I Don't Own Harry Potter
Plot Idea #6: What would happen if everyone got together in seventh year and somehow managed to play Never have I ever, with a spell bound circle that makes them be completely truthful?
Chapter 6: Never Have I Ever
I couldn't fucking believe this situation had somehow come about, but here I was, sitting down in a circle that consisted of in order to my right: Theo, Tracy, Daphne, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Ginny, Sirius, Flitwick, Moody, and finally Blaise on my left... Yeah, this was honestly one of the weirdest Halloween's I've ever had, and I've done some really weird things on this holiday.
"Why are we all here again?" I ignored the glare Harry was giving me for existing, and really did wonder why this was happening. I didn't really care, it was party games, and while this was a waste of my time... I didn't really have anything else to do at the moment either so...
"Because it would be fun! With how crazy the last few years have been I figured everyone would want some kind of relaxation!" Sirius... I still had no idea how he managed to get this past McGonagall to be honest, it was almost impressive he got us all here. I leaned back and raised an eyebrow as Theo slipped something out of his pocket, it was a small disk and... oh. I gave him a look, to which he just smiled at before quickly scooting forwards and saying.
"How about we make things a bit more interesting? I mean we all are adults here right?" I wanted so badly to tell him that what he was about to do was the definition of childish and we were about to play child's games, but instead let it run. They all had been so stressed this year already even though it's only begun with the NEWTs they were going to have to take. I figured this might as well put some of that off their shoulders... Though I doubt this is going to go the way they think this will, especially with that item...
Well it'll be fun to watch the chaos that's about to happen at any rate.
"Yeah? What do you have in mind?" Sirius looked interest in the item Theo was holding as he moved it into the center of the circle before moving back and gave me a nudge, then said.
"It's a truth compulsion rune thing that Kyu made" I rolled my eyes as a number of other people's turned to look at me.
"It's a bit more complex than that, but basically it works like an area of effect of the Veritaserum serum which, unless you fight it, will do nothing but make sure you can't lie, in most ways, so taking a shot to not would probably count... It's an older item I wouldn't risk testing it, just be careful about what you say. You might... over explain" With that I glanced over at Sirius who looked at the item in interest before nodding to me, I just snapped my fingers as the little disk with a very complex runic array in the middle lit up a faint bit and then settled, it's effects now on us all.
"Alright! Now this will be interesting, everyone got a shot of Green Ale?" I looked down at my own shot glass, the liquid in it was constantly moving just a bit and while it was lime green, I wasn't sure if that was suppose to make it better. It just reminded me of lake water going down a drain with how it swirled about. Adding onto the fact I wasn't much for drinking in general? Well, I don't really know if getting drunk it stopped by my immortality, but if it is I wouldn't mind, but I guess I'm about to find out.
"Alright then! Let's go in clockwise order, and I'll start us off!" It was Sirius, I had no idea what he was going to say, it was probably going to be ridiculous, so of course it was "Never have I ever been a virgin going into my seventh year!"
I rolled my eyes, then paused to think about it, I wasn't a virgin. I was in my early twenties when I was sent here after all, but Kyu Malo, this body, has never had sex before, because fuck that would be so gross with how out of sync I am mentally and psychically... What would be funny? The answer was obvious, I along with a blushing Blaise and Daphne didn't touch our glasses along with Ginny and Luna who couldn't answer it as they were sixth years.
Moody actually didn't touch his either but Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, Theo, and Tracy all drank up as I turned to my left and gave Blaise a raised eyebrow.
"Shut up, we're teenagers. How the hell have you... Like- I figured-... Never mind I really don't want to know" Yeah, that was the response I expected but a number of the adults were giving me and my two friends looks now, I ignored it.
"Wow, I'm so disappointed in the next generation. Next a real man!" Blaise rolled his eyes as the focus was put on him as the other's shot glasses had already begun refilling themselves automatically.
"Let's see, Never have I ever... Got less than an O on a major potions exam" I watched with interest as basically everyone, no wait, everyone expect me and Blaise took a shot at that. He looked smug, which was fair, he was prideful about how good he was at potions.
A few seconds later, I realized it was now my turn... I wanted everyone to drink so I'll start off simple and go to the crazy later on.
