They Didn't Know We Were Seeds
With the time for back-to-Hogwarts shopping upon them, Severus has set up a day, time, and point of meeting with Lily in Diagon Alley. It's Aunt Vesta who is taking him and Sage to shop, however. Boyd is working today and doesn't have time to take them. As for his mother… She disappeared shortly before he and Lily settled on a date last week. Oh, she left a letter promising to be back in time to see Severus and Sage off to Hogwarts, but, until then, it's like she never came back into his life at all.
He thinks he should be upset by this knowledge, but all he feels is hollowness. He's so used to the pain she inflicts on him that he is numb. The thought makes him shift uncomfortably in the chair where he waits for Sage to finish brushing his hair in the loo. He's not felt such a numbness since the war. Since his last dealings with likes of the Carrows, of Voldemort. Forcibly shoving the thought to the back of his mind, he imagines a chest and locks the notion inside and uses legilimency to shield his mind from the traitorous thought.
His mother is being poorly behaved. She is not a sadistic sociopath or psychopath. She knows love (as warped and unnatural as some parts of it are), happiness, and morals. To compare her to Death Eaters and Voldemort is just evil.
"I'm ready," says Sage, walking out of the loo.
Severus all but leaps to his feet. "Come on then," he replies. "Your mother might come here if we leave her waiting too long."
-o-O-o-
He spots Lily first. It really hasn't been all that long since he last saw her. Just shy of three weeks. Even so, he notices the compilation of summer changes in her appearance all the same. Much like himself, she's grown taller these past few month. Though, not as much as himself (as should be expected). Her previously, slim, girlish figure has begun to gain curves that it previously lacked and her chin looks more pointed than he last recalls. Lily looks much more like a woman than she does a child these days.
Partly out of jealousy, but mostly protective instincts, he looks around to see if there is anyone else staring at her. He spies a couple of gangly teens glancing in her direction, but they have yet to approach. Likely, they are working up the courage to chat Lily up. Frowning severely at the thought, he gives Sage a jab in the side and says, "There's Lily."
He looks away from whatever it was that had captured his attention and to where Severus is pointing. "So she is," he murmurs.
"Come on."
They approach speedily, dodging groups who clog the street talking or families looking confusedly at lists for Hogwarts. Once or twice, they pull each other out of the way of purposefully walking old men or little children who are not watching where they are going. Finally, when they are less than a yard away from Lily, she sees them.
"Severus!" she shouts. Oblivious to all else, she runs to meet them and throws her arms around him. "I know it hasn't been so long, but oooh! I missed you!"
While he wraps an arm around her to return the embrace, he looks over her head to the teenagers he'd spotted previously. Their expressions are a mixture of glum frustration. Severus smirks. They know now that Lily is not going to give them the time of day.
When she lets him go, she turns to Sage. "Hiya, sage. How are you?" she asks.
"Well, thank you," he replies, dipping his head in acknowledgment for the question.
She rolls her eyes and pulls him into a short, gentle hug. "Come on, Sage. We're mates, aren't we?"
His brother looks at him, eyebrows raised.
Severus grins widely at Sage. While they only spend a fraction of the same amount of time together as he and Lily do, Sage should know Lily well enough by now to know denying her this is tantamount to giving a challenge. If he doesn't agree, Lily will find a way to make it so or prove that they are in fact mates.
"Yes, I suppose we are," answers the boy with a sigh.
Lily laughs as she pulls away.
"Where's your family?" Severus asks, looking around for Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans and Petunia.
A sheepishness comes to her countenance. "Ah, I hope you don't mind, but when I told James I was going to meet up with you two for back-to-school shopping, he asked for the day and if Petunia was going to come. I didn't think it right to lie. 'Tuney quite likes him."
He rolls his eyes. But, really, it's just a minor irritation. Not enough to ruin the day (it's odd, but in their first lifetime it would have been). "It's fine."
"So where are they?" questions Sage, craning his neck to look around the extremely busy street.
Lily looks down the Diagon a little to the left. "Menagerie's. James wanted to show 'Tuney the baby nifflers they have for sale." Then, with a slightly disparaging tone, she remarks, "And Mum and Dad couldn't possibly let them go alone."
"Don't trust him, do they?" Severus asks.
She shrugs. "He is a bit reckless. And I think my parents were worried he'd let her get too close to some of the less friendly creatures in the shop if they weren't there to supervise."
Severus nods. "That does sound like something he would do."
Sage shoots him a confused look. "It does? How much time do you spend with James? You've never even invited him to our study group once, unlike that Peter lad he hangs out with, and the scarred that one time when he just couldn't wrap his head around a Transfiguration problem."
