The show Grey's Anatomy and the characters are the sole property of Shonda Rhimes and do not belong to me.

Chapter 22

The kiss started out light, soft, Tentative. Then escalated into something way beyond their control. Logic dictates that he waited. She had just been released from the hospital. Still weak, too frail, very fragile and she didn't need the physical exertion. Logic, has its limits. Last night logic won. They slept in each other's arms and just . . . slept. When she kissed him, when he returned the kiss, logic went out the window and more than three years of need and want and their undying love for each other returned and neither one of them could, nor really wanted to control it. And so, with their child away with his grandparents, they gave in to the passion, and the love, and their uncontrollable need for each other and made love.

It was incredible, like a perfect landing after a tumultuous flight. At first he was extremely gentle with her. The memory of what she told him about the way her husband treated her, her very first time, still fresh in his mind. He wanted to eradicate all that from her memory. To remind her that he was Burke, not the man who violated her. That all men are not the same. And that he valued her, needed her and most of all, he loved her. His own fulfillment was secondary and he tried to convey with his body what the words failed to. That nothing or no one was more important to him than her. That he would gladly take this journey, this heartbreaking, obstacles laden, painful journey again if it meant that in the end, he'd be with her. To him, her feelings were just as important as his, and in this instance her feelings supercede his.

She, being Cristina, would have none of it. She was her old gloriously uninhibited self and she informed him that she was not fragile and wouldn't break. And so they spent the afternoon rediscovering each other. When it was over, they had taken each other to heights they'd never reached before. Afterwards, they lay there, in their usual position, his arms wrapped around her, and they slept. If anyone had walked in that room, based on the condition, they'd believe that a hurricane had passed through. There were clothes tossed in every direction as if someone had changed in a hurry. The sheets were hanging off the bed, mostly on the floor and the bed was an absolute mess. But the two people lying there was the picture of absolute contentment.

Burke was the first to wake up. At first he just laid there with his eyes closed. He didn't want to open his eyes only to find that it was just a dream. He'd had similar dreams before over the years. But none exactly like this. If this were a dream, he did not want to wake up. This, by far, was the best dream he'd ever had. It was vivid and real and he found himself wanting her again. He opened his eyes, prepared to be disappointed, but she was right there in his arms, naked. He wasn't dreaming. Her eyes were closed and he was sure that she was sleeping. He took the opportunity to really look at her. He had discovered during their love making that she had acquired a few scars. Two, resulting from the accident and the subsequent surgery to repair her internal organs, and one much lower down her body, the result of the C-section to bring Christopher into the world. He gently turned her over so she was lying on her back. And kissed the scar from her C-section before pulling the blanket covering them both.

As he laid there, a million thoughts ran through his mind. He had so many questions to ask her, and yet so many had been answered in the past few hours. He had always felt that there were things about her that he didn't know. Things she wanted to keep private. He had no idea how excruciatingly painful those things were. Looking back, he'd always known that someone had hurt her, someone she was close to. He wasn't sure if it was someone from her childhood or more recent, but he knew. He always wanted to ask her, even when they first got together, but he knew that his questions would only cause her to withdraw into herself and he didn't want that. So he decided that he would leave her alone and in time she would open up to him. He had no idea that it would take this long or the events that would lead up to her telling him. He knew now why she was so reluctant to move in with him, her reason for keeping her apartment even after she did, and her fear of admitting that she loved him. All those things could be traced back to one person, her ex-husband. He had a problem thinking of anyone as her husband, except himself. Without realizing it, he was biting down on his bottom lip so hard it started to bleed. All he could think about was that the son of a bitch hurt her and left her alone in a hotel room to go to a bar. He couldn't understand how any man could be so callous. His only thought was that maybe the bastard was having difficulty dealing with his own sexuality. But, that was no excuse, and still did not answer the question of why he wanted money to leave her. To Burke, his greatest pleasure at this moment would be to have his hands around the bastard's neck, choking the life out of him. He was angry but wasn't sure who he was angrier at, her parents for letting him get off so easy, or himself. Given her past experience, he could only now appreciate the full impact of his leaving on her. Someone else she loved and trusted, hurt her. The other guy took money. That was replaceable. He took much more. He took her heart and left her with a baby.

He didn't realize that he was squeezing her until she stirred and opened her eyes. She saw the pained look on his face and asked. "What's wrong?"

He stared at her for a moment, their eyes met and held. "I'm sorry." There was so much emotion in his voice when he said those words that she knew that he was blaming himself for all their troubles. "You didn't know. I can live with that."

"What's his name?" His question was so unexpected. It caught her off guard. "What?"

"You know what I'm asking."

She did, and she didn't want to keep things from him anymore but she didn't see why telling Burke his name would change anything. "I can tell you that he is a malpractice Lawyer. He takes pleasure in suing people like us for the simplest of mistakes. He knows his stuff. He also has a MD. He is from a very prominent family and he is about your age."

