Chapter 7: Compromises
"How long have you been a doctor?"
They made him relive his life before her, interrogating him about his childhood, his relationships with friends and family, his love-life, everything they seemed to want to know.
"Tell us about your father. Christian right?"
As he recounted the troubles with his alcoholic father, she could only sit helplessly, feeling memories of his fireside grief flood her aching heart along with nightmares from her own past. The tears started when his voice filled with a weight she had never heard before, even during the moments when she had fleeting glimpses of the Jack inside the hero exterior he put on for the rest of them.
"What happened to him?"
She felt it slide down her cheek, blazing a slippery trail against her skin, and fall from the line of her jaw to the dirt by her knees. Then another fell, making its way down the same path, dampening its trail as if trying to carve its permanence in her face. She tried to hang on to his gaze but his repentant stare could only hold her commiserating eyes for so long until he picked a spot on the dirt floor and turned all his attention to it. She knew her tears were burning him just as badly as they were burning her cheeks, a hot brand labeling them both as betrayers.
"Is that why you were on the plane?"
And he was reducing himself to this because of her. The cycle was back. They always got hurt because of her. She was like bad luck, a jinx, a curse to everyone she had ever met. It had started with Sam, and Diane, and then Tom, and then the Marshal, and now Jack.
"How did you get to be their leader?"
But this man before her now was everything she's known he'd kept balled inside of him and nothing to what she had expected. If there was ever a definition of broken, she was getting it told to her piece by unbearable piece. Damaged goods… both of us. The comment seemed like another ironic twist of fate laughing at them in mockery.
"Tell us about Sarah."
She wanted to scream, to fight, to run far and fast until her lungs burned with the rapid intake of oxygen and her legs felt like jelly. She wanted to cry and rage and kick and then scream some more at the unfairness of it all. Instead she sat and drowned herself in her own tears, watching him struggle with the story of his marriage. That was all she could do.
The silence in the hut was thick and stuffy and for a moment nobody moved. Kate felt like she was trying to breathe when the air was saturated with the weight of humidity; she wasn't sure if that was because of the tension or maybe some side effect of the drug. Then a voice sliced through the fog, its nasal tone as sharp as a knife.
"That's enough for today."
Henry turned to leave with Bea close behind him, but he turned suddenly to address Pickett.
"Take her back and make sure she's secured…"
"No!"
Everyone wheeled at the outburst, surprise evident in everyone's face. Despite his flushed and tear-tracked face, Jack's anger and confidence was back. He managed to swallow back some of his rage and Kate saw the familiar abrupt shake of his head. "No," he repeated.
There was an aggression in his voice Kate had never heard before. It came from low in his throat, like the warning territorial growl of a dog when fending off would-be attackers from its bone. Seeing this side of Jack was slightly unnerving, yet somehow she found it strangely comforting.
Henry smiled incredulously, first at the doctor and then at his fellow comrades.
"And what makes you think you can tell us what to do?" He approached Jack, his smile never once leaving his pale and scratched face. "You're not in charge anymore Jack."
"That drug won't wear off for another hour and a half, at least," Jack said. "How do I know you won't go back on your word?"
Kate felt the raw panic snatch again at her breath as the reminder of her situation was voiced clear enough, if not directly, to the room again. Her eyes flicked nervously back and forth and she caught the amusement in Henry's face as he fixed his captive with a condescending stare.
He held the look for a long moment and just when Kate thought he was going to laugh that amusement out loud, he surprised them all.
"All right, Jack."
He motioned some obscure hand signals and Tom rushed towards Jack, bending to sever the ties at his wrists. She felt herself being dragged to her feet and the transfer of Pickett's hurtful hands to Jack's firm hold against her shoulders. Jack held her tight against his body, his arms wrapped around her fiercely as if daring one of them to try to separate her from him again. She shuddered, finally letting her fear take hold now that she could drop her pretense at bravery.
"But only until it wears off."