They Didn't Know We Were Seeds
Lily's brows are furrowed with concern when he informs her of the "secret" part of his holiday plans. "Is this such a good idea?" she asks. "I don't like thinking it, but meeting your grandfather could be dangerous. What if…" her speculation fades away into nothing as she brings her thumb to her mouth. Nervously, Lily gnaws at the white of her nail. Finally, she whispers, "What if he hurts you? He disowned your mother for marrying a Muggle. What might he do to you?"
"I can defend myself," Severus reminds Lily. "I'm well versed in surviving."
The look she gives him in return is foul. "Uh-huh," she mutters. "Like even the best can't be caught off guard."
He sighs. "Look, if Sage didn't need me, I'd tell Mrs. Montague and my grandfather exactly where they can stuff it."
Lily's eyes soften a fraction. "What do you think he's so afraid of his mother finding out?"
"What he said left little for me to speculate over," says Severus, "which means I haven't the foggiest idea." It's the truth. He wonders if it doesn't have something to do with Boyd, or with Sage's father, perhaps something Sage did himself at some point, but the boy gave away so little when having his fit that Severus isn't confident to even really voice any of his ideas.
His friend nods. "Please stay safe," she pleads as they step off the Hogwarts Express. "And keep Sage safe too."
"I will," he promises.
From behind, a voice calls, "Hey, wait up!"
Severus and Lily both look over their shoulders to see Sage with the book he'd left behind in their compartment on the train. Severus feels his lips twitch with amusement as he shares a look with Lily. "See you in two weeks?" he inquires.
Lily grins. "Of course!" she agrees before they split up to meet their respective families.
-o-O-o-
When Severus steps into the kitchen shortly before dinner, Mrs. Montague pauses in ordering around Topper to shoot daggers at him. "Why aren't you wearing the new robes I laid out for you?" she demands.
Getting himself a glass of water, Severus plays up an air of nonchalance. "I didn't like them," he says simply. He hadn't, either. They were too formal, too showy. Severus likes plain things, especially plain black things. He likes being able to fade into the background and be forgotten when it suits him. The robes she gave him, with their silver embroidering and dark green lining were anything but.
"It doesn't matter if you don't like them!" she hisses. "Merlin, boy, Christmas is about dressing in your best!"
He knows he's supposed to be pretending he doesn't know who's coming over in a little less than half an hour, but he's sick of it. "I'm not helping you impress Mr. Prince by dressing in clothes that I don't like."
The woman stills, face blank. "Did Sage tell you he was visiting?"
Severus frowns. "I made him. Getting this dressed up for a dinner at home seemed idiotic, no matter how posh your family is. I asked Sage if there was someone else coming over we were dressing up for and said if he didn't tell me the truth I would set fire to his bed."
Mrs. Montague's eyes fly wide in outrage. "If you weren't Eileen's son I would hex you!" she hisses.
He scoffs. While Severus does believe her, he still doesn't understand what it is about his relation to his mother that makes him impervious to punishment. Severus is morbidly excited for the day it's not enough and she actually does punish him. Or tries to, anyway. Severus isn't just going to take a beating from her like he did from his father.
The two of them are interrupted by the floo flaring to life in the next room. She runs her hands down her robes, smoothing out any errant wrinkles. Mrs. Montague murmurs, "You're grandfather's early."
Severus doesn't say anything as he watches her hurry into the next room. "Uncle Demitri!" Mrs. Montague greets, "how lovely of you to make it."
"How do you do, Vesta? And of course I made it. It would have been terribly rude to turn down an invitation from you. You were Etta's favorite niece."
Reluctantly, Severus approaches the open doorway between the kitchen and the next room. Taking a deep breath, Severus steals himself in preparation for his first glimpse of his grandfather. He peeks into the room and takes in the sight of the old man. His grandfather's tall; sharp around the shoulders, much like his mother, and the same as Severus was when he was grown. Severus twists a finger around a lock of hair. The man is mostly bald and Severus wonders if that's something he will have to worry about if he lives to be as old as his grandfather. Severus rather likes his long hair.
