We then see a quartet of young adolescents monks practicing martial arts techniques while holding mystical-looking relics. The first was a short, young Chinese boy with yellow skin and a bald head, as well as what appeared to be nine white glowing dots on his forehead. He was holding a blue sphere; the second was an older Brazilian male with spiky brown hair and tan skin. He was holding a sword; the third was a Japanese female with light skin and black hair tied in two pigtails. She was holding a star amulet with a ruby in the center; and the last one was a large Caucasian male with blonde hair underneath a brown cowboy hat with a blue strap. He had what appeared to be a metal gauntlet on his right hand. They're all wearing red robes with blue sashes, black pants, and black and white shoes.
Unknown Individual: Sword of the Storm! Wind! (releases a massive gust of wind that blows away a group of practice dummies)
Unknown Individual: Orb of Tornami! Water! (releases a massive tidal wave that washes away a number of practice dummies)
Unknown Individual: Star Hanabi! Fire! (releases a fireball that burns a group of practice dummies to ashes)
Unknown Individual: Fist of Tebigong! Earth! (punches the ground, causing a crater to form. However, it accidental goes under the Japanese girl's legs, causing her to fall in and release a major fireball into the sky, causing fire to rain down over the temple) Whoops. My bad.
Unknown Individual: Do not fear, I shall have this done haste-post.
Unknown Individual: That's posthaste, Omi. (the Chinese boy, whose name is apparently Omi, unleashes another wave from the blue sphere, dubbed the Orb of Tornami, putting out all the fires)
Unknown Individual: (to the cowboy) Clay, you need to be more careful about where you punch the ground.
Clay: Sorry, Kimiko. I feel more embarrassed than a mule at the Kentucky Derby.
Omi: Take it with a grain of pepper, my friend.
Unknown Individual: You mean a grain of salt, right?
Omi: That too. (that's when the group notices a small green dragon with yellow fins and a red tuff under his chin and on his tail)
Kimiko: Dojo, what's the rush?
Dojo: Kids, we gotta get a move on.
Omi: Did another Shen Gong Wu activate, Dojo?
Dojo: No, The Ridonculous Race: Cartoon Crossover is on.
Unknown Individual: What? (checks his watch) Whoa, he's right. We totally forgot about it.
Clay: What'd you expect, Raimundo? We've been fightin' bad guys left and right.
Omi: We must hurry. There is no time to dally our dillies.
Raimundo: I think you mean dilly-dally.
Omi: That makes no sense.
The monks then proceed to pull out various artifacts. Omi pulls out a glove, consisting of three, long, gold claws attached to a wooden sleeve that goes around the wrist.; Raimundo pulls out a blue spherical artifact wrapping in black metal with tan and red highlights and a handle; Kimiko pulls out a pair of blue, gold-winged sandals, which bear a striking resemblance to the winged sandals of the mythological Greek god, Hermes; and Clay pulls out a green and red paper kite in the shape of a dragon. We then get a four-way split screen as they call out the names of the artifacts.
Omi: Golden Tiger Claws!
Raimundo: Shard of Lightning!
Kimiko: Fancy Feet!
Clay: Longi Kite!
Each of the artifacts have a unique ability to them. Omi opens a hole in space which he proceeds to jump through; Raimundo disappears in a flash of light; Kimiko runs extremely fast; and Clay flies with the Longi Kite attached to his back. We then cut to one of the temple rooms where we see Omi exit through a portal; Raimundo appear in a flash of light; Kimiko zooms in at lightning speed; and Clay swoops up before coming to the ground slowly and getting himself seated on a pillow, as do the others. They find themselves standing in front of a television set, which is playing The Ridonculous Race: Cartoon Crossover.
Kimiko: I can't they didn't have a television set before Clay found an old one in his family's basement.
Clay: Yeah, well I'm just glad Raimundo was able to fix it up.
Omi: Indeed. This thing that allows for the characters to move and interact with us is a marvelous contraption. It's the fly's thighs.
Raimundo: The bee's knees.
Omi: That too.
Clay: Where do think they'll be goin' next? Because I reckon Texas is their next destination.
Omi: Why not China? They have yet to go there.
Raimundo: I don't care where they go, so long as the Slackers make it.
Kimiko: You're routing for them? Please, Fillmore & Ingrid all the way.
Clay: Come on, Herry & Odie is the team I want to win the whole thing. They're as entertaining as a mud wrestlin' contest against a 100-pound boar.
Omi: Well what about Hanzo & Genji? They are fantastic. They're riddled with disease.
Raimundo: You mean they're sick, don't you Omi?
Omi: That makes no sense. If they're sick, how can they participate in the race if they're sick?
Kimiko: (shushing everyone) It's starting. (they turn their attention towards the TV)
We zoom in on the screen, which helps lead to a transition in which we cut to Don's location in Tokyo.
Don: Meiji Shrine was last week's Chill Zone, which means it's today's starting point. And the first team to depart is the Ninjas, Hanzo & Genji. Or at least that's what we'd normally do… (Hanzo & Genji look confused) But today, I have a special announcement that concerns all the teams.
Hanzo: How so?
Don: You'll see. (motions for the teams to join him) Teams, today's episode will be a little different than most episodes. (everyone looks intrigued) You see, I've gained in possession some… interesting artifacts, which correspond with today's episode. (he pulls out the bag from the previous episode containing the artifacts)
He then pulls out four artifacts. The first one is a silver artifact in the shape of a manta ray with a red gem located in the middle and black fins; the second artifact appears to be a small, cat-like statue; the third artifact looks like a mechanical armadillo; and the fourth artifact has a circular bottom with black stripes, a long, tail-like structure connected to a golden front, and a light tan top with a dark tan stripe going down the middle horizontally.