"Never have I ever been straight" I smirked very lightly to myself as everyone gave me a slight look at that, nothing out of homophobia from what I could see, more out of shock of just saying that out loud in the 1990s right after admitting I've had sex before. It'll get the rumors going at least... Hmm, I didn't really care but that would be annoying in the future I'm sure... Whatever.
All the same everyone drank expect Theo, who shrugged a bit, though I did make note to talk to him about that later on, cause he seemed a bit embarrassed and awkward at sort of being outed, which honestly I now kind of regretted asking, that shit can go really bad, and then there was Sirius who loudly pronounced himself Bi when asked. Oh, and Luna didn't drink either, but I don't think she really would have cared if I had asked her anything sort of murder... Actually I think she still wouldn't care.
"Um" Theo stuttered a bit and I took a sort moment to reach up and poke him in the shoulder to get him out of his own head, he shot me a look at the touch, and honestly I was a bit surprised at my own actions, but I knew how terrifying it could be for other people, so I gave him his moment. He sorted himself out pretty quickly afterwards though and said.
"Never have I ever defeated Voldemort!" He seemed proud of himself as he gave me a look, I just rolled my eyes and raised a shot glass up and downed the shot in one go as Harry did the same, the bitter yet sharp burning taste of the drink hit my tongue before sliding past and burning it's way down my throat. I held back the cough that came up and one most people let out as I just placed my glass down like i hadn't just done that. Though I did note that unfortunately it seemed I wasn't as immune as I hoped.
"Fuck you" My voice was raspier than it should have been but I ignored that because everyone's voices were taking a bit of a hit from all this, but I did note I was only on one shot... This might not go the best. Theo just laughed and from there the game continued, going around a few times, a couple things coming out from the others, but I mostly got by alright. Taking another two shots by the time it came back to Sirius, which mostly came from Harry saying he wasn't a dark wizard, so that was a shot, and Ron getting me by saying he's never been out of Europe. That got me even more looks, but I couldn't really not take a shot so I did it anyway.
"Never have I been a Slytherin" I rolled my eyes again as I and most my friends took a shot at the obvious shot as I smirked as Blaise followed it up with a sharp never been a Gryffindor. Though he did slur over the words a bit, honestly everyone was already looking a bit fucked. Besides the older adults of course, but they to seemed to be enjoying it enough to not be to out of it, even Moody seemed to not be having to bad a time. But I figured he'd love an excuse to drink, the amount of chronic pain he was in must mean any chance to get shit face was appreciated.
It was my turn again, and while there was a faint tingle in the back of my head, I wasn't a man of willpower for no reason as I managed to not even sound the slightest bit tipsy as I spoke... Though my tongue did flicker about a bit weirdly when I tried to force out the weirder words.
"Never have I ever..." Fuck I forgot to think of something... Uh... "Not been Mexican" Yeah that worked, I was only a bit over half Mexican technically, which was by itself confusing for a term cause I was born in America in my last life, but I still counted it as it was my ethnicity, then I looked up and noticed everyone was giving me a look. I raised an eye brow.
"What?" Blaise was the first one to break it with a confused tone.
"Your Mexican?" I just shrugged.
"Half Hispanic, mostly from Central Mexico, and a part of Spain, the other less than half is mostly German actually... No here thinks I'm fully white right? I'm like five shades darker than Theo at least" I lifted my thumb up and pointed it to my right at Theo who still looked a bit surprised... How was this a surprise? I know we're in Britain, but it's not like people from Mexico are incapable of coming here and having kids or anything. Besides, I'm clearly fucking not fully white.
"Sorry, it's just never came up? I figured you just tanned easily or something" I blame that on the white half of my mixed ass, but I just rolled my eyes all the same. This is the problem with being words on a screen, people get confused about what you look like, it's not like it matters, but I'm sure this is surprising a lot of people because it- Fuck, wait, I'm breaking the fourth wall, this is why I shouldn't get drunk!
"It doesn't really matter, anyway, basically all of you are white as shit and/or not Hispanic, so drink" And they did, though I noticed faintly the way my friends and the others were looking at me, I was to out of character, shit, I couldn't really slip back into it, but neither did I really want to, drinking could do a lot to make someone act weird, I can easily blame it on that later. Plus, as strange as it was, fuck did it feel good to act as I wanted to, even in the small ways, being able to be a bit of a vulgar shit was great.
