Quinn sat before her mirror, trying to look deeper at her appearance, trying to find ONE attractive thing about her. She couldn't. As she slowly undid her braids she looked into her mirror, almost in awe about how much she didn't change. When she was five she had started wearing glasses, and since then it kind of stuck to her like glue, and now being fourteen and practically a teenager, she looked the same. The same Quinn who guys were afraid of, the same Quinn who would spend her Saturday nights on the couch watching Bill Nye.
By herself.
And as Quinn began straightening her hair she realized that she could not – no she would not be that person again. It hurts when you're bullied and people call you a freak and push you in lockers, it hurts when you're surrounded by all of these beautiful people and feel almost obsolete. Like you don't belong. Quinn wasn't sure if she belonged, she wasn't sure about anything anymore. She wasn't sure of kissing Mark was the right thing to do, or if she was just being weird, which was something she was insanely good at.
Quinn slowly set the straightener down and took off her glasses, peering at the wooden rimmed frames. She had perfect 20/20 vision but wore glasses because she thought it made her look studious. Now she thought it made her look like a freak, a freak who zapped fruits and turned them into articles of clothing, a freak who didn't have a roommate and was lonely sometimes. A freak who was her. She placed her hands firmly on the glasses, sighing so she wouldn't be in for a shock and – crack – she snapped the glasses in half.
Quinn Pensky wasn't going to freak - well not anymore.
Chase Matthews quickly sat before his laptop, turning it on as soon as he walked into his dorm room. Hanging out with Zoey had been as usual – fun, but now he had a sudden burst of inspiration and wanted to leak it out into words. He needed to do it. Breathing heavily, he took a deep breath before placing his fingers on the keyboard and typing furiously.
They had been friends for a while and to him it had seemed that there was no reward greater than being her best friend. They were able to talk to each other, have deep discussions about grapes and laugh about what bogus thing their teacher said that day. He had always enjoyed her company. But as the days went on, and the two got older he quickly wondered to himself, "Will I tell her?" He didn't want to ruin a friendship which was built solely on trust, he didn't want to be turned down and have things turn awkward between them. So he kept his mouth shut, but in the back of his mind, he was often wondering, "Will I ever tell her?" And maybe, someday he would.
Chase let out a sigh and saved the file on his laptop before closing it and taking out his cell phone, he flipped through his contacts before he found Zoey's number. Mustering up all the confidence he could he dialed the number and waited for her to answer while fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat.
After one ring Zoey answered, "Hey Chase", she sounded cheery, "What's up?"
The sound of her voice filling his ears overwhelmed him greatly that he almost forgot what he was going to say, standing to his feet Chase began to pace around his dorm room, "Hey Zoey", he swallowed, "I was wondering if you wanted to go to a movie later? You don't have to go, I was just wondering…"
"Chase", Zoey sounded firm, "I…"
"We can go tomorrow; I mean it's no big deal…"
"Chase".
"I have a ton of homework to do anyways".
"Chase!" Zoey lowered her voice, "I'd love to go, pick me up at seven?"
"Yeah, yeah", Chase tried to hide the excitement from his voice, "I'll pick you up at seven".
"Okay, cool. See you later Chase", Zoey hung up.
Chase hung up and reclined back into his chair, laughing to himself as he did so. Tonight's the night, Chase thought in satisfaction, tonight's the night I'm going to tell her.
"Tonight's the night!" Zoey exclaimed as she threw her clothes on her bed, and began rummaging through them, she picked up a shirt and held it up to Nicole, "What do you think?"
Nicole sipped on her strawberry slushy, "I think that that's my shirt".
"Nicole!" Zoey put on her best puppy dog face, "Please?"
"Fine", Nicole walked over to her bed and flopped down on it, "So you're going to tell Chase tonight?"
"Yeah", Zoey smiled and nodded, "I am".
Nicole took a long sip from her strawberry slushy at set it down on her night stand, closing her eyes as she experienced the tormenting feel of bran freeze, "Good. I'm tired of seeing you be so miserable".
