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A.uthor's N.ote
ONESHOT.
I am an evil, evil person who gives into temptation, which includes writing about angst, suicide, and Axel being a selfish bastard, all on a random impulsive whim. I should be working on my story or drabble collections, but no, I'm not.
Kingdom Hearts and its characters do not belong to me. This was loosely inspired by all the angst fics I've been reading, and other things. I think I was dreaming when I wrote this; I don't recall or particularly care to.
Warnings: Angst/Tragedy. Hints of SoraxKairi and AxelxRoxas. T for character death ( suicide ).
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"Yes, murder was one thing: but suicide, genuine suicide, struck the hardest blow of all." – Diogenes Pendergast, The Book of the Dead.
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Death with a Capital D
(Just For You)
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No, it never rained on the beach. Nevertheless, water droplets multiplied like bacteria, falling in ghastly sheets as the sky turned the sickening blackish blue shade of a bruise. Rain thrummed, stiff strings beneath calloused fingers, creating its own rumble of thunder in his ears. His own fingers, gloved for an operation rather than a mission, drummed on the slick bark of a palm tree, adding to the raw music sprung from nature; and he imagined sunshine and warmth beneath half-closed eyelids. No, it never rained on the beach.
It hadn't been when he had come here two hours before. Milky clouds were forming in the east, though there was a lack of rain scent on the wind which had been blowing in the same direction. It was only after he had failed to capture Princess that God decided to be cruel and douse them both, innocents of the world. A slight smirk graced his lips. Innocent was a lie and it always was. How ironic and contradicting such a word could be. It rolled off tongues with sardonic bitterness.
When he had left, he had only retreated a few hundred yards inland, taking cover in a copse of trees. He was observing her now that he knew he couldn't steal her life – no, not just yet. From the time it began to rain, and then when it began to pour, he gathered that she was going to stay on the beach. And contemplate what?
Death, my friends. Death, with an accent on the D to make it a capital letter. For he had said something that made Kairi's little mind turn and churn more than it ever had before on previous days of pondering atop the sand. She was drenched and wallowing like he had first seen her, except that hadn't been literally speaking. He knew she was hurting or else he'd think her as insane to sit on the beach like a decaying lump of cancer during a thunderstorm.
And through loneliness and torment, Kairi was far from insane.
Why had his statement not driven her into insanity, then? Informing someone that their beloved was dead was complicated to ignore. He knew it, too – had experienced it first-handedly when they told him Roxas was unreachable. So he had reached out to him, but his hand hadn't been taken. Axel had failed that once and then once again when Kairi refused his luxurious invitation to come with him as bait to get Roxas back. If he had her, then Sora would come. And if Sora came, then Roxas would follow. They were, after all, nearly the same person. Every moon had a dark side to it.
But now he had a better plan. Live bait was only fresh for so long.
He figured he'd have to kill her to get his Roxas.
Funny how a person could affect another individual so much.
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She hadn't noticed the man lurking in the shadows, lying in wait and watching her; she had been too relieved of his departure to have such paranoid thoughts interrupting her steaming mind. And that's what she did as she sat there in the rain: she steamed. Cool water drops touched the warm blood from her scraped knee when she had tried to get up off the sand the wrong way and snagged it on a shell shard, nearly bubbling as though the mixture was something acidic. Kairi disregarded the reaction as her mind returned to the fated meeting with the tall redhead, playing it back with a surrealistic quality, like it were a dream.
God, how she wished that was true.
At first she had mistaken him as a flame, but what on earth would an inferno be doing spellbound in the air before her? She scrambled to her feet to greet the stranger who had materialized like a ghost. And if not for the hair, he could have been a ghost. One she had just summoned up out of desolation.
"Sora."
Her voice carried on the breeze, oddly hollowed. The waves she faced were reminding her too much of times before with the brunette, like they always did these days.
"I wish I could be with you now."
She clasped a Thalassa shell in her hand to her breast, and then quickly dropped it in surprise as the man appeared.
"If you have a dream, don't wait. Act. Right?"
When she did not answer, he clarified.