Mrs. Montague moves aside, allowing Severus to get his first clear look at the man's face. Severus has always known he takes much more after his father and his father's family in his facial structure, but he can't for the life of him pick out a single thing about his grandfather's face that also belongs to him. Even his eyes are different. A pale blue, like the Montagues', where his own are as black as a new cauldron.
Smiling, Mrs. Montague says to Severus's grandfather, "There's someone I would like you to meet."
"Oh?" the old man replies, eyebrows rising in interest.
That's his cue, Severus thinks. He forces himself to take a step into the room. Meeting the old man's gaze, he says, "Hello."
The man's eyes are mildly confused as he stares down at him. "Hello. Are you a friend of Sage's?"
"A bit more than that, I'd say," Severus replies, more amused than he should be at the question.
Mrs. Montague glares over his grandfather's shoulder at him as the old man presses his lips into a thin line in a way that Severus is all too familiar with. 'Ah, finally some family resemblance,' Severus thinks.
Moving around the man, Mrs. Montague comes to stand beside Severus and rest a hand on his shoulder. "This is Severus," she says. Then after a moment of hesitation, she adds, "Your grandson."
The man rears back. "What?" he gapes.
"Perhaps you remember my mother, Eileen? You disowned her after she married my father, Tobias Snape," Severus bites.
"Severus!" Mrs. Montague hisses, tightening her grip on him.
Annoyed, he wrenches himself out of her hold. "Don't scold me!" he snaps at the woman. Looking between his astounded grandfather and furious cousin, he says, "I'll go tell Sage you've arrived."
Neither attempts to stop him as he leaves the room to find Sage.
-O-
Dinner is far from pleasant. His grandfather spends almost the entire time staring at Severus, only glancing at Sage out of politeness on occasion when Mrs. Montague's nervous chatter dictates the boy tell his Great Uncle Demitri some anecdote about Hogwarts or his hobbies. As for Severus, he refuses to say anything. Even when he's asked questions, even when said questions come from Sage.
He sits poised in his chair, not eating, just glaring at the old man who refuses to flinch, to admit any kind of defeat. Unluckily for the man, Severus is just as stubborn (another commonality between them). He will not be the one to break. Finally, after everyone else has finished their meals and Topper is in the process of clearing away everyone's' plates, his grandfather says, "Aren't you a sullen one?"
Severus's curls his lips into a sneer.
"Uncle Demitri," Mrs. Montague warns in a strained tone. She, who knows Severus, but knows Demitri Prince even better, sees something unpleasant on the horizon.
'Good,' Severus thinks. He wants that. He wants the coming anger, broken things, biting words, and for everything to end in an explosion of never again. The best part of it will be that it's all Severus's choice. He will finally be the one who chooses to cut the rope, instead of being the one made to fall.
His grandfather raises a hand, silencing his cousin.
She sighs. "Sage, come with me to the kitchen," she orders. "You can help me with the last preparations for our pudding."
Sage glances nervously between Severus and his mother. Still not breaking gaze with his grandfather, Severus gives a tiny dip of his chin, letting the boy know it's alright. Sage gets up and follows his mother out of the room.
"Your mother was sullen the last time I saw her too," the man says once the Montagues are gone. A shifty looking coming to his eyes, he asks, "Did she talk much about us? Her family?"
Baring his teeth like the werewolf he was once nearly killed by, Severus says, "Her reluctance to spoke volumes."
His grandfather frowns. "You think me a monster, don't you?" he asks in a neutral tone.
Severus laughs. "I know monsters," he says. "You are far from a good man, but you are not a monster."
The man can't hide his surprise at Severus's words. "Your father–"
"–Is not the monster I speak of," he says, effectively drowning out the rest of the man's question with his answer. "I won't lie, he's done a great many monstrous things, but I would still only call him a bad man. A rather mundane kind of bad man at that."
Looking further unsettled by Severus's words, he changes the topic when he inquires, "How is your mother?"
"As well as can be expected." Grimly, Severus says, "Which is not very well."
The old man seems to deflate a little in his seat. "How did you end up here? Without your mother?"