"I'm not miserable!"
"Whatever".
"Well I gotta go", Zoey quickly pulled the shirt over her head, "See you later Nicole".
"Later", Nicole waved and watched Zoey walk out the door.
Michael Barrett was never one to show his true emotions, he was never one to cry in public. He was never one to cry, period. But as he sat in his dorm room that night tears dripped off his eyes and slowly onto the carpet as if it was raining inside. He was on the phone with his father, who too was crying.
Michael cleared his throat, "So she has cancer?" Michael wiped the tears from his eyes with his hand and shook the wetness out – he clutched the phone his hand furiously and was trying his best not to cry.
"Yeah, she was diagnosed last week", his father seemed weak and his voice was loosing its strength.
"Can I – can I talk to her?" Michael asked suddenly, the question both alarming him and his father.
"Michael… I wish you could", his father sounded hopeful, but upset at the same time, "But she's so tired – she can't. I'm sorry Michael".
"Yeah, it's okay", Michael sighed, "I gotta go".
"Michael…"
"Bye", Michael turned off the phone and lay on his bed, the tears leaking helplessly from his eyes. She had been his rock, she couldn't have cancer, and sure as hell she couldn't die.
Dana sat in the PCA lounge with a computer placed in front of her, she had moved to the lounge because it was quieter than her dorm, hearing Zoey and Nicole go on about some useless topic, like what nail polish color matched best with their outfit. Dana wasn't in to that sort of thing and she wanted to be completely at rest when she was writing her e-mail to Logan, she needed to focus, she needed to be kept alone.
Logan,
I'm very sorry that your grandmother died. I hope you know that a lot of people at PCA care about you – and your family. We hope everything is going okay, and a lot of us miss you. We hope you're doing okay and – um something really funny happened today, we were in Mr. Bender's class and he let out this wretched fart – wow. You should've been there. You would've died laughing. A lot of people miss you and hope you come back soon.
-Dana.
Dana looked at the computer screen, what was I thinking? She looked at the e-mail again, closer this time. I sound so clingy, I sound like I actually care about him. Dana was quickly interrupted by Nicole walking up to her computer, not knowing what to do, Dana hit enter and quickly logged off the computer.
"Hey!" Nicole perkily skipped over to Dana, "What you writing?"
"Nothing", Dana smiled, "Um, nothing at all".
"Do you wanna go somewhere? We could get Michael and go get a slushy…"
"Sure!" Dana jumped up, "Let's go".
Shit she thought as she walked away with Nicole, I sent the e-mail…
Logan sat upstairs in his bedroom, the lights were off and he had just turned on the computer, the light somehow blinded him and he put his hand up to his eyes to shield the light. It was seven at night and everyone in his house was asleep, it was better then mopping around the house – crying. Logan quickly logged into his email account and looked at his inbox. He had one e-mail from Dana.
Dana?
Suddenly his heart leaped and he quickly opened the e-mail, reading it as fast as he could, and rereading it, and reviewing it. After the fourth time reading the e-mail he actually smiled, so she really cares about me, Logan thought and flipped open his cell phone. He had to call her, he had to say something.
"Hello?" Dana answered on the first ring.
"Dana", Logan cleared his throat, "It's Logan".
"Logan". Dana repeated softly, "How are you?"
"I got your e-mail".
"Oh", Dana breathed, "So you read it?"
"Yeah, and um thanks", Logan heaved a huge sigh.
"You're welcome".
"So, Mr. Bender ripped a fart today?"
"You could say that…"
"Sorry I missed it".
"I'd say you're lucky", Dana let out a nervous laugh, "It was really wretched, I don't think I breathed the rest of the period, tears were leaking from Nicole's eyes – it was just horrible".
Logan laughed, "Wow".
"So – uh – how are you doing?" Dana chose her words carefully, "After what happened and everything?"
"I'm fine", Logan sounded stern, "I gotta go".
He quickly hung up, lowered his head and just started crying.