It reminded me of how I use to be. Back when I was a lot more impulsive at least. Fuck I missed that guy, the one barely out of his teens who didn't give a shit about life and did whatever he thought would be interesting, who let his ADHD run it's course and get him in situations where he'd be able to say he did something insane with a grin and a well promised story. I could only do half of that now, and it was never something I chose to do.
"Never have I never been able to speak a second language" I rolled my eyes and took the shot before glancing over to a few others also taking them. Blaise did, he spoke Italian actually, it was pretty neat. Moody did, so did Sirius, but...
"Harry take a drink" The teen, now with a bit to many shots in him to really be able to be constantly angry at me, blinked, clearly confused.
"I don't speak any other language?" I rolled my eyes and spoke up. In parseltongue.
"Yeah you do" He blinked, having to take a second to recognize what I was speaking before blinking again in shock.
"Oh right... I know two languages, huh" I just snorted as he took a shot, everyone mostly looking amused if a bit weirded out at the use of the snake's tongue.
"Don't worry, I speak like twenty and most of the time I don't even think about it" Hermione gave me an interested look at that and the snarky part of my mind that I normally crushed under iron will power wanted to tell her to fuck off in Greek or something. I stopped it down and ignored the warmth in my gut from where all the alcohol was fucking with me while mentally reciting every sobriety spell I knew just in case. I was getting in the spot of drunkenness that I hated. When my self control slipped away, and under a truth spell, this would be very dangerous.
"Anyways! Mine turn, my tune, turn... Fuck" Tracey blinked to herself and shook her head, all it did was make her head wobble about like a bobble head, it got some laughs and I made a note that she was a light weight. "Ok, so, Never have I ever..." She paused again and looked around at us all, seeming not knowing what to say, then her eyes landed on Moody and a gleam appeared in her eyes "Lost a body part!"
I just rolled my eyes as Moody took his shot with a grumble while I reached down and grabbed my own glass and tossed it back, my mouth to numb now to really feel it anymore. Everyone was staring at me now as I looked up and stared back before saying before I could help it.
"I got my fingers cut off once, it hurt... Want a demonstration?" It was just a splinching thing, not to big a deal, though I could lose a limb and not worry to much about it. It would just take a while to grow back, like maybe two or three minutes. Honestly limb regrowing was faster than some of my regeneration abilities, like being vesicated by one of Voldemort's lackys took longing to heal from than losing most of one of my hand's fingers. Mostly cause it was dark magic, but still.
Daphne quickly spoke up, probably not trusting her currently drunk immortal friend to not cut off his fingers to prove a point. I wasn't going to, but she was also drunk at this point, though she was good at hiding it.
"I really don't want to see that again. So moving on... Never have I ever got drunk playing never have I ever" Daphne was chaotic evil and I was fine with it, this wasn't so bad really, sure I kind of hated being so blurry, but right now it was mostly harmless. So I threw back the shot without issue along with literally everyone else. Harry half choked on his before he managed to get out his go.
"Uh. Never have I ever... been caught committing a big crime" I shrugged and threw back a shot, a number of eyes went to me again though I wasn't the only one drinking. Sirius was of course, because he technically did get caught during attempted murder, and he had done a lot of other things as well, so no one really questioned that, but the surprise was still towards me.
"Since when were you ever caught doing anything?" I let out a scoff like laugh and looked around for a moment to make sure they were serious... They were.
"Your kidding right?" Everyone just kept looking at me as I rolled my eyes "I'm a known murderer people. It was literally on today's headline about how I killed a man. Last time I checked that's a crime, and literally everyone knows about it, not to mention the like three dozen witnesses that were there. It's just no one cares to send me to jail for it"
"Right... Fuck, my best friend is a serial killer, and literally everyone knows it" Blaise was being dramatic, and completely right, but that's not important.
"If it makes you feel better Moody's definitely killed people as well, he's just an Auror so he can get way with it as well"
"No, no that does not make me feel better mate!" I shrugged. Now he was just being ridiculous.
"How about I just go and we don't think about the fact someone our age is a killer?" Hermione seemed to want to get the plot back and everyone seemed to want to stop thinking about the fact that I was a murderer. I had no idea why this was such a big deal. Hell, out of all my PTSD, the killing part of it all honestly was no to a big part of it, or a part of it at all really. That part didn't really matter to much to me.
