They Didn't Know We Were Seeds

For once, Severus is all alone. Well, not completely alone; he is in the library. The library has a number of students all over the place. Some are looking for books on the shelves, while others sit at tables studiously reading or scribbling on a parchment madly. But, for once, it is just him at a tiny table tucked behind a shelf near the back of the room. Lily is off dealing with an "emergency" that involves a couple of her dormmates and a fourth-year Hufflepuff they both fancy.

As for Sage, he's in detention. Severus can't help but think he deserves it. The boy should have been more clever about getting back at their fellow third years for insulting Severus's parentage. And if he's honest with himself, Severus is more insulted that Sage didn't think he could handle it himself. Has the boy forgotten what he did when their dormmates were throwing around the word Mudblood? What Rosier said to Crabbe really isn't half as bad as some of the things he's been called over the course of his two lifetimes either. In fact, he'd been perfectly ready to just let it go.

He snorts quietly to himself, realizing just how out of character a plan of action like that is for him. How many times had people told him to let things go in the past and he hadn't? Far more times than he can remember, that's for sure. It's a bit amazing, but he's finally learned what is and isn't worth his time. It only took a lifetime and then some.

Severus's thoughts wander to Sirius. He wonders if he can teach the other not to be so hot-headed too. He's definitely becoming less like the schoolboy Severus remembers from his first lifetime with each passing day. For one, he doesn't target Slytherins for nasty pranks anymore. Though, Severus will have to wait and see if that lasts. This is Narcissa's last year at Hogwarts, and while Sirius might be leery of setting her off, he's definitely not against upsetting his younger brother. In fact, he seems to take some joy out of it. Severus never had siblings, but it appears to be a common thing with them. Boyd likes to wind up Sage where he can too.

The clearing of a throat draws Severus from his musings.

Lifting his head up from behind the thick textbook he'd been hiding behind, he scowls. "What do you want?" he demands.

Taking off his glasses, James fiddles with cleaning them as he says, "Can we talk? Just for a minute?"

"What are we doing right now?" Severus sneers.

The boy frowns. "I don't know why Lily and Sirius like you so much. You're a prick."

"You're not so amazing yourself, despite what Sirius and Lily try and lead me to believe."

James sits down across from him. "Last year, I saw Channing with one of the cats that went missing."

Severus is left speechless.

"That's why I went with Lily to get a professor. I wanted to tell them about seeing her with one of the missing cats." His expression a bit helpless, he continued, "If I'd known she was going to kill the cat, I would have asked what she was doing with someone else's familiar when I saw her…"

His bearings returning to him, Severus croaks, "Does Lily know you saw her with one of the cats?"

"Yes," he answers. "But I asked her not to tell anyone. I didn't want people asking me all kinds of questions I wouldn't know the answer to." He sighs. "Or why I didn't stop Channing…"

In a way that could be described as comforting, Severus tells him, "Only a dunderhead would ask why you didn't stop her. Students pet and play with one aother's familiars all of the time."

James looks a little less downtrodden at this, but Severus is beginning to question so many things. Had Albus really believed him because of what he said and his memories? Or had he believed him because it confirmed what James told him? In little more than a whisper, he asks, "Why didn't you say anything about seeing her with the cats when you learned they were missing?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. Like you said, students pet and play with other's familiars all the time. It seemed silly."

Angrily, Severus snaps, "Well, it wasn't!"

Some students glance their way as Madam Pince appears almost as if by apparition. "Shh!" she hisses.

Gathering his things, he grumbles, "No worries, I'm leaving!"

"Are you cross with me?" James questions, hurrying to his feet to follow Severus.

He spins around and shoves him away. "Yes! If you had just bloody said something to anyone there may have only been one dead cat!"

James stares back, gobsmacked. Severus makes a noise of disgust and stalks out of the library. Now, he really wants to be alone. Alone as in no one but him in a room where he won't be bothered.

-O-

"You didn't show up for dinner. I thought I'd bring you a couple of rolls."

Severus doesn't look up from the book he's brooding over.

Lily sighs. "Do you want to talk me through what happened? James is blaming himself now for the dead familiars."

"Good!"

Severus suddenly falls out of his chair after a pair of hands roughly shove him. "Belt up!" Lily snaps. "Just because you're cross about something doesn't mean you can take it out on a kid!"

Getting to his feet, Severus yells back, "Watch me!" Pointing at her, he growls, "He told me you knew he saw Channing with the cat. Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Undeterred by his behavior, Lily scowls at him. "He asked me not to. If Sage asked you not to tell anyone something, would you tell me what he said? What about if it were Sirius or Narcissa who asked you?"

"That's different!" Severus argues. "If they didn't want others to know something it would be because it's personal. What he saw wasn't personal, it was even past being useful information!"

Lily put her hands out in a begging motion. "Exactly. It didn't matter if you knew or not. It wasn't useful. Channing was already expelled by the time I could have took you aside to tell you what James saw."

"I wonder, would Channing have been expelled without James information? Somehow, I doubt it."

His friend throws her arms up. "What are you going on about? Of course she would have been! What you saw was damning!"

"Was it really?" Severus demands. "Albus thinks there's something wrong with me." Turning away from Lily, he says, "I'm rather certain he and the rest of the professors thought I was responsible for the deaths."

Arms wrap around him. He stays still, refusing to accept comfort. "Sev," Lily mumbles into his shoulder blades. "I know we haven't discussed it, but if you wanted to tell someone about us, I'd be alright if it were Albus. I know you hate how he doesn't respect you like he did in our last lifetime."

He scoffs. "I doubt he would respect me after – even if he believed us."

Severus feels her warm breath fan across his back. He nearly shivers. Fucking hormones. Quietly, Lily murmurs, "Then that would be his loss, not yours."

With care, he extracts himself from Lily and turns around to face her. Unable to help himself, he leans in and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. "Thank you," he says. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Lily's fingers hover just below her lips, like she can't quite believe he kissed her. Severus can't really believe he did it either. He's likely overstepped their boundaries. Lily probably still feels she is a married woman— Even if her husband is a thirteen-year-old boy who's warring between thinking girls are gross and wanting to kiss one. He hopes she's not upset with him. This would be an awful way for their friendship to end for the second time. Especially since Severus doesn't think he's quite in control of himself as he once was.

Finally, his friend whispers, "You need to apologize to James."

He frowns. That's what she's going to say to him after he kissed her? "Maybe."

"Severus."

He huffs loudly and says, "Fine. Later. Look, I was about to start on a sensitive potion. I'll need complete silence to concentrate. Do you think you can come back later?"

Lily blinks, looking a bit miffed. "Yes. I'll come back just before curfew?"

"Alright," Severus replies, putting his back to her as he pretends to gather together supplies he'll need for his "potion". He continues to go through the motions until he hears her leave. Once he's sure she's gone, he lets his shoulders droop and he runs a hand through his hair.

'That could have gone better,' he thinks. 'At least I know when to leave here to avoid talking to her about it…'

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