Chapter 98 - Deep Bruises
It was odd enough to wake up to rhythmic beeping on a good day, but James really didn't want to look around himself when he heard the sounds of the medical suite. Not when it was so close to Viper … not when he wasn't entirely sure right off the bat on where he was. He could feel the stupid eyepatch still, his shoulder was hurting and bandaged tightly as well as one arm and just above his knee where he'd been shot … and his hands ached along with a few whole quadrants of his torso. And to make matters worse, the scent of antiseptic was overpowering any other hints he might have gotten.
But he wasn't going to be able to pretend he was asleep for long anyhow, so he finally cracked his one good eye open to look around and see where the hell he was. Especially since the last thing he could even vaguely remember was getting hit with a dart … or three … and losing his steam. But even once he realized he wasn't restrained, he wasn't expecting to see Billy and his parents nearby.
James tested his shoulders a little by shifting his weight, then tried to find a way to sit up that didn't make every bruise and bump scream at him. But that just wasn't possible for how little of him wasn't bruised. The stitches at his knuckles pulled every time he moved his hands and he didn't have to look to know there was a horrible black-purple covering the backs of his hands after using the claws while he wasn't healing properly.
"Oh, hi again," Billy said when he saw James moving. "Turns out you stormed the castle with your brother and his future father-in-law without me."
"I went to play tour guide and point out the stupidest of stupid," James said. "Didn't mean to do anything myself. Oops. Also hi."
"I made Nate tell me who pissed you off, and you know what? Totally agreed."
"It was just one or two guys, I think, so you know …"
"No, I mean the one dude I knocked out."
"Right," James said, trying to place what exactly had happened. "Yeah, he's probably not feeling too good right now. I …think I might have killed him."
"Nate told me that too," Billy said.
"I don't remember much after that," James admitted with a mild shake to his voice. Saying as much out loud after another murder and just being on Genosha … again … it was shaking his confidence on what kind of person he was, or if he actually qualified as a person at all. "Sorry, I don't think I can't tell you anything useful. Probably don't need to hear it if I could."
"You cleared out Hydra, and Nate turned everyone you didn't get into either vegetables or turncoats to give SHIELD plenty of intel," Wanda put in. "Between the two of you, SHIELD is looking pretty worthless."
"Go Nate," James said, entirely ignoring what Wanda had said that was complementary to him, too.
"He made them turn off their security on the way out too," Scott said. "You had to have surgery to get a few bullets removed once you got back here. How are you feeling, son?"
"Like I woke up to an intervention."
"Yeah, maybe don't go running off with Clint as a chaperone this soon after being kidnapped," Wanda said with a crooked smirk, though it was clear she was just barely restraining herself from brushing his hair out of his face.
"To be fair, I told Clint to stay here," James admitted.
"That's not any better," Scott said. "I understand why you went, but James, you need to be careful."
"Yeah, I'm not talking about why I went," James said. "And I'm always careful."
"Then tell me why you felt like you and Nate had to go alone when you knew Viper wanted her hands on you again."
He didn't hesitate to answer in spite of how groggy he felt. "I didn't want Nate to go on his own," James said. "She'd kill him if she caught him."
"I'd have gone with you," Wanda said softly. When James looked her way, she smiled. "I don't know if you've noticed, but my family trades on vengeance. We're quite good at it."
"I honestly hadn't considered asking you," James admitted. "But you were busy helping Billy anyhow. That was more important."
"You're part of my family too," Wanda said.
"Well, Viper doesn't want to kill me, so it's fine."
"James," Scott said sharply, half startling everyone but Vision.
"I'm not wrong, Dad."
"That doesn't make it alright. Surviving something like that-" Scott cut himself off. "I don't want you turning into me or Logan."
"Well if it's any consolation, apparently I'm more like my mother, mentally."
"That doesn't surprise me," Vision said. He'd been letting the other two guide the discussion, but now, he got to his feet and smiled at James. "She and Tony used to spend hours brainstorming together. You have her creativity."
"That … is a very kind compliment. Thank you," James said, since he knew it had to be positive when Viper had spent so much time cursing exactly that.
Vision smiled wider. "You're welcome," he said. "You should be proud. She was in a league of her own."
"Yep, that's my guy. Totally out of my league," Billy put in, grinning as he slipped over to steal a careful kiss with James.
"I don't know what you're talking about," James said to Billy. "I look like an alley cat that got dragged through a hedge backward. Has to be a few thousand guys just like me."
"There aren't. I checked and you didn't even get the whole … scruffy look the fun way."
"I'm a little nervous as to what 'fun way' ends with an eye missing …"
"Well, not that part, but… the rest, minus bruises, gunshots, and contusions." Billy grinned even more crookedly.
"I'm pretty sure you have a lot better things to do than to hang around this big of a mess," James said. "Are you still doing tour guide duty?"
"Yeah, Leslie Ann already has a flock of admirers. She's been growing out the gardens to make Genosha greener," Billy said.
"Good, she can use a fan club," James said, then turned toward Scott. "Dad … if you want to go hang out with Annie and her group, you know I'm not going anywhere now."
"I'm meeting her for dinner later; she promised her nieces they'd go out on the beach together just the girls," Scott said, and no one there missed the fact that his smile was more genuine and so much softer the second he talked about Annie.
"You mean she can relax without baking?" James teased.
"Apparently," Scott chuckled.
James took stock of the room and watched his dad, then pushed himself to sit up straighter to test out how everything moved - or didn't want to, doing his level best not to react to how much everything hurt. "Okay. Well, I think I can do this recovery thing somewhere else."
"Ooh, yes you can," Billy agreed, watching as James removed the ledes and the IV - then instantly wished them back to his room where they could get some privacy and Billy could keep James to himself.
"Not like we didn't see that one coming," Wanda said, shaking her head as she turned to Scott. "I'll make sure that our doctors check in on him at least twice a day. If you can - you should try to take a short break."
"I'm meeting Natasha when she gets back from batting cleanup after the boys' trip," Scott said.
"As I understand it, there was very little clean up to be batted," Vision added. "Nate apparently managed that on the way out."
Scott smirked. "Yeah, that's my boy."
"And you can be sure that Viz made a point to crash their servers, too," Wanda added.
"And perhaps a bit more," Vision said, and Wanda chuckled.
"I see where James gets his aversion to therapists."
Scott stopped and then let out a slow breath, turning to face Craig. He hadn't necessarily been avoiding the man, but he did know that he'd left a few messages asking for a meeting on "read." Still, he tried to explain himself, "even here you have plenty of patients-"
"And last I heard, you were still one of them," Craig said firmly. "And I'll be damned if I let you brush me off like your son is doing. At least he has the excuse of being the actual kidnap victim."
"That's exactly my point," Scott replied. "You have more pressing cases."
"Kate is speaking with Rebecca Kaplan to see if she would prefer her as a therapist. Billy is asleep. James won't speak to me. And you, Scott, haven't been acting like yourself."
