A/N - Practically An Avenger - as always, the shouty reviews earn some smiles from both of us. There was a lot going on, yes. And Scott and Tony both are at the end of their rope with this kid. Time will tell if it works.

Chapter 102 - Working Through Trauma

Jan had been reworking some designs for the team, not only because she liked to make changes as a way to burn off her stress but because she knew Tony had some things in the works. And since Kate usually loved to help with the designs, she wanted to get her input on some of it.

... until she saw Kate. It was obvious she was lost in the kind of melancholy that was too common for heroes, so she just sat down beside her on the rec room couch, jolting Kate out of her thoughts - she obviously hadn't been playing the game she had up on her tablet.

"Oh, hey," Kate said, closing down the game to turn toward Jan. "Sorry. I'm just... Trying to find something to do? I've already beaten my high score at darts."

Jan nodded, her eyes wide. "Bored or…?"

"Totally failing at distracting myself more like," Kate said, blowing her breath out through her lips.

"Sounds serious."

"It … kind of is, yeah," Kate said. She glanced around the rec room, only then noticing how empty it was. Cap must have gotten everyone out; it had been fuller last time she'd been paying attention.

"Anything I can help with?"

"I dunno." Kate set the tablet aside, her hands clasped in front of her. "I… I kind of … totally freaked out on Nate. I mean, not totally. More like… froze up?" She let out her breath, put her head in her hands, and groaned. "I'm not explaining it right."

Jan leaned forward, frowning hard. It wasn't like she didn't know what Kate had been dealing with, but she didn't know what she could say. "Okay, well," she said. "It's totally okay to not be okay, right? Like, dating after something like that… I can't imagine it's easy."

"It sucks," Kate agreed, without picking her head up. "Like… we used to…" She glanced up at Jan. "Okay, so it's totally an open secret that Nate and I have been having sex for forever, right? Basically since the day we got together?"

"Yeah, that's not a surprise," Jan confirmed for her.

"And now, I … I can't." Kate was surprised by how quickly the tears sprang to her eyes, even though she felt so stupid. It was stupid, wasn't it? Crying over not being able to have sex? Maybe something was wrong with her that she still wanted to even try.

Jan felt her shoulders drop. "Kate, it's fine," she said. "No one expects you to shake it off. You don't walk away from something that traumatic and go right back to the way your life used to be."

"No, I know that," Kate said. "But like…" She gestured broadly with both hands. "Me and Nate… it's always been so physical. Always. And how are we supposed to…"

Jan held her breath before she decided on what to say. "So, okay. If the only thing your relationship has is sex, that's a problem on its own."

"No, no," Kate said quickly. "No, it's just that… No, I think he's sweet. And cute. And he's so supportive. And totally grounds me. And goofy at all the right times."

"Yeah, I get that," Jan said, smiling fondly.

Kate couldn't help but giggle. "Yeah, we have a type, huh?"

"Oh yeah. We so do." Jan grinned and leaned back. "See? You're not losing Nate over this."

Kate nodded, though tears had started to slip down her face. "I know," she said. "I'm just so sick of being damaged goods."

"Now wait a minute," Jan said, in a sharper tone than she meant to use. "You are not damaged goods, so don't ever say that again."

Kate straightened up. "I-"

"You're not goods. You're not an object. And there is nothing - nothing - that those creeps can take away from you. Guys like that don't get to define you. Ever." When Kate simply stared at Jan, Jan tried to soften her edges. "I get it. It's hard to get back to normal. But your guy is a Summers. He's, like, hard-wired to be a sweetheart, right?"

"Yeah, he's been great," Kate admitted. "And he's been so careful."

"Well, yeah. He would be."

"But I don't want to have to be careful," Kate said.

"So try again," Jan said. "And try again and again until you're okay with it." She reached over to put her hand on Kate's arm. "You're eighteen. You've got plenty of time. Focus on graduating and letting your Summers spoil you, huh? The rest of it will come. I'm not saying it'll go away instantly - I mean, just look at how long it took Scott to get back on his feet - but you've got amazing support, great parents, and literally a tower full of Avengers going to bat for you, right? And if Nate can't see how much you love him and how much you want him, then he doesn't deserve you, okay?"