Don: You all seeing these? (everyone nods) Good. (he then calls out their names one by one) Silver Manta Ray! Crouching Cougar! Tunnel Armadillo! Shen-Ga-Roo! (the artifacts activate, leading them to grow in size, much to everyone's amazement)
Atlanta: Okay, that's pretty bad***.
Odie: No kiddin'. I mean, Hephaestus' devices are impressive, but this is on a completely other level.
Agent K: What are these marvelous contraptions?
Don: They are…
Omi: Shen Gong Wu!
We cut back to the Xiaolin Showdown universe where we see Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, & Clay shocked at seeing the artifacts, dubbed Shen Gong Wu, in Don's possession.
Raimundo: How'd he get his hands on the Wu?
Clay: Beats me. This is more confusin' than trying to tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile.
Omi: Indeed. This is a most strange circumstance. How was he able to obtain the Wu?
Kimiko: How on. I had my U-Bot monitor things while we were sleeping. She may've gotten something on her monitors.
Raimundo: Wait, wasn't see stepped on?
Kimiko: The eyes still work, broken or unbroken. (she then taps into the head of the U-Bot, which projects a screen from her eyes, which play on a nearby wall)
We then see a video featuring a Dimension Car arriving in the Xiaolin Showdown universe. We then see Don exit the vehicle before racing into the vault containing the shen gong wu. The Kimiko-Bot begins running towards the vault, preparing to defend it, when Don comes out of the vault, armful of Wu in hand, and steps on her. He then looks down and sees what happened.
Don: Whoops. Hope that wasn't important. (he then quickly leaves, leading to the video file to end)
Raimundo: So that's what happened.
Clay: Well with the Wu in his possession, there's only one likely option…
We then cut to Tokyo where we see the teams standing in front of Don as he's giving instructions.
Don: We're going to the Xiaolin Showdown universe, and we'll be using the Wu to get there.
Dick Daring: Awesome!
Jude: Cool!
Jonesy: Sweet.
Don: Sweet, indeed. Well, don't just stand there, get goin'.
The teams then proceed to enter the Wu. Once they've gotten themselves situated, Don opens up a portal, allowing for the teams to enter and proceed towards the Xiaolin Showdown universe.
Don: Teams in the Silver Manta Ray are the Ninjas, Warriors, Complete Opposites, and Insane Destructors; teams on the Crouching Cougar are the Safety Patrollers, Daters, Mother & Daughter, and Married Parents; teams in the Tunnel Armadillo are the Monster Fighters, Best Friends, Weirdos, and Slackers; and teams in the Shen-Ga-Roo are Brother & Sister, the Time Travelers, Brothers, and Talon Mercenaries.
Scene switches to the Silver Manta Ray where we see the Complete Opposites relaxing and admiring the view.
Odie: Herry, this is amazing.
Herry: Yeah, an open view of the portal really shows you how beautiful it truly is.
Odie: Yep. (Archie & Atlanta then stand in front of them, prompting them to stand up)
Herry: Uh, hey guys. What's up?
Atlanta: (whispering) We know about your alliance.
Odie: (surprised) Wait, what?
Archie: It wasn't hard to figure out. Two major villain teams are in play, manipulating two young goth girls into thinking one of them is the Grim Reaper, and guest who takes up a leadership role.
Herry: Actually that wasn't the reason we formed. It was after we… (realizes what he's doing and stops himself) Revealed to the Goths that Reaper & Widowmaker. Yeah. That's it.
Atlanta: You know you're really bad at lying, Herry. (to Odie) Why'd you really form?
Odie: Okay, here's the truth. We formed when we found this. (shows Archie & Atlanta Stewie's journal)
Archie: A journal?
Odie: Yeah. It's a detailed record of every Ridonculous Race contestant, past and present.
Atlanta: Who wrote this?
Odie: Stewie Griffin.
Archie: Who's Stewie Griffin? (remembers him) Wait, the baby from the first leg of the race? (Odie nods)
Atlanta: That can't be right.
Herry: Hey, weirder things have happened.
Archie: So they're the bad guys?
Odie: Them, and Reaper & Widowmaker and Demoman & Pyro. They may be in cahoots with each other.
Herry: That's why we formed an alliance. To make sure we know when and where they'll strike.
Atlanta: How we'll we know?
Odie: We won't. See, Stewie's plan is unfinished. (shows Archie & Atlanta the book. However, Archie & Atlanta look intrigued as opposed to disappointed) What?
Atlanta: You may wanna double check the material. (Odie, confused, looks at the book and is surprised by what he sees)
Odie: What the…
We then cut to the Xiaolin Showdown universe where we see the monks and Dojo waiting anxiously for the teams' arrival.
Dojo: Oh, this is so exciting. I hope I can get everyone's autographs.
Omi: Indeed. This is a most exciting event turning since the last.
Raimundo: Is it possible you're going for turn of events? (they then see a portal open up and teams and the Wu exiting said portal)
Kimiko: They're here.
Clay: Woo-Wee! This is gonna be a good one. (the teams then exit the Wu and begin looking around)
Nikki: Cool place.
Ronnie Anne: Yeah. (rubbing the back of her neck) Yeesh, the Shen-Ga-Roo really does a number on your neck. I think I got whiplash.