"My son, his boyfriend, and my other son's girlfriend were just grabbed by Viper. What did you expect?" Scott shot back.
"That's not what I meant," Craig said, his "therapist" voice on loud and clear. His accent was even less noticeable when he was like this. "You've been stressed, yes, but after you saw them return, something shifted." He paused, took a deep breath, and said, "But I'd rather discuss this in privacy. I don't make a habit of holding sessions in hallways where anyone can hear my clients' business."
Scott dragged one hand down his face. "Now?"
"Now."
Scott thought about arguing, but he could already hear the rebuke from Annie if he did. Think of the example you're setting! She would probably say - and be right.
Which was how Scott found himself sitting across from Craig in a room overlooking the beach. "Look," Scott said, trying to head things off at the pass, "it's been absolutely insane lately. Everyone's stressed. That's normal, okay?"
"There is nothing about any of this that is normal, Scott," Craig said.
"Not for you, maybe," Scott said, looking out toward the beach. "This was practically a monthly thing when I was a teenager. Losing friends to bad guys and then picking up to try again."
"Scott, I want to help, but you can't look at this like it's normal," Craig said.
"It's not, but for this life…" Scott trailed off. "Well, I let them make their decisions."
"You couldn't have stopped them," Craig pointed out. "Where are they with that decision now?"
"Nate and Rachel are still sure of what they want," Scott said. "Kate's not going to give up her bow - if she did, that would be why Nate gives up, but…" He ran a hand down his face. "James wants to run. I've seen that exact look."
"You've seen that exact look on someone else's face. That doesn't necessarily mean the same thing for him."
"Sure, Craig."
"Scott … where are you in this storm?" Craig leaned forward slightly. "Tell me what you're thinking. There's a lot to cover here."
Scott finally tore his gaze from the window. "Craig, I've barely slept since the kids went missing. Ask me again when they're not a step away from shattering themselves."
"Fine. Then talk to me about them if you won't talk about yourself. I know I'm missing a lot in spite of all the time at the tower. What do I need to know to help them?"
"I know they're not as okay as they're pretending to be - any of them," Scott said.
"Seems to be a theme."
"Yes, but I know I've got problems. Those three? They don't know what they need to address, because they're not aware of it. Between Nate and Natasha… look, we've dealt with this kind of thing before. Coopting people and calling them tools. Objects. No one deals with that and comes out the other side feeling better about themselves."
"So give me an idea of what to expect. Start with whichever one you like, but I'm going to need more than 'we've got this covered' to move forward."
"All I've got is suspicions right now, Craig. Give Nate and Rachel a little more time to confirm that."
"And what is it you suspect?" Craig asked.
"I think Viper coopted them. All of them. James in particular, but all three of them were more valuable as assets than victims," Scott told him frankly.
"What about Nate?" Craig asked. "Is he alright after having rescued them or is he building?"
"You saw what happened. He went back in."
"Yes, and that's why I'm asking," Craig said. "I don't know Nate as well. Through Annie, sure, but I don't know if he's going to be as self destructive as his brother."
Scott held his breath and then let it out slowly. "Nate… is too much like me," he said at last, carefully.
"That really doesn't answer my question, Scott."
"Yeah, well." Scott gestured with one hand. "See, if it had been me - if it had been Jean - when it was Jean… God, losing her shattered me, Craig. Nate's not self-destructing because Kate's alive. She's got a ways to go, but she's with him. He's pissed off, but he's got his anchor back."
"Alright, that's good to know," Craig said, nodding to himself and trying to find the right angle to get Scott to talk. There was too much going on for Scott, too - and he was really working hard to avoid discussing any of it. "What about the other two? The situation isn't parallel and James is being self destructive. Not even subtle about it, either."
"No, but that lines up with what I think Viper wanted. Based on what Kate said… she meant to take away everything that made him who he is. Lose your identity, watch your friends hurt - again, little too much like me." Scott gave Craig a grim smirk.
"And Billy?"
"Harder to tell," Scott admitted. "He grew up with his grandfather telling him nightmare stories of what could go wrong, but it's different living it." He let out a long breath. "I should have kept a closer eye on Vojteck."
"I'm ot sure that would have made a difference."
"I found a weapon on him, Craig. I knew he was trying to get close to Billy."
"Did you look into it?"
"Obviously."
"And you're angry at yourself for not catching something that the leader of Hydra set up."
"There was a time I could have caught it before the Avengers even knew Hydra had a thought."
"If you knew to look in that direction, I'm sure. But - did you have any inkling that Hydra was actively going for any of them?"
"It was a problem for Kate. Repeatedly. Nate lobotomized a bunch of them for thinking of trying what happened this time around. So you can imagine how pissed he is."
"That would explain that one. But did you know Hydra was actively going after Billy?"
"I knew Doom was looking their way again. I honestly thought Vojteck might have been tied in with him - and he was, to be fair."
"But there was nothing that you knew for sure or even strongly suspected about Hydra looking his way."
"No." Scott rubbed his fingers down the length of his scars. "I was digging, though."
"Then you can't hold yourself accountable for that. Even if you were digging." Craig leaned closer. "And you can't compare what you went through to what your son is dealing with right now. It's not the same, Scott."
"No, it was worse for him," Scott said softly. "It was quick for me. Twice."
"I'm sure he'd say it was worse for you," Craig pointed out. "Have you two had a chance to talk about it?"
"Not really, and definitely not that part of things, no," Scott admitted.
"You should. If you can get him to talk about anything at all… the common ground might be a good way to segue into other things. Especially when I can see you reliving it every time you look at that eye patch."
"Alright," Scott said. "You're right. Of course. If it'll help James… you're right."
"It'll do you some good to do other things too, Scott," Craig said. "I'm told we have access to a lovely beach … you really shouldn't drown yourself in misery the whole time."
"Yeah, my brother keeps pointing at Annie in her bathing suit and giving me looks, Craig. You should go hit him for your sister or something."
"Remind me to break his fingers."
"Hey, Craig - go break his fingers," Scott said with a smirk.
"Hey Scott, you should spend some time with your girlfriend," Craig shot back, and Scott chuckled as he got to his feet.
"Thanks, Craig."
"Any time, Scott, just don't make me chase you down again."
Nate had waited until Kate had plenty of time to cool off - and America had slipped off to spend the night with Rachel - before he let himself into Kate's room, knocking on the doorframe and waiting for her to be okay before he did so. She was just coming out of a shower so hot the steam was still swirling out of the bathroom door, but when she saw him, she paused, tipped her head, and then went back to what she was doing, picking out a soft nightgown for the night.
"You alright?" Nate asked.
Kate blew out a breath so hard that it would have moved her hair if her bangs hadn't been sticking to her face and wet. "No," she said. "My boyfriend thinks he has to fight my battles, and you know how I feel about being treated like the fragile human on the team."
"This doesn't have anything to do with you being human, Kate," Nate pointed out.