"One of life's little lessons. Got it memorized?" There was something threatening about this character, and she could instantaneously bring up thousands of conclusions why. His stooping height, thin frame, imposing black coat; his bright green eyes, tattoos, ketchup-coloured hair and sly knowing smirk were all factors that were out of the ordinary. Certainly this somebody did not come from Destiny Islands.
He seemed amused at her silence. "What, isn't this a public beach?"
This time, she was about to say something, but it froze in her throat. The man stared back at her, and then placed a hand on his hip.
"I know you aren't mute, sweetie. I heard you say something just a few moments ago. A name I know, in fact."
Kairi's lashes fluttered in a speedy succession of hope.
"S-Sora?"
"Lo, she speaks."
"Who are you?" Suspicion crept into her voice. Her hand was still flung across her chest, and she felt the thudding of her heart.
"The name's Axel. Sora, I knew him."
"Knew?" The Princess of Heart's violet eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'knew'?"
"Do you want to know?" He offered his hand – it stretched towards her, worlds away. "I can show you."
"No – I don't want to go with you. Just tell me!"
"Of course. Viewing corpses isn't exactly . . . pleasant."
Kairi's train of memory halted there. The rest was too hazy because now her vision blurred with a film of tears.
Sora, dead. Could it be possible? Was that man Axel telling the truth?
I wish you'd be here to prove to me he is, Sora. I'd give anything . . .
Now Axel was gone. She couldn't accept his offer of going to see Sora late. She had to know; why hadn't she just quit the stubborn act and went with him?
The teenager buried her head into her legs which she pulled up to her slight body, trying to disappear like Axel had. No matter how much she prayed, Sora did not come to her and she did not come to him.
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Axel decided to finally abandon his post of scrutinizing Kairi and go to Sora (who was not in fact dead, contrary to what Kairi dreaded). He was growing bored of his specimen. And when that happened, he had to find a new toy.
Inky blackness enveloped him as he warped to Hollow Bastion where he expected to find the Keyblade Master. On the way his mind buzzed like the mind of a playwright, setting up the performance before actually writing it down. Axel wanted drama. If there was going to be Death, then it had to have style so it could deserve its capital D. Kairi and Sora were his puppets and the characters of his play. He'd make them roll over and do tricks.
The boy was right where he had left him, fighting the battalions of Heartless and Nobodies the ex-Organization member had presented to him hours before. With the languid snap of his fingers, they dissipated in similar 'pop's like that of a machine gun.
Sora – panting – turned around slowly to face him. It wasn't caution that delayed his reactions, it was exhaustion. The fifteen year-old wobbled, about to tumble over. Axel was beside him in an instant, fast, and wrapped a supporting arm around his narrow shoulders.
"Here, I've got you." Such compassion to one whose heart he was soon going to ravage.
"T-thanks . . . wait." Through slit eyes, Sora had noticed the colour – or lack there of – of Axel's coat. "Organization XIII!"
How good it feels to be infamous, Axel mused.
"No sweat, kiddo. How about a treat for all that good work? You've earned it."
"What are you . . ."
"Take a break. Go home to Kairi. She misses you."
". . . Kairi!" Despite being weakened, he managed a slur of strength and shoved Axel away with an elbow. "What do you know about her?" More like, What have you done to her?
The hints of a smirk pealed Axel's lips as an arch of shadows was built behind him. "Really. I mean, she really misses you. To death." Before Sora could reply, the Nobody was gone.
'Death' in Sora's mind seemed to have a capital D.
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Kairi had persisted on staying at the beach. The storm had passed, just like all storms did – they blow in as soon as they blow away. The rain soaked into the sand, staining it darker like blood. The sky was still opaque. Her pain was immense and her heart still heavy.
Thereon wasting the idle hours away with what seemed like years (she reminded herself that it had been a year, after all – a year of waiting, a year of wanting and never getting), she tried to drag herself back to her feet and walk home. But in the process, her knee was re-cut by the cast away Thalassa shell, opening the small wound.
