The show Grey's Anatomy and the characters are the sole property of Shonda Rhimes and do not belong to me.

Chapter 14

He laughed, she was starting to sound like the old Cristina again and he liked that so he decided to tease her some more. "That used to be your favorite thing to do to me."

"Not anymore, I've learned my lesson. I wouldn't touch you with a long stick."

Burke was enjoying this conversation, "I think the long stick part is my forte."

"I see Alabama has turned you into a pervert."

"No, I think the perversion part started when this wild haired intern walked into my on call room one day and locked the door. I still haven't recovered from that encounter."

Cristina started to smile but she didn't want him to know that she was enjoying this banter. "That intern must have been out of her mind."

"Not before, definitely after, then again, she blew my mind too."

"I hope that's all she blew."

"Now who's being the pervert? I found your letter. It was exactly where you said you put it. That suitcase has been in my mother's attic for the last three years and I didn't know that letter was in it."

"Did you read it?"

"What if I haven't."

"Then don't read it, give it back. The content of that letter is irrelevant."

"What part of it is irrelevant? The part where you said that I was the first person that you felt truly loved you, or was it the part where you said that our relationship was the best thing that ever happened to you. Or maybe it was the song, was it the song because I took those words literally and I have that song playing in my head even now."

"It's too late"

"No, it's not, but we need to talk about this."

"Burke, you are not my boss anymore, you're not even my boyfriend anymore so please don't tell me when I can or can't talk. You're acting as if we can just pick up where we left off almost three years ago."

"I don't expect us to pick up where we left off, or repeat our mistakes and I certainly don't want to be your boyfriend."

Cristina was surprised by his words, surprised that she was so hurt by it. "Then what do you want?"

" I want you to ...no, figure it out, and go to sleep it's almost morning."

"I can't sleep, it happened before, I don't know why."

"Maybe you should ask the nurse for sleeping pills. How often has this been happening?" He asked the question, knowing fully well what the answer would be, he had experienced the same thing.

"It started when you first left."

"I'm sorry." That's all he could say because he knew that nothing could ever change the hurt and abandonment she felt when he left. He wanted to continue talking to her, he could sense that deep down she really didn't want him to hang up the phone so he asked her about the letter again.

"Did you really mean what you said in the letter?"

"At the time, yes."

"How about now."

She sounded very sad as if she had given up on him. "I don't know, you left and I don't know

He interrupted her "Cristina. There has been no one else."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, Seriously."

"That intern must have really screwed with your head."

"Hmm, not just my head."

"What if she wants to screw with your head again."

He laughed. "She can screw me anytime she wants to"

"Burke. I'm scared."

"Of what, Loving me?"

"No, I can't handle being hurt again and I can't expose Christopher to any situation where he is going to end up being hurt. It's been the two of us for so long and it's been okay, but if he thinks that he's got you, what happens when you leave."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"What about your job?"

"I will have to go back to tie up loose ends but it won't be for long." He realized that she needed reassurance and that she was worried about Christopher. "I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you or our son."

"I know you may not want to but what if ...

"No what ifs, you're tired, close your eyes"

"My eyes are closed"

"Okay listen' he pressed play on the Ipod and put the headset to the phone, listen to the song and go to sleep" He let the song play and when it was finished he asked, "are you still awake?"

She barely answered and he knew she was falling asleep. He started to talk to her softly. "Pretend that I'm there, I'm lying right next to you and I am holding you" She was talking to him but very softly and she sounded as if she was far away.

"Is that all you're doing to me?"

"Yes, you're sick remember"

"I want more than that"

"Okay. So I'm kissing you, and you're kissing me back."

"Where are you kissing me?"

"Everywhere"

"Burke"

"What"

"you're worst than me telling the story of the naughty nurses"

"shut up I'm kissing you"

"I do, you know."

"Do what?"

"Love you"

He wanted to shout it to the world but she was falling asleep and he wanted her to rest so he quietly said "I know, good night Cristina."

"It's morning" she reminded him."

"Okay, good morning Cristina, I love you."