"Luck," Severus answers. "Mrs. Montague mentioned your and your wife's name and I recognized them. At that point, she decided I would become her ward and tried to make Mum leave Dad." Severus finally looks away. It hurts, even now, to know she'd rather stand by his father than to have him in her life. "But Mum wouldn't."
The old man sighs tiredly. "At least one of you is away from that bloody Muggle."
Severus shoots up from his chair. "Him being a Muggle is not what makes him awful!" he yells. "It is what he's done to Mum, to me, that makes him a dreadful person! I know for a fact wizards do the same exact thing to their wives and children!"
His grandfather scowls. "You should know better than to raise your voice at your elders."
He scoffs. "Don't flatter yourself. You're not the first old man I've shouted at."
"I don't know what Vesta was thinking taking you in."
It surprises him, but he knows exactly why she took Severus in. Why she's letting him behave like an arse when she would beat her own sons if they were half as surly. "She thought she was doing right by her family, making up for a mistake she made years ago when she didn't fight for my mum."
Severus feels very guilty all of a sudden. Mrs. Montague may be annoying and pushy, but she has only wanted what is best for Severus from the moment she knew he was her cousin's son.
The old man's face sours. "I am leaving. Tell Vesta I feel a bit ill." His mouth curls unpleasantly. "I don't think the ham is agreeing with me."
He keeps his expression blank and says nothing as the man leaves him.
A few moments later, as the sound of the Floo coming to life filters into the room, Mrs. Montague rushes in. "Oh no! Where has Uncle Demitri gone to?"
Not bothering to hide how miserable he feels – only if because he's caused her misery, Severus whispers, "I'm sorry."
Mrs. Montague's brows pull together in befuddlement. "Whatever for?"
"I behaved poorly. He had enough of it and left. I've ruined your Christmas," he explains, feeling a little incredulous as he does so. After all, isn't it obvious?
She sighs lightly and comes to his side. "Now, hush pet," she chides. "I knew exactly what I would be getting myself into when I brought you into my home. Why in Merlin's name would you thank me for taking you away from your mother?" Her face gentles around the edges. "I'm sure you felt and feel you are responsible for her in somehow, don't you?"
Severus finds himself nodding, because, yes, he is responsible for his mother. He knows her future. He knows if he just thinks about it harder he can figure out a way to rescue her from his father. He just needs to do it and stop worrying about other, less pressing things.
"Let me tell you something, Severus, you aren't responsible for her."
He goes taut at her words, retort ready on his tongue.
Mrs. Montague silences him with a finger to his lips, however. Eyes steady and determined, she says, "She chose her bed. I won't say she deserves it, and I have been visiting her, trying to make her get out of it, but she refuses. For now, the best I – we – can do is make sure she knows we are here whenever she decides to leave it."
Severus isn't happy, but he sees the sense in her words and settles in his chair once again, waiting for her to finish her little speech.
"I did tell your grandfather while you were retrieving Sage you would continue to be difficult. All you know of him, of me, is that we let your mother down. If he can't hack a thirteen-year-old boy's rather deserved anger, then he really shouldn't be here."
He still feels at fault. "I should have been more polite."
"Yes, you should have," Mrs. Montague agrees. "Even if you dislike someone, you should behave with decorum." She cups his face in her hands. "But that is a difficult thing to do, especially so for one so young. You are terribly mature in so many ways, Severus, but you are still a boy."
If only she knew. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he changes the subject by asking, "You visit Mum?"
"Quite often, actually," she admits.
Severus takes a deep breath. "If— If I write her a letter, will you give it to her?"
"Yes, of course."
In a rare show of affection for someone he's previously felt little more than disdain for than anything else, he hugs her. When she wraps her arms around him and returns the embrace, he sags with relief. Here he'd been looking forward to finally being the one to burn bridges, but in the process almost burnt one he didn't realize the worth of. Thank Merlin Aunt Vesta is more forgiving than himself.
The first half of Severus (and Sage's) Christmas holidays? Predictions about what their time with Boyd will be like?
As I like to every once in a while, I really want to tell you all how much I appreciate all of you. You just reading, following, favoriting, and most of all, reviewing. It's always such a pleasure to see the numbers ticking up.
Thank you for reading :)
