The show Grey's Anatomy and the characters are the sole property of Shonda Rhimes and do not belong to me.

Chapter 12

Meredith was waiting up for them and Burke apologized for keeping him out so late. Burke asked if he could put him to bed and Meredith showed him the room Christopher was staying in and gave him Christopher's pajamas. Burke changed the little boy's clothes and tucked him into bed, he gave him a kiss on the cheek and said good night but Christopher was fast asleep and didn't hear.

Burke went back downstairs and spoke to Meredith. "Did you know that he knew who I was?"

"Based on the questions he asked, yes. I think he had it all figured out. Cristina will not lie to him and she has been feeding him information about you since the day he was born. He has always known your name and that he looks like you, and he has always known that he has the same cleft in his chin like yours"

Burke smiled, "you mean the dwimple."

Meredith couldn't help but laugh, "I mean the dwimple."

"Who told him about baby Jesus?"

"I don't know, why?"

"He told me that he was born on Christmas day just like baby Jesus, Cristina is Jewish so I'm quite sure she didn't."

"Maybe she did. She is pretty good at teaching him stuff. When he was a baby, we couldn't use baby talk when we spoke to him. She said gu-gu ga-ga was not a language and we shouldn't confuse her child. So we all spoke to him like he knew what we were saying and he did."

"Thanks again Meredith, You're going to make a great mother some day.

"Thanks to Christopher, I'm getting a lot of practice."

Burke drove back to his hotel and lay across the bed. For the first time since he came back to Seattle, he was going to spend the entire night in this bed. He needed the rest badly but he missed Cristina and wanted to be right next to her even if that meant that he had to sleep in a chair. In his pocket he could feel the little gift Cristina had hidden in his suitcase three years ago he found it exactly where she said she put it. He wanted to open it, but he wanted to prove to her that he really didn't see it before, so he had planned on opening it in front of her tonight but her family was there. He wondered if they knew about him and if they loved Christopher. He ordered room service but hardly ate anything. He reflected on the evening and the wonderful time he spent with his son. What a joy it was to just sit there eating ice cream with him. Two weeks ago he had no idea that he was a father, didn't think he ever would be. He had lost Cristina and any possibility of having children was gone. He simply wasn't interested in sharing his life with anyone else. Tonight, however, had changed everything. He could not imagine his life without Cristina and Christopher. He wanted them both in his life and he couldn't have one without the other. The argument they had earlier opened up his eyes to many things, they really didn't talk, didn't discuss their personal problems. Before he left Seattle they would discuss Hospital business and surgeries but their own personal problems were just glossed over. If they had communicated more openly, their lives wouldn't be in the mess its in today. If he had the chance again, he would do things differently. He wanted Christopher to grow up in a home with a mom and a dad, he wanted him to feel loved and secure and most of all he wanted him to be happy. He was changing his clothes to go to bed when the contents of his pocket fell on the floor. He bent to pick them up and the first thing that he touched was the small package from Cristina. He stared at it for a while contemplating wether or not he should open it or wait until he was with her. He decided to open it. Just as she told him, the package contained her pregnancy test, a letter and something that she didn't mention, her Ipod. He wondered why that was there since it was one item that Cristina seemed to be attached to. He put the pregnancy test aside. He already knew the result of that. He opened the letter and started to read.

Dear Burke,

I don't know how to start this letter or wether or not I can even finish it. If you're reading it that means that you've already left for Alabama. I'm sorry about last night it should not have happened and I know some of the things that I said was very unfair. If going away is what you really think that you need to do then that's fine but there's something you should know and I'm not telling you this with any expectations. I don't expect you to change your plans but I don't want to keep anything from you, so here goes, I'm pregnant. I guess this explains all the fatigue and sleepiness.

I'm not going to ask what you think we should do, I think I already know what has to be done. I guess mother nature has the last laugh, she is determined to make a mother out of me and I can't fight her anymore. I have no idea how I'm going to handle this and for the first time since we've been together I feel totally alone. I can't talk to my family about this. They won't approve, and I haven't spoken to any of my friends. I don't think anyone can ever really appreciate the conflicting emotions that I am experiencing right now. I find it ironic that when you needed me I couldn't control my emotions enough to be there for you and now, I need you more than I have ever needed anyone and you're leaving. I can admit that I have failed you but I never believed that you would do the same to me. I guess I took it for granted that you would always be there for me. I'm not going to beg you to stay.

I've never been good at expressing my emotions but when you came into my life I thought I had finally found the one person who understood me. You wouldn't allow me to hide behind my work or any imaginary walls that I built. You were the first person that I felt truly loved me and you gave that love so openly regardless of how much I tested you. Our relationship is the best thing that ever happened to me and I have no regrets. There is a song in my Ipod which I believe expresses how I feel better than I ever could. I have always thought of it as our song, listen to it. Thanks for making this past year the best of my life. Take care of yourself, think of me once in a while.

Always,

Cristina