"I know," she said. "But I'm the one who had to live it, Nate. You should have asked me before you left." She pulled the nightgown over her head and crawled under the covers. "It's not cool to leave out the person you're supposed to be getting justice for. Feels less like justice and more like a white knight syndrome."
"Would you have wanted to go?" Nate asked, genuinely curious.
Kate pulled a face. "No - maybe - I don't know. But it would have been nice to be asked."
"That's fair."
Kate sighed and patted the bed next to her in a signal for Nate to come join her. And then, once he was on the bed, she tucked herself into his side like she'd been doing since she got home. "I really am fine, Nate," she said. "I don't want you to think you have to treat me any differently."
Nate almost replied that she was clearly not fine, but once again, she was projecting the same thing she had when she'd yelled at him before - a need to be okay. And because it was so loud and seemed to be informing so much about how she was reacting, he decided to peek and to follow that instinct back to its source.
Somehow, he wasn't surprised to see a memory involving Daniel.
Daniel had let himself into the cells again, enjoying his relative freedom now that Katarina had her eyes on James and enjoying the chance to make Kate mad. The memory started in the middle of the conversation, so Nate didn't hear all the lead up to it, but he did see that, by that time in the back-and-forth between Kate and Daniel, Daniel had reached through the bars to cup Kate's chin and force her to look at him, and she was too tired to do more than pull herself away from him.
"Perks of the job, Kit-Kat," Daniel said, tangling one hand in her hair when she pulled away so that she couldn't actually get distance. "Consider it an upgrade."
Kate rolled her eyes at him. "Don't be stupid. You've seen my guy. You don't compare."
"Your guy?" Daniel laughed. "That's rich. You really think he'll stick around even if you get out of here? He's dating a cheerleader for a reason, and it's not your winning personality. The second you get complicated, he's out."
Kate narrowed her eyes. "Yeah right."
"What, you think Vojteck and I didn't compare notes? You've got one of the most secretive X-Men with a normal human girlfriend for a cover story. Say you do get out of here, then what? You think your super-shy goodie-goodie wants anything to do with you after Viper gets through with you? After you give everything to Hydra and then some? No, he'll find some other girl to play at being normal with, and you'll get discarded like the toy you are."
Nate shook his head when he saw the memory, because he could see that, in the moment, Kate hadn't believed a word of it. But there were other glimpses of memories, too. Vojteck and Katarina and Viper herself all had reinforced the same idea: Kate was damaged goods. No one wanted a traumatized human in their mutant hero group, especially when the X-Men were getting bad press for putting a human in "so much danger." If she escaped Hydra, she'd be a liability.
Nate could tell that Viper had been grooming Kate for something, though he wasn't sure what; the memories didn't extend that far. He'd have to look deeper - or have Rachel look, since Kate still wasn't happy with him for peeking. But at least now he could see part of why Kate was trying so desperately to be okay. Somehow, Viper and her minions had managed to convince Kate of what no one else had: that she wasn't worth anything to anyone unless she was a pretty PR face.
The worst part was that the whole idea twisted up exactly what Nate had told Kate himself: that he enjoyed being around her because she was a breath of fresh, normal air in his complicated life. After what Daniel and the others had said, of course Kate would think of that compliment and twist it to think he only liked her when she was that relief from the drama of the rest of his life.
She was hurt and mentally screaming and scarred, and she was still trying to be okay for him, because she didn't want to add to his list of people he cared about who were irreparably traumatized.
"You're peeking again," Kate said, drawing Nate's attention back to the present.
"You're shouting," Nate replied, seeing no reason to try and lie about it. "But … hold on." He closed his eyes and scrunched his nose as he concentrated hard. Which should have been a real indicator to Kate if she was paying attention … because Nate never had to concentrate to do anything with his abilities. He could deal with whole armies on his own with barely a thought, so for him to concentrate … "Okay. I think I can keep it mostly off for a while. I can't shut down all the way, but … if I really really focus … I don't hear the projecting." He held up both hands. "But if you don't want to talk to me unless I'm trying to turn it off, I'll find an inhibitor… I just don't want to screw this up, okay?"
Kate stared at him for a long time, her lips slightly parted. "I didn't mean…" She blinked and tried again. "I didn't know I was projecting," she said. "I mean, I didn't know I was projecting that much. You… you don't have to put yourself out for me."
"That's kind of what I've been saying, though," Nate pointed out. "I'm trying to help."
"I know you are. I just…" Kate blew out all her breath and then laid her head on his shoulder. "I don't want you to treat me any differently. I don't want to lose what we had."
"Kate, you're mentally screaming the crap that Viper and her kids told you, and you know it was all lies, right?" Nate said. "My family is kind of expert at dealing with trauma. Join the club."
"I know, you just… you always have something going on, and I…"
"Kate."
She sighed and snuggled into him more. "I know. I know it's stupid."
"Hey, they were torturing you on repeat to drill it into your head to separate yourself from your support system. Kind of how that works." Nate paused. "And… on that note… you should really talk to my sister. If you don't want me in your head, at least let Rachel look, because the fact that you're missing long periods of time and the stuff that you do remember is grooming and torture? That's setup for something bad; we need to know what it is."
"Okay." Kate sounded small as she tucked into a ball.
"You don't have to do it right now-"
"I said okay," Kate said, though she was quieter still.
Nate let out his breath. "Kate-"
"Can we just…" Kate bit her lip. "Can we just be us for a minute? You don't have to keep your powers off, and I'll try not to project, and we can pretend we're vacationing and not on team-mandated trauma leave?"
Nate sighed, knowing that Kate was going to have to address this sooner or later. But instead, he said, "Alright," and tucked her under his chin.
He'd let Rachel do the work; he was just happy to have something to do that made her feel safe.
James was having trouble doing more than sleeping and refueling for several days after his and Nate's self appointed mission. It meant his body was trying desperately to fix the laundry list of new injuries beyond those from two weeks with Viper's complete personal attention. Which worked well for him when he didn't want to talk to anyone. Especially about anything regarding Madripoor. He just wanted to put it behind himself as quickly as possible and forget any of it had happened. So … he chose sleep above all else more often than not.
But that made him easy for Billy to look after and snuggle up with, even if he was tensing up in his sleep every time Billy put his arm around him. Until then, Billy honestly didn't know someone could hold their breath at a simple touch while still sleeping hard. And James hadn't given anything even close to an acceptable explanation on why he'd taken such a huge risk with seemingly little thought. To top it off, the story that Nate told painted a pretty terrifying picture of what James had done when the brothers returned to Madripoor for vengeance. Curiosity on James's motives was beginning to drive Billy a little crazy - almost to the same point of anxiety Billy had concerning what Viper had done to James that no one saw. He just knew there was more to it than James would acknowledge- beyond the torture and mind games. He was starting to suspect something more personal than anything they'd hit on so far. He didn't know how to bring it up though.
