A/N: Thank for the advice! I wasn't going to reintroduce Qui-Gon till a couple years later, but since I still need to fill in the gaps of the next episode in Obi-Wan's life, this give me a good excuse and stall a bit. Besides, probably other people are wondering too, how Qui-Gon felt about seeing Obi-Wan up there with Xanatos five months ago. Than I shall dedicate this chapter to Jinn and the Jedi Order!
Chapter 10
Up, down, and back up again
"Why?"
The single word echoed throughout the bedroom, sinking into the dark. Qui-Gon laid flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. It was five months to the day when he last saw Obi-Wan Kenobi and Xanatos…together. No matter how he tried, the image of the two shaking hands was present every time he dreamed, every time he saw two strangers shake hands, every time he walked past Obi-Wan's old room or the training chamber, anywhere he saw the boy during his time in the temple.
Rolling onto his side, the Jedi Master slowly sat on the edge of the bed. Since coming back from that mission, he started to feel his age. After Xanatos fell to the Dark Side, he felt lost, without hope and pain. But, talking and working along side Obi-Wan for the brief time aboard the Monument, he felt his old self return. For the first time, he had felt hope and a sense that finally life would bless him for all his pains. And it was Obi-Wan that had provided that sense of life, that brightness. And he was a fool not to see it, a fool to turn down the boy and leave him ripe for the picking. Xanatos must have sensed such brightness in the boy. Why didn't he sense Xanatos' intentions when his former padawan was asking questions pertaining to Obi-Wan? Why?
Leaning over, his elbows propped on his knees and laying his face in his palms, tears slide down the Jedi Master's face. Kenobi and him never had the chance to initiate a training bond, but a bond did form. A bond that was so pure and natural that it had scared him…scared him to the point that he pushed the boy away from him. He didn't want another padawan to betray him, didn't want to live in paranoia. But, still the boy was persistent and in the end proved that he was suppose to be a Jedi and nothing else. However, when Qui-Gon finally came to his senses and was on his way to get Obi-Wan, the child turned to Xanatos.
A groan that sounded more like a weep leaked through Qui-Gon's hands. At first, the Jedi Master was upset, angry at how easily and fast the boy joined the other side. Maybe he was right in not taking Obi-Wan as his padawan, then he wouldn't need to feel personally responsible for the child falling. Like Xanatos said, the boy was out of the Jedi's custody. But the moment he had returned and made his report to the council, he walked past Obi-Wan's former room and paused. The stoic Jedi cracked. Since that day, Qui-Gon roamed the halls, making sure no padawans were causing trouble since he was now on 'vacation leave' and locked himself in his room, only then allowing the tears and grief to flood the apartment but never seep past his apartment walls.
How could a boy he hardly knew, cause such a reaction? He never felt such despair. Not even when Xanatos turned did he feel depression tugging at every fiber of his soul. It was as if he lost a part of himself, a path that he could have walked, a future that he would have been proud of.
"Why?"
A soft knock on the door pulled the Jedi Master out of his destructive train of thought. Walking like a ghost to the door, Qui-Gon opened the door, revealing figure of Jedi Master Mace Windu.
"Come on Jinn, you need to cheer up."
"Is this why you are here? Well, you're failing."
Mace narrowed his eyes, grabbed Qui-Gon's upper arm and yanked the Jedi out into the hall. Using the Force, the dark-skinned master closed the door and lead Qui-Gon down the hall. After a few minutes of struggling to break free from Windu's grasp, Qui-Gon sighed and fell into step with his old friend. Looking quickly at him, Qui-Gon noticed the same pain present within those dark eyes. The Council was shocked when Qui-Gon had told them that Obi-Wan had joined Xanatos, but it seemed only Mace, Yoda and himself were struck the hardest.
"He was one of them wasn't he? And since the Jedi abandoned him, he had nowhere else to turn to except to his own kind," asked Qui-Gon, his voice barely audible.
Mace stopped, staring at the ground. Qui-Gon paused and turned a few steps ahead to face Mace. "Yes. But…this is different. Kenobi's presence is still present." Raising his eyes, the Council member stared deep into dull light blue eyes and started to walk again, "You know of what I speak."
Qui-Gon nodded and followed quietly. With Xanatos' fall, the bond had been shattered becoming a cold void. Even Yoda had felt the negative change. But somehow, the bond he shared with Obi-Wan was still present, just shrouded in shadow, existing on a different level. And that was why the pain was even worse; he could feel anger, fear, and content seep through the bond once in awhile.
"We're here."
Qui-Gon looked up, eyes widen in shock as he took a step back. The pair had stopped in front of the black door, the door that had haunted his dreams. Glaring at Mace, Qui-Gon tried to hide his disgust, "Why?"
"We're waiting. Master Yoda thinks that Obi-Wan will come back and try to access this room because it holds information regarding his kind."
Qui-Gon could hear the sadness at the word 'kind'. He also knew the actions that would occur if Obi-Wan was to ever return. "Mace you really don't think, Obi-Wan would turn his back to the Jedi, do you? I've seen the boy in action; he's fiercely loyal to us. You sense it in the Force, we shouldn't give up on him!"
Mace shifted, his head staring down the dark hall. "It has only been five months, Qui-Gon. Yes, the boy would still be loyal. But think, five years from now, fifteen years under Xanatos' influence, do you think the boy will still remain in the light, will still side with the Jedi?"
