They Didn't Know We Were Seeds
After trying to persuade Sage to tell him why he's cross several times over the rest of the day, Severus makes the tactical choice to take a step back. If Sage wants to be angry, he can be angry. It doesn't seem to be the type of fury that will grow into a grudge and that's all that matters to him. He knows it'll fade with time and they'll go back to the way things were. Of course, Lily doesn't agree.
The next morning, when Severus and Lily are walking to the Great Hall for breakfast they cross paths with Sage. The boy's expression instantly darkens and he turns around to go back to the Slytherin dorms rather than hurry to them to take up the free spot on Severus's left.
Lily raises a fretful hand to her cheek. "Is he all right?"
"He's cross about something," replies Severus in an even, almost bored tone. "He won't say what. It's probably best to just let him get over it in his own time."
She saddles him with a look that seems to imply he's an imbecile. "Have you tried asking him why?"
"Yes!" he snaps, sneering at her. Severus may not have had many functional friendships over the years, but he isn't so inexperienced he doesn't know to ask something as simple as "what's wrong?".
His friend sighs at him. "Did you ask him what crawled up his arse? Or use some other lovely phrase?"
"No," Severus growls, agitated she would ever think him so uncouth.
She narrows her eyes, assessing him further before asking, "Did you demand he explain why he's upset with you?"
He scowls. "I just said, 'Tell me what it is I've done so I know what I need to apologize for'!"
Lily shakes her head at him in the way an exasperated mother might. "Go on to breakfast," she says. "I'll see if Sage is willing to talk to me. Perhaps we can settle before it begins to fester."
"You're sure?" Severus returns, snide, but also uneasy. Would Lily asking Sage what's got him in such a cross mood get him an answer? Or would it make everything worse?
She nods. "Go," she insists, shooing him in the direction of the Great Hall.
Reluctantly Severus goes. He only glances over his shoulder once to check on Lily, who's speeding off after Sage's shrinking back. He rubs his forehead to ward off an approaching headache and heads into the noisy hall.
Just as he finishes putting a serving of beans on his plate, an owl swoops low and drops a letter into his breakfast. Severus sends the bird a glare before he puts the spoon back in its dish and picks up the letter instead. His stomach drops when he realizes it's Muggle parchment. This letter is from Mum. Opening it, he reads the succinct message inside:
Dear Severus,
In regard to your questions, your father died two days ago. I don't know how. I went to the corner store to pick up tea and floor polish and when I returned I found him sprawled out in the front room. I called an ambulance and he was taken to hospital. The Muggle healers initial impression is it may have been a heart attack or an aneurysm of some kind as there is no visible cause of death. Personally, I'm not convinced. They say they will inform me of the exact cause after the coroner examines him. I should hear back today or tomorrow.
Speaking of the coroner, once I receive a call from him or someone from hospital about the cause of your father's death, I will be leaving to stay with cousin Vesta. Any further letters you wish to send should be owled to the Montague Estate.
If everything goes accordingly, I will accompany Vesta to retrieve you and Sage from King's Cross in a few weeks time.
Mum
Severus folds up the letter and shoves it in the robe of his pocket. He stares blankly at his food, no longer hungry. Under different circumstances, Severus would think little of their being no outward signs of death. Dad had died from a heart attack in his first lifetime, after all. But now? Severus suspects something foul. Especially so given his mother's words.
Personally, I'm not convinced.
Mind working overtime to think of potential causes for what (or, rather, who) could have caused his dad's death, Severus doesn't even notice Lily, face full of rage and hurt, approaching him. In fact, he doesn't even notice her when she's panting heavily overtop his head. Or when she growls his name. It's only when she grabs his shoulder that he reacts.
He twists out of her hold with all of the ease of one who's used to being caught from behind. Drawing his wand in one quick, smooth motion, Severus shoots off a finger-removing jinx. It effectively makes it both impossible for the girl to grab him again or for her to grab her wand.
"Severus!" she gasps as he comes to his senses and remembers this isn't a war zone.