We then cut to Hanzo & Genji, who are looking at the terrain with nonplussed looks.
Genji: Wait a minute, I know this place. From when we were younger. We were sent here to train.
Hanzo: Indeed. Wait, does mean that… (he then notices something offscreen. Genji, following his sightline, spots an elderly Chinese monk with a bald head, thick black eyebrows, and imperial-style facial hair. He was wearing a blue vest over a white robe with a black sash, black pants, black and white shoes, and a gold pendant)
The old monk, sensing something behind him, turns around and launches a kick at the assailant, but it's stopped by the assailant's forearm. The old monk's determined facial expression softens when he sees who it is.
Hanzo: Greetings, Master Fung. (the old monk, named Master Fung, removes his foot while Hanzo bows) It has been too long.
Master Fung: Indeed, it has Hanzo. 20 years, I believe.
Hanzo: Yes.
Master Fung: Yet I remember it as though it was yesterday. Your father sent you and your brother to my temple, claiming you two needed guidance. I was reluctant, because of your father's reputation. But I knew I couldn't turn away two boys who needed to learn humility and peace, as well as skill.
Hanzo: I learned a lot from you. As did Genji, until…
Master Fung: Yes, until that fateful day. But you mustn't continue blaming yourself for what happened. It was Chase Young who…
Hanzo: Who filled my head with doubt. Made me believe that Genji was my enemy, and that I'd remain in his shadow. But I was the one who stabbed him, and I was the one who listened to Chase Young. Now, I've been forced to carry this burden my whole life. (the monks are watching this scene from afar)
Kimiko: Whoa, does Master Fung know him?
Clay: Let's find out. (they begin approaching Master Fung & Hanzo, which gets Hanzo's attention)
Hanzo: I see you're training the next generation of Xiaolin Dragons.
Master Fung: Indeed. Hanzo, this is Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay, Dragons-In-Training.
Hanzo: (bows) Greetings.
Omi: Hi! (to Master Fung) Master Fung, you know him?
Master Fung: Yes, I do Omi. Hanzo and his brother, Genji, were two of my students from years ago. Their father sent them here, hoping they would gain some guidance. They spent several months here, managing to rise through the ranks and become Xiaolin Dragons, in the process, gaining the Twin Dragon Blades, two powerful artifacts that can harness the power of the dragon.
Raimundo: Cool. (whispering to the others) Do you think we'll get something like that when we become Xiaolin Dragons?
Kimiko: Easy there, tiger.
Master Fung: They were two of my best students, until one day… (pauses for moment)
Omi: What? What happened?
Hanzo: Chase Young happened. (the monks gasped)
Omi: Chase Young. He's a most evil adversary.
Raimundo: Yeah. That guy's a real pain in the butt. What'd he do?
Hanzo: He filled my head with poison. He made me doubt my abilities, and convinced me that my brother was the enemy, and that I'd always remain in his shadow, never able to live up to my true potential.
Master Fung: Thus, there was a fight, and… Hanzo murdered Genji. (the monks gasp)
Hanzo: Yes. Chase Young told me, and I chose to listen.
Kimiko: Okay, that's a new kind of evil, even for Chase.
Clay: That's lower than a snake's bellybutton. What he made you do to your brother almost makes Wuya and Jack Spicer look decent.
Hanzo: After what I did, I laid down my sword and picked up a new weapon. (shows Master Fung his bow) The Dragon Bow. After that, I left home and went on a journey around the world, in the hopes I'd find redemption for my actions. But my pride and my guilt mounted, and I could never find peace. Then one day, when I came to the Shimada temple, my family's home, to mourn the one I murdered, I was approached by something, or rather someone, from my past.
Omi: Indeed, you were approached by… (he's about to say something when Clay covers his mouth)
Clay: (whispering) Now don't be spoilin' anything little buddy. We want to see Master Fung's reaction.
Master Fung appears intrigued by this when he notices something on the roof of one of the temples. The figure jumps down, landing on the ground without making a sound, revealing himself to be Genji. However, Master Fung doesn't recognize him, so he gets into a fighting stance. Genji does the same, and we see them staring down at each other with intensity and focus. Then, Genji relax, and bows, much to Master Fung's confusion.
Genji: Greetings Master Fung.
Master Fung: Who are you?
Genji: You do not recognize me, master. I was sent here because my lifestyle was leading me down the wrong path, and I was hurting those I cared about. I learned guidance, patience, integrity, and harmony. However, someone I loved, whose mind had been led astray, took something from me… my life. I was soon given a second chance, revived so that I could right my wrongs. I joined an organization that helped me fight against my demons, and the demons from all over the world. After they fell, I circled the globe for years, trying to regain balance. And once I did, I went to Japan in order to make amends.
Master Fung: I feel as though I know you, but I don't know where. Who are you? (Genji slowly takes off his visor. We get a closeup of Master Fung's face when he sees Genji's eyes underneath the cybernetic mask) Genji. (zoom out so we get the "over the shoulder" perspective from Genji's POV) What have you become?
Genji: (putting his visor back on) I have accepted what I am. I have also forgiven Hanzo. And now, he's trying to forgive himself. It's good to see you again, master.
Master Fung: It's good to see you too, Genji. (smiles. Soon, another portal opens up, and we see a Dimension Car exit said portal. We then see Don exit the car, where he notices the scene)
Don: What'd I miss? (they're about to answer when Don holds up his hands in silence) Never mind. I'll look at the tapes later. Excuse me. (he then runs into the vault, where we hear a lot of loud noises, mostly involving metal clanking against metal, before he runs out of the vault with a large chest)
Theresa: What's with the chest?