James wasn't acting like the guy Billy had fallen for, and Billy didn't know what he could do to help. But he knew that whatever was going on with James was absolutely not healthy in any way.
Having James share his room made it easier on Billy for his trauma, but it also allowed Billy to observe more than the others could. That was partly due to James avoiding everyone and partly due to him just … wanting to sleep all the time. But that meant he was showing his cards when he slept too…
James hadn't lied at the tower - he was already showing signs of stress via restless, twitching muscles, soft, distressed sounds from the back of his throat, and nightmares when he was actually able to sleep, but Billy had noticed that more often than not, James wasn't actually sleeping while he was in bed. Instead, he was just … trying to be very still and keep his eyes closed as life passed him by. But when he was actually passed out, any odd noise would wake him from the deepest of sleeps - and he was incredibly lax in doing basic things he'd never been slow on … like answering texts or reading on the internet … or showering and shaving. He just … didn't seem to care much about anything outside of being small, still, and out of everyone's way.
What's more, Billy noticed that James wasn't in a rush to steal kisses or get more intimate than a quick, friendly embrace - and even at that, he was tense through the contact. He was trying not to be … but Billy was quickly growing to hate the way James was holding his breath at every touch. That needed to stop. Fast.
What's more, he still hadn't bothered to talk to Natasha or Scott more than a passing chat full of redirects to avoid actually talking to them. And he'd told them next to nothing.
Considering the incredibly strong aversion James had to talking to Doc Hale or his family, Billy decided that it was up to him to try and help his guy. He just had to be sneaky about it. Well … not sneaky … he just had to make it ease from one horrible subject to another, and he already knew that the only way he'd gotten more than two words out of James regarding the Viper situation was when he was taking about his own trauma. Like his concerns about becoming a supervillain like Magneto and his other insecurities… which did not sound very romantic of a path to get his man to open up but at this point, he'd take what he could get.
"So," Billy said, curling up so they were facing each other and sharing a pillow. It wasn't necessary to be that close, but it was definitely a security blanket for Billy - and a means to check and see if he was taking it too far. With his arm draped over James' waist, he'd know the instant he said something wrong because everything under his arm and hand would tense up. The part that bothered him though, was the fact that as soon as Billy touched him, James went perfectly still, barely even moving to breathe. "I know that I'm going to take some time to get past killing Daniel and Katarina-"
Here, Billy was interrupted when James leaned forward slightly to kiss him gently and chastely. It was the one thing he'd been doing consistently; kissing Billy every time he mentioned killing Katarina. And every time, in spite of how horrible Billy felt about killing them, he couldn't stop the smile at the little token of affection.
"Yes, well… I know how upset you were after you killed grandfather," Billy continued, trying to keep on track. "And Natasha mentioned how hard it is on you to lose your control … and I also know you haven't said anything about killing those Hydra soldiers…"
"Let me stop you there," James said, then gave him another quick kiss. "There is a difference between what happened with your grandfather and what happened with Hydra."
"I know, but there are some similar things … like the whole … feral break. That happened. Both times. And I know how wrecked you were last time, so … are you? Okay?"
James let out a measured breath and watched Billy through his one good eye for a long moment. "Yes. I'm okay. Good even. Those guys …. They deserved what they got."
"Nate says-"
"Nate thinks too much," James said. "He worries too much. They were trying to kill us. They hurt you and Kate. They were asking for it."
But his tone and his physical response weren't matching up with the matter of fact tone James was using.
"You're really not bothered at all?"
"Why would I be? They were trash," James rumbled, then amended his statement. "I'm not exactly happy about losing control, but no one on their side got hurt that didn't deserve it. Nate and Clint …"
"And you," Billy pointed out, not missing that James wasn't counting himself as undeserving.
"At least Nate and Clint are okay."
"They really could have killed you, too, you know."
James sighed shakily. "They aren't allowed to," he said softly. "They might get close, but they can't …" James' whole tone shifted harshly as he tried to change the subject, moving to more defensive sounding than anything else. "It doesn't matter anyhow. We weren't captured."
"But that's what I'm afraid of," Billy said after a moment of watching as James shifted from false anger to hoping Billy didn't push. He reached up to brush James' messy hair out of his face, then hesitated when James closed his eyes tight and flinched, though he followed through very delicately to emphasize that he wasn't about to hurt James for anything, then spoke in a near whisper, sure that James would catch it. "Please don't let her get you again."
"I wasn't trying to-"
"I'd be out of my mind worried for you, even if they can't kill you. There's so much worse things they can do and I'm sure you know that better than I do." James looked more anxious, and if Billy didn't know better, he'd have sworn that was fear. "I hate how much she already hurt you- how all of them already hurt you, but that's not even close to the measure of how much I love you."
He tried to emphasize the gentle, careful approach as he took his time to lean in for a kiss that was much more cautious than Billy could remember sharing with James. Ever. But the way James had been reacting had Billy worried that Kate wasn't the only one that had been screwed over in every way Viper and her ilk could imagine. The terror at being touched, the outright aversion to honest affection, and a few times, James had even turned away from a kiss if Billy had been a little too aggressive - only to hold his breath and wait for the repercussions to show.
And when the much more delicate, cautious approach yielded at least neutral responses, Billy knew for sure Katarina had done more than James was willing to admit to. He was hit with equal parts rage toward Katarina and Viper, frustration at where his affectionate sweetheart had gone, fear that the old James might not ever resurface- or worse yet, they may part ways from all this trauma … but he still had hope that he might have a way to help when James relaxed into the kiss after a moment.
Billy cleared his throat after he had some time to watch James react … paying careful attention to every muscle his arm was resting on. "So, that was nice," he said, to which James quietly agreed, but couldn't keep eye contact. "Please tell me … if I do anything that …"
James glanced up in question and the look of alarm was so clear, there was no way Billy couldn't interpret that as an understanding between them.
"If I do anything that reminds you of them … or of her, please tell me. I can't stand the idea that I might make things worse for you by trying to show you I care."
But where Kate would have once again held her breath or denied any of it, James looked incredibly guilty as he closed his eyes and frowned hard to himself. "I don't even know where to start," he whispered. "I really screwed up."
"What? No," Billy said quickly. "No, it's okay, I promise. I get it. Like we said, we're both having nightmares, and you're so good about helping me, and it's only fair I help you, you know?"
"You really don't need to," James countered quietly, though he'd already started shrinking in on himself. "And it's not you."
"Course I gotta help. I love you. That's the whole point," Billy said. He took a deep breath, let it out, and added, softly, "I know I'm not the one you're trying to get away from, but still - just… tell me if I tread on something, okay?"
James looked like he might argue for a moment, then shook his head silently. "You're not doing anything wrong."
"Well, that's a point in my favor, anyway," Billy said, very carefully and tenderly snuggling up a little better. "You're not doing anything wrong either, you know. I've seen - I saw what Kate went through and … you know … I get it."
"What's that got to do with it?" James asked with a little more voice.