She stared dully at it, lifeless but for the blood flowing out of her ruined pores. A drop dripped onto the ground. In the dim light, it could have been mistaken as a stray raindrop – which there still was some lingering in the clouds.
Then her eyes moved to the lavender shell.
At once they switched back to the maroon tear.
"If you have a dream, don't wait. Act."
Axel's haunted words echoed in her ears with newfound meaning.
If Sora was alive, then he'd come here, right?
The tips of her fingers tentatively grazed the ridges of the seashell. So soft – could it possibly do any damage?
We'll see.
Kairi closed her eyes and picked it up. Was Sora watching her? What if he suddenly came? Her eyes flew open at the startling thought. But no one was there. She was alone.
Alone. A state she had never been in since last year, having so many friends to keep her company. Where were they now through all of this?
No one could help her. No one. She had to do this – by herself. No more helping helpless Kairi who missed Sora and Riku to the point of – self-destruction.
Pursing her strawberry glazed lips, she leaned over and used the sharpened point of the Thalassa fragment to etch something in the sand, soaked hard with water to make it an exceptional writing pad.
When she was done, she sat back upright. Her eyes were dreamy, unfocused and screwed up by tears that refused to fall.
Sora can't you see it's just for you just for you I wish you could see but you can't anymore because you're dead –
She raised the trembling shell to her throat.
So it doesn't really matter.
Its tip made a dimple in her clean white neck.
Whether I live or die.
The dimple slowly filled with a pinprick of burgundy as she applied pressure.
My dream is shattered, after all.
She thought of the broken shell and how perfectly sharp its edge was. She drew it away from her neck slightly, shadowing the arching movement of slicing it over her jugular vein.
This is how I'll act.
Her wrist jerked to the side, swiftly, across her throat.
Sora sorry Sora –
First it was a thin red line, like a thread that had floated towards her and somehow become attached to her neck. Then, marked by a choking noise, blood began to well, and then pour out in a waterfall of crimson. Her indigo eyes turned into glass and she fell backwards, hitting the ground like so much meat.
She died and her life spread across the sand around her like angel wings.
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Sora decided to take the man up on his advice, even if he was an enemy and couldn't be trusted. Ah, but he missed Kairi so much. It'd really do him good to go check on her. Maybe they could grab a bite at the hamburger place if it wasn't too late –
"Heh, come on, I have time in between saving the world." He said to himself just as a reassurance and flung his arms behind his head with leisure. The Gummi Ship landed at the Destiny Islands gate with a grumble of agreement.
He walked off the ship, sort of jumping over the last step with good cheer. His shoes made slight crunching noises in the sand. Huh, it must've rained.
Amidst his path was a dark shape, and at first he mistook it as a Heartless. Instantly he summoned his keyblade and gripped it in his right hand. Its solid hilt was comforting.
"Hey, go away. This place doesn't need any of you –"
Sora slowed to a stop. The figure became clearer as he moved closer.
"Oh . . ." First his heart, then his lips, and then his limbs went numb. Everything was vibrating, barely. It was the only way he knew he was still alive.
"Kairi." His whisper was of anguish, strangled and terminating short in the night. He dropped first his keyblade, then to his knees, and then to his hands.
"Kai," He cried, moisture dribbling down his cheeks, wetting them like salt water after a swim. Except while that was a pleasant feeling, this one was not. A large gloved hand reached out to cup the side of her face and stroke away a lock of her wine-coloured hair, tacky with blood – he wrenched it off so it could be bare.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something engraved in the sand. Sora had to squint in order to read it, but once he did, the note made another sob rise in his working throat.
She did this for me. I'm to blame for her death.
My Kairi . . .
"So nice of you to have come, Sora. It seems I'm hosting a double funeral today."
Sora laboriously turned his head and saw Axel standing behind him with the familiar smirk stuck on his face. The boy's eyes were huge and tired, as if having seen and endured countless tragedies before and not just this one.
He'd be writing his own tragedy soon. Axel would make sure of that. And when he did, Axel would tell him to write his Death with a capital D.
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Sora –
I'm sorry
you came too late
this is just for you
♥