Don: You'll see. But first, the challenge. For today's challenge, you'll be performing in a Xiaolin Showdown tournament.
Dakota: A what kind of tournament?
Don: A Xiaolin Showdown tournament. After all, this is the Xiaolin Showdown universe, and there are sixteen of you. Now, here's how this works. Each team will get two Shen Gong Wu each. Then, it'll be two vs. two in a Xiaolin Showdown, a wild challenge where you battle each other with your Wu. The teams that lose will have to face off in the loser bracket, while the winners move on to the next round. When it's down to the final two, whichever team loses amongst them will be eliminated, no ifs, ands, buts, or whys. Understand? (everyone nods) Good. Now, choose your weapon. (opens the chest in front of him, releasing a bright light, and revealing dozens of Shen Gong Wu, much to everyone's astonishment) Pretty cool, huh?
Dick Daring: So we can choose whichever Wu we want? (he's about to grab a Wu when Don closes the chest)
Don: Actually, no. I just wanted to say, "Choose your weapon". It's such a classic line. (smiles) Anyway, I'll give each of you two Wu. And since you tried to grab one, I'll start with you & Agent K. (begins digging through the chest) Let's see here… A-ha! Here we go. (gives the Jetbootsu to Agent K and the Ring of the Nine Dragons to Dick Daring)
Agent K: Interesting. What are they?
Don: The Jetbootsu and the Ring of the Nine Dragons. Go ahead, test them out.
Dick Daring: Okay. (puts the Ring of the Nine Dragons on his finger) Is there a manual for these?
Don: Just call out the names of the Wu and they'll activate.
Agent K: Alright. (puts the Jetbootsu on her feet) Jetbootsu! (she then begins hoving in the air before landing on a wall and running up the side before performing a backflip and landing upright next to Dick) This Wu could come in handy when I'm scaling the walls of an enemy's compound trying to sneak in.
Dick Daring: Ring of the Nine Dragons! (splits himself into nine versions of himself. They then begin acting all goofy and silly)
Agent K: What's going on?
Don: The Ring of the Nine Dragons splits the user into multiple versions of themselves, which means it also splits their personalities, their intelligence, everything. So your husband nine ways is…
Clay: Dumber than a box of nails.
Don: (to Clay) Thank you.
Dick Daring #1: Duh, what's that? (points at a wall)
Dick Daring #2: I don't know. (walks into a window. He then gasps) What is this invisible barrier?
Dick Daring #3: (falls on the ground, right when the sprinklers start) Oh no, the lawn's crying. What'd I do?
Agent K: Um, how do I…
Don: Just get them to reform.
Agent K: Right. (whistles, getting the Dick Darings' attention) Okay, um… repeat after me: Ring of the Nine Dragons.
Dick Daring #1-9: Ring of the Nine Dragons! (they all reform)
Dick Daring: Whoa, what happened?
Don: We'll explain later. For now, Ana, Pharah, you're next. (they step forward. He then gives the Black Beetle to Ana and the Ruby of Ramses to Pharah) You two have received the Black Beetle and the Ruby of Ramses.
Pharah: (to Ana) Let's see what they can do. Ruby of Ramses! (the Ruby of Ramses, which was pointed at a tree, activates, lifting the tree right out of the ground. Pharah then controls the tree's movements using the Ruby of Ramses) Levitation. Could be useful.
Ana: Black Beetle! (the Black Beetle then proceeds to turn into an armor that coats Ana's body) What does this do exactly?
Don: It coats the user in a heat resistant armor. It can actually withstand the heat of the Earth's core.
Ana: My word.
Don: Archie, Atlanta, come on over. (they come towards Don's location, excited by what Wu they'll receive) How about… these two? (gives the Fancy Feet to Archie and the Changing Chopsticks to Atlanta) I present to you the Fancy Feet and the Changing Chopsticks.
Archie: You know, these look a lot like Hermes' shoes. Um, not that I'd know what they look like. I haven't met the guy. (laughs nervously. He then clears his throat) Anyway, where was I? Fancy Feet! (he then runs at lightning speed, much to Atlanta's shock. He then stops in front of her, smiling smugly) Looks like you have some competition, Atlanta.
Atlanta: We'll see. I can't wait to see what my Wu can do. (closes her eyes) Changing Chopsticks! (a bright flash occurs. She then opens her eyes and looks at herself) Huh, nothing hap- (she then feels the earth shake) What the? (she then screams as a giant foot appears in front of her, causing her to fall over. She looks up and gasps when she sees Archie, due to the fact that he now appears to be a giant. Or, more accurately...) I've shrunk! (we zoom out to see she's smaller than the blades of grass that surround her)
Archie: (looking down and sees her, scared; loud voice) Atlanta? Is that you?
Atlanta has to cover her ears due to Archie's voice. She then runs up his body towards his ear before stopping next to it.
Atlanta: Yeah, it's me. The chopsticks shrunk me. (Archie puts his hand up to his shoulder, allowing her to walk onto it. He then transfers her from his hand to Don's shoulders, allowing her to talk into Don's ear) How do I get back to normal?
Don: (whispering, as not to injure Atlanta's ears) Just use the Changing Chopsticks again and you'll return to normal.
Atlanta: Got it. Changing Chopsticks! (turns back to normal size) Well, that was… interesting.