"Okay," Kate said, her voice small, before she leaned over and hugged Jan tight.

James' books and laptop were still in his book bag at his feet in the kitchen in Brooklyn, and he was still just sitting there, staring at nothing in particular, his head propped up by one hand as he stared at the table in front of him. He was almost physically recovered from everything Viper and her daughter had pulled. The last few sessions with Betsy had been rough, though, and according to Hank, it wouldn't likely be too much longer before he got his eye back to useable condition. His system had been working that whole time to repair massive organ damage and other injuries that were moving a little slow while trying to heal from prolonged torture, minimal nutrition, and rest. But now that James was eating better, he was healing faster. But he was still avoiding anyone that wanted to talk about what he'd gone through.

Yes, Betsy knew more than Rachel did at this point, but she was respecting his choice to discuss it with who he wanted in his own time, even for as much as she wanted to just wrap him up and fix it somehow. And the more Betsy unraveled, the more emotional and reflective James got.

Besides … he knew things that had been tortured out of his consciousness, and there was a special sort of guilt that came from agreeing to trade your life for those you care about. Especially knowing that in doing so, it was likely that most everyone else James cared about would have suffered tremendously. But they would have had a chance to fight back faster if all had gone south.

His coffee had gone cold by the time that Scott caught up with him. It was still jolting for Scott to see his son with a damn eye patch. Almost as jolting to see him so still after all the stress and all the nonsense the kid had been dealing with because of the college and SHIELD and the now rabid press that wanted details on his relationship with the Genoshan crown prince. It was easy for Scott to see that James was adrift, which is exactly what he didn't want to happen.

What's more, Scott was a little surprised to see him there, if he was being totally honest. The team had gathered up to go on a run to help some kids in middle America, and if James was here, then he'd turned them down to go help. Which did not bode well for where his son's state of mind was.

But … considering everything that had happened, and everything that Scott had learned after his lengthy investigations into all of the staff at MIT, Scott was trying to keep his anger from blowing up. No one had known that various members of the staff at the college were being blackmailed or worse. No one had known that they had been terrified to speak up or to try and report it when their own loved ones were being used as collateral by Hydra over the years, some of which were still missing. Tony hadn't known, and it had been buried deeply enough that even Natasha hadn't known. James definitely didn't know that part, either. Yet.

When Scott pulled a chair out to sit with him, James finally looked up and gave him a tight sort of half smile. "Not feeling up to going out with the team, huh?" Scott asked as he sat down.

"No," James agreed, his focus back on the table. "Not even a little bit."

"You haven't touched your books, either," Scott observed. "You planning on actually taking the time to yourself?"

"I don't know," James replied. "Maybe." He sat back in his chair, looking more like Logan with the scowl he was wearing.

"Are you having any trouble I should know about - or something Hank should know about?"

"No. Just …" James sighed, then finally looked up to meet his father's gaze. "Doubts."

Scott frowned but let out a slow breath, nodding in understanding. "Which part is giving you trouble?" Scott asked, sure that it was the fact that after a semester and a half of trying to drive James into the ground, suddenly, MIT had done a full reverse on their stance concerning James and his work. They'd stopped short of accepting his original papers, of course, but they weren't expecting him to hold tight to the strict deadlines they'd chosen for him. "Is it the school, or …"

"All of it," James said flatly. "I don't know that it's worth the trouble to finish at the school at all at this point - or to try and transfer somewhere else, either. Not when …" James stopped himself and shook his head.

"Whatever you're thinking, you can tell me."

But James shook his head, refusing to push forward and too lost in self doubt to even say what it was that he had on his mind. And he didn't want to admit to his father that he'd agreed to do whatever Viper wanted if she'd just let Billy and Kate go. Betsy had told him it was perfectly understandable, and she had even teared up when she told him it was exactly the kind of thing Logan would have done, but that too, was weighing on James.

"I know this won't help, but after the school back pedaled, I started digging," Scott said in a somber tone before he put a file folder on the table that he'd been holding in an iron grip. "We all thought they were just being awful because you were a mutant, or maybe because of who your parents were, but that doesn't seem to be the case at all." He opened the folder and started laying out individual papers so James could see them clearer. And Scott gave him a few moments to start looking at them before he began to lay it out so James didn't have to read the whole file.

