28. Final
I'm not going to tell you to go on without me, or not to be sad, or any of that bollocks I'm sure people have been telling you for months. I hope you are sad if I'm dead when you get this. I hope you do cry, and that you're angry but – I want (wanted? It's a little difficult to talk about myself as if I'm dead when I'm not yet. I'm sure you can imagine) you to move on eventually. Not tomorrow, not the day after but, someday. Name your first kid after me, OK?
I wrote to everyone, you know. I don't really have a will, but everyone knows what I wanted them to have once I'm gone. I want you to have my Invisibility Cloak, I thought of giving it to the twins, but I think they'd be far too much of a risk with it. You can get up to plenty of mischief, I'd think, but maybe a little more restrained than they would be. Besides, you've still got a couple years at school; time enough to make good use of it. The Fat Lady's been in on it, maybe since my dad was at school, she'll let you in no matter the time of night. I'm leaving Ron the map, but he's to give it to you once he's left Hogwarts, just so you know. Give it to Ron and Hermione's kids after that, if you could? I'd really appreciate it. It's far too good of a thing to go completely out of use.
I left your mum my photo album; you know, the one Hagrid gave me my first year, but there's a picture I'd like for you to have. It's of you and I, actually. I started adding pages of my own stuff after second year – Colin was giving me all these photos, and I needed somewhere to put them. It should be on the third or fourth last page – it's of us, by the lake. That day in May, do you remember? Well, I do, at any rate. You're wearing that brown skirt (the one I could get my hands up).
I also want to ask you something. A huge favor, really, and I'll understand completely if it's too much. Ron and Hermione need a caretaker, or they will for the first couple years. Just be there for them, talk to them when they need it. When Ron's a little down, ask him about the Canon's chances (though I suppose you know these things already, he is your brother. But he's mine too, at least, that's how I think of him and there're things I figure only I know about him). If it's very bad, you know, when he gets that funny pinched face and starts chewing the corner of his mouth, make him a cup of ginger tea and just sit with him for a while, there's a box in the lower left side of my trunk. He won't drink the stuff at home, because the twins call him a fag whenever they find it. Just keep some handy, he'll appreciate it.
As for Hermione – well, go to the library with her. Never try to help her with her research, and don't let on that you came specifically to see her. And don't speak until she's done her schoolwork. Never let on that you know she's upset, and if it's bad enough that you must (you'll know this if she starts reading Muggle poetry, or if she wears that ratty old sweater outside her room, or if she talks about how much easier life would have been if she'd never come to Hogwarts) pretend she's somehow disturbing you by being upset. She doesn't like it when we notice that much, not sure why. Everything comes out eventually, so don't worry if it's like trying to get secrets out of a brick wall at first.
As for yourself, well, I'm not sure what you need. Know that I love you very much and that I would give anything to have a life with you. Please understand that I'm going on my own tomorrow because it'll never work otherwise and that I did it because I had to. I hate this. I hate that I have to leave this. I hate that I'm seventeen and I've practically just signed my own death warrant. I never wanted to be a hero. Please don't spend your whole life waiting for me to come back, because if I'm not dead, you're the first person I'm going to go to. I have a ring with me, it was my Mum's, Remus has kept it all these years. She gave it to him for safekeeping before they went into hiding. I'm going to propose to you, Ginny. The second he's dead, I'm going to propose.
I hope you say yes, even after everything.
And even if I do die, that was the plan, and I mean that. Because now even if I don't die I've got to carry through with it.
Yours,
Harry J. Potter