The Diego Diaries: HONK! HONK! (dd8 23)
=0=In a padded room …
He came to sentience after a few joors, then sat up on the berth. Glancing around, nodding to the oddballs who were there apparently waiting for him, Ratchet swung his legs over the side of the berth. Before him was an array of incredibly fat little seals looking up at him like he was their mother. A tall giraffe with light bulbs in place of his horns and a polar bear wearing a monocle nodded to him. He grinned. "Well, doesn't this beat all."
"Are you hungry or do you just want to rest?" the polar bear asked.
"Hungry," Ratchet replied.
The polar bear reached into a pocket and pulled out a big corn dog. "Here," he said as he handed it to Ratchet.
Ratchet took it, thanked him and began to eat it.
=0=Security monitor station nearby …
"What's he doing?"
"I think he's eating a corn dog."
[Silence]
"That sounds good."
One of the two orderlies pulled up the menu from downstairs, checked it, then rose. "They have them. Want one?"
"I want three. With everything," the other orderly said with a grin.
He would get it.
=0=Morning in a mental facility examination room …
He sat on the med berth as the doctors did their checks and measures. Rung was watching him with intensity as the examination finally came to a close. The doctor, Powell, turned to Rung. "Its syncing well and looks good. All of it looks good." He gathered up his stuff and staff, then stepped aside for Rung.
Ratchet grinned at him, then stared at the floor worrying about the fat seals that the others didn't appear to see there. They were looking up at him with their sweet adoring faces as they blorped on their bellies to bounce out of the way. To Ratchet, they were the shit.
Thicc bois were.
Rung stared at Ratchet, then stepped closer. "What do you see around you, Ratchet?"
"I see you. The floor and walls. The stuff around, medical and such," Ratchet replied.
"Do you see anything that looks fantastical, that might not be there on an ordinary orn? You know … fantasy figures, animals and the like?" he asked as he scrutinized Ratchet with his big round optics.
Ratchet looked at the array of strangeness around him, then Rung. "Nope."
Rung considered Ratchet, then glanced at the door. "I'm letting you go but I'm going to be calling around. If you see anything weird you have to be coherent enough to say so. Are you?"
Ratchet considered the soft optics of a small bunny looking up at him, one who was velveteen in texture and color. "I will."
"Okay. For now then," Rung said as he walked to the door and held it open.
Ratchet hopped down and without giving too much away walked out the door, down the corridor and out to the street. In his mind, he was being trailed by a lot of bouncing and interesting creatures.
The walk to Ops Center was colorful and swift as Ratchet maneuvered himself through the crowd of walking turkey legs and cars with cartoon faces that smiled at him as they drove past. He didn't feel that he lied to Rung. He was just enjoying what he knew were fantastical illusions all around him that were amusing, if not dangerous. He'd hallucinated enough on more occasions than he wanted to remember and none of them were this cute. The seals bouncing along on their fat blubber bellies were worth the 'deception' alone. He entered, then walked to the command table where he took a seat. He smiled brilliantly. "Hi, ya, Prowler."
Prowl who watched him come his way stared at him with amusement and wariness. "Who else just came into this place with you?"
"Oh, you mean the zoo behind me? All of them," Ratchet said with a smile.
Prowl who wasn't sure if Ratchet was lying or joking sat back to study him. "What if I throw this pad on the floor anywhere around you. Would I hit anything or anyone?"
Ratchet considered the bunnies, turtles with big eyeglasses, a couple of polka dotted cyber foxes carrying handbags that looked out of place among the human varieties all around him, then Prowl. "Nope."
"Ironhide has the command of the new base, Polity's old one. He was ambushed by his elders and me." Prowl grinned. "You were humping a pole at the time. I'm sure it doesn't ring a bell."
Ratchet snorted, then laughed loudly. "Pole dancing, was I?"
"No, actually," Prowl said with a smirk. "It was something much less appetizing than that."
"Well, I do try," Ratchet said, then glanced over his shoulder. "Right, boys and girls?"
A blizzard of animals replied including a number of butterflies who bore Autobrands on their wings. It took all Ratchet had not to hold out his servo for them to land. He glanced at Prowl with a big grin. "Just joking."
"I would that you were, Loon," Prowl replied. "Go to Fort Borderlands, find Ironhide, let him know that nothing's changed … you're still crazy to the bone, then get back here. Optimus and I have an appointment with destiny on Alternative Cybertron with their first Festival. You can take the orn off and sober up or whatever this is."
Ratchet smiled a dazzler. "Break a leg, Prowler." He rose, then swished out with his colorful entourage that only he could see.
Prowl watched him go, then grinned. "Loon." He went back to his job.
The Lady of Mars who was watching the animals with delight decided to follow Ratchet to the new base out in the Bootes. She vanished almost immediately.
=0=Elsewhere
They worked all night long going over the plan for the base, its millions of decisions for its structure and composition as well as all of the supplying, ordering, arranging, deciding and delegating that such a thing required. This was a big base so it would be one for the Autobots.