Blinking at the sight of a shocked, fingerless Lily, Severus hurriedly casts the counter. "Shit," he says. "I didn't know it was you."
Pale from shock and fear, she curls and uncurls her fingers for a moment, saying nothing. Finally, eyes taking on a look of steely determination, she tells him, "You, I, and Sage need to have a discussion right now about what type of information can be kept secret and which needs to be shared immediately."
Still not quite fully in the present, Severus nods. He gets to his feet and follows Lily out of the Great Hall. Both so dazed with their respective problems (Severus, with his father's death, and Lily, with Severus and his reluctance to share his troubles) they fail to notice fellow students whispering about them and are completely oblivious to the professors watching their retreating backs.
-O-
Lily takes him to their classroom. Sage is there, curiously looking at a couple of potions Severus is brewing. It's on the tip of his tongue to turn around and scold the girl. This is supposed to be their space. Now, it's not. Sage knows about it, might come looking for it later. Severus will have to be careful about what he brews and what types of notes and books he leaves lying around from now on.
When Lily clears her throat, Sage immediately turns his full attention to them. Having been told on their way to the room by Lily that Sage received a letter from his mother informing him of the death of Severus's father shortly after Severus got his own, the first thing he asks is, "Why didn't you say anything?"
Sage frowns. "Why didn't you say anything?"
He looks at Lily. She glares back at him. Wincing at the hard stare, he returns his gaze to Sage whose expression is perhaps even more furious than Lily's. Finally, he whispers, "I don't know."
"We're mates, no, we're family," says Sage. A look of hurt flashes across his features. "Don't you trust me?" He glances to Lily. "Us?"
He turns his attention to his wand, which he still holds in hand. He tightens his grip on it, drawing comfort from the knowledge it can protect him. "Yes." He truly does too. More than he ever trusted Albus in his last lifetime, even. Yet it's not enough. Severus has been burned too many times by those he put his faith. Some things, no, many things are difficult for him to talk about. His father being one of them.
Lily comes to stand beside Sage. Softly, she questions, "Then why have you been keeping your father's death a secret from us?"
"I planned to tell you," he informs them. "I was going to tell you after I had more to say than he's dead."
Lily sighs. "We don't need a report, Sev. Whatever you know the moment you find out something big like this is enough."
"But—"
Sage, voice sharp and firm, cuts over him. "No! There is no reason for you to keep something like this a secret!" He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I – We – want to help you, like you help us. But we can't when you keep things like this to yourself!"
Severus feels at a loss as what to say. People haven't wanted to hep him without an ulterior motive for far too long. He doesn't know if there is a right thing to say, either. Finally, after a moment of silence, he murmurs, "I'm sorry."
Shoulders losing their rigidity, Lily says, "You're forgiven."
"Just don't do this again, okay?" Sage pleads, voice no longer cutting.
He nods. "I won't."
Lily bites her lip briefly, then, asks, "Are you all right? I know your dad and you weren't close, but…"
"I'm fine," he replies. "I won't have to worry so much about Mum anymore." He looks to his cousin. "She's going to stay with Aunt Vesta now."
The other boy nods. "Mother mentioned that in her letter yesterday."
"Well, if your feelings change, we're here for you, okay?"
"Yes, okay."
-o-O-o-
Later that day Severus and Sage are intercepted on their way to the Great Hall for dinner by Horace. Expression pitying, he says, "The Headmaster wishes to see you in his office."
The boys share a look. "About?" Sage asks.
"It's a family matter," he replies evasively.
Severus frowns. He knows what that means. "I see. Thank you, sir."
Together, they go to the office. When they enter, they find Sage's mother and Albus waiting for them. The two are talking in low tones by the fireplace. When they enter the room, the old man turns a sympathetic smile on them. It makes Severus's hackles rise. He did not like the pitying looks when his mother died in his first lifetime and he likes these ones even less.
His father was a bastard and Severus is happier he's dead again than he is upset that once again the man died by a hand that isn't his.