Don: Albeit, humorous. Bobby, Ronnie Anne, you're up. (they come to his location, where he proceeds to give the Golden Tiger Claws to Bobby and the Eye of Dashi to Ronnie Anne) You've been given the Golden Tiger Claws and the Eye of Dashi.
Ronnie Anne: Let's see what we've got. Eye of Dashi! (unleashes a bolt of lightning, which ends up destroying a wall) Whoa. That… is… awesome!
Bobby: Hopefully mine's safer. Golden Tiger Claws. (tears a hole in space, which he then goes through, he then reappears next to Ronnie Anne) Hey, instant teleportation. This could've come in handy when I went on my date with Lori and ran the Mercado at the same time.
Don: Now that's a story I wanna hear. But not right now. Cavendish, Dakota, you're up next. (they approach him. He then gives the Thorn of Thunderbolt to Cavendish and the Silk Spitter to Dakota) Presenting the Thorn of Thunderbolt and the Silk Spitter.
Cavendish: Ooo, I like the sound of that. Thorn of Thunderbolt! (shots an array of thunderbolts at a tree, setting it on fire, prompting Omi to use the Orb of Tornami) My bad.
Dakota: I wonder what the Silk Spitter does. (upon saying its name, the Wu activates, launching a spider web at Cavendish's face, prompting him to pull it off)
Cavendish: It does what its name implies.
Dakota: Cool. (realizes something) Hey, why didn't you give it to the spider lady? (points at Widowmaker)
Don: There's something that I hope happens that involves those two Wu, and I'm kind of hoping it involves you two.
Cavendish: I can't tell if that's a compliment or a threat.
Don: You'll find out. Anyway, Demoman, Pyro, come on over. (they stand next to the chest. Don then gives the Cannon Blaster to Demoman and the Zing Zom-Bone to Pyro) You two have been given the Cannon Blaster and the Zing Zom-Bone.
Demoman: Let's see. Cannon Blaster! (enters the Cannon Blaster and emerges as a human cannonball, flying into one of the walls, completely destroying it) Awesome! (tries standing up, but has to hold his head while dizzily getting to his feet) Although, not good on the head. I haven't felt this bad since my last hangover. Which was… (begins thinking back to when he was last hungover) Um… three weeks ago? Yeah, that seems about right. Anyway, what about your Wu? (Pyro yells out "Zing Zom-Bone" from under his mask, and a beam shoots out of the Wu, hitting Reaper & Widowmaker, causing them to stare at Demoman & Pyro with dead eyes) What just happened there?
Don: The Zing Zom-Bone turns targets into mindless zombies.
Demoman: Oh, now I understand. (to Pyro) Change them back. (Pyro does so, allowing them to regain their bearings and their minds)
Reaper: What just happened?
Don: Nothing important. Now, back to business. Fillmore, Ingrid, you're up next. (they come towards the chest. Don then proceeds to give the Woozy Shooter to Fillmore and the Crystal Glasses to Ingrid) I bestow upon thee the Woozy Shooter and the Crystal Glasses.
Fillmore: Alright, let's see here. Woozy Shooter! (a purple mist comes out of the Woozy Shooter, which accidentally hits the monks, causing them to act strange as psychedelic colors appear in the background)
Clay: (laughing crazily) How does this go? Typhoon Boom! (falsetto) Water.
Kimiko: (appearing from water) No you're not water. (smiles. A miniature Kimiko appears by opening one of the bigger Kimiko's teeth and opens an umbrella) I'm water. (turns into water)
Clay: (laughing crazily while running across a long tongue) You're not water. You're a girl. (we then see the long tongue to attached to Raimundo)
Raimundo: (laughs) Can anyone else touch their nose with their tongue? (touches his nose with his tongue)
Omi: (just Omi's head) Oh no, you're all goofy. (makes a strange sound as more Omi heads fill the screen) And I am goofy as well. (we then see a bunch of Omi's running into a larger Omi's mouth) Goofy and schoofy. (begins laughing)
We then cut back to the real world where we see the monks doing crazy stuff in their goofy state while everyone watches on, confused, which you can tell by the question marks above their heads.
Fillmore: Um… what's goin' on here?
Don: The Woozy Shooter releases a mist that causes people to act all weird and goofy. It's strange, but useful. (Don then pulls out a fan, blowing the mist away, allowing for the monks to return to normal) Anyway, Ingrid, you were about to see what your Wu can do.
Ingrid: Right. Crystal Glasses! (she puts on the glasses and begins seeing an image form)
We cut to her perspective where we see a beautiful wedding cake before panning over a large table where we see the adult versions of Fillmore, Jay, Theresa, Herry, Archie, & Atlanta seated. We then see Ingrid & Odie sitting in the middle of the table, with Ingrid in an elegant wedding dress and Odie in a suit & tie, kissing each other long and passionately. Ingrid then takes off the glasses and smiles.
Fillmore: So, what do those things do exactly?
Don: They allow the user to see the future.
Odie: (approaching her) Babe, what did you see?
Ingrid: I saw our future together. (kisses him on the lips) Spoiler alert, it ends beautifully
Odie: I like the sound of that. (kisses her once more before going back to Herry)
Don: Well, that's nice. Okay. Stan, Ford, come up. (they approach Don. He then gives the Eagle Scope to Stan and the Fountain of Hui to Ford) I give to you the Eagle Scope and the Fountain of Hui. Sister Wu.
Stan: Sister Wu?
Don: Indeed. Now, separate, they allow for the user to see things with the eyesight of an eagle and gives the user boundless and random knowledge, respectively.
