The Diego Diaries: Diego (dd8 72)
=0=On the sunny shores of paradise … (insert steel band here)
Ratchet stepped out into the sunshine of mid morning on Diego Garcia. It was as beautiful as ever and a pang of homesickness for it flashed through his chassis. He glanced back, then chuckled. Behind him was a determined yet jaunty appearing Prowler. Behind Prowl came about half the Autobot Army from the looks of it.
Prowl paused in front of Ratchet with a smirk of moral superiority. The usual one.
"Where's Prime. You know he wants to be here," Ratchet asked as he smirked back.
"I messaged him, actuall-"
They glanced across the tarmac as a bridge appeared. Out of it stepped Optimus Prime and Jetta. They glanced around as the bridge disappeared, then grinned at the massing group across the way. Walking toward them, they halted before the assembled multitude. "What brought you here besides my charisma?" Prime asked with a grin.
Huge laughter and rudeness greeted that as it seemed the entire human base was either emptying out of buildings or running/walking/jogging/driving toward their assembled direction. Everyone glanced down and around, then back to Prime.
He grinned at the slaggers, then glanced at Ratchet. "Why are we here?" he asked sweetly.
HUGE raucous laughter greeted that as everyone turned toward Ratchet.
He grinned back. "Why, I have to grab Cameron Frazer who so eloquently told me of his personal opinions and ideas about our people and slag like that." He smiled brilliantly.
"Oh frag," Springer said as Drift nodded. "That shit."
"What did he say, Ratch?" Devcon asked.
Ratchet who was still smiling shot the video to everyone in the group. Seconds later, their smiles were replaced with something a lot less friendly. "Any questions?" he asked.
"Do we have to bring him in dead or alive?" Hercy asked only half kidding.
"You're asking me?" Ratchet said through his brilliant smile.
Huge commentary broke out as the masses gathered around them. Humans watched with delight as they chattered. There hadn't been this many Autobots here, especially the famous ones let alone Prime in eons. The grapevine was spinning out of control all over the base and the ships anchored in the harbor.
=0=At the Officer's Club nearby
They sat together having a great meal and a drink, chattering about life in and out of the service. A British, French and Canadian general visiting the base had joined Fulton for lunch. John Fulton laughed, compared notes about the army life as they had a good time together. Today was beautiful and as mellow as could be. When they came in your week you grabbed them with both hands.
An aide came through the door, whispered in Fulton's ear, then grinned.
Fulton grinned back, then looked at his companions. "Someone just showed up from Mars. Why, I don't know but let's go meet them," he said as he rose.
The group gathered together to walk down the sidewalk toward the Autobot Embassy. They would see the bots before they got halfway there. They would also see that half the base, civilian and military, had already gone to greet them. It would be a normal day for Fulton and one of the best days of the others in service.
=0=Bots
"So, we came here to grab one scrawny smart aft human?" Raptor asked.
"Appears so. I asked for only the best looking mechs to come as my personal escort and bodyguard," Ratchet said as the Embassy garrison began to join them including Smokey the Twinkle in his Grandgenitor's optics and others who did duty at the shuttle bridge access point to Diego for humans.
"Well, that explains me," Sun said as he glanced around. "What about the rest of you?"
HUGE outrage and squealing greeted that as they weighed in on body image and Sun's need for optical enhancement. By then, Fulton and his friends made their way forward to pause beside Ratchet. "HEY!"
Everyone looked downward.
"Hi," Fulton said to huge laughter from both sides of the alien divide. "What brings all of you here? Not that I'm complaining, of course."
"I've come to arrest a human, Johnny. You don't mind to you?" Ratchet asked with his best smile, one that dazzled all the bots but did nothing really for the humans. They just thought he looked 'cute, like Ratchet, you know?'. There wouldn't be a non-Cybertronian ped curl in the bunch.
John Fulton stared upward at Ratchet a moment, then shrugged. "No."
Laughter exploded in the huge crowd as even more arrived including what seemed like half the marines and sailors from the vessels in the harbor.
Optimus bent down and offered his servo.
Fulton glanced at the others, then gestured. "Our chariot arrives."
The generals stared at him, then awkwardly climbed on followed by Fulton. Up they went to the rarefied heights of the bots. Sitting on Prime's hand, the humans studied the face of the most unlikely alien they'd ever seen, then saw in his optics and relatably handsome face what everyone else saw in Prime, absolute rock hard integrity and a graceful kindly humanity.
"Who is the man you're going to arrest, Ratchet?" Fulton asked. "I sorta have to know."
"The lovely Cameron Frazer. He breached an order not to leave Earth2 because of a problem we're investigating. He's rather a willful little slagger if I say so myself."
Fulton laughed. "So you came to grab him just like that? He's on Earth. I'm not sure your jurisdiction stretches that far."
"Then he's yours," Ratchet said with another of his dazzling smiles.
Everyone of the bots grinned at him, admiring the view, then they glanced at Fulton who didn't appear too put out by the way things were going.
"Uh, take him," Fulton said with a chuckle.
"We may not be able to do that, John, if he resists or does not surrender. We would have to leave him here for you until we can extradite him to Mars. I would ask that now to extradite him. If he will not come, I want him compelled because as Prime I can," Prime said.
Huge laughter.
"Do you have the paperwork?" Fulton asked.
"No," Prime said with a grin.
Huge laughter erupted, then subsided as the crowds below watched and listened, some with binoculars.
"Well, we do appear to have a diplomatic standoff. Perhaps we can ask the offending party to surrender to you," Fulton said.