"Sounds like you're very proud of him." He was feeling just a little bit jealous.

"I'm not proud of him. Those are just facts. It doesn't make him a better human being. I'm proud of you. It's all that matter."

He thought about what she said and decided to leave well alone but he had one last question. "Why did your parents pay him off? What he did was fraud. Not to mention blackmail."

"It was mostly because of me. At the time I couldn't handle the publicity or the shame . . . I"

He interrupted her instantly. "Cristina, you had nothing to be ashamed of. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know that now but back then . . . you don't understand the state I was in . . . I think I'd prefer to drop out of college than to deal with the publicity. My step father would have taken it further. He doesn't suffer fools easily . . . emotionally, I couldn't cope and they understood. Today, if the same thing were to happen I would handle it differently."

He realized that his questioning was causing her to relive what happened and was causing her distress so he tilted her chin, kissed her gently and said. "Today, it would never happen."

"I know."

They laid there quietly, lost in their own individual thoughts when her next words floored him."So before I marry you, is there anything you want to get off your chest?"

"Before you what! Is that a yes?" He had the most amazing smile on his face

"Of course it's a yes. Don't make a big deal out of it. I will marry you. I was always going to marry you."

He was so excited he picked her up and pressed her body to his so tightly that she winced in pain. He put her back down quickly but started to kiss her all over until she pulled away from him. "Don't start anything you can't finish. Besides we've already taken too many chances today, unprotected chances, she stressed. I want to walk down the aisle. Not waddle down it."

Instinctively his hand went to her stomach, gently running his hands back and forth he said. "I never thought about that."

She smiled "Don't worry about it, but just so you know, if I am pregnant, after the baby is born, there'll be one Dr. Burke working and that'll be me."

"Does that mean that you'll take my name?"

She smiled at is uncertainty. "I don't know, if you should come back to the hospital it would be a bit confusing. The she Burke doesn't have the same ring to it as the she Shepherd. God knows what they'll call me."

"So when is this big event."

Again she was taken off guard. "What big event?"

"Our Wedding."

"I don't know. This was your idea. I just want to have sex with you whenever or wherever I please. If marriage is what it takes, so be it. You pick the date."

He knew that his next words would change her mind. "Okay, here's the deal. We'll hold off having sex until we're married, so the longer you take to set a date . . . "

She interrupted. "Burke, if you try to blackmail me with sex, I swear I'll sleep with Alex, or McDreamy or George for that matter."

Burke burst out laughing. "First of all Karev couldn't satisfy you. You wouldn't sleep with McDreamy because he's your best friend's boyfriend and I don't think he could satisfy you either. As for George, he's like the brother you never had. It would be like incest."

"So you're saying I'm oversexed."

"I'm saying that I'm the only man you'll be having sex with for a very long time. And when I'm old and grey and can't get it up anymore, you can buy my viagara."

"God you're arrogant."

"Yes, I am, but you love me anyway."

She didn't comment. She had always taken it for granted that he knew that she loved him. Even before she realized it herself. "So you didn't answer my question."

"What question." He was pulling her legs. He knew exactly what she was asking him.

"Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we're married?"

"You mean if I have an ex-wife or children or lover hidden anywhere?"

"Yes."

"Then the answer is no. Cristina I'm no angel. I've had my share of . . . experiences. I have had romances that led to no where because I didn't want them to. I came close to marrying once but for the wrong reasons . . . There was a time in my life when I was finished with college and Medical School and was about to finish my internship when I felt that the next logical step was to get married . . . I was seeing someone at the time and I thought . . . well, we thought that it would be a good idea to get married. Luckily, we both realized what a mistake that would be, so we decided to call it quits . . . It was a mutual decision and she is now married to someone wonderful and is the mother of two beautiful children . . . We cared deeply for each other but not enough to marry . . . After that, I was basically married to my work, Until you came along and hit me like a bolt of lightening and in essence ruined it for any other woman to come my way. So, the answer is no Cristina, there's no one for you to concern yourself about. No ex, no children, no hidden lover to come out of the woodwork . . . There was no one in my life when we met and no one else since. I have spent the last three years of my life in Alabama living like a monk, sexless and hopelessly pining away for you."

She curled her body into his and buried her face in his chest. She was trying to hide the smile threatening to appear. She was happy to hear from his own mouth that there was no one for her to be concerned about, but she also couldn't help the feeling of jealousy she experienced when he mentioned that there had been someone long ago whom he almost married. He held her close, knowing that her silence meant she was thinking about what he said.

"How did you feel when I told you that I was married before?"

He didn't have to think about the answer to this question, he knew. "I felt like someone reached inside my chest and ripped my heart out."

"Then you know how I'm feeling right now."

He tightened his hold on her. "Yes, I do, but all that is in our past. The present and future are all that matters now. We're exactly where we should be, with the one person each of us wants to be with. It can only get better from here."