Stan: Eyesight of an eagle, huh? Eagle Scope. (looks through the Eagle Scope for… personal reasons) Hello, baby.
Ford: (takes the Eagle Scope away from him) Hey, keep it in your pants, Stan. This is a competition, not a peep show.
Star: What's wrong with looking at chicks? (everyone looks at her with nonplussed expressions) What? Is there something wrong with looking at baby chicks? Are they too cute?
Marco: Oh, that's what you meant. Um, Star, just to let you know, they weren't talking about chickens. (Star looks confused)
Don: Marco can explain it to you when you're older.
Marco: What?
Don: Now, back to what I was saying. When the Eagle Scope and the Fountain of Hui are combined together, they can combine together to unlock the greatest secrets of the universe.
Ford: Really? (Don nods) One moment. Fountain of Hui! Eagle Scope! (combines the two together, resulting in a fountain of wealth and knowledge for him & Stan. We then see them writing stuff down while inside the Fountain, before deactivating the Wu)
Don: What was that all about?
Ford: We were just writing down a few unanswered questions.
Stan: Including, but not limited to, the Meaning of Life; Is there an Afterlife?; the Roswell Incident; the JFK Assassination; and the ones responsible for the deaths of Tupac and Biggie.
Don: Wow, those are some major questions.
Ford: We also wrote down the ones responsible for the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum Heist. Two thieves named… Christopher Irons, aka the Cobra, and his partner, Kamala Smith, aka the Scorpion.
Stan: The Cobra and the Scorpion?! They're the ones who robbed the museum?! TOGETHER?!
Ford: Yeah. Who are they?
Stan: (sputtering) You don't know them?! (Ford gives him a deadpanned look) Oh, right, you were in an alternate dimension. (clears his throat) Those two were the greatest thieves and con artists that ever lived. They stole millions, they each bankrupted an entire dictatorship, they pulled off numerous heists of some of the worlds most priceless artifacts… they're legends. I actually heard they left the picture over 30 years ago. Now I know why. I just don't understand why they worked together. I don't remember them ever working together until that point. I wonder what the story is behind that event?
Don: (looks worried) Um, well, I guess we'll never know the full extent of what happened that night. (gives a fake laugh, causing everyone to gain looks of curiosity. Don then tries changing the subject) Anyway, who's next? Um… (his eyes land on the Ninjas) Right, Hanzo & Genji. Step forward, please. (they do so. Don then gives the Shard of Lightning to Hanzo and the Sword of the Storm to Genji) Presenting the Sword of the Storm and the Shard of Lightning.
Genji: But I already have a sword.
Don: Yes, but to make things fair, you can't use your weapons.
Hanzo: Understandable. Shard of Lightning. (disappears in the blink of an eye before reappearing just as quickly)
We then hear a splash and see Reaper & Widowmaker with buckets on their heads, drenched in water, prompting a laugh from the other contestants.
Don: (while laughing) The Shard of Lightning allows the user to travel at the speed of lightning. Great for pranks and thefts, among other things. Your turn, Genji.
Genji: Sword of the Storm! (spins the sword, which captures a powerful wind gust, which he sends flying towards some practice dummies, blowing them away) Very impressive. And nice design as well.
Don: Indeed. Okay, Herry & Odie, come forward. (they come forward. Don then presents Herry with the Fist of Tebigong and Odie with the Mikado Arms) Presenting the Fist of Tebigong and Mikado Arms.
Herry: Nice. (places the Fist of Tebigong onto his hand) Fist of Tebigong! (punches the ground, creating a massive crater, destroying one of the temples) Whoops, that one's on me. I'll take that one.
Don: (pinching the bridge of his nose; under his breathe) That's gonna be a pretty penny out of my pocket. (normal voice) Anyway, Odie, show us what your Wu can do.
Odie: Okay. Mikado Arms! (the Wu activates, turning Odie's arms big and muscular) Whoa. Okay, now this is pretty cool. (lifts up an entire building with only one hand. He then spins it around like a basketball on one finger)
Ingrid: Talk about skill, stud. (she laughs, as does Odie. He then sets down the temple before flexing)
Odie: Not bad, huh. (he then deactivates the Mikado Arms, turning his arms back to normal)
Don: Well done. Next up, Jay & Theresa. (they approach the chest. Don then gives the Glove of Jisaku to Jay and the Shroud of Shadows to Theresa) I give you the Glove of Jisaku and the Shroud of Shadows.
Jay: Let's see here. Glove of Jisaku! (a magnet springs out of the Wu, causing all the Wu in the vicinity to attract towards the Glove of Jisaku)
Don: In case you haven't figured it out, it attracts all other Wu to your location.
Theresa: Nice. Let's see what mine can do. Shroud of Shadows. (places it on her body, causing everything but her head to disappear) Whoa. That's a little freaky.
Odie: Well this bears a striking resemblance.
Don: Indeed. The Shroud of Shadows allows for the user to hide in plain sight. (Theresa removes the Shroud of Shadows from her body) Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, Jen & Nikki, come on up and claim your Wu. (Jen & Nikki walk over to the chest. Don then proceeds to give the Lotus Twister to Jen and the Tangle Web Comb to Nikki) Here is the Lotus Twister and the Tangle Web Comb.
Nikki: Alright, let's see. Tangle Web Comb! (accidentally targets Jonesy, causing him to get tangled and trapped in a large web, causing him to fall over; laughing) Sorry! So sorry. (some of the other contestants join in as well)
Jonesy: Oh come on! That's not funny!