...Ok, maybe that is an issue...
"Never have I ever not read a book that a teacher assigned" Most of the Gryffindor's groaned as most threw back a shot expect for Ginny, Luna also took one, as well as most of the teacher's interestingly enough. I also took one and like always one of my friends tried to call me out on it.
"Come off it, no way"
"Lockhart" That one answer was all I needed to say, Theo just sighed and nodded, then took a shot himself, and that got the rest who hadn't to take one as well. I smirked to myself maybe a bit to freely, but it was funny... God I'm a happy drunk this time around. That's fucking weird.
"I really don't think he should count but fine"
"No way mate, he was a prick" Ron of all people said that one before getting a muttering from Hermione, he just rolled his eyes and said "Never have I ever sucked up to a teacher who was obviously a pompous ass" Hermione looked absolutely betrayed, it was... Hah!
The eyes were back as I realized I had laughed out loud as I leaned back. The movement so familiar to my time in college almost a decade ago that it caused an ache in the pleasant buzz in my chest. Still, it was almost shocking even to me when I realized it, I actually stopped laughing a second after in shock as I blinked to myself before saying
"Fuck that was weird. What's the percentage on this shit?" Leaning back up I grabbed the shot glass and realized I had downed at least ten of these things and was only seventeen, no wonder I was getting fucked up. I barely even grinned under a high powered laughing charm, and this shit was what did it?
"Can we stop? I think hearing Kyu laugh is going to be in my nightmares" I held back a snort for Theo's apparent mental health, but it was amusing all the same.
"Oh please, with the shit in my head, me laughing would be a godsend" I shouldn't have said that... Oh well.
"Is it really that bad?" Theo shouldn't have asked, and I shouldn't have opened my mouth, but I was feeling lighter and heavier than I had in months, and I just wanted to speak my mind for once, so that's what I did. I could deal with the consequences later, I was basically a fucking god after all!
"Oh you have no idea, if I already wasn't insomniac then I'd probably never go to my room much less try to sleep. Like, top three would definitely the times I've been tortured of course, but I personally think that time I almost died to that werewolf attack in Knockturn is up there pretty high surprisingly. That shit was terrifying in the moment" Blaise made that stabbed cat noise again as I turned over and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"You didn't tell me about this!" I blinked.
"Obviously, you overreact to everything, if I told you half the things I did then you'd never let me leave your sight. Much less that I basically had my chest ripped open by a werewolf and it was half a miracle that I wasn't cursed from it" If it had fallen on a day that was in the week up to a full moon then I wouldn't have been near as lucky.
I noticed everyone was giving me horrified look which was undeserved, I haven't even told them bout some of the worst parts. Honestly the reason why that one stood out so much was because of how fucking close the man got, slamming me into a wall with nails digging into my skin, inches away from my heart... Most of the worst memories I have come from before I had to worry about death or when I was just in way to much pain to care about my immortality.
"I'm putting a tracking charm on you and I swear if you don't tell me the next time you almost die, I'm going to kill you myself" I snorted at that.
"You can definitely try, I figure killing me would be a great stress reliever for a lot of people"
"That's not funny mate"
"I wasn't trying to be, a lot of people want to kill me" He looked a bit sick at the thought, honestly a number of them did as I just blinked, before rolling my eyes, I could have kept talking, but this was getting weird, and even when drunk, I was not the type to open up that much. "Whatever, back to the game we were playing and not about my barely taped together psyche. Luna?"
The girl to her credit didn't even seem that shocked, then again with the stories and ideas her mind came up, it wasn't surprising. I did like her go though, it was interesting.
"Never have I ever died" Ah chaos, I grabbed my shot and flung it back without hesitation as I looked up and at this point it seemed they were either getting to drunk, to use to me taking shots on crazy things, or were to shocked to react. Ginny being the good lad she was just coughed a bit violently before taking her go.
"Never have I ever... gone to a muggle school" Shot, obviously. I had a fucking degree in English after all. Hermione did the same, though looking a bit put out, I gave her a raised eyebrow and she just huffed.
"I'm still technically enrolled in public schooling, but I have to get it all done over the summer so I don't fail my primary education. Hogwarts doesn't even teach math! It's ridiculous and so time consuming" ...Shit... I mean I could totally get my... What is it in Britain? I was going to say my GED, but I'm pretty sure that's an American term... I'll figure it out later and just mind control the right people or something.
