They Didn't Know We Were Seeds
"Hey Severus, do you think your cousin would let me stay with you and her family for a week or two during the summer?" asks Sirius one afternoon while they are sitting together in the library.
Severus looks up from the book on Spanish runes he's reading and at Sirius, who is staring intently at a sheet of parchment he's turned into a makeshift calendar. "Just you or you and Regulus?"
Sirius glances up. "Just me," he says, then, hesitantly, adds, "maybe both of us for a couple of days toward the end of however long my stay is?"
He tips back in his chair a little and turns his gaze to the high-arching ceiling above. He doesn't think Aunt Vesta will have much, if any problem, hosting Sirius for a week and Regulus for a few days. She'd been beside herself with excitement when they came by for just a day last summer. He'll have to write her for surety, but Severus is quite confident she'll leap at the chance to host the Black heir (and spare) again. It's Sage Severus really has to think about when considering his answer.
He's a reserved sort (much like Severus, if he's honest). A week might be a bit much for him. Severus too, truthfully. He sighs. He'll have to ask him his thoughts on an extended stay with Sirius. Perhaps explain that things are a bit turbulent for Sirius at his home and they'd really be doing the boy a favor if they let him stay a while. Sage isn't the sympathetic sort necessarily, but he is a Slytherin and might see that it could be to their benefit should he need something from Sirius later. As much of a Gryffindor as he is, Sirius likely knows that not (most) everything Severus has done for him is because of goodwill. He was raised by Slytherins, after all.
"I'll have to double-check with Aunt Vesta, but you can likely stay for a week and a half mid-July, right before Sage and I are to go stay with his brother for the last half of the summer."
Sirius scribbles in just less than a dozen blocks on his hand-drawn calendar. Putting down his quill, he grins at it. "Wicked! That's almost half the summer away!"
Severus leans in at those words. "Pardon?"
He lifts his calendar to show Severus. There are blocks scribbled in all over the place. It's a bit erratic with only one other big block toward the end of the summer. "This is my visiting mates schedule for the summer," he explains to Severus. "James is the other big block at the end, but he has a couple of days in June and July too. Remus is letting me come over a few days here and there over the summer too. Peter's promised a long weekend the week after the term's finished. He also says I might be able to stay a day or two in August after he gets back from staying with his Aunt and Uncle in Wales."
He weighs his options on what to say next. He's not surprised that Sirius is already trying to spend every moment he can away from his family given he'd been disowned before he even finished Hogwarts in the first life Severus lived, but he isn't sure if he wants to discuss it with the boy now. Then again, will Sirius want to speak about his family turmoil with him later when it is even worse if he doesn't show any interest now? No, he wont. With that thought in mind, Severus asks, "Things with your parents aren't getting better?"
The boy's face darkens. "They keep pushing me to be this person I'm not. You'd have thought getting sorted into Gryffindor would have shown them I'm different, but they think it's all just rebellion." He snorts. "Rebellion would be getting a tattoo or sneaking into Muggle clubs." He brightens a fraction then as he tells him, "Narcissa says after she marries next summer I can start to stay with her during hols."
"You realize she's marrying Lucius Malfoy?" says Severus, uncertain, even with all of his vast experience and knowledge, how staying in a home with a true Death-Eater is better than living with what amounts to Death-Eater supporters. Neither are great options, but it's quite clear to Severus that one's a shade worse than the other.
Sirius nods. "He's kind of a prick," Sirius replies in agreement. "I know he thinks a lot like mother and father too, of course, but Narcissa tells me I'll find him downright bearable compared to them." He smirks impishly and adds, "'Specially once she tells him to let me be."
Severus considers Sirius's words and realizes he (and Narissa) are quite right. He knew Lucius fairly well in his first lifetime. He did quite a bit in the name of pleasing his wife. Allowing Sirius to spend his summers and Christmases with them and not being a huge git that shoves Pureblood propaganda down his throat is a pretty small request in the grand scheme of things. Even more so when compared to some of the other requests Narcissa made over the years. Mostly, for Lucius, it comes down to avoiding the boy when possible and not making too many disparaging remarks about Gryffindor or is lack of Pureblood propriety.
Though, Severus has to wonder what Voldemort will think of Lucius housing a reprobate in his manor. Lucius better have a clever lie in place for that one.
"Brill," he says, trying to imbue his words with an impressed sort of feeling.
Sirius smiles back, pleased with the compliment.
-o-O-o-
Severus,
Your father is dead. You may write me whenever you like now.
Mother
He reads the paper over and over, disbelieving. How can his father be dead? He was alive well into Severus's twenties in his first lifetime. He'd survived his mother by nearly a decade in spite of how much he drank, smoked, and went about in a mad mood,. What has happened?
"Severus? What's wrong? You look a bit ill…"
His attention snaps to Sage, who sits across from him at the Slytherin house's table in the Great Hall, a worried furrow is fixed between his brows. Severus doesn't know what to say. What can he say? His father's dead. It's not sad news, but neither is it happy news. It's— It's empty news. Yes, that's it. Severus does feel rather hollow all of a sudden. Shoving the letter into his pocket, he gets to his feet and says, "I just need some air."
Sage makes to get up. Severus motions for the boy to stay instead. "I won't be long."
The boy reluctantly does as asked. Once he's sure he won't spring up and follow him, Severus turns his back and hurries out of the hall. Once out of view of the Great Hall, he runs. Severus runs and runs until he's in the owlery. For a moment, he curses the fact he doesn't have a quill. Then, he draws his wand and transfigures a crate into a Muggle pen. Picking it up, he flips over his mother's letter and considers what to write.
Finally, he decides on:
When? How?
There are so many other things he wants to ask. Like, What now? Does she want him to come and live with her again? Is she going to leave their townhouse on Spinner's End and come live in the Magical World now? Has she held a funeral? Does Aunt Vesta know? What about her father? As much as he wants an answer to these questions, Severus is afraid to ask too many. Almost as far back as he can remember, his parents' relationship has been antagonistic. They rowed frequently and sometimes Dad would slap her around. All of the kind gestures directed at one another that he'd witnessed Severus can count on one hand.
Even so, Mum insists she loved him. In fact, she loved him so much she would pick Dad over him. Despite all he had done to her and him. He swallows back a bitter lump and pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind. Now is not the time to brood over things that cannot be changed. Severus wants answers first. He calls over an owl and ties the letter to its ankle.
"Take this to Eileen Snape on Spinner's End in Cokeworth."
The owl chirps and takes off. Severus stays rooted to his spot and watches until it is nothing but a dot in the sky.
-O-
When Severus returns to the Great Hall some fifteen minutes later, the first thing Sage asks is, "Where did you go?"
"Like I said, I just needed some air," he lies. "I'm feeling rather poorly today. I might go back to our dorms after breakfast and skip Charms." Feigning a look of pleading, he asks, "You'll take notes for me, won't you?"
"We're reviewing today. I don't think there will be notes," Sage replies.
He nods. "Good day to be ill then, wouldn't you agree?"
The boy frowns at him, clearly suspicious. "Sure," he says.
Severus tries to draw him into a conversation about other topics, but his cousin rebuffs his attempts and spends the rest of their breakfast staring at his plate. When the meal begins to draw to a close, Severus watches him pick up his satchel and leave without even a goodbye. He sighs. He can't understand it. Why is Sage upset with him? He's never pushed him to talk about things he doesn't want to, why should Severus have to speak so freely about things he'd rather not?
Sometimes, others make no sense to him.
At this time, it looks like I'll have one more chapter for year three. How did you like this one? Good? Bad? Meh?
Thank you all a ton for reading :)