While Lily looks like a victim of a Petrificus Totalus, Severus smoothly says, "Lily talks about him quite frequently."
His brother's expression is still quite dubious, but he nods.
"Where's your Aunt Vesta?" Lily inquires an awkward moment of silence later.
"She's in Madam Primernelle's."
She begins to shuffle in place. "Is she joining us while we shop? No offense to either of you, but I know she's not a big fan of Muggles. I'd rather her not accidentally hurt my families feelings or something."
Or something is right, Severus thinks grimly. There will be no accidents on Aunt Vesta's part. If she wants to make her distaste shown, she will. Be damn the fact he and Lily are friends. Surprisingly, however, Sage is the one to put her fears to rest. "She gave me all the money for stuff," he replies. An apologetic look on his face, he explains, "I'm not supposed to say this, but we have unofficially tricked her into believing we are meeting up with wizards and witches of proper stock to shop with. We're going to meet back up with her at the pub at five." Looking down at his feet, he mumbles, "That way, if anyone sees us, she can feign ignorance and blame my presence with you on Severus and his muddy no good Muggle father's influence and blood."
He grits his teeth. "Everything's always appearance with her, isn't it?" Severus can't say he's really surprised, but it still stings a little to know he's a scapegoat for any and all of Sage's "bad" choices and behavior.
"I'm sorry," whispers his brother.
Severus gives his shoulder a squeeze. "It's not your fault. I know you're better than that."
Sage looks up, eyes cloudy with some sort of conflict as he smiles. "Yeah," he replies.
-O-
The three of them are exchanging increasingly exaggerated looks of exasperation as James starts in on a new joke.
"All you have to know for this one is that Malfoys are all Slytherins and Slytherins's mascot is a snake," he explains to a flush-cheeked, but rapt Petunia. With a devious grin, he asks, "How do Malfoys enter buildings?"
Lily's sister looks their way. Severus and Sage quickly school their features into bored masks as Lily only shakes her head at 'Tuney. Returning her attention to James, she asks, "How?"
"They Slyther-in!" he cries. Then, looking at them all, he asks, "Get it? Snakes slither and so do they!"
Petunia giggles, but Sage only sighs as Lily bites her lip. Severus can't really say he's all that impressed with the joke either. Then again, this was the twentieth or so James has told in the last hour. He really must be digging in the dredges of his tiny brain to be remembering these.
-O-
While Lily's parents are paying for her new quills for the year, the rest of them poke around and investigate the displays set up in Amanuensis Quill's just for the back-to-Hogwarts season. Out of the corner of his eye, Severus sees Petunia stroke a pheasant-feather quill admiringly. He briefly wonders if she has any at home. Probably not, he thinks. It's not like Muggles use them.
James abruptly pops up beside the teenager. "Do you like it? I can buy that for you. My family's rich."
Petunia startles and pulls her hand away. "No, it's quite alright…"
Ignoring her completely, James plucks the quill from its display and smiles blindingly at her. "Everyone can use at least one quill. Even if it's just for decoration in the end."
Severus leans over the display of sharpeners he's been browsing to whisper to Lily, "He's not very subtle, is he?"
"Has he ever been?" she returns. "He spent a good three years chasing me. Giving me things, flirting – badly – with me, and doing all kinds of stunts to just get my attention so I'd go on at least one date with him."
Wisely, Severus pulls away. Lily is starting to sound a little snippy. Evidently, the goodwill that caused her to invite James along on their shopping trip is beginning to wear off.
-O-
As James says goodbye to Petunia a little ways away, Lily, who stands beside Severus, with her arms crossed mutters, "Remind me to never invite James along on an trips into the Magical World with my family again. I wanted to show Petunia all of the wicked stuff we have in Diagon Alley. This is the first trip she's taken with us since my first year. That year she was in a big strop about me being a witch and getting to go to Hogwarts and didn't enjoy any of it."
He nods, biting his tongue. He suspects a bit more than just James stealing Petunia from her is what's soured her mood.
Sage, however, has no qualms about broaching the topic. "Are you sure that's why you're being so nasty? I mean, he certainly seems to like Petunia more than you…"
Lily's face takes on the scarlet hue of fury. She gives Severus's brother a less than a playful shove. "You're lucky I can't use my wand, Sage Montague! I'd hex you with beaver teeth!" she howls.
"Oi!" Severus snaps, stepping between the two.
