Draco Malfoy swaggered over to the Gryffindor table, the look just a bit big for his thin shoulders. Still, he wore the arrogance well. Draco put one hand on a chair, leaving him standing beside Granger, looking at the amorous couple. "Well, well, well, look who finally got a clue." Draco drawled. And Granger, who had honestly been doing a good job of looking unaffected, stiffened beside him. How interesting...

In fact, Draco had been expecting more of a reaction from Weasel and his overly affectionate paramour. Instead, they seemed so preoccupied with kissing each other that Draco Malfoy was tempted to send them each a stinging hex in their nether regions simply for ignoring him!

Potter seemed a bit more adept at reading the mood, his green eyes burning as they glared at Draco, who smirked in reply. "Buzz off, Malfoy, no one wants you here."

"How could I pass up observing such an obviously inappropriate spectacle?" Malfoy smirked, "You do realize you're going to get your friend detention, don't you?"

"What do you mean?" Harry Potter said, frowning in dull incomprehension.

"Well..." Malfoy drawled, "Since Weasel there isn't smart enough to think of this himself, I believe you were the one who talked him out of pining for the prudish, virginal prig over here, and convinced him that Brown is an easy fuck any day of the week."

Harry shot back, "That is not my fault!" Interesting, not even Weasel's best friend approves of his choices.

Apparently Lavender Brown had been listening more than Weasel had (was this his first time kissing? Malfoy idly wondered. He certainly seemed preoccupied enough for that to have been the case), as her hands fisted on Weasel's shirt, her blue eyes glaring up at Malfoy. If she was a more competent witch, he'd be thinking about how to avoid a hex about now... as it was, she hissed, "You take that back, Malfoy."

"Oh, if only I could," Malfoy said, in an unctuous and delighted manner, "but my cock down your throat last week says otherwise."

"How crude," Granger said, disapprovingly. "It's a wonder you made prefect with a mouth like that."

Weasel, having been deprived of his present oxygen-deprivation, looked up at Malfoy - more upset that he'd lost Brown's attention than at anything Malfoy had actually said. "Enjoy my sloppy seconds." Malfoy said, raising an eyebrow, as he turned away.

Malfoy smirked as he swaggered down the hall, knowing that Weasel was trying to kill him with a death glare.

[a/n: Malfoy's an unrepentant ass. Most people just leave their enemies alone. Malfoy's more the type to set the fox in the henhouse, sowing chaos and discord among his enemies. So is the Slytherin way.

This was originally just going to be Ron and Lav being disgustingly loveydovey, and Harry about ready to rip his hair out. Unfortunately, Malfoy wanted a piece of pretty much everyone.

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