Jude: I don't know, dude. I like it. (continues laughing)
Nikki then deactivates the Tangle Web Comb, freeing Jonesy. Jen regains her bearings and proceeds to activate her Wu.
Jen: Lotus Twister! (the Lotus Twister wraps around her arm) So now what?
Don: Hold on. (grabs the Mikado Arms from Odie) Mikado Arms! (gains huge, muscular arms, and throws a boulder towards Jen)
Jen screams, but dodges the attack by stretching her body into an arch position, resulting in the boulder lodging itself into a temple wall. Jen, realizing she's not dead, sees what happened.
Jen: Whoa. (turns back to normal. She then stretches her leg out towards Nikki's location, allowing for her to come over to Nikki's location from where she's standing) Okay, this is pretty cool.
Nikki: That looks painful.
Jen: Actually… (stretches her arm behind her back and underneath her other arm before raising her hand to give a high five) I don't felt a thing.
Nikki: (high fives Jen) Nice.
Don: (giving the Mikado Arms back to Odie) Nice indeed. Next up, Jonesy & Jude. (the duo comes to his location. He then gives the Monkey Staff to Jonesy and the Mantis Flip Coin to Jude) You've been given the Monkey Staff and the Mantis Flip Coin.
Jonesy: The Monkey Staff? (the Monkey Staff activates, turning Jonesy into a monkey) What the- (screechs like a monkey) Aw come on, man! Did you give me this to me simply for your own amusement?
Don: Yes… as well as the amusement of your fellow competitors. (Jonesy notices some of the other contestants snickering)
Jen: Sorry.
Jonesy: What is this? "Make fun of Jonesy day?"
Nikki: I wish. (continues snickering, while Jonesy looks annoyed)
Jude: Let's see what I can do. Mantis Flip Coin! (flips the coin before grabbing it. He then jumps, resulting in him jumping high into the air) Yahoo! (he then comes down in a perfect landing) Awesome!
Don: Yeah, that looked pretty bad***. Now, Jonny 2x4 & Rolf, you've up next. (Jonny 2x4 & Rolf come up to the chest. Don then proceeds to give the Mind Reader Conch to Jonny 2x4 and the Wushu Helmet to Rolf) Here's the Mind Reader Conch and the Wushu Helmet.
Jonny 2x4: What's that Plank? (Jonny 2x4 listens to Plank, much to everyone's confusion) Well look at you, Mr. Smarty Pants. Plank says, "The Mind Reader Conch allows the user to read the thoughts of those in range, and the Wushu Helmet protects the users head by deflecting attacks and projectiles".
Rolf: Well, that's quite useful in a most dangerous battle.
Jonny 2x4: I'll say. Thanks for the heads up, buddy.
Kimiko: (to Jonny 2x4, secretly) You're talking to a piece of wood.
Jonny 2x4: What's your point, weirdo? (Kimiko, nonplussed, walks back towards the other)
Omi: It appears as though the boy with the abnormally large head doesn't appear to be playing with a deck of cards that have been properly counted.
Kimiko: That's, "Playing with a full deck."
Don: Next up, Reaper & Widowmaker. (they approach him. He then gives them the Shadow Slicer and the Reversing Mirror) You've received the Shadow Slicer and the Reversing Mirror.
Reaper: Well, both of those sound… dangerous. Shadow Slicer! (a beam shines on him, creating several illusions of him) Ooo, I like this.
Stan: Okay, that's pretty creepy.
Widowmaker: Um, what does this one do?
Don: The Reversing Mirror can reverse the effects of any Wu. It's probably better I told you anyway. We've caused enough property damage as it is.
Clay: Um, actually the fire damage was my fault.
Don: Oh, okay. Thank you for that. And lastly, Star & Marco. (Star & Marco come over, with Star looking particularly excited. Don then proceeds to give them the Star Hanabi and the Two-Ton Tunic) Here's the Star Hanabi and the Two-Ton Tunic.
Marco: Let's see here. Two-Ton Tunic! (the Shen Gong Wu activates, turning into an actually Two-Ton Tunic. Marco has trouble bearing the weight causing him to fall over) Deactivate! Deactivate! Um… Two-Ton Tunic! (the Wu deactivates, allowing for him to stand) That's heavy.
Don: But durable. Star.
Star: Ooo, I like this Wu. It's a star, and called star, like me! Yeah!
Marco: (realizing what she's about to do) Oh no.
Star: Star Hanabi! (releases a giant fireball, which scorches the entire area, as well as the teams, the monks, and Don. Only Master Fung avoided getting scorched) Oops.
Don: (wiping the soot off his person; pulls out a tape recorder) Note to self: Steer clear of Star when she's in possession of fire, water, electricity, or anything else that could endanger a person's well-being. (turns back towards the teams) Well, we've finished up giving all of you a Shen Gong Wu. Now, on with the challenge. Everyone ready? (they all nod) Good. Now, to start things off, I'm going to place eight Shen Gong Wu on the ground. Two teams must grab one, thus causing the Wu to light up. When it lights up, you may begin the Xiaolin Showdown tournament. (places the Sapphire Dragon, Golden Finger, Tongue of Saiping, Wushan Geyser, Ying Yo-Yo, Yang Yo-Yo, Third-Arm Sash, and Emperor Scorpion on the ground)
Omi: (whispering to Master Fung) Are you alright with them doing this, Master Fung?