"I mean, same issue, right? Or am I totally off?" Billy picked his head up. "Because, I mean, I'd be happy if she didn't cross those lines…"
"It's not the same." His response was short, tense, and just didn't fit his reaction, either.
Billy had one eye closed as he tipped his head to the side. "Ki-i-i-inda feels the same, seeing as I know you didn't want to do anything with her. I'm totally superior, obviously, and I know you'd never go along with second-best," he tried to tease, hoping that would help lessen it a bit.
But James shook his head. "I don't think we're on the same page. It's not- it's not the same. It's on me."
Billy bit his lip, trying not to say what he was thinking - which was that Katarina had deserved worse than he'd given her if what he was seeing was even a sliver of how much she'd convinced James he was garbage. "So, uh, gonna do a hard disagree here and say you're not even a little bit to blame. But that's a whole discussion I don't think either of us want to get into this soon after it."
"I don't want to talk about it at all," James agreed.
"Okay." Billy took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay, then we'll just leave it at: please tell me if I do anything like her, and I'll fix it. Because - for me - I don't want you to ever think of me and her in the same moment. Fair?"
James didn't argue that one bit, though. "Alright."
The two of them settled in for a little bit, but it wasn't long before James was shifting, trying to get comfortable. And Billy tried to help him. He did. Only to be disappointed when James' response was a dull, weary tone as James told him he just wanted to sleep. Again.
"Don't you want to grab something to nibble on first?" Billy asked since it had been almost all day since he knew James had eaten anything.
"No. You go ahead if you want," James told him, and when Billy moved to give James some space, he curled up into a tight ball, tucked his chin to his chest and started to drift, leaving Billy to his thoughts, wondering what he'd done to set James off.
"Billy, come join us," America called out as Billy passed her and Kate. He had been heading to grab a snack, but seeing as America and Kate were curled up with half the snack food from the pantry in their suite, they were all thinking along the same lines.
"What's going on?" Billy asked as he backtracked to join them.
"Nate got suckered into surfing with your shared uncle, so we're eating everything in sight," America teased him.
"That seems like the kind of thing you'd do at the beach while watching," Billy pointed out.
"Kind of a little light sensitive right now," Kate admitted, waving a hand in front of her eyes. "Mom thinks it's lingering aftereffects."
"Probably," Billy agreed as he plopped down with the two of them. "I'd wish it away but I already got chewed out for even talking about fixing a few things. I wasn't expecting new and more depressing rules to go with the magic after this."
"Yeah, I meant to ask you if you were having a hard time with any… you know… magic consequences?" Kate asked in a wince.
"Not yet that I know of, but I'm sure it's a matter of time," Billy said in a glum tone.
"Well, whatever happens, I'll back you up, okay? I still owe you."
"If you think you owe me, you can share the chocolate," Billy said. "That's all."
"Oh, fine," Kate said, pushing some of the candy his way.
Billy took a few pieces then forced a smile. "Okay, we're square."
"Not really, but it's a start."
"Yes, really," Billy argued. "I'm not … I didn't do anything, really and Tyler healed my hand up, so we're square."
"Yeah, Tyler got me too," Kate said.
"Almost makes up for him kissing your guy," America teased under her breath.
"He tried to evaluate James," Billy said with a smirk. "But that didn't go over too well."
"Once bitten or something like that," Kate laughed.
Billy laughed with her and leaned back. "Not exactly. James almost launched him when he tried to touch him."
Kate leaned back with him, though Billy noticed that she was visibly uncomfortable and sweaty. "Yeah, he, uh, we had a talk, you know? After he fixed stuff."
"Who? You and Tyler?" Billy asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay," Billy said slowly. "What … did you talk about? If I can ask."
If it had been anyone but Billy, Kate would have played it off - but James and Billy… that was a different story. "Well, you know, he knew what he was fixing, right? Asked me if I, you know, wanted him to take the extra time to fix scarring so if me and Nate want kids, you know…"
Billy's eyebrows lifted at that. "I mean, it makes sense that he'd know that kind of thing."
"Yeah, he said he didn't know he could heal scars until the department had him paired up with some horrible evil guy… fixed him up on orders and healed an ugly facial scar while he was at it. The guy was pissed."
"That Tyler made him less ugly? Weirdo."
"Guy was willingly working for the department, so…"
"Yeah, okay, that's fair," Billy agreed. "So … is that all Ty told you?"
"Well, he had me do a few exercises so he knew for sure everything was healed in the right position for archery…" She paused. "I told him, you know, give me the option. Didn't want Nate to think - I mean…"
"Are you sure you want to cram snacks with us when you clearly would rather be kissing your Summers?" Billy teased.
"I don't, actually," Kate said, then made a face as she scratched her arms. "Ugh. I'm itchy."
"Must be going around," Billy grumbled. "Not the itchy part. Do you need something?"
"Probably," Kate said. "I shouldn't be itchy, though. My arms are driving me nuts, but I'm healed up. Ugh." She made another face. "This is stupid."
"What can I do to help?" Billy asked.
America looked between the two of them with narrowed eyes. "Let's get you to the good doc, chica," she said at last. "I know I'm hot, but you're sweating like you just ran a marathon, and we didn't even do anything fun."
"America," Kate started to argue, but America wasn't hearing it.
"We don't know what Viper did, and I'm not taking chances with my best friends, Princess," America said. "Billy agrees with me; don't you, Billy?"
"Um … yes. Considering what she was giving James? Yes."
Kate stuck her tongue out at Billy but let him and America take her to Hank all the same - which was good, because even in the short time it took them to walk down, she felt more clammy than before and tossed her cookies right outside the med lab door.
"Oh my stars," Hank said when he saw the state Kate was in. "What happened, Katie?"
"I don't know," Kate grumbled as America helped her straighten up.
"She's been getting worse all day," America said, frowning and leading Kate somewhere to sit down.
"When did it start?" Hank asked as he started looking over Kate's eyes and started her vitals.
"Little after lunch."
"And it was just today?" Hank asked, frowning deeply.
"No," Billy said, frowning as he put together a pattern. "No, she did this yesterday too. It wasn't this bad, but I remember her being … off when she was curled up with her mom yesterday."
Hank looked pale as he considered a few options. "I'm going to draw some blood," Hank told her gently. "But I'll need a few other samples, too." He looked reluctant to continue his train of thought, but Kate was quick enough on the uptake when she saw the specimen collection he gently sat down for her.
"No," she said - eloquently - as she stared at one test in particular.
"Kate, it's just to rule it out," Hank said.
"No, it's not-" Kate took a breath that rattled. "No, don't make me find out that- because if I am-"
Hank took a moment to take her by the shoulders and look her in the eyes. "Kate, my dear girl, I don't believe that you are. But I do need to test to be sure. Years ago, I could tell with my senses if that was the case, but I'm not nearly as sensitive as others were in that realm. So I rely on science where I can."