When Ratchet breezed in Ironhide was sitting at the command table running three different operations all of which were armory related. He glanced up. "Ratchet. Are you normal or is that too much to ask?"
Ratchet snickered, then sat across from him. "Don't tell anyone but I have a zoo behind me."
"In your aft or behind you?" Ironhide asked.
Ratchet smiled. "Frag you, Ironhide. So … you're the big slagger here. Does this mean we move here?"
"Nope. No school or we would, though I'm keeping Halo." He pulled her out of his hold. "She can bivouac here and you can have visitation."
Ratchet sat back even as he began to receive legal advice on child custody from a pair of tall furry rats. It would be amusing.
The old lady would think so, too.
=0=There
"We have to go tonight around 2200 joors. We're going to the private landing pad behind their Simfur Residence and from there we're going to walk to the Temple." Prowl glanced at Optimus. "They said security would be enough and they anticipated all of the possibilities. I was advised that the presence of both of us was thoroughly announced by Megatronus himself so that no one should be surprised."
"Does anyone know their initial reaction?" Optimus asked.
Prowl sat back as he stirred his 'coffee'. "Its been mixed with the emphasis on those who understand and appreciate that we're helping them accounting for most of it so far. Bridge tech is very popular there and everyone knows it came from us … from you."
Optimus nodded. "I hope this helps ease the gap that probably still exists. Its hard to change processors. Forgiveness is a process and some never cross that bridge but I hope it helps."
Prowl agreed. "Loon came in. I think he has an invisible band playing loony toons behind him. He didn't own up to it but I know him and he's still hallucinating."
"Rung would not have allowed him to go if he was," Optimus said.
"Loon is a loon. I do believe he fooled Rung and he's out gallivanting all over the Empire with his special brand of insane," Prowl said with a grin. "There's a silver lining in all of it though."
"And that would be?" Prime asked with a slight grin.
"All of those kids are now mine."
Optimus would laugh a long time.
Prowl was only half kidding.
=0=Elsewhere
The Empress embraced her son, one missing since the Diaspora began. There would be a huge party when the entire group was rescued. Right now, they would have a small personal get together of family including his brothers and sister. They sat in the living room of her home catching up, then hearing of the plight of all their people and millions more. Twenty million of their people needed rescue. The efforts over everyone would be put to the test now.
She made a mental note to sit down with Prime and figure out how to do this. Several hundred thousand of the refugees were from Stanix and there were queens there that were powerful and elderly, her comrades of legions of time. They would have to be saved.
Until then, the food and drink were plentiful as she sat at the table with her long lost son telling tales and hearing more. It would be a glorious afternoon for everyone. The Empress would be getting a handful of new grandchildren when everyone finally came.
=0=Hospital
Drift sat on a chair beside the berth where a put out Springer was lying. He had two servos replaced and they were 'setting'. Right now, the discharge he wanted wasn't coming. They would do this right once and then he could go. In the meantime, Hercy and Kup were taking on the Watch. "You need something?"
"What?" Springer asked as he stared at the heavily wrapped servos on his wrists. "I can't feed myself. This is fragged."
Drift stared at the bandages that were thermal in nature which would help the protoform that was damaged by the resultant stomping to grow. He would spend another night to make sure it had the time it needed to retake around the alien structures of his new servos. "I can help you. How about corn dogs?"
"Corn dogs?" Springer asked.
"Two orderlies told me that Ada was eating corn dogs last night when he came out of sedation," Drift replied.
"And?" Springer asked.
"He didn't have any corn dogs when he was eating."
Both of them stared at each other, then grinned.
"Ada is a wreck. He's the best worst influence going," Springer said as he relaxed a bit on his bunk.
"He is," Drift said. "Did I tell you that they made a serial novelization of me and Ada? They're chasing some kind of rock aliens or something. I haven't seen it but I have it on order for the collection from The Book Box."
"Sounds intriguing. What's the deal? Is he your mentor or mama or what?" Springer asked with a grin.
"No, actually," Drift began. "He comes to rescue me because I'm overdoing saving aliens from the 'Cons and haven't had a tune up in a time. We go through about four books of adventures, then fall in love."
Springer glanced up with surprise. "You do?"
Drift snickered, then nodded. "We stay together until Ratchet dies of natural causes. Its really very touching."
Springer grinned. "Better not show him. He might get ideas."
"Well, after hearing that he humped a pillar on the deck of Tennyson in front of everyone, it might be fun."
They both laughed long and loud, then had corn dogs together.
=0=TBC 11-24-2020 12-08-2020
ESL: 'put out' is slang for being out of sorts, irritated or angry.
blorping: the word that comes to mind when I see a fat seal bouncing along. Check out U tube for videos. SO CUTE. Especially the ones where a person gently pushes against their nose and they pull back into their body losing their neck up to their face. BWAHAHAHA! I love seals.