Master Fung: So long as they aren't using the Shen Gong Wu for evil, it's fine. Plus, I'm kind of excited to see what happens.
Don: Alright everyone…. Begin! (everyone races towards the Wu, with two teams grabbing one Wu each)
Mother & Daughter and the Monster Fighters catch the Emperor Scorpion; the Best Friends and Brother & Sister catch the Sapphire Dragon; the Weirdos and the Talon Mercenaries catch the Golden Finger; the Married Parents and the Warriors catch the Third-Arm Sash; the Safety Patrollers and the Complete Opposites catch the Wushan Geyser; the Slackers and the Time Travelers catch the Tongue of Saiping; the Insane Destructors and the Ninjas catch the Yang Yo-Yo; and the Daters and the Brothers catch the Ying Yo-Yo. We then cut between the teams as they're announcing the challenge.
Marco: Ana & Pharah, we challenge you…
Ronnie Anne: To a Xiaolin Showdown.
Jonny 2x4: We wager our Wushu Helmet and Mind Reader Conch…
Agent K: Against your Fancy Feet and Changing Chopsticks.
Fillmore: The game is an epic…
Jonesy: Xiaolin Showdown Tournament!
Hanzo: Back-to-back battles; team against team.
Ford: And the last team standing in the elimination bracket will be eliminated.
Everyone: Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!
Scene switches to a laboratory of sorts where we see a pale boy with spiky red hair and black eye shadow is building something. He's wearing a black robe, googles on his forehead, and mechanical boots. He then gets a message on his computer.
Computer: Jack Spicer, you have evil mail.
Jack Spicer: I do? Huh, I wonder who its from? (checks it)
To Mr. Spicer,
I just wanted to inform you that the teams from The Ridonculous Race: Cartoon Crossover have arrived in this universe and are currently at the Xiaolin Temple, competing in a Xiaolin Showdown Tournament.
Jack Spicer: Oh my goodness! They're here! Oh this is so exciting! Oh there's more!
Please inform your colleagues and let them know of the situation. They'll understand.
Sincerely,
Anonymous
Jack Spicer: Ooo, I gotta tell Chase and Wuya. (he quickly leaves)
We then cut to a mountain layer carved into the shape of a skull where we see Jack Spicer arrive. He then presses on a secret button opening up the stone wall, which crushes him. We then cut to the lavish interior, which consists of pillars and waterways, where we see two people in the center. One was a young male with long black hair, pale skin, and reptilian-looking eyes. He was wearing green-gold suit of armor over his whole body. The other was an older female with long red hair going down her back and purple eyes. She was wearing a black robe with a red sash and purple highlights on the sleeves. They're intrigued upon seeing Jack approaching them.
Jack Spicer: Chase, Wuya, I- Whoa! (trips on the last step and falls flat on his face)
Chase Young: What do you want, worm?
Jack Spicer: I just wanted to give you a message. (gives Chase Young the message. Upon reading it, Chase smiles)
Chase Young: Well now, you have my attention.
Wuya: Indeed. You actually have useful information for us. It's so unlike you, Jack. I'm impressed.
Chase Young: As am I. And I'm rarely impressed.
Jack Spicer: (smiling wide) Oh thank you! (begins hugging Chase tightly, much to Chase's annoyance)
Chase Young: Three second rule. (pries Jack off him)
Wuya: So, what should we do?
Chase Young: We'll watch the tournament from afar, and when we get a sense of what's going on, we'll make our move.
Wuya: Ooo, I like it.
Jack Spicer: Uh, yeah, me too. But why don't we attack now?
Wuya: What, we charge in there without a plan and no Wu, while they have all the Wu and they're all joined in one location? We'd be a good as toast.
Jack Spicer: Good point.
Chase Young: Indeed. Just be patient. Because soon, we'll be ready to eliminate the competition. Permanently. (the screen fades to black, and all we see are Chase Young's eyes, before those disappear as well)
To Be Continued
Ruh-roh. Rat's rot rood. (laughs) That's my Scooby-Doo impression, hoped you liked it. And I hoped you liked this chapter. It took me all night to write, but I got it done. And in record time as well. Now, I decided to go to the Xiaolin Showdown universe simply because I thought it was a humorous show with some creative battles and Shen Gong Wu, even if Omi's ego did leave a sour taste in my mouth. However, this two-parter will not include Omi's ego, and instead include Omi's horrible attempts at slang. Speaking of which, I know this episode didn't feature much, but that's because I'm setting myself up for the next chapter, which'll have a lot more action, and begin the Xiaolin Showdowns. Now, just be aware, I have something major planned for Chase, Wuya, and Jack, and it's gonna be big. Also, I'm not including Hannibal Bean because I hate that guy. He's so annoying, and just felt like an afterthought rather than a legitimate villain. In which case, this takes place in a timeline in which he remains trapped in the Ying-Yang World, and I'm keeping it that way. And as always, thanks for reading, and I'll see you all next time. This is ZNBT signing off.
Placements
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17th: Penn & Sashi [Part-Time Heroes – Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero]
18th: Dudley & Kitty [T.U.F.F. Agents – T.U.F.F. Agents]
19th: Bart & Homer [Father & Son – The Simpsons]
20th: Haiku & Lucy [Goths – The Loud House]
21st: Caitlin & Wyatt [Kindhearted Teenagers – 6teen]
22nd: Dipper & Mabel [Twins – Gravity Falls]
23rd: GIR & Zim [Irken Soldiers – Invader Zim]
24th: Brian & Stewie [Frenemies – Family Guy]