Kate nodded, though her hands were shaking. "Yeah," she said softly. "Yeah, okay. I just…"
"There are other possibilities," Hank said gently. "That is just one of many. And not a very likely one."
"Uh-huh." Kate swallowed and then closed her eyes to steady herself. "Right. Okay. Let me just…" She picked up the pregnancy test and pointed vaguely at the bathroom. "Okay. I'll just… i'll be right back."
Billy and America shared a look once Kate disappeared into the bathroom - and then Billy winced when he and everyone else heard Kate throw up again. But neither of them knew what to do or say - all things considered.
While Kate was indisposed, Hank waved Billy over. "Mr. Maximoff, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to test your blood. If one of the far more likely variables is in play with Miss Barton, it's entirely possible you'll be dealing with similar withdrawl symptoms, even if the drug used with you was different."
Billy glanced toward the bathroom and then nodded, though he looked significantly paler. "Okay. I just… I'm not gonna look, okay? Needles are not… my friend…"
"Most of the heroes in our circle of friends feel much the same way," Hank promised as he worked quickly.
"Fair point," Billy said as he sat down close to Hank. He held his breath as Hank cleaned him up, and he looked honestly like he might lose his lunch once Hank got started, too. He did end up putting his head between his legs, but no worse - to his immense relief.
"You okay, Billy?" Kate asked from the doorway of the bathroom. She looked white as a sheet, but seeing Billy with his head between his knees, she pushed off from the door frame and headed over, pushing the test at Hank without looking at it - she couldn't make herself look at it anyway.
"Yeah, just letting Dr. McCoy use me as a control group or something.""
"You look like you've seen a ghost."
"You're one to talk," Billy pointed out, and Kate smiled grimly as she hopped up to sit beside them. When America joined them both, obviously concerned for the two of them, Kate leaned over to rest her head on Billy's shoulder - and Billy leaned against America.
"Pretty sure you'll get lollies later," America teased them under her breath.
"Twinkies," Hank said almost distractedly as he worked quickly to get the tests going and set aside the pregnancy test so it could process while the kids teased each other. "And because I don't discriminate, you're eligible without the poke, Miss Chavez."
"I can pee on something if it's a sticking point," America said without missing a beat. "Rachel will be glad to know I don't have any interdimensional parasites."
"I don't believe you have any more reason than young Billy to worry about that particular test," Hank said dryly.
"Never know. My girlfriend warps reality. So does Billy."
After a few minutes, Hank let out a sigh and sat back on his stool. "The blood tests will take some time to process properly, but at least that's all you have to worry about, Miss Barton."
Kate brought her head up fast. "Yeah?" she asked in a whisper Billy almost couldn't hear even with how close she was to him.
"I told you it was unlikely," Hank said gently. "And that this was just to confirm that I was right."
At that, though, Kate simply started to cry - and she couldn't seem to stop, either, no matter how concerned Billy and America looked. And when Hank took a step closer, that was it - Kate grabbed hold of him around the shoulders and simply fell apart into him, positively bawling her eyes out and letting go of all the pure terror she'd been feeling.
Hank, for his part, simply wrapped her up as tightly as she needed him too - gently at first and then in a warm bear hug when she clutched onto him harder the longer she was crying. He couldn't have imagined what she was feeling, but he was relieved beyond words for her sake. Yes, she would have to deal with lingering affects from what he suspected was an addictive reaction to Viper's poisons, but that could be dealt with.
And Kate - Kate just cried until she couldn't cry anymore and simply let Hank curl around her. She wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere else anytime soon, either. Hank had always been there for her when she was growing up. He'd cleaned up her scraped knees and team-related injuries alike. And as much as she didn't like being touched, being surrounded by big, fuzzy arms? That was different. That felt safer.
And considering how much she knew she could not have handled being pregnant, especially because of a complete Hydra creep, how close she knew she'd been to losing her tenuous grip on sanity… she needed that. She really did.
After having gotten a small upgrade in how medically cleared he was to do things, James began isolating more completely, which meant he had become an expert at finding the spots around the palace that he could tuck into that had both a view and a solid means to avoid just about everyone. Especially after Natasha had come after him determined to undo brainwashing that James was sure hadn't happened. Conditioning, sure, but … brainwashing sounded too hokey for him to believe.
He couldn't evade Billy, of course, because Billy would just wish one of them to the other if he got tired of looking - and he did. Often. But that morning Billy was off in one of the courtyards on the other side of the grounds with Annie's nieces and Alex's kids staging a water balloon fight. So to keep from being involved in that, James took a cup of coffee and tucked into a rarely used balcony that overlooked the ocean.
It was a good place for distraction anyhow… the warm ocean breeze carried the familiar scent of the open sea- salty and wild, with notes of seaweed and the life it sustained clinging to it. But … that scent that close to the sea overpowered the smell of blood that clung to him. And it diluted the strong, acrid smell of antiseptic.
He had the supplies he needed to clean and re-wrap his hands since his healing was still a mess and he needed to keep on top of his hands just because the stupid wraps kept getting jacked up as he slept. Yes, he knew he needed to eat more, but he had no appetite and no desire to do anything of the sort. Yes, he knew he needed to drink more water to counter the blood loss, but again … he had no desire to do so, and if he was being honest, he was going deeper and deeper into a severe depression. But being honest with himself would mean admitting that a few things that had happened around Viper and Katarina weren't entirely on him. Or on him at all, for at least one topic.
He wasn't ready to face that, though. So instead, he decided to focus on the stinging sensation that came with cleaning half-healed wounds.
In the spot he'd chosen, no one could see him from inside the palace - not when he was around the corner from the open doorway and well out of the line of sight. So while he was so well hidden, James kept quiet and began to work on cleaning his stitches and re-wrapping his hands with his coffee slowly cooling next to him. He had managed to evade his family, Billy's family, and the Hales … so far.
Unfortunately, for as tucked in as he was, he also had no quick escape should someone manage to find him and decide to join him. So naturally, the idea of a quick exit was next to impossible when he was halfway through cleaning up the first hand when Annie happened to stumble upon his hiding spot.
"Would you like some help with those?" Annie offered softly. "I've helped Anton and some of his friends on a few occasions; I'm decent with basic first aid."
"Ah, no," James said, shaking his head lightly. "It's not busted knuckles. I'm just cleaning it up a little before I wrap it again. Thanks, though." He was taking his time - partly because he didn't want to have to do it twice, and partly because even saline or clear water stung, and the sting helped to distract him from the thoughts he was trapped with. He needed to be in control of that much, anyhow.
Annie nodded and sat down next to him. "You know," she said after a long period of silence and watching his hands shake from the pain as he insisted on doing it himself, no matter how awkward it was, "the island is beautiful, but you can always ask Billy to take you somewhere else if this place is hard to stay in."
"It's fine," James said flatly.
"I know you love that boy, but you're allowed to take breaks. Just because you'll live here with him eventually… well, you don't have to jump in with both feet, is what I'm sayin', I guess. I just hate to see you look so torn up."