"Oh right, I lived in an orphanage so I couldn't really do that because I didn't want to bother to explain why I needed summer classes, not to mention I was almost always busy during the time. I just self studied whatever I needed" I hadn't even thought about it, because, you know, college graduate. High school was like... eleven years ago? Sounds about right, though I'm a bit to fucked up to really manage counting right now so it might be a bit off.
"Really? I know your really smart Kyu but that's a lot of material to learn and without a guide you're probably missing a lot of things" I just shrugged, it was nice to be worried over, but her boyfriend and his entire family literally couldn't even do middle school level maths with a calculator to help him, I was hardly the worst one off here.
"Ok how about we move on yes?" Flitwick was trying to get us back to the game, considering he was not even half my height, probably a fifth of my already worrying weight, and took great joy in his many shots, I was honestly impressed by the fact he was still able to speak properly. "Never have I ever been half human"
"Do Animagus forms count?" I had already grabbed my glass anyway but it was good to have an excuse, because fuck knows if I even count as human, as I got a nod with a shrug as me and Sirius downed our drinks. I spoke up before anyone could question it much. "Second year, I'm a grey fox"
"You lot should have seen my reaction when I found out! Here's this tiny kid casually telling me my life story while in this massive chamber with a snake corpse in it before heading to the headmaster's office before turning into a fox of all things" I rolled my eyes.
"You looked like you were going to pass out from shock, or starvation thinking about it... it was still pretty entertaining at the time, though discussing how I would break out of Azkaban was meh" At this point all the talks seemingly had let the drinks get in our blood more as at this point Ginny just scoffed and said.
"Of course you could break out of Azkaban. You could say you've time traveled at this point and we'd just nod" I snorted as Hermione choked on her own spit before seemingly dissolving into a giggle fit, cause, please, time travel was the same year.
"You make it sound like I haven't done that before" She just stared at me before looking up at the ceiling like she was trying to make a decision to push the topic, finally the red head just sighed and nodded to the person next to her to go. Moody of course didn't seem to realize the mood, to just didn't care as he said.
"Never have I ever, erm, had a vision problem" He laughed to himself, the sound slightly disturbing, but apparently not as bad as me laughing cause no one blinked as he raised and downed his glass, obviously just wanting the shot of ale, while I just rolled my eyes as I lifted my own glass up and gave a half cheer to the air as Harry managed to get down his own show as I tossed my hair back to force the now mostly tasteless liquid down my throat, which was to numb now to really notice.
Blaise was fine with following up the generally fair and normal turn from Moody, by staring directly at me, swaying just a bit even from where he was sitting, and said.
"Never have I ever lied about almost dying, repeatedly, as in more than five times" I rolled my eyes... then took a moment to count them up for a long moment. Technically the Basilisk, then Riddle in the Chamber, the werewolves of course... the few times I died at the manor when I dueled with Voldemort, the many times I could have killed myself with my inventions... Ok, I think that's a bit over five.
"Why am I always targeted somehow?" Moody surprisingly, or not surprisingly given it's Moody, took the shot with me, while Blaise just huffed while Theo answered, somehow more sober than the other teen.
"Cause you deserve it for being a secretive jerk who messes with us all the time" I rolled my eyes again, then did it again just cause it felt funny the second time and then realized I should answer so I just huffed and said.
"Fine, never have I ever talked to death" Everyone was staring at me weird, and I realized maybe that one was a bit to out there as I blinked to myself before saying.
"I think I'm drunk, that's new... I don't like it" Everyone slowly nodded their heads and after a while longer, the game was over as everyone was in varying states of fucked up as I personally chose to just lay on the ground for a while, debating to myself if it was worth it to sober myself up now, cause that meant having to deal with the last hour sober, or if I could put it off a bit longer.
Though no one was leaving yet, just seemingly having fun or relaxing with the buzz we had managed to give ourselves, even the truth device was still on as I finally sat up and decided to make one last comment before leaving.
"I wonder how fast I could have won the war if I had a glock?" With that I sort of half spun around and made my way out of the room we had been using to try and sleep off my mistakes while everyone in the room turned to Harry and Hermione to ask what a gun was.
If my echoing laughter from the hallway I had left to wakl down caused any nightmares, then, well, not my problem.