Chapter OP: Arm Riddance

Sonic was very proud of his life, but Blaze may have just ruined it. "I am disappointed," he said Sonically.

"I am apologetic for your nose not being located specifically, Sir!" cried the cat.

Sonic took one hand and curved it so that he cupped his own perfect ear with the utmost hedgehog energy. He wiped back to conclude that he had indeed owned a head at least several minutes ago. He looked behind himself and found that he had a can of beets.

"Blaze, I am going to now indulge in this new treat!" said Sonic. He wrapped a napkin around his neckless hedgehog neck and took a bite. It was enjoyable nonetheless.

"Are you an okay, guy?" asked Blaze.

Sonic nodded and took Blaze by the hand in smartness. "What do you request of me?"

"I am having trouble enduring love, Sonic!"

Sonic laughed and then ran into the Pokeball factory with his dumb face on display. "I say, is Tails in this building?"

Tails poked his head out from the cubicle where he was housed and ran up to Sonic and Blaze.

"Hiya, Butts!" said Sonic like a greeting card from the Olive Garden.

"Hey, Sonic! Long time, no see!" said Tails in his way of near idiocy. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, Tails, Silver is on a wedding quest to retrieve a ring for his chicky babe!"

"Who is this lucky woman?"

"I am!" cried Blaze. She concluded that Tails was a brilliant specimen from their encounter.

"I am so proud of Silver for being a hot man!" Tails screamed into Blaze's ear. He then smiled at Sonic's ownership of noggin after all these years. "Where's your own chicky babe, Sonic?"

"Well… I think Amy is in Chicago," Sonic said sadly. "But I will soon be in desperate search of one that I can less-than-three with all my hedgy heart!"

"Love is very mysterious, so you should be careful," said Blaze.

"I have to live on the edge. Preferably on tomorrow's," said Sonic as he examined Tails's own abs. They stunk because they were not muscly or toned to all angles. "Tails, you need to work out if you want to be more than a sorry duo-keister!"

Tails frowned at Sonic's apparent rightness. He hated when Sonic said things like this that hurt his feelings. Tails was sensitive to these kinds of things because he was a fox and so is Eevee, I guess.

"I'm a hater, but I ain't no fussy chicken!" laughed Sonic as he patted Tails on the head with his glove.

"Get that stain-ridden attire off of my gorgeous golden locks, you buffoon!" roared Tails. He pulled out his pistol out from within and shot the hedgehog's arm clean off.

Sonic bled like a cassowary crammed into a trash can. He held his loss like a wagon with eleven wheels. "Tails! You accidently shot me!" he cried dramatically.

"It was no accident! I'm sick of you treating me like your sidekick, bucko! It's about time the student has become the master. I'm gonna have your stinkin' head on a platter!"

"Deary me!"

"Deary you…"

POW! POW! POW!

More shots filled the air and the drama had only just begun…

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