"Just how it is," James said, though he didn't even try for a false smile like he usually would have. "And I don't know if that's how it'd go anyhow."
"You planning to have him commute to New York while you're at Stark Industries?" Annie asked with a sparkling smile. "It could be done, I suppose…"
James hedged at that though. "I don't know that's an option either."
"Well, why not? You love him, don't you?" Annie pointed out.
"That's not all that matters," James said, keeping his focus on his task. "It's not enough."
"Sure it is. The rest is window dressing." Annie waved her hand.
"It's …. There's a lot of drama. Most, if not all of it's my fault, so … probably not even something worth discussing."
Annie shook her head. "Nonsense," she said firmly. "It's not your fault you were kidnapped. That's out of your control."
James shook his head. "It's not that … that was going to happen anyhow. Sooner or later."
"You sound like your father," Annie said in a sigh. "He's been worried about the worst since the day y'all were his responsibility."
"Yeah, I know," James said, then rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It's not going to get any better. Not really fair to him. I told him he could tap out. He did all he could - for me, anyhow."
"Life's like that." Annie looked out toward the view of the waves from their tucked-away spot. "Wasn't too long ago I'd've been killed for this view. I say it's getting better."
"Yeah, but there's still a few reasons I tuck up tight even here," James said, then turned her way with a raised eyebrow. "Not really very popular around here. Adds to the mess I leave in my wake."
Annie shook her head. "To hear my nieces tell it, you only leave pranks and fun in your wake. They adore you, you know."
"I blame that on Officer Wright's storytelling skills." He sighed heavily. "Disregarding this latest mess, the last I heard, the island is split," he told her. "And general opinion isn't real hot when you get into specifics. I'm too close to the crown prince. That's a hazard. You should keep an ear open for what the theories are and why I'm here." He picked up his mug. "Word on the street is that it's not because I'm in love with Billy."
"I don't abide by gossip," Annie said firmly.
James pursed his lips, weighed his answer, then finished a drink of his coffee. "It's not just gossip. And, really it's based in fact, anyhow. As idiotic as I feel saying it, his image matters. What people think will color how he's viewed publicly and I don't want to tarnish that. I probably already have. Murderer. Assassin. What's the difference, at this point?"
"Sweetheart, there's a big difference," Annie said gently. "And people are smart enough to understand the gulf between those two things. Give them some credit."
"I killed Magneto in his own throne room," James said flatly.
"Well, where would you rather have killed him - in Manhattan while he threatened people?"
"I didn't want to kill him at all," James answered easily.
Annie pointed at him. "And that right there is why you're not a killer."
"On the other hand," he said slowly. "When I left with Nate, I wasn't intending to do anything but point the way. And I lost it. Clint can't even say for sure how many Hydra soldiers I killed and I don't remember one of them."
"Scott explained that part to me too," Annie said.
"I don't feel bad about the soldiers."
Annie saluted him with her coffee. "Damn straight. Rapists don't get sympathy."
James paused at that. "Well that was the first one anyhow. The others..."
"And Scott told me about what happens when you go berserk. No different than Anton's little sister - ended up dead before she could grow up and took a bunch of people with her when her powers got to be too much."
James frowned deeper. "It's not the same. And I'm not looking for a pass."
"Alright." Annie set her coffee down and watched the waves for a while longer. "You know, when your father's alright with it, I hope you'll be there when we get married."
James turned toward her for a moment and watched her as she played with the edge of her shorts. "If I'm able, I will."
"I'll hold you to that," she said. "I know it'll take him a while, considering how his last loves went. But I thought you should know I'm sure of what I want."
"Sooner would be better than later," James said softly.
"It's entirely up to him," Annie said. "But then, I make decisions fast once I know it's right, so I'm not surprised I got there first."
"That's ridiculous," James said. "I'll be old and gray before Dad realizes what's going on."
"I think if that's the case, your brother will go out of his mind," Annie laughed.
"Yeah, Nate can't live his whole life waiting on that," James said. "Don't wait for Dad. Go get him. He'll like it."
Annie laughed out loud. "Oh, I like you."
They fell into a slightly more comfortable silence for a long while before James finally gathered up his things and paused for just a moment to try and get something across to her. Before Viper had worked him over, he probably would have given her a little kiss on the cheek, or a quick hug, but that just wasn't the case anymore and the thought of initiating physical contact had him on the edge of a panic attack. He still looked like he wanted to do something, though. And then he surprised Annie when he spoke up instead. "Thanks for taking care of my Dad."
She smiled warmly at him. "Thanks for sharing him with me. I know the four of you mean the world to each other."
But James really didn't know how to react to that beyond trying and failing to smile reasonably before he just left, and Annie frowned after him for a long time before she got up as well - to go and find Scott.
As it happened, Scott had just managed to get himself detangled from Alex's kids and was trying to get a bite to eat in peace, so Annie took the opportunity to swoop in and redirect him - grabbing some food to take with them to their suite along the way.
"I think James is finally warming up to me," she told him once they had sat down to eat - without really any preamble or warning as to what she'd be talking about. "And if he hadn't been through hell to get there, I'd be more pleased."
Scott nearly choked on the bite of sandwich in his mouth. "What?" he coughed. "He's barely talking to Billy."
"Oh, well, he didn't talk much," Annie said, backtracking a bit when Scott looked so genuinely shocked. "Really, I just told him not to listen to Erik's old worshippers and let him know how much I appreciate him and his siblings being so supportive of us dating."
"How exactly did that come up?" Scott asked, since of the few things on the lists of discussion, that wasn't anywhere close to what he thought would get his son to talk to anyone.
"Us dating?" Annie waved her hand. "Oh, well, he seemed uncomfortable when I agreed with his handling of sexual predators, so I tried to lighten the mood telling him - well, I let him know I love your family and appreciate being welcomed into it, more or less."
But that had Scott thinking. "Uncomfortable how?"
"I think he thought I'd be more upset with him, but really, Scott, how many decent people do you know who would mourn creeps like that?"
"This is the kid that got picked up by your brother in law for beating the hell out of a stalker in the street."
"Exactly." Annie touched her nose and then pointed at Scott. "I thought we'd be on the same page."
"You should be," Scott said, frowning slightly to himself as he thought it over. For Scott at least, there were a few puzzle pieces that were falling into place, even without Rachel handing it to him. "He's never had any tolerance for that kind of thing. Even when he was in Kindergarten, he beat another boy up for stealing a kiss from a little girl and making her cry…"
Annie frowned to match him, watching him over the top of her sandwich for a long time and replaying the conversation in her own mind. "Tell me what you're thinking," she said at last, because she might have had a therapist for a brother, but superhero trauma was above her paygrade, and she wanted to know if she was following the right threads.
"I think James feels guilty about something he shouldn't."
Annie put down her food. "Oh."