"Fat chance," Raptor said with a chuckle. "Want me to get him? You know ya wanna." He grinned at Fulton who he loved and Fulton grinned at Raptor who he loved.
"Sure," Fulton said.
HUGE laughter greeted that as Raptor looked over the posse. "I want Blackjack to come. He could use the lessons. Lon and Bezel, you, too. I want you to see how a dire interplanetary diplomatic incident is born." (HUGE laughter) "Ratch, you can come to dazzle them with your beauty."
Ratchet smiled, then preened a bit.
HUGE laughter arose from the punters.
"Turbine, you, too. We might need prayers," Raptor said as he began to step closer toward the administration building. "By the way," Raptor said as he glanced back at the group. "Where is he?"
HUGE laughter.
Everyone pointed to the administration building so he began to swagger toward it with his delegation. Humans moved aside like a tidal pool draining before the Magnificence That Was Raptor™.
He reached the building, then peered inside. The offices were empty. Everyone was outside. A number of humans pointed down the way so he ambled there with his mechs to pause halfway. He glanced at the humans who clapped with applause. Grinning, he peered inside. "HEY! IS THAT YOU, FRAZER!?" he shouted.
=0=Inside
Cam Frazer felt rather than saw someone looking at him, then he heard "HEY! IS THAT YOU, FRAZER!?"
He nearly jumped out of his skin.
=0=Outside
Raptor glanced back at the bots and the humans with Prime. "FOUND HIM!"
God level laughter and applause greeted that.
=0=Inside
Frazer stared at the apparition in the window, then speed dialed Harris. He listened a moment, then hung up. He gathered his stuff, put it into a locker by the door, then locked it up. Walking to the window, he looked out. Everywhere he could see there were humans in masses and near the Embassy were a huge number of Autobots. Everyone was staring directly at him.
He glanced up and noted that Raptor was here, or at least he thought it was. All of the mechs in Ironhide's family looked alike to him. Behind him was two mechs he remembered from the horse patrol and another mech who looked like Ironhide but was taller and less bodily dense. Maybe Turbine from the Temple or something. Ratchet who was standing beside Turbine smiled and waved at him. He frowned to see it. "What do you want, Raptor? What the hell is going on?"
"I'm here to take your surrender, slagger," Raptor said with big grin on his face. "How about going easy on yourself."
"Fuck you," Frazer said. His voice carried over the crowd who gasped with surprise.
Raptor noted that, then grinned. "Apparently, you can't read the room, slagger. IF THERE IS ANYONE HERE WHO WANTS TO STAND UP FOR THIS SLAGGER, TAKE A STEP FORWARD!"
Everyone in the crowd either stayed in place or took a step backward.
Raptor grinned at them, then Frazer. "Looks like you don't play well with others. On the other hand, I, RAPTOR, *DO* PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS!" he bellowed to an incredible roar of the crowd.
"I love that mech," Fulton said as he sat on Prime's servo.
"I do, too," Optimus replied to huge laughter in the group.
"WHAT NOW!? DO WE GRAB HIM!?" Smokey the Immensely Younger said with ENORMOUS infant zeal.
Dev smirked at him, then shrugged. "What would you do, infant?"
Smokey glanced at the God of his Universe, Devcon the Incredibly Skilled. "I'd rip the roof off."
"Been done," Ironhide said to ENORMOUS laughter.
Among those laughing the loudest was John Fulton.
"John, what's going to happen here?" General Stanley of the UK asked. This was out of his experience, goofing around on a foreign base, provoking an international and interplanetary incident with aliens.
Like that.
"I don't know but its fun," Fulton said as the mechs around them agreed.
Prime himself grinned, then nodded. "I think I agree, too."
=0=Inside
Frazer stood in the window staring at Raptor. He decided to go for broke. Harris wanted intel. He would get intel. "Fuck off, Raptor. You have no power here."
"Now that's not nice. I'm a visitor. You should be nicer to your best allies," Raptor said with amusement.
The humans watching had ratcheted into something a little less amused given the turn of events. It was still the GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN HERE IN SOME TIME but Frazer appeared to be playing with death to most of them and he wasn't getting into the spirit of things. Of course, they weren't the object of an enormous alien's wrath either.
So ...
"I don't care what you think, you big fucking tin can."
"That's my fucking tin can you're insulting," Turbine said with a smirk.
"Thanks, Only One. I think," Raptor said with a laugh. He grinned at Frazer. "Does your mommy know you talk like that?"
"At least I have one. You fuckers … what the fuck is with you anyway?" Frazer asked.
The human crowd was silent now as all of them watched the show with a growing sense of doom.
For Frazer.
"I have a mommy. My mommy can pile drive your mommy into the ground without breaking a sweat," Raptor said as he glanced back at the Autobots and humans by the Embassy. "HEY! MOMMY! I'M RIGHT! YEAH!?"
Delphi grinned, then waved his servo. "That's my little boy," he said with a smirk as the crowd roared with laughter.
Raptor turned back to Frazer. "Keep going. I haven't had so much fun since I flunked Philosophy 101 in the University. Tell me more, Sage One."
Frazer who was getting his own groove going leaned against the window jamb. "When you came I thought you were a joke. Cars that could talk and turn into robots. What a sorry specimen you are."
"Well, we've only been spacegoing since the beginning of time and you can't find the moon with both hands. So …" Raptor said as he settled in to trade barbs with a totally amusing alien fragger.
=0=TBC 01-22-2021