"Mr. Montague, Mr. Snape," he greets. "I'm afraid I'm out of lemon sherberts currently, but I have some skeletal sweets in my desk if you'd like me to retrieve them."
"No, thank you, sir," Sage answers for the both of them. He next looks at his mother. "Why are you here, Mother?" he inquires.
"The funeral for Severus's father is tomorrow," says Aunt Vesta. "I've come to retrieve you two. You and I will be accompanying your Aunt Eileen and Severus for emotional support."
His cousin's words reverberate inside Severus's head. A funeral? His father had barely deserved a marked grave (and Severus had only decided on that in the end because he wanted something to spit on for when he got pissed and reminisced on his lackluster childhood). Crossing his arms, he declares, "I'm not going."
The woman gapes at him. "What do you mean you're not going? This is not a choice! Your mother needs you in her time of grief!"
Resentment and anger towards his mother he's kept carefully boxed away now burning brightly in his chest, Severus spits, "I needed Mum to pick me over Dad last year, but that didn't happen!"
Aunt Vesta expression turns to one of pure heartbreak. "Severus, you have every right to be upset about what occurred, but don't do this now. This is a hard time for everyone. It's easier to get through it as a family than it is alone."
He clasps hands with Sage and raises them in the air. He thinks of Lily. Sirius, and Narcissa too. They are the people he cares about. Who maybe care about him too. "I have all the family I need right here."
Sage stares wide-eyed at him as the Montague woman begins to tear up. Albus, who's been quietly watching them this entire time, remarks, "Funerals are a chance for closure, Mr. Snape. If you do not go, you may find yourself regretting it later."
Severus glares at the old man. "The only thing I'm ever going to regret is never having the chance to stand up to him before he died." Returning his attention to his Aunt Vesta, he says quieter, perhaps even gently, "Mum doesn't need me there. Probably doesn't even want me at it. She never even mentioned a funeral in her letter to me today. Having you there for her will be more than enough. Believe me, Aunt Vesta."
She dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief she pulled out her robe pocket. Her lip lower lip quivers, but she nods. "Very well. If this is truly what you want, I'll go."
"It is," he tells her.
Tucking away her handkerchief, she steps forward and bestows upon each of their foreheads a kiss. By next spring, Severus suspects she'll no longer be able to kiss either of their foreheads without them having to stoop down to her height. Her eyes are still sad as she steps back, but he thinks he sees pride lurking somewhere in her gaze. "I will see you two next at King's Cross."
"Goodbye, Mother," Sage murmurs.
She nods. "Goodbye, my boys." She then turns to Albus. "Thank you for your time, sir."
The old man takes one of the Montague woman's hands and gives it a brief, empathetic squeeze. "You're very welcome, Mrs. Montague. My condolences to you and your family."
"Thank you."
Severus, Sage, and Albus stand in a half-circle around the fireplace and watch her leave. When she's gone, he looks to the headmaster. "May we leave, sir? We have yet to eat dinner."
"Of course," he says. "Mister Snape, if you need anything during this difficult time—"
Firmly, Severus shakes his head. "I won't, thank you."
When the two of them are back in Hogwarts's corridors, walking toward the Great Hall, Sage turns to him and asks, "Your father was really awful, wasn't he?"
Severus doesn't look at his cousin. "He was a bastard. Hated magic. Hated that I was a wizard instead of a Muggle. Hated that Mum never told him she was a witch before they married. He felt she trapped him in a lie."
"I'm sorry."
Severus turns and grabs his cousin. "Don't," he tells him. "It's not something to be sorry about. As terrible as it all is, I'm glad for it. I wouldn't exist otherwise." And if Severus didn't exist, the future would be lost. But he doesn't tell the boy this part. Perhaps he never will, either.
Sage seems to understand. "Okay," he says. He then turns his gaze to somewhere down the corridor. "Come on, let's hurry to the Great Hall. Dinner will be finished soon."
I was wrong, guys. This won't be the last chapter for year three. The next one will be for sure (I hope). So, what did you like about this chapter? Anything you all didn't care for?
Thank you everyone for reading, I appreciate it immensely :)