"He won't talk to anyone, doesn't want to be touched. At all," Scott said, starting down the list for her benefit as much as his own. "He's not taking care of himself, he's shying away from Billy. And he damn near got himself killed trying to avenge Kate."
"Well, of course," Annie said, trying to rally when she could see that Scott was trusting her and pulling her into James's circle of support. "It's totally wrong, but if I'm following you right, and you think he and Kate have the same kind of trauma, he'd see her issues as more legitimate than his own. Craig's had to talk a few male clients into believing they were abused or assaulted just because this damn stigma for men is so heavy," she added, her eyes narrowed.
"And he's always had a problem drawing that line in the sand with people putting their hands on him," Scott added as he thought it over, and immediately started to wonder how much Rachel knew, too. She had to know.
"He's had a hard time seeing his worth since I've known him, Scott," Annie said in a sigh. "This isn't helping matters."
"No. And any progress he made is probably entirely gone now."
"And he's recovering on an island where some of the citizens still think he's a cold-blooded assassin who shouldn't be allowed near the crown prince."
"Not as many as he thinks," Scott said.
"But more than Billy thinks," Annie said. "I love that boy, but he doesn't hear what gets whispered when he's not around."
"Rose colored glasses," Scott said, almost smirking at his own private joke.
Annie paused and then pointed at him. "Are you - are you smiling, Scott Summers? I don't think I've seen you do that in ages!" When that had Scott grinning, she broke into a smile of her own. "Listen, now that we know what he's been through, we can support him. But you're going to turn gray at this rate. Leave him be for the moment."
"I still have to figure out how to talk him into letting Natasha undo some of the brainwashing," Scott said. "This absolutely complicates things."
"So tell Natasha what you know. Lord knows she probably suspects, given the way those three have been acting."
"I don't know if any of us were suspecting that with James," Scott said.
"Because of Kate?" Annie asked. "Because she was the only girl?"
"Maybe," Scott admitted, then sighed heavily as he swore. "I should have considered it when Kate and Billy came back saying how Viper and her daughter wanted to keep James as a symbol. How they planned to force him to marry Katarina. Viper had done more or less the same thing to Logan. I don't know how involved they were though. It was different." Scott paused as he considered it. "I think. Mostly."
"You think." Annie leaned back in her seat. "Alright."
"They were married for a short time. Before he met K. Logan called it a means of fulfilling an honor oath. Hated every second of it, but felt like he had no choice," Scott explained roughly. "All the women in his life were beyond mad about it, but I don't know … Logan made it sound like it was just legal."
Annie pressed her lips together. "Mm." She let the sentiment hang in the air, watching as Scott turned steadily paler the more he thought about it. "Sounds to me like the rotten apple didn't fall far with Katarina and her snake of a mother," she said. "And like I told James, rapists don't get sympathy. I'd throw Billy a parade for what he did if I didn't think he'd wish himself invisible."
"I don't think he realizes what he did."
"He'll catch on. He's too smart not to, and like you said, James doesn't want to be touched," Annie pointed out. "As much as he'll hate it, your son can't hide this."
"He'll still try," Scott said. "And pawn it off as from the torture."
"And he'll figure out when he's ready who he wants to talk to eventually," Annie said. "I have full faith in him. He'll be alright; he has a good support system."
"If you let him hear you say that, sounding that much like your brother, he'll stop talking to you," Scott teased.
"Oh, like you don't pick things up from your brother. I hear Alaska in your accent every time the two of you get together, Mr. Summers. Not my fault mine's a therapist."
"Yeah, but my son would rather talk to you than him," Scott said.
"I'll do my best to live up to that trust," Annie promised.
"You don't have to do anything," Scott said. "If he keeps being somewhat open, just be you." He didn't mention that it might have been a one-off situation. Not when Annie was relaxing into discussion. He reached over to take her hand, then let the conversation shift naturally to less-volatile topics, but when things started to fall into comfortable silence, he made a point to reach out to Rachel.
When were you going to tell me what Katarina did to James?
Did he talk to you? Rachel projected back, scrambling to focus.
To Annie. That's not the point when I know you saw what he's been through.
Okay, I wasn't expecting that, Rachel started as she looked for a way to not argue with him. Okay. Alright. I saw - but I wanted to give him a chance to get there himself when it was so fresh.
And you didn't think after he and Nate went back to Hydra this was something I should know about?
In my defense, you looked like you were going to have a stroke. And he's trying to repress so hard, I don't know how to say anything without triggering him into totally hating me. He already doesn't trust me, Dad.
Rachel, I'm your father. I'm his father too. And it's my job to worry about you kids. It's not your job to protect me; it's the other way around.
I'm going to go ahead and disagree. We're a family and we're supposed to take care of each other.
Then let me take care of you kids, Scott insisted. You said yourself James doesn't trust you right now. I can help.
Okay. Great. How are we going to bring that up to him, hmm?
Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. We'll let him come to us, but at the very least we can give him support tailored to-
That's not going to happen, Dad. He won't talk to anyone about any of this - especially that aspect. He's half convinced he shouldn't be seeing Billy right now because he thinks he was cheating on him with Katarina.
Doesn't mean we should all be trying to help him without all the facts. Don't keep things from me, Rachel. That's not your call to make.
He could hear her mental sigh. Okay. What else do you need to know or want confirmed?
I want to know if there's anything else you're trying to shield from me. On any of them.
I'm going to start working with Kate soon. We suspect brainwashing on each of them, we just don't know what they're conditioned into yet.
I figured that one out, actually, but thank you for confirming it.
I'm still trying to find the balance to sift through James' head, Rachel said. Because unless we can get him to trust us enough to let in the good telepaths, I need a boost to get through without doing damage.
Start with Billy and Kate. I know it's small, but honestly, just seeing those two get out the other side safely with you might help more than you think. Concrete proof.
That was kind of the idea, but since James saw everything - or nearly everything - I was trying to get details or direction from him for those two.
That… might not be a bad idea. Scott paused. But be careful, Rach. That much misery might be a little too tempting for the Phoenix to pass up.
It absolutely is, Rachel agreed, confirming that almost too fast.
And… how's that going? Scott asked cautiously.
I was hoping you'd have good news for me on him discussing things.
Rach… you've got to take breaks too.
Sure. Right after you.
I don't have an interdimensional creature bent on destroying worlds waiting to seize on misery and anger, so… you first.
Get him to talk and I'll take a break.
That wasn't a suggestion, Rachel.
Neither was mine. I can't just stop when I know he's hurting, either.
Mine is more feasible. A break while he's sleeping or someone else is stepping in.
Oh, I am doing that, Dad. If I was trying to work with him all the time, we'd all be burnt toast by now.
And yet the second I asked if the Phoenix was too tempted… you need to take more time, Rachel.
You wanted honesty. So honestly, I'm only really able to try with James for maybe ten, fifteen minutes at a shot twice a day.
Scott let out a breath. Alright, he said at last. Just… be careful. Please.
Love you too, Dad.