However, before he can say anything more, Lily's mother swoops in. Mrs. Evans roughly grabs Lily's arm and orders, "You apologize to Sage this instance, young lady."
Looking terribly ashamed of herself, Severus's friend wilts in her mother's grip. "Sorry, Sage," mumbles Lily.
"It's fine," he replies, seemingly more bemused by everything than truly upset.
Face severe, Mrs. Evans tells Lily, "Say goodbye to your mates, we're leaving now."
Quickly, Lily does so. She hugs them each in turn and then approaches James, who she reluctantly shares a hug with too. Then, with one last wave, she walks off with her family, her mother's hand firmly planted on the back of her neck.
James turns his attention to Sage and Severus. "D'you think your mother would mind if I join you for dinner?"
Severus sighs in defeat. Sage, using the manners Aunt Vesta instilled in him since infanthood, nods. "No, not all. Please join us."
-o-O-o-
Up far later than either Montague, as per usual, Severus looks up from the novel he's reading when a tapping at his window starts. Padding over, he opens it to see an owl with a letter. Taking it, he opens the letter and reads:
Severus,
I want to apologize for how I acted today. I was completely out of line. I will send a proper apology to Sage tomorrow morning. I know how much he means to you. Especially since he was the one who was there for you after your talk with your mother.
It's entirely alright if you can't manage this, but is there any possibility you can sneak out of Boyd's and come to Cokeworth to see me after you get this letter? I really just want to talk with you about things.
With love,
Lily
Stuffing the letter on the bookcase by the fireplace, he goes to get his robe. Getting to Cokeworth won't be a problem. Either Montague noticing is highly unlikely too.
-O-
They are sitting on the overhang outside of Lily and Petunia's bedroom. It feels a bit like deja vu. Not even five years ago they were in this exact same spot discussing matters not all that different from today's. Lily shivers next to him as a breeze whips their hair into their faces. Taking off his robe, he hands it to her.
"No, Sev…"
"Take it," he insists.
After a moment of hesitation, Lily does so. Slipping it on, she hugs her arms around her middle and sighs. "You have the warmest robes."
"The Montagues are to thank for that."
She nods. "It's good, isn't it? That you have them, I mean."
"Yes, it really is," he agrees, thinking of his brother especially. Sage would be far worse off it things had played out the same between them as it had in their first lifetime.
"I really wasn't jealous," Lily grumbles.
He raises an eyebrow.
She sighs. "Just a little," she relents. "It's hard not to be. It was me he used to chase after. Once loved. Once married. Once had a child with." She sighs and scrubs a hand over her eyes. "I think, though, in some ways, this has made it easier to separate my James from this boy we know now. He's kinder, you know? He really doesn't tease too many others. Usually just a firstie or a mate on occasion. Even, then, it's all in good fun. No malicious intents, no hate, even when they're Slytherins he's poking."
"That's good, isn't it?" he asks, parroting Lily's words from earlier at her.
Lily settles her chin on her knees. "How can he become the man I loved again if he's changed so much?"
Severus shifts uneasily. "Lily…"
"What?" she demands when he falls silent, snapping up from her huddle to glare at him. "What, Severus?"
"You know everything we do changes things," he reminds her as gently as he can. "James is changed, you said it yourself. He's never going to be the man you loved."
Eyes big and dewy now, Lily's face crumples. Dragging her into his side, he holds as she sobs. After what feels like hours and when her cries begin to peter off, Lily rights herself and whispers, "I'm sorry."
"You're grieving," he replies.
She stares at him with a shaking mouth. "And you're not? Your mother's proved herself to be a woman far different from the one you thought she was hardly even two weeks ago."
He flinches.
Lily looks very sad and reaches for his hand. "I'm sorry. That was awful of me to bring up right now."
Severus shakes his head. "It's fine," he insists, doubling up the shields he has on that horrible thought from the morning. Giving Lily's hand a tight squeeze, he remarks, "We're in the same place right now. Both mourning over people who are here, but are never going to be who we thought we knew they were again. Everything is going to straighten itself out. We're not alone."
His friend nods, a wobbly smile stretching across her tear-streaked cheeks. "It's going to work itself out. We're not alone," she repeats in a half-reverent, half-relieved tone.
Severus returns the smile with a flash of a grin before turning his attention to the still dark sky above them. You never could see too many stars in Cokeworth. But, maybe together, he and Lily can find more than they ever managed to on their own in nights past staring up at the sky.
This is officially the last summer chapter. What did you think of it? Lily finally made a reappearance :) There was more James/Petunia too! Also, lots of Sage too.
Thanks for reading everybody!