Things Go Bump in the Night...
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any other related trademark products. I also do not own Harry Potter or any other related trademark products. I do not own (this sounds so wrong, but I have to write it) Oprah or Dr. Phil. I do not actually mean anything I say about them, and apologize any for offense any of them take.
Okay, I know I said I'll fill in everyone who skipped the last chapter. So basically, Tsunade got drunk and messed up Gaara's room, and Gaara's like oh shit, what the fuck did I just give my soul to, and Shukakh's all like haha bitch, you're in some serious shit now, and Temari's like oh shit, Shukakh's back and Kankuro's like oh shit, why the fuck can we read minds, and Dr. Phil's like oh shit, Baki is trying to replace me and his tattoos clash with the suit, and Oprah's like, oh shit, this memoir's pretty good, and Baki's like no bitch, that's a self-help book, and I'm all like screw this paragraph and just read the story.
"Gaara-sama! You look great!" Sakura exclaimed when she saw Gaara walking slowly towards her. Tsunade smiled. So far so good, she thought. Gaara cocked his head. "…I see…" he said vaguely. Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. What the hell she thought. "Sakura, you don't look too bad yourself," she gritted her teeth. Damn it! Doesn't that bastard know he should compliment her? Sakura looked bashful. "Thank you, Hokage-sama." She turned around to face her teacher. "So what are we doing for tonight?" Tsunade smiled at her student. "You and Gaara, are going around town for an outing, while Shizune and I hit the liquor stores to stock up when we get back to Konoh…" "BITCH! THAT IS SO LIKE YOU TO JUST LEAVE ME!" roared Inner Sakura. "Okay." Sakura smiled. "So, Gaara, where are we going?" Gaara blinked, almost as if he was thinking. "I was thinking of going to the library, and then to the chiropractor, for my monthly visit." Tsunade's eyebrows twitched again. This is a fricking outing, you retarded boy, not your to-do list. Of course, she didn't say anything, as she was enough trouble already.
Flashback
"Tsunade, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say-"
"Fuck you, officer! I know my motherfucking rights! This is police brutality, POLICE BRUTALITY, DO YOU HEAR ME!"
"Anything you say can and will be held against you in the court of law-"
"ANYTHING I SAY WILL BE TURNED INTO BULLSHIT! YA'LL IN SOME MOTHERFUCKING SHIT, HEAR ME! THIS GOING TO COME BACK AND GET YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES!"
"Ma'am, calm down, please, calm down-"
"I'M PERFECTLY CALM, MOTHERFUCKING BITCHFACE! YA'LL HAVE SOME MOTHERFUCKING ISSUES!"
"Shock her."
"OH HELLS, NO! THAT MOTHERFUCKING SHIT AIN'T GOING UP MY ASS!"
"Ma'am, if you do not want us to use the taser, I suggest you calm down-"
"DID YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCHES NOT HEAR ME? I AM CALM! YA'LL GOT SOME SHIT UP YOUR-"
(The taser was shot, further angering Tsunade, until Shizune came over and stabber her with another needle. Unfortunately, this happened to late, as Tsunade was charged with:
Property trespassing
Destruction of property
Public stripping
Assault on the Kazekage
Assault on several police members
Assault on the Kazekage's family members
Alcohol overdose
Assault on parole officer
Ethnicity offense
However, due to the fact that Tsunade was acting under the influence and Suna did not want to start another war with Konoha that will end up with their ass getting handed to them again, they decided to drop all charges except
Alcohol overdose
And destruction of property.)
End of Flashback
"That sounds like a great idea, Gaara," Tsunade gritted her teeth. Gaara turned around and stalked off. Sakura glared at Tsunade. "You could have told me I was on date!" Tsunade smiled "It was a surprise Sakura-san, now go on the date with Gaara and have a good time." Sakura glared. "And what are you going to do?" Tsunade looked surprised. "Didn't I just say?" Sakura rolled her eyes. "Never mind…" and she went off to follow Gaara.
Meanwhile…
"Temari, is it ready?" Kankuro looked up as fast as he could, without causing more blood to flow out of his bleeding nose (see last chapter)
"Shut up, idiot! I'm working as fast as I can!" She set the sniper rifle up. "Now what the hell is up with this?" She glanced at her brother. "Is the potion ready?" Kankuro looked at the bottle. It read (In Japanese of course):
"Property of Hogwarts: Truth potion. Just two drops and this person will spill their deepest secrets!" Kankuro looked up. "Better make it four drops…" He said nervously.
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