"For the past ten, fifteen years, Hydra has been blackmailing scientists and professors all across the globe either to get them to do work for them or to stop promising young minds from stumbling into something that would go against Hydra's interests. Seventy four young people have been in accidents that left them unrecognizable and near comatose if they didn't die outright. More than that were involved in questionable lab accidents that forced them out of their chosen fields of study. Those were the ones that resisted Hydra or tried to report what they saw to SHIELD. Your dean and three faculty members had their entire families being held ransom by Hydra in their attempt to isolate you for Viper. The families were rescued by SHIELD, but not until after you were in Madripoor. It turns out they knew about it, but didn't want to move until it was safe to get them out. I'm still not entirely convinced that the decision wasn't influenced by a Hydra spy inside SHIELD."

James frowned as he looked at the pictures in front of him. Most of the families were young with small kids, and in one case, a pregnant woman looked as if she'd been half beaten to death. But it didn't help his mood. Especially for how quickly he caught up and got ahead of what Scott was trying not to tell him. "They waited for Viper to capture me so she'd be distracted," James said dully.

Scott held his breath for a moment because, for all that had happened, that was one thing that he couldn't deny. "They did," Scott agreed.

"They knew the whole time and they never said anything," James continued, frowning at the pictures, not at the innocent people there, but the SHIELD agents in the photos. "They weren't the ones to come for us, though. They weren't going to come for us, were they?"

"They didn't know that Kate and Billy were with you to start," Scott said with a nod. "I know it won't help you at all, or make you feel any better, but they were more focused on the families. The director took a calculated risk, sure that you'd live through whatever Viper put you through." There was no reason to lie to him, and it was the kind of cold hard move that Scott had been forced to make once or twice with Logan in the crosshairs. The difference, of course, was that Logan always knew it going in, and he wasn't an eighteen year old kid with no training in that area.

This was absolutely Nick Fury's version of tactics where the ends justify the means, no matter the damage it did. What bothered Scott was what else Fury might have in mind for James now that he'd come out the other side. And already, James' view of himself in regards to hero work was crumbling right in front of Scott's eyes. But Scott had already decided that James had the right to know. "The decisions that were made, and the information that was kept from us … I'll handle it. I know that none of this helps, not really, but at least this last push at school will be easier now that it's in the open and behind us."

"At least this explains some of what Hill said," James said dully.

"Which was…"

James kept his focus on his hands. "Mostly that I was overdue for a SHIELD babysitter to keep me in check. Because I'm a liability to everyone around me. And she's not wrong."

For just a second, Scott considered arguing with his son - again - about his worth. About what he meant to everyone. But… he decided against it, if for no other reason than the kid was starting to act like his father, and if this was how they both reacted to trauma, he saw no reason not to take a similar approach.

"James," Scott said carefully, "if - if - it ever came time for someone to step in, if you needed to be stopped, we already have a plan in place. Multiple. For each one of you kids."

"Yeah, I know. I have a few myself," James admitted.

"Then you should know the difference between our plans and SHIELD's," Scott pointed out. "SHIELD will default to protect their interests. They don't know you personally, so they won't be able to differentiate between controlled actions and rogue actions. They're easily infiltrated - they just had a mole, for crying out loud - and they have no moral center. I know which team I'd rather have watching my back."

James looked up at Scott as he thought how to respond. "To be clear, I wasn't advocating for them to step in. Ever."

"Good, because I'd have you committed."

"I just meant she had a point about the rest of it. She can stuff her cooperation."

Scott let out a long breath and then came over to sit down next to James. "Yes," he said at last. "She's right. She absolutely is."

"So, even with all the work Betsy did, I really shouldn't … I don't belong on a team."

Scott shook his head. "Now, that part I disagree with," he said. "Yes, you're a liability. You are. So is Kate. So is Billy. To be frank, so am I, and so is Rachel with the damn Phoenix chomping at the bit at tasting so much misery. The X-Men as a team were always one big bundle of liabilities that never should have worked. But we did. And you do. Which, I think, is kind of the point."