"Yes." But Qui-Gon did not say that out loud, only continued to stare at the door.
"Look, I have to go—"
"Is this your way of cheering me up, Mace? Showing me this?" Qui-Gon waves his hand in front of him to encompass the door.
"Master Yoda said that he felt you needed to be down here tonight. I don't know why, and you know how helpless it is to ask questions," stated Windu matter-of-factly.
Qui-Gon's brow narrowed. Mace sighed, turned around, and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder then made his way back up to the bright levels of the Temple. The Jedi Master alone in the darkness leaned against the wall and sagged down onto the floor. Staring back at the door, the Jedi retraced every detail of the door into his mind. Why he didn't leave, he would never know. But the Force told him to stay and stay he did.
Eyes drooping down, Qui-Gon shook himself awake. Looking down at his watch, the man realized he had stayed down there for about three hours and it was past midnight. Getting up slowly, the blood returning to his legs, Qui-Gon glanced back at the door and then down the darker end of the corridor hoping to see Obi-Wan running towards him and telling that he was sorry for joining Xanatos. He would tell the boy that he himself was sorry for being such an idiot and ask him to be his apprentice. But all that stared back at him was the darkness.
Shoulders sagging, Qui-Gon turned and took a step forward and paused when his boot his soft grass. A gasp escaped his lips, as he looked around himself. The Jedi was no longer standing in an abandoned hall but in a grass oval somewhere in a garden with a dark, clear blue night sky glittering with stars.
"It worked. I guess I performed the incantations right, on the first try. Lucky me."
Qui-Gon peered over his shoulder and saw Obi-Wan perched on the edge of stone statue of some myth creature, his bare feet swinging in the air. The elder man studied the boy in front of him. From the looks of it, Obi-Wan seemed to be healthy. It was easy to see that the boy still did his exercises and maybe even increased his training for his body seemed more lithe. The tanned skin shone softly in the pale moonlight under the thin tunic that served as a sleeping garment. His hair was a little longer now, dangling over his ears a little, the spiky look of a Jedi trainee gone. A warm smile lit Obi-Wan's face, his dark blue/green eyes showing his happiness at being able to contact the Jedi Master from across vast distances.
"How? Am I?"
"No. You're still back at the Temple and I don't know how long I can hold this illusion up. But I could sense that you were distressed about me," Obi-Wan answered in a tone of calmness. He almost sounded like an adult consoling a scared child.
Qui-Gon took a step towards the boy. "Obi-Wan, come back to the Temple. I'll talk to the Council to make you my Padawan. Please, Obi-Wan, don't stay with Xanatos."
Obi-Wan smiled sadly, and jumped down onto the ground, "I made a deal, Master Jinn. I'm staying with Xanatos till I am ready…till the Jedi are ready for my return. So, please, don't wait for me and wallow in despair. I'm happy with my life now. And so must you, because you have to be strong for him."
Qui-Gon narrowed his eyes, "Strong? For who?"
But the scene started to fade. Obi-Wan glanced back and forth. Squeezing his eyes shut, the boy tried to hold onto the thread, but it was slipping fast from his grip. Qui-Gon rushed at Obi-Wan and hugged him.
"Kenobi is only a boy! He shouldn't be using this much power on his body! It could kill him!" screamed Qui-Gon in his mind.
Obi-Wan laughed softly, "It's ok, Master Jinn. My body just needs to get use to this new power. But promise me that you'll get stronger, become your old self again…for his sake. Please."
With that said, the scene faded to black. Qui-Gon awoke with a start, his eyes snapping wide open to be greeted by the black door in front of him. He was still sitting on the floor. Glancing down at his watch, it was now one in the morning. Getting up, Qui-Gon dusted himself off, his mind still comprehending the experience. This must have been what Master Yoda had sensed or foreseen, the way to cheer up his former Padawan.
"It must have been a dream…but still," muttered the Jedi to himself, "it felt so real. Obi-Wan, your powers allowed you to visit me in my dreams, didn't they?"
The Force seemed to shine a little brighter as if answering Qui-Gon's question. Warmth spread throughout his body, dissolving the despair that was once eating his soul. Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon focused on the small, natural bond that had existed between him and Obi-Wan. It was now closed, but the void was not the coldness that surrounded Xanatos' void. It was filled with a serenity that existed when both the Master and Padawan cut off the training bond at the Knighting ceremony.
Walking to the door, Qui-Gon placed his hand on it for the first time. The door was warm under his touch, as if anticipating the day when it would finally be open. In that instance, Qui-Gon knew that despite what Mace said and whatever Master Yoda was pondering, he would make sure that Obi-Wan would be allowed to open the door. The boy was already proving that he might be a Saterin, but he wouldn't confirm the dark stereotype like Xanatos had done. No, the boy would prove the Council and the Jedi wrong. And he would make sure none of them would try and kill the child.
"I promise, Obi-Wan. I promise to be strong and train this person you speak of with all my heart and soul. He'll be the apprentice that you would have been," sore Qui-Gon to the door.
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Light years away, staring up at the night sky, hearing Qui-Gon's promise as the Maser was right next to him, Obi-Wan laid on the grass a smile on his face before sweet sleep gently embraced his exhausted body into the lulling melody of the Force.
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A/N: A tearjerker, angst chapter, I know. Poor Qui-Gon! But, he's back up on his feet and now everyone can go on with their lives. Till next time, take care!