"It doesn't feel the same, though," James said. "It's not a trigger thing, either. Betsy said she got everything that she could find - and that she dug deep. This is …. I guess because I'm not really doing what I should. Every time things get intense, I end up killing someone, and it's getting worse. It wasn't just one this last time, and the only reason I didn't beat the life out of that little slimeball at the tower was because Thor has a hell of a grip."

Scott nodded and let James say his peace, then gestured outward with both hands. "Times like this, I wish Logan were still alive," he admitted. "I wish it so badly, because he… he could explain this to you better than I could. What it feels like to go into the red, like he'd called it. And the shame he carried around afterward… even though it was always in our defense."

"Yeah, I think I got that figured out," James said. "This is different. I don't feel guilty about it like I probably should."

Scott let out a breath, then bumped shoulders with James. "I'll let Alex know you're converting. He'll be thrilled to add another Catholic to the family, seeing as I stopped going when I was a kid."

"Yeah, no," James said, shaking his head. "Not interested."

"You're sure beating yourself up enough," Scott said.

"Well, maybe because I'm letting people call me a hero when I'm actually just a murderer."

"I seem to remember you coming to me with your parents' files and all sorts of questions about X-Force, which I ran."

The corner of James' mouth tightened up for a moment. "You directed traffic for X-Force. How many of those people did you specifically say needed to actually die - and not just be stopped?"

"Well, damn, James, by that logic, half the war criminals in the world are off the hook for not giving out lists of names," Scott said. "You're not suddenly some supervillain because you've discovered the sad truth that the line isn't always as bright in the sand as we want it to be."

"That ship sailed already, Dad. Magneto was right. It's just a matter of time."

"Oh, to hell with Magneto," Scott said, making a sharp gesture. "I tried to put him in the ground my damn self, or did you forget that? Am I suddenly not worthy in your eyes too?"

"I was talking about being on the team." James looked up to meet his gaze. "Are you saying you're joining up?"

"Why the hell not?" Scott said, gesturing grandly. "Wouldn't be the first time I've been on the team in a support capacity only."

"Support capacity."

"I'm out of practice and have no powers, James. And I don't shoot arrows. What do you want from me, here?" Scott said dryly.

"They could use your expertise," James said.

Scott met James's gaze for a long time and then leaned back, crossing his arms. "You sure the fact that I went to Genosha to assassinate its leader doesn't disqualify me? Or the fact that I ran X-Force?"

"Considering it's your team, I don't think you can come up with a disqualifier," James countered.

"You said yourself being a murderer is off the table. I've got plenty of blood on my hands."

"Then I misspoke. Being me is reason to be off the table," James replied with a little measure of heat.

"That's Viper talking." Scott uncrossed his arms and leaned forward. "And exactly why you can't quit, James. The fact that Hydra - not just Viper - doesn't want to face you in a fight? Says you're doing it right."

"No … just … you're laying it on pretty thick, aren't you?" James asked, looking as if he clearly didn't believe a word of it.

"Nope," Scott said. "It's pure strategy. And something I had to deal with myself when it was Emma isolating me from my friends and my team." He tipped his head. "Trying to stop you from making my mistakes."

At mention of Emma, though, James' eyes narrowed. "How much of this do you think she knew about?"

Scott let out a long breath as he thought about it. "I can't say," he admitted. "She's retreated with her contacts since Tony's army of lawyers came out in force." He paused. "But… if she thought for even a second that she could benefit from Vipers plan…" He trailed off, his eyes narrowed. Emma had always been a bit of a blind spot for him. When he looked up and saw James watching him, he cleared his throat. "Besides," he said in an obvious play to change the subject, "what are you going to tell those kids that were following you around like lost ducklings? You're their hero."

"They liked Nate, too," James said in an attempt to deflect.

"Uh-huh." Scott crossed his arms. "Seriously, James. At least…" He sighed. "At least give it some time. I don't want you making decisions because of Viper."

James matched Scott's stance. "I've been thinking it over, and maybe I'd fit in with a more appropriate crowd," he said, gesturing to his face. "Know where I can find a bunch of murderous pillaging pirates? Arg."

Scott rolled his eyes. "So help me God, if you become a Starjammer, I have failed as a parent."

"If I start dressing like him, I've failed as a human being."

"Please don't." Scott couldn't help but laugh, purely at the mental image.

"But I do need to find something for your birthday…"

Scott laughed again. "Tell you what," he said, still smiling, "you stay away from anything resembling a Starjammer outfit and I'll consider that a present in itself."

"Low bar. I'll get you and your dad matching billowy shirts…some fairy boots … you can bond."

"I'm sorry, did you want me to join the X-Men or the Starjammers - I'm losing the plot here," Scott said, smirking hard.

"Let's see what you can do with horrible facial hair before we decide," James said in a quiet tease. "If you start up with Smoky and the Bandit 'stache, or like… I don't know. A Sam Elliot cookie duster… I'll know what you picked."

"Ah, no."

"Miss Hale might like it."

"Doubt it. She's got two working eyes."

"That's one of us."

"Can't toss my hat in that ring either. I have replacements," Scott said, gesturing to his eyes.

"Yeah, Tony already brought up the possibilities…"

"Let's not think about that until you look less skeletal," Scott said gently. "You're still not back to yourself."

"Don't know if I want to be."

"Believe me, I know that feeling. You saw the wreck I was after Jan and I broke up, right?"

"Yeah, it's not the same, though, Dad."

"Just illustrating with bad facial hair," Scott said, his smile tighter than before. He leaned back again and dragged his hand down his face. "I get it. I do. Lord knows there were times I could barely pick myself up. You should have seen me after Apocalypse."

"Was there horrible facial hair?"

"Yes- would you forget the facial hair? I'm trying to tell you that I get it. But that's also why I'm trying to tell you you shouldn't make any long-lasting decisions when you're still reeling from something like that." He smiled tightly. "Take it from someone who had an affair instead of dealing with his trauma."

"Yeah, I understand that." James was quiet again now that he saw deflecting wasn't going to work. Instead, he was just watching his Dad and listening to the sounds around them. "I'm just not … comfortable with anything anymore."

"I know," Scott said. He took a deep breath, let it out, and added, "Feels sometimes like every single sound is a threat. Like you're watching yourself but not in your body… yeah. I know."

"Different perspective after her."

Scott gestured with one open palm. "Yeah. Been there. Emma."

"Yeah, I got the analogy, and that's how I was taking it," James admitted.

Scott was quiet for a long moment as he tried to figure out what to say, finally settling on, "It's… a little bit different." He let out his breath in a long woosh. "What you… what happened to you… well. Emma never… ah ... to be frank, James, she never forced me."

James tipped his head slightly at that and raised one eyebrow. "I think we're having a difference in definitions here."

Scott looked up and frowned at James. "We must be, seeing as you're the one who was poisoned, tortured, threatened, and under Katarina's mutant power-"

"As opposed to you being under Frost's mutant powers and emotionally manipulated?"

Scott held up a hand. "I appreciate your faith in me, but it's different, James. You don't have any reason to feel guilty. You were kidnapped, tortured, poisoned, and forced into every single thing that happened."

"It's not different. I think I know what I did. I have plenty of reason to feel guilty," James argued.

"Absolutely not," Scott insisted. "You were being tortured and coerced."

"I can't figure out how that changes it," James said. "Logistically, I mean."

"Then explain it to me, because there's no way in hell I can understand why anyone who went through what you went through is responsible for their own abuse," Scott said.

James sat back looking as if he'd rather be anywhere else talking about anything else in that moment, but it was clear to him that his Dad simply couldn't see how wrong he was, either. "Fine," James said slowly. "Aside from the basics on how sex even works … I went along with her." He shrugged one shoulder half heartedly. "More or less."

"Consent isn't a 'more or less' proposition, James," Scott said. When James glared down at his hands, Scott sighed again. "I heard about the memories Rachel pulled from Billy. What he saw," he said slowly, carefully, especially when it was clear James wasn't so sure about the details when someone else was relaying them. "I also know you said 'no'. Again. And again. You begged her to stop, and she didn't. Being too drugged to stop her from taking advantage, or to stop yourself from giving in isn't a crime, James. But even drugged and half-aware, you still said 'no'. That means something. It was more than I could manage and I had a much easier time saying it."

By that time, James was staring at the table with no solid argument. Not when he knew there was a decent sized group that had seen Billy's memories or heard about it. Of course they had. Billy was still pissed. "Doesn't change anything, Dad."

"Doesn't change what happened, but you can call a spade a spade," Scott said.

"So could you."

"Oh for- this isn't about me," Scott said.

"Well I sure as hell don't want it to be all about me," James countered hotly.

"I only brought up my experience to show you that you're a better man than I was," Scott said.

"No, I'm not!"

"I didn't fight Emma on anything, but you did. That was my point."

"You couldn't fight her when she'd crawled into your head lying about her reasons in," James countered. "If a telepath could get into my thick skull, do you think I'd be able to fight them off any easier than anyone else?"

"I went along with it," Scott said - not at all realizing how much he sounded like James, too.

"So did I," James said.

"You mean when you were drugged and couldn't stop her?"

"No different than when your father figure and wife told you to trust her, is it?"

Scott had one finger pointed at James, but before he could say anything else, Rachel announced her presence by walking into the room with a loud "Oh-kay I think you've both successfully argued that your experiences were terrible with evil predators. Please stop fighting now before you go in any more circles."

"How long have you been listening in, Rachel?" Scott asked, turning his pointing finger her way.

"Since she was 13."

Rachel gave James a dirty look, but turned back to Scott. "Only once I heard you were thinking about actually following through on the offer to wear an X-patch again. Didn't expect the left turn the conversation took after that, but hey, now that you've both more or less talked yourselves into admitting what happened to you by proxy of the other person's experience…"

"Not the same," both Scott and James said, nearly in unison.

Rachel gave them both dry looks for that. "Right."

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. "Rachel, is there a reason you came down in the first place?"

"She wants to know what color you'll be wearing," James said.

"Actually? Yeah. Kate and Jan need to conspire," Rachel said, turning the full force of a wicked grin her dad's way.

Scott looked between the two of them. "Seriously?"

"You're right. You're right. You should just leave it in Jan's capable hands," Rachel said, nodding along as James shrugged openly. "If you wanted to, you could even have her redesign it entirely, make sure no one figures out your old identity. Or, you know, just use the Cyclops persona with you're actual X-ray vision…"

"You're having too much fun with this," Scott grumbled.

"Yep!" Rachel said brightly.

"Hey Rach," James called out as Rachel began to bounce her way out of the room. When she turned his way, James couldn't wait to hit her with the truth. "You know, if you ever thought you were in charge before? You definitely aren't now."

Rachel stopped, spun on her heel, and pointed at James. "Rude."

"True."

"Now, wait, I'm not-" Scott started to say.

"Yes you are," James and Rachel said at the same time - in agreement even if the tone was different.

"This is just a supporting - you kids started this team on your own-"

"Hey, Dad?" James said in the same tone he'd just used with Rachel. "Who called the shots behind the scenes when you started up? Just curious." He pointed one finger at Scott. "And … what was the team named again?"

Scott spluttered a few times, but when his kids were both united like that, he finally fell back on leaning back, crossing his arms, and shaking his head. "We're not renaming the team to C-men. The jokes alone…"

"Not what I was going for, but interesting that's where your mind went," James said.

Scott got to his feet, already waving them both off. "I'm sure I'll find you both later, whenever you've recruited Jan."

"Oh, she's been on retainer for this since we started it," Rachel admitted. "Just … waiting for you to catch up."

"She said - and I'm quoting here- 'he's cute, but slow. He'll catch up.'," James said.

"Oh my god," Scott muttered under his breath, simply leaving the room before the two of them could make anything worse.

As soon as their dad had left, though, Rachel made her way over to pounce at her little brother for a bear hug. "What's that for?" James asked as he caught her and doubled down into a hug with her.

"You do see the parallels, don't you?" Rachel asked gently. "Because I need to know you can see that much, at least."

James sighed, and Rachel readjusted to make sure he knew she wasn't letting him go just yet. She just wasn't expecting him to curl in a little more and rest his head on her shoulder in response. So, without doing any digging, she just held on tight while he was clearly trying to control his emotions - and barely managing to keep himself from having a much bigger reaction.

Of course I can see it, Rach, James projected finally. But I can't breathe when I think about it, I can't …

Hey. It's okay. She didn't know what else to say, but with her brother at least admitting it to her, that gave her enough to push back the Phoenix when it started trying to feed off of the despair and misery rolling off of James in crashing waves. It also had Rachel a little wary of what she might say, so instead, she held on to her little brother until he could breathe again. All the things you're thinking about yourself … all the self depreciating things that go hand in hand with the mental torture she put you through … You know it was just another way to get you to give up and give in, right?

James nodded with a shaky breath, but didn't need to say what he was thinking with Rachel right there, and ready to try and help.

Dad's right, Rachel said, which at least got a laugh out of James. They're afraid to face you at full steam. So … continue hiding if you want. Keep your head down, look as miserable as you think fits when there's a chance of cameras, but little brother? I need you at full speed. So does Nate, and Kate, and Billy, and Mia … I'll help you if you want my help, but no matter what … I need you to try and get back to being you.

I'm trying, Rach. I am.

Good, she replied, then smiled warmly before she tightened her hug for a moment then kissed his cheek. "Come on. You and I haven't gone to spend time just us in forever. And as protective as Nate has been, I'm still the big sister. Even if both of you dorks have gotten taller, it's my job to protect you. So … come on. Let's get something to eat. You're still too skinny and Nate is driving me nuts strutting around wearing tank tops with a snowstorm in the forecast."

"He'd be doing that anyhow," James told her, stepping back with a sigh.

"Ah, not as much if you were back to yourself," Rachel countered. "And I'm afraid you won't feel like yourself if you don't quit hiding."

"Workin' on it."

"I know. So. Sushi. You and me. You can buy."

James let out a breath of a laugh as Rachel grinned, and the two of them headed out arm in arm. She knew he needed a little teasing, too … but she wanted to be the one to instigate it. And knowing that her little brother was struggling so hard to accept what had happened and simply admit to what to call it … she knew he needed her more than he would ever admit.

As it turned out, James was actually perfect for Kate as a tutor, if she was honest. He didn't make her feel stupid like his genius-tutors had when she didn't understand something but tried to explain it about four different ways until he found the way that stuck. And he was patient with her, especially since she was brilliant at math (archery, angles, and counting cello music had a way of doing that) but she couldn't for the life of her get through biology. She was pretty good at English, but the economics section of her US Government social science class was doing murder on her brain, too.

She had a feeling she would have been doing even better with James as her mentor if her extended family would just leave. her. alone.

The latest study session was going well until Luke Cage peeked in, not at all subtle about the fact that he was checking up on her. And, well, all things considered and knowing what Jessica Jones had been through in her life, it wasn't like Kate didn't get it. That whole protective male need to check on her. She did. She got it. But she was trying so hard to get her life on track and the constant check ins weren't helping on several levels.

She tried to ignore Luke at first with a waved-off, "I'm studying," but when he took that as an invitation to come in and ask how it was going, she sighed and signed to James, Everyone here does this. Everyone.

I know. If I knew how to make him stop, I would. James signed back, not at all hiding that he was going around Luke so they weren't talking in front of him.

The worst part is that I get it, Kate said. I'd want to check in too.

He already did that, James said. Three times this week.

Yeah. Kate let her shoulders drop. "I'm going to take a break," she decided and started to pack up her things. "I think I sorta get the endocrine system, anyway."

"You'd have it down if you weren't being interrupted by nosy, pushy, well intentioned busy bodies," James said, trying to see how blatant the hints had to be for Luke. "Like the bullet proof mother hen over here."

"Now I know you didn't just call me a mother hen," Luke said as Kate snorted into her hand. "Do I need to smack you one?"

"Please," James replied, perfectly relaxed. "Just don't pull your punch."

Luke looked disarmed by James's invitation - purely because he was, despite appearances, worried about James too. He just didn't have any idea how to approach James, all things considered. And it showed.

"I'll just let you two do this … thing," Kate said, gesturing between them. "I shall find my boyfriend. Ta!" she added over her shoulder in her best damsel voice, flouncing away and grinning.

She had to text Nate to have him come meet her, since she and James were done early and she wasn't supposed to go anywhere alone with SHIELD being stupid and Hydra being pissy, but once Nate did show up, she grinned and bounced over to kiss his cheek. "Your brother told Luke to try and hit him, and I saw the loading screen happen in real time."

"He's going to actually get hit if he keeps it up," Nate said. "How was studying?"

Kate let out a full body sigh and then grabbed his hand, dragging him along with her so she could talk to him without being overheard by one of the many Avengers in her extended family trying to look after her. Tony being the worst, considering he was her godfather.

Once they were hidden in one of the guest rooms the Avengers had for rotating members, she rolled her eyes and threw back her head. "I'd probably be about five times better at studying if this place wasn't full of people asking if I'm okay," she said. "I'm less okay when they ask!"

"You could tell them that," Nate pointed out.

"Yeah, but have you ever had to look Captain America in the eyes, see how much he's torn up inside, and tell him, 'hey, the fact that you're bothered for me is bothering me, so can you tone down your protectiveness?'"

"No, I have not had to do that, but if i makes it easier on you, I fully endorse it."

Kate blew a stray hair out of her face. "You make everything sound so simple," she said. "Nothing scares you."

"That's just not true," Nate argued.

"You're hot and fearless; it's kind of the big turn-on, babe," Kate teased him.

"Oh, well, if that's the context …"

Kate laughed and stole a kiss. "It is. So, you gonna argue?"

"Not even a little," Nate answered with a grin. "I'm also not stupid."

"I keep telling you that," Kate agreed and then stole a longer kiss, in a good enough mood that she wanted to try pushing again for a little more. Which was a great way to settle into a good, long make out session that they both had, honestly, needed.

It took a while for James to finish out his last paper, and before long, he finally had to admit to himself between tutoring sessions with Kate, that he had to go back to Cambridge just to access the library for a few final touches. What he wasn't expecting though, was for Billy to decide that now was the time to join him.

James had barely pulled up to the house in Cambridge and gotten inside when he realized he wasn't alone - and that Billy had already ordered take out for the two of them and was setting out the plates for dinner.

"Um … what …" James slipped his coat off, looking at the arrangement and watching Billy quietly continue on as if nothing was unusual. "I thought…"

"We're both eighteen, we're busted out in the press, and I can wish myself to the school in the morning - just like we used to do," Billy said. "As long as you're not triggered by me being here with you, I don't mind telling you that I am tired of not being able to be close to you at night. If you want me to take the other room-"

"No, no," James said, then crossed the space for a quiet kiss. "That's not what I was saying at all."

"Then … what's the problem?"

"Nothing. I just had a moment. Little flashback to trying to not piss anyone adult off. Now … I was thinking that if we're going to do this, I don't know how often I'll want to go back before the year is up, so … maybe I want to ask you if you'd help get Kate here for tutoring sometimes. I think she needs a break anyhow. Just … there's a lot of hovering that makes her study time less than efficient."

"Oh no, you want me to get my best friend here too? The horrors," Billy said with a teasing smile before he laughed lightly. "I'd love to get her. She needs a break."

"Okay," James said with a slow nod. "Then … I'll leave it to you to reach out to her. Or surprise her. Whatever you think she'll react best to." He leaned over to kiss Billy's cheek. "Hi, honey. Welcome home."

Billy's smile stretched wider. "When you put it like that, I think I can wait until tomorrow to talk to Kate. I'm kind of looking forward to getting back to our normal."

"You and me both," James agreed, then took Billy's offered hand. "Did you pick the cute delivery guy?"

"I picked the deli," Billy said. "Nice delivery people, but I'm not looking at them."

"Sweet talker," James whispered, and though he was starting to respond closer to the way Billy had missed, he still wasn't comfortable with any references to his looks. But Billy was prepared to help him work on that part for as long as it took. Even if he was